Slashdot Mirror
Southwest Declares Kevin Smith Too Fat To Fly
theodp writes "Kevin Smith is not a happy Southwest customer. The director was thrown off a flight from Oakland to Burbank, after being deemed too fat to fly. He later wound up on another Southwest flight, but has declared It's On and taken his rants to Twitter. 'Dear @SouthwestAir — I know I'm fat, but was Captain Leysath really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?' he began. He also let the airline know he'd made it to his destination. 'Hey @SouthwestAir! I've landed in Burbank. Don't worry: wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised.'"
I'll bet Southwest will wish he really was Silent Bob.
"The average reporter we talk to is 27 years old......They literally know nothing." - Ben Rhodes
Hello Mr. Dear Anonymous Coward,
Your words disgust me. Not only because they are not true, but some people just have big bones.
All the best,
Me
........but somehow the only thing I can feel about this is "Yay Southwest!" Hello schadenfreude. I am an asshole.
Qxe4
I still think its awesome, but let's keep this next celebrity rivalry off of slashdot. Slashdot didn't cover trump vs o'donnel, and it doesn't cover paris hilton, so while Kevin Smith is a nerd celeb, let's not report on every twitter update in this matter? Mmmkay?
It's an excuse for a massive flamewar between the obese nerds munching on pizza and the excessively skinny nerds sucking down sugar-free caffeine drinks. Anything to take our minds off the fact that it is February 14th again and Natalie Portman still hasn't turned up at our door covered in hot grits and bearing a court order reversing the previous decision and allowing us to communicate with her again.... sigh.....
Do you even know who this guy is? He isn't THAT big.
Are you referring to his weight or his career?
New rule: "If your butt doesn't fit in this box, you will have to go first class or buy two tickets."
Here's what really happened.
The pilot, a registered Republican, woke up from his nap (pilots cat-nap as much as they can because of the new budget-saving schedules), saw the guy, and mistook him for Michael Moore.
Southwest Airlines was aware of the situation last night, and is working to remedy it. Nothing to see here, move along rubber neckers. From @SouthwestAir:
I've read the tweets all night from @thatkevinsmith - He'll be getting a call at home from our Customer Relations VP tonight.
So why is this posted as a story on /.?
Because a lot of /.'er are Kevin Smith fans, and fat?
(ducks and prepares to lose her Karma)
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your politician, and hitting them?"
They do. They're called doors.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
Though from your contemptuous tone I'm guessing you're one of those few people who DOESN'T try to accomodate people in armchairs or blind people.
Ahem....
Romanes eunt domus!
Just work out. Then you will fit into the seats.
This will take quite some time to take off.
*snicker*
(ducks and prepares to lose her Karma)
Fishing for a /. Valentine, are we? :)
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law
Aparently he's some fat guy.
What if the fat bastard tries to eat your kid?
What's all this then?
People called Romanes, they go, the house?
Once I was a four stone apology. Now I am two separate gorillas.
In this case, "Romanes eat donuts"
Please don't use "umm" or "err" or "erm".
This is what elbows are for. You'd be amazed how much smaller some people become after the eighth 'Sorry, was that you?'
Of course it's about overflow, and those of us who take care not to be grossly fat fucks shouldn't have to be victims of the hambeast in the next seat.
No sympathy here. If you don't fit an airline seat, cargo net your fat disgusting ass to a pallet and go air freight.
"This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
What if the fat bastard tries to eat your kid?
Then he would have to pay extra on the food portion of his ticket. And your kid would get a corresponding discount.
If I can be modded down for being a troll, can I be modded up for being an orc, or a balrog?
...and some people are just assholes ...
Fat assholes!
Let me introduce you to Mr. Procrustes.
Contribute to civilization: ari.aynrand.org/donate
Co-pilot, rev up the left engine, hmmm, for some reason we are tilting..
Have you fscked your local propeller head today?
I'm having terrible visions of ticket agents playing Tetris to figure out whether or not a plane is overbooked. One of them calls out over the airport public address system: "Is there a tall skinny person who wants to fly to Dallas? I need a tall skinny person!"
Confucius say, man who walk through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.
... and now for something completely different!
You awake to find yourself on a Southwest flight out of Oakland. It is pitch black.
You are likely to the eaten by Kevin Smith.
The politically correct term is 'calorically challenged.'
Spoken like a true fatty. If you put as much effort into losing weight as you do making up excuses for your giant arse, you might be better off.
There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, and nine other kinds of people.
"and does this mean fat people have a larger carbon footprint???"
No. Just deeper.
http://www.rootstrikers.org/
I once boarded a multi-hour flight only to find that I was ticketed as the middle seat amid several rows of men travelling together to a weight lifting competition. These guys could put the armrests down, but physically couldn't put their arms down at their sides. I had elbows in my face the whole way. I tried starting a fight but they wouldn't take me seriously.
Inside every fat person there is a thin person ...
Only one??
"The hands that help are better far than lips that pray." - Robert Ingersoll (1833-1899)
Coming from a guy named couchslug...
But they also said "within the confines of the seat". So you have a guy who normally takes two seats, he's managed to somehow squish himself into one but I imagine he was overflowing into the next (it's amazing how flabby these people get) and the stewardess had to call him on it. Tough for him but I bet the passenger next to him was very, very happy.
That's pure speculation. You don't know the details and neither do I. Maybe he was comfortably seated and the pilot just broke up with his fat wife?
Southwest: the airline whose fanboys make those of Apple seem like intelligent, rational adults.