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What Are the Best Valentine's Day Stunts?
With the oh-so-dreaded Hallmark holiday on the horizon we are flooded with tips and tricks (mostly designed to sell us things our mates cannot live without) of how to please/capture/sedate the ones we care for. One writer even suggests ways to capture the interest of a geeky girl. That said, what are some of the crazier romantically inspired, geeky V-day stunts or activities that you or someone you know has executed to terrible success or failure?
I know. It's out there, but, contrary to my expectations, she didn't totally humiliate me in front of everyone in the cafeteria.
But then I realized the cable was blue, so I only gave it one star. I hate blue.
I never timed it around V-day, but my wife thinks getting pregnant is romantic. :-)
Terrorist, bomb, al Qaeda, nuclear, yellowcake, kill, assassinate. Carnivore is dead... long live Echelon.
Life is not a romantic comedy. If you're already in a relationship, nice chocolate, flowers, and dinner (or any subset of the above) is plenty celebration. If you're not already in a relationship, don't start one on V-day. Just don't.
Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
Flowers + alcohol = good time
:)
Don't be a geek and try to over engineer valentine's day. Keep it simple and if she likes you, good things follow
If you can read this... 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100111 01100101 01100101 01101011
For the record, I hate Valentine's Day. It's just silly to assign a day of the year to plan something romantic.
real women like flowers, chocolate, and other mushy stuff. Though a well thought-out stunt may work on a rare occasion, they are much more likely to backfire than a traditional gift. Have flowers and chocolate on hand just in case.
Sometimes the best solution is to stop wasting time looking for an easy solution.
Chloroform soaked rags always get me the ladies.
Trolling is a art,
I have noticed that my wife tends to really like surprises. It doesn't REALLY matter if I am super-romantic or something... but just surprising her with an outing that's just for her. It's romantic on a deeper level than throwing candy hearts at her.
Now we just have to determine which method he was martyred by.
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DO A BARREL ROLL!!!
Linus and his wife Tove, who is a six-time Finnish national karate champion, met back in 1993 when Linus was teaching a course. He asked the students to send him an e-mail as a test and Tove sent him an e-mail asking for a date (and threatening to break his geeky body worse than his boot loader, should he refuse). And people wonder why Linus has an aversion to mobile phones! Sorry, this was supposed to be a romantic story... Umm, Linus fell... in love with Tove's roundhouse kick.
Why are you tormenting us poor slashdot readers? You know we don't have significant others!
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
Sedate? IANAL, but that's just got to be asking for trouble, at least north of the M-D line.
...if a woman is so shallow that this offends her then fuck her.
Waitaminnit, isn't that the whole point?
And I pulled off one of those a while ago. Actually its been like 2 years. Anyways. Yeah - its pretty easy to do, once you know your girl well enough to get her to play along - and a car definately helps. The idea is simple, place letters along a path, each one giving clues to the next one. Given todays technology, just about everyone has a web enabled phone, which lets you take things a bit further than just a hunt. I had converted the clues into binary... ascii values... Hex... knowing not to do anything complex like public key encryption, lol, but she can recognize what is what and can look it up if she needs help. She eventually made her way down the street to my car, the previous letter informed her to look under the trunk, where an envelope with a spare car key was taped up. She opened the car to find a subjective question of who would win in a fight, 2 raptors or a t-rex - in a very crowded jungle. (We'll leave that open to debate). One envelope said Raptors, and the other said T-rex. It didn't really have any bearing on the actual hunt, but it kind of goes along with this inside joke that we have. We personally think that -EVERYONE- secretly still loves dinosaurs, just when they get older they are too afraid to admit it. Anyways, so it leads her into this park where I'm sitting there, reading my book, with a nice picnic set up. We both agreed earlier that week that Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwhiches are totally still delicious, it seems odd that you stop eating them completely as soon as you are out of junior high. So we had a picnic with sandwhiches.
Needless to say, she really enjoyed it. However, she told all of her friends, and her friends got jealous and razzed their boyfriends, and they all gave me guff the next time they saw me, saying it made them look bad.
I sent my geek girl a box of comic books, calligraphy and knitting supplies and a Supergirl camisole. Later in the week I'll gift her with Dragon Age Origins and Batman: Arkham Asylum through Steam, since I know she wants those games.
She lives a thousand miles away so we don't get to see each other very often, but I know she'll at least be happy with her box of geek goodies.
-- I wanna decide who lives and who dies - Crow T. Robot, MST3K
I cut off my ear and shipped it in a shoebox to a girl I like.
Haven't heard back from her yet.
Or for impressing a geeky girl once could try to execute an injection attack. Just make sure you use a Trojan or you might spawn unwanted child processes.
Boy, this takes me back to the past of the Internet without firewalls and Unix servers running with the regular services, including, finger, enabled. We were at different Universities and often talked using talk...
But she was not online as much as myself, so I had to know, when to start the talk... The solution is obvious: execute finger every minute. If "on since" is detected in the output, write out a log-entry to a file. A separate instance of xbiff was running to alert me, when that file was modified.
Nowadays various instant-messaging clients do this all for you, and even on Slashdot I have to provide Wikipedia links to describe things I'm talking about...
In Soviet Washington the swamp drains you.
I shudder to think of capturing the interest of geeky girls! No more geeky girls for me. When they like you, they tend to like you in a crazy manner! I had the experience of one trying to get my attention in every way. She would always try to understand the software projects that I am working on and even google the terminologies that I put in my blog. This is funny, but she asked me out lots of times, I tried to say no but is really persistent. She once caught me having dinner with friends in restaurant and in a very planned manner, went straight to our table talked to a couple of my friends behind my back and then went to me. She tends to approach love and relationships in a very calculated manner. I am already like that and NO I am not going to spend my life with a person who is just like me (why can't I attract the real girls)? :/
If she's into Soduku, make her a VD Day soduku card.
Or better yet, buy some condoms, so you can keep it as regular "V-Day".
I wanted to find a nice middle ground between lovers who like to send affection to one another on Valentine's Day and cynics who just want to dress in black and stab bitches, so a few years ago I started a charity at Swarthmore College called NinjaGram. It's pretty simple. You pay us $3, which goes to some charity or other, and fill out a card with a cute logo, and then shadowy assassins stalk your target on 14 February and surprise them with the card when they least expect it, screaming "NIIIIINJAGRAM!" Classes and events get interrupted a lot on Valentine's Day, but the administrators and faculty and public safety officers buy and receive as many as the students do, and besides who wants to argue with ninjas? This Valentine's Day, black is the new pink.
I get some 364 days a year...
Thank you!
How much is your data worth? Back it up now.
Hey baby are you ready? I am going to transfer my hot files in to your USB port. Just open up that port and let me slide my hard drive in.
And that's the way you do it...
"So after all this, you make my case for me. To end this stalemate, you must die..."
I think you'll find this works better if step 2 is "add 3 months"...
... So kids born in early July were the result of an an April fools joke involving contraception that was tampered with?
All generalizations are false, including this one. Mark Twain
I've had more men dump me right before Valentines day and then try to fix thing afterward just to avoid the day all together. How's that for a Valentine's stunt. Lovely..... NOT.
Life takes interesting turns, but the most interest is when you're off the beaten path.
love-shy or incel.
You know the song "I wonder, wonder who, who wrote the book of love?" Well, it was Ovid. He wrote Ars Amatoria (2 books) and Remedia Amoris (1 book). The first book was on how to get a girl. The second was on how to keep her. And the third was on how to get over it when it's over.
From the second book, there are 2 days a year you avoid like the plague (unless you're rich and can afford not to): Cupid's Day (later renamed by the Catholic Church as St. Valentine's Day) and her birthday. On both days you'll be expected to give gifts. So, if you can't afford that, Ovid's advice was to break up with her before the day arrives and get back together again with her afterwards.
So I guess you could say, given the fact that there are guys who think that way, simply not breaking up with your girlfriend/wife, despite the 2000 years of expectations she's layering on top of your relationship, is pretty romantic in itself. But don't try to convince her of that. She'll probably want to be pampered in some way anyway.
Knowing this DOES give you a conversational edge, however, on the cynical morons who think that Valentines Day was invented by Hallmark. And ladies, if you you're reading this and are pissed that this advice was EVER given, you might take comfort in having this retort handy: A while later, Augustus Caesar exiled Ovid from Rome for the rest of his life. In Ovid's own words, the reason was carmen et error. The carmen is widely believed to be these 3 books, which ticked off the aristocracy no end.
Ovid
or a 3 month gestation
either way, alien, you've just outed yourself
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
where people argue about quantum thermodynamics but fail at basic math ;-P
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Really, this is my best advice. It is hard to really make your wife/girlfriend think she is important when it appears that every other person in the world is also out for dinner at the place your choice (or a nicer place). You will be herded in like cattle, some generic Valentines Day special things will be found at the tables (candles, special napkins, whatever) but they won't be special or unique as every table will have them. It will be loud, crowded, and uncomfortable even if you do drop a good amount of money at a nice establishment.
Usually I will take the time and cook a fancy meal by myself, something I usually wouldn't do. She gets that nice meal and sees me slaving away to deliver it. Our house is much quieter and private than an overloaded eatery which leads to great conversation (except in one case where she was so in awe by my to that point unknown culinary talents that she preferred to keep trying the different things I cooked rather than talk much.) After that, an activity you both like (hopefully...if not you'll have to settle on one she likes) is good. This can be anything but hopefully not going to the Movie Theater...which will also be crowded and irritating like places to eat.
What I'm hoping for is an offer from an organization I've had several interviews with. If I get the offer, I think I might give my current boss a nice card containing a Poem-of-Resignation.
Another idea that isn't quite ready for prime-time is sending lingerie and perfume to a thieving bastard I know in prison. It's not quite ready for prime-time because although he's been caught, he hasn't been to trial/convicted yet.
A card saying "I'd divorce you all over again" containing a coupon for STD screening for my ex-wife would be pretty funny (I caught her cheating).
"Lame" - Galaxar
So this husband forgot Valentine Day and the wife was furious.
She told him in no uncertain terms that tomorrow morning she expected a gift in the driveway that goes from zero to 200 in less than ten seconds - AND IT BETTER BE THERE.
Next morning the husband leaves early. Later the wife awakes and looks out the window to spot a small gift-wrapped box in the driveway. So she puts on a robe and brings the box in the house to open it.
And inside is a brand new bathroom scale.
Eternity: will that be smoking, or non-smoking? I Corinthians 6:9-10
You said:
Okay, let's see... someone says their birthday is in December. Subtract 3 months. So they were conceived in September? Uh... that would mean they were either in the womb for 3 months of 15.
So to answer your question, yes, you're really that stupid.
The enemies of Democracy are
Show her the star whose distance in light years is approximately equal to her age. The photons reaching our eyes left that star the year she was born. This revelation is always followed by a moment of silence, misty eyes, or a quiet "wow". After tickling her brain, hugs & kisses come easily...
Here's a cheat sheet to help you select the right star: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_nearest_bright_stars and here's a site to help you locate the chosen star: http://www.heavens-above.com/ (use the constellations page & the whole sky chart).
Next year, she'll be a year older, and it will be a different star. We sometimes do this on her birthday.
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire
i suck, i'm a moron
(red faced)
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
I have a long distance relationship, several states over, so I don't get to see my girlfriend often. This summer I'm moving out to be with her, so last Christmas I tried to make things go extra well. To prepare for Valentines day, when I knew I wouldn't be able to be there, I hid ten slips of paper all over her room with passwords on them. I gave her clues to find the next one each time she found one, in the form of little riddles. She's found all of them now, and I'm about to send her a box with a microcontroller/display that won't open without the passwords. Inside are some personal things, and candy, a letter, etc.
I was inspired by another project that was location-locked. It had a GPS and merely displayed the distance to the unlock location when a button was pressed.
Seriously, there's a lot to be said for a nice kiss, hug and a sincere "I Love You" - though my wife and I did that every day anyway (yes, every day) for 20 years. She died of a brain tumor in January 2006 and I still give her a kiss, hug and an "I Love You" - every day - with the addition of "I Miss You".
It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
I was part of a small singing group (a quartet) back in my early college days. The quartet would do four-part singing Valentines as a fundraiser for the music program. I was engaged at the time, and decided to pull one over on my wife to be. While delivering some of the singing valentines in the campus commons area, we sang one after another after another, while the director just shuffled us from table to table. Sometimes we would ask for the target first and deliver a Valentines note or card from our customer. Other times, we would sing first and had over the card afterwards.
We approached the table where my fiancee and her friends were sitting, and then broke into our rendition of "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree With Anyone Else But Me." At the conclusion of the song, our director announced "To [my fiancee's first name], from Robert," at which time I made myself look shocked and loudly proclaimed, " Who's Robert?!?! ".
When the look of panic set in on her face and she started insisting that she didn't know any Robert, I ended the gag and said, "I know. That was from me." I'm not sure if she really wanted to kill me over the next few minutes, but she was laughing about it shortly thereafter. To this day, 17 years later, she loves telling that story to friends old and new, and we all laugh and laugh and laugh.
~Robert
I use irony whenever I can, but my shirts are still wrinkled...
Make sure you use Y2KY jelly. It allows you to fit four digits into your date instead of two.
Disconnect your television. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. They're probably lying. Don't be a sheep.
Show her the star whose distance in light years is approximately equal to her age. The photons reaching our eyes left that star the year she was born.
My wife's age is closest to the star Beta Virginis. I can see it now "So you're saying you want me to be a born again virgin???? *slams door*" Thanks a bunch dude!
These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
Seriously. Can you tell me any other day when a UPS uniform and a pack of pralines or a bunch of flowers gets you access anywhere?
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.