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USPTO Won't Accept Upside Down Faxes
bizwriter writes "This may seem like a joke, but it's not. The US Patent and Trademark Office will not accept patent filings faxed in if they arrive upside down. That's right, the home of innovation of the federal government is incapable of rotating an incoming fax file, whether electronically or on paper."
I practice civil disobedience by sneaking into the patent office and quickly rotating the faxes upside down...
Can I mod something +1 Scary if it's true but I wish it weren't?
If only there were some unique invention they could license that was capable of such a process as rotating a piece of paper or an electronic image... Excuse me, I feel an urgent need to contact a patent attorney.
Remember to also send the email to him right side up.....
--- To err is human... Am I more human than most ?
When they buy a bag of M&Ms do they throw away all the W, E and 3s too?
... but unfortunately they granted a patent on that in 1987 and don't have the money for the absurd licensing fee the patent holder is asking. Unfortunately the "novel" method patented covers both clockwise and counterclockwise but they're currently looking into rotating them 179 degrees, making the document slightly slanted but avoiding royalties.
My work here is dung.
Albert Einstein: And what is it you want to patent, Herr Smith?
Smith: I call it "Smith's Theory of Relativity."
Albert Einstein: Hey, look at this.
Smith: What?
*SMASH SMASH SMASH*
*scribbles out Smith for Einstein*
Albert Einstein: heh heh heh
Orwell was an optimist.
Just send every single tax filing both ways. The right one gets filed, and wrong one gets rejected. Twice the work for the government.
I'm not sure why you would want to send your tax papers to the US Patent Office.
"A plan fiendishly clever in its intricacies"- Homer Simpson
And then finally they'll get the bright idea to implement software that recognizes whether it's upside down and only print out the ones that are right-side up!
They can't implement that software because a method for doing that has already been patented!
If Pandora's box is destined to be opened, *I* want to be the one to open it.
...turning the page over would breach US Patent #65535 "Method and process for static image manipulation by manual substrate reorientation" and probably also the nototiously over-broad US Patents #55378008 "Process for Bi-manual gluteous maximus location" and #45056 "Method for organising mass inebriation events at a beverage fermentation facility".
They do have to follow their own rules, you know...
In a survey of 100 programmers, 111111 thought that duck-typing was a good idea.
But wait, if you send it upside down, won't it arrive blank?
Can I mod something +1 Scary if it's true but I wish it weren't?
Because some of my deductions are patently, umm, creative.
__ Someday, but not this morning, I'll finally learn to use the preview button.
I'm not sure why you would want to send your tax papers to the US Patent Office.
Three times the work!
+(X) good idea.
(X) is as close as I can get to rendering the infinity symbol in a normal character set.
You could use '8'. Oh, wait, some people don't know how to rotate it...
Quidnam Latine loqui modo coepi?
Just send every single tax filing both ways. The right one gets filed, and wrong one gets rejected. Twice the work for the government.
You forgot they loose the first couple... Best send 10 right side up and 10 solid black versions wrong side right.
Meaning the fax that comes through on the other side is mostly just blank sheets.
So... are you saying that the PTO has been giving out patents for blank pages all this time? Wow that explains a lot!
I think you need to tighten up on your spelling.
Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
I think you need to tighten up on your spelling.
But then no one would respond and I'm o so lonely down here...
.pu deddom teg reven stnemmoc drawoc suomynona ym yhw s'taht oS
Yeah! Waste our tax dollars! That'll really fuck 'em!
Unity? Screw that: XFCE. Slashdot Beta? Screw that: SoylentNews. Australis? Screw that: Pale Moon. UX developers DIAF
Gawd - good catch.
The number of dyslexic patent attorneys still in possession of a fax machine has probably dwindled to extinction.
You can and should file electronically. If you're still using an Underwood machine to prepare patents, you might not be on the cutting edge of innovation.