Slashdot Mirror


User: PizzaAnalogyGuy

PizzaAnalogyGuy's activity in the archive.

Stories
0
Comments
37
First seen
Last seen
Profile
(view on slashdot.org)

Comments · 37

  1. Simple reason on Why Are We So Rude Online? · · Score: 5, Funny

    Oh, but this is simple. People are rude when, well... Well let me tell you a story of my friend called Dave.

    Dave was an ordinary boy with wild imagination. He was popular with the guys for several reasons, but the fact that he and his mother let us play GoldenEye on his Nintendo64 wasn't easy to ignore. All of us guys used to gather at his house and play a few rounds of the great multiplayer experience that only the original GoldenEye gave.

    I noticed that people tented to get angry during the game. They would verbally attack other players and even punch them a bit. Dave didn't - he actually seemed quite an non-aggressive fella. What was the secret to Dave's non-aggressive and non-rude behavior? Because his mother made him these wonderful home cooked pizzas. He wasn't angry because he ate well!

  2. UNIX Differences on Ask Slashdot: What Should a Unix Fan Look For In a Windows Expert? · · Score: 4, Funny

    When looking for a Windows expert you have to look past the first appearance. I am a hardcore tomato sauce fan. And when I say hardcore, I mean it. Tomato sauce is the base of any pizza we all so like. But beyond that Windows admin can look almost anything, and still be completely usable. Just like your favorite pan pizza.

    The best way to illustrate differences between Windows and UNIX admins is the way they use space. The base of the system is usually laid out differently. In UNIX you have / whereas in Windows you use C:\ and other drive letters. It's like the difference between normal italian style pizza and american pan pizza.

    Let me tell you a story about a friend from my childhood. He loves Linux. You could say he is Linux power user. Back in the 90's I was over his apartment and we kept playing this Nintendo64 game called GoldenEye. It was awesome. Split-screen multiplayer and even while we could see each other, we still loved it. The levels were laid out beatifically and played out very nicely.

    But at some point you obviously become hungry. Then I got an idea.. "Let's call some pizzas over!", I uttered and tried to reach to the phone. However, it was way too far. I crashed down from the couch and now I was rolling around on the floor. My stomach was so big and soft that it kept me in motion and I rolled over the table where the telephone was, crashing it on the floor and breaking it. I said "damn it".. And we didn't get any pizza until we went out in the open. But we still did it, proudly. We were the goldeneye playing pizza bros!

    I think the main point is that whatever obstacles you may find with your new friend there is always way to get around them. With pizza.

  3. Outsourcing saves costs on Ask Slashdot: Is Outsourcing Development a Good Idea? · · Score: -1

    While outsourcing does save costs, it can also bring down the quality. Let me tell you an example in the form of analogy that everyone can better understand.

    During the nice times before multinationalists corporations took over everything, we used to have tons of great local businesses. Shops, farms and places that were run by local people with care and most importantly, dignity. Just ordinary people who were truly happy when they could offer a good service. What we have now is outsourcing everything to lowest bidder - people who don't actually care about quality or good service.

    Back in the days I used to go out to the local farms and other establishments to get our goods. We would enjoy a nice chat and beer with the owners. Then we would buy the goods, like ham, onions, garlic and other good stuff from the friendly people we knew. And we always knew they actually cared about providing quality service and products. After all, it was also their own home town.

    In turn, when people came to enjoy our great pizza, they knew they would be enjoying locally produced excellent quality pizza that was prepared with love. This was the time when people and companies would make products and sell services not just for the money, but because it actually made them feel good and proud of themselves. Like I did, and still do. Every time a pizza customer of mine comes to compliment me of my pizza good, I feel great joy and I am proud of actually giving a good service. Where is that with these multinationals?

  4. The Good Old Pizza Times on Pizza Lovers Suffer Data Breach From Hell · · Score: 5, Funny

    This reminds me of the time when I was 13. We had just got out of school and bicycled home. You know why? Because I, let me clarify _I_, had this new awesome game Lemmings. When we got to my house, I would fire up my Amiga and we would just laugh at the stupid lemmings jumping to their death if I didn't do something to stop them. Making them dig, guide others, or give them umbrellas - it was great.

    The problem was that later on we obviously got hungry. This happened many times. Someone had to go get some food. Pizza was the obvious choice. But who would it be? I didn't want to. So we played a game of rock paper scissors. Damn, I lost. I tried to have an another round, but they didn't let me. There was nothing I could do.

    I had to get up my ass and go get pizza. I asked my friends what they wanted. Adam said he wanted a delicious Pepperoni pizza. Jim said he wanted a Hawaiian pan pizza. I tried to remember their choices and took my bike. On the way over to the restaurant I tried to think what I want. Supreme pizza, double-cheese or maybe double bacon cheeseburger pizza?

    I arrived at the pizza place. The taste was beautiful. I felt like I was home. I walked in and ordered three large pizzas, mine being the double bacon cheeseburger pizza. I felt so hungry. I just wanted to grab the pizza and eat. When the pizzas came, I had to eat there. I also took a few pieces of my friends pizzas because I wanted to taste them. Man I was happy.

    Back then we didn't have credit cards, so I paid with the small amount of money that was in my pocket. No problems for the vendor, no problems for me, and everything worked greatly. The lesson being - pay with cash.

  5. Re:Other countries are interesting on Perth Game Company CEO Takes IP By Night · · Score: -1, Troll

    Actually I'm asking slashdot. How I am supposed to fight the cheapo crappy pizza places when I offer quality pizzas? Does it matter to keep quality? What you love about pizza?

    I love my pizzas to be as cheap as possible.

    But why? Apart from the usual everything-as-cheap-as-possible, the pizzas on crap places taste shit. And it's not like it's much different - $1-2 and you get a lot better ingredients, crust and service. If anyone has ever visited any of those cheap pizza places in Europe, you know what I'm talking about.

  6. Other countries are interesting on Perth Game Company CEO Takes IP By Night · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Remember that it's not so bad to leave a country to do business elsewhere. When I worked in Naples, I would not get almost any pay. Yes, I was a kid and I was supposed to work for my father, but I wanted something off from it. If it doesn't work like you want to, you go somewhere where it does.

    Not that it wouldn't be good - Me myself and customers loved great good crust with beautiful cheese, bacon, tomato, ham and barbeque sauce on top of it. And with Mountain Dew. But our counsin had his pizzeria just next to ours - he stole customers from us and we had to fight to fight.

    This lead me to escape to America. In the beginning of 90's I started my own pizza place in the Manhattan. It was great time - customers rolled in, were happy and just loved what I baked. But the competition came there too - there was thousands of cheapo kebab/pizza places that offered substandard pizzas to customers with lower prices.

    I tried to fight - I tried to it with quality. I tried having free beers and hookers. But people just went to the cheap pizza places. How am I supposed to work with that?

    Actually I'm asking slashdot. How I am supposed to fight the cheapo crappy pizza places when I offer quality pizzas? Does it matter to keep quality? What you love about pizza?

  7. Re:That's what you get on Southwest Declares Kevin Smith Too Fat To Fly · · Score: 3, Funny

    Hello Mr. Dear Anonymous Coward,

    Your words disgust me. Not only because they are not true, but some people just have big bones.

    All the best,
    Me

  8. Re:Big Battle on Bing To Become Default iPhone Search? · · Score: 1, Funny

    But how do you feel about delicious pizza with some mountain dew?

  9. Re:Times have changed on Former Exec Says Electronic Arts "Is In the Wrong Business" · · Score: 5, Funny

    ..terpiece pizzas, because even if these gamers get more social, not all of their old habits are going to disappear. They will still need their crusty big pizzas with pepperoni, italian sausage, green peppers, red onions and mushroom toppings taken down with a big glass of coca-cola while raiding in WoW. Only that way they can ever find mas...

  10. Italy in science on Scientists Turn Wood Into Bone · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Everyone always thinks Italy is just about Pizza. While in fact I did grow up in Naples, and my father and his cousin owned a pizza place next to each other, that is not the case.

    Tenderly close your eyes and hear a story about my friend who used to work on this project..

    There was a good time. It was the beginning of the year 2004. It was a big day. World of Warcraft was going public on this very day. I told my mother to leave us alone in our basement for the night. We had walked to the local pizza joint to get ourselves lots of pizzas. I ordered a Hawaiian style pan-pizza with ham, pineapples, shrimps and salami. In a barbeque sauce. And with coca-cola and mountain dew. Everything was ready. We were ready to enter the world of WoW.

    As we dipped our fingers in mayonnaise and grabbed our first slices of the delicious pizza and watched the timer slowly, but painfully run out, we knew we were the best friends. 3.. 2.. 1.. It was time to login. I made a human mage. He made an undead warrior. Stupid decisions - we would be enemies. But we continued playing, and leveled our first dings.

    After both eating 4 pizzas and a huge amount of sugar flavoured drinks, we were going mad. It was time to see each others and settle all of our real life battles in the game. We met in wetlands. We would fight to death. The loser would be the everlasting loser. It was a time to win or die!

    But as my friend was running towards wetlands, he got hungry. He ran out miserably looking for more delicious pizza. Now I heard about this story and saw his name there, and I'm surprised. I should probably get off his mom's basement now and go home.

  11. Re:Own fault on Monty Wants To Save MySQL · · Score: 5, Funny

    If you go to a pizza joint and order a buffalo chicken style pizza with tender chicken breast, hot sauce, and onions with provolone and American cheeses on a cheddar crust, and eat it with a big glass of mountain dew, you can't just go back and say "Now that I think of it, I would rather have had Hawaiian style pan-pizza with sliced ham, bacon, pineapple and roasted red peppers with provolone cheese on a parmesan crust". You've made your deal already. If you want an another pizza, you have to buy it again.

  12. Re:I already see this happening on Adobe Flash To Be Top Hacker Target In 2010 · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Last night I was spending some time at my friends place. We have a long history raiding together in WoW - he always takes care of me, kills enemies that try to approach me from behind and heals me when I'm on the verge of dieing. He is a person that one might call a "good friend". If he would be a girl, I would marry her. But no patches and no new content in WoW has hit it somewhat. We've already done everything, we've already seen everything and we've already experienced everything together. While waiting for the new expansion, it was time to go test a new Game.

    As we left all the possible MMO's to download, we figured it was time to go get a pizza. Truth to be told, we were quite hungry at that point. While walking towards the pizza place, I was just thinking about all the delicious ingredients I could choose from. Should I take a crusty hawaiian style pizza with ham and pineapples, dipped in barbeque sauce and extra cheese and mayonnaise on top. Or would it be better to eat a large pizza with tenderly sliced onions, steak, pepper and mushroom with American cheese on top. Or go wild and order both of them.. I just had to make sure there would be enough room left for pancakes with strawberry jam afterwards as a dessert.

    We made our orders and sat on the table to wait. I couldn't wait - two best large pizzas, some coca-cola and pancakes as a dessert. Then all the new MMO's to test. It was a happy day. I was happy.

    As the cook brought us our pizzas, he told us there were minor changes on the ingredients as they were out on some. No biggie, I said and paid my pizzas and pancake. We walked back home and started this game called "Eve Online" to test it out, as it looked interesting. At this point, I was almost dieing in hunger. I opened my pizza box and to my surprise.. he had changed the barbeque sauce to mexican sauce! This is madness, I was yelling. But in the end, it was a great pizza, and I still had the another one too. All the crustiness, mayonnaise, cheese and fresh taste made up for it. And so did the pancakes with strawberry jam dessert.

  13. Re:Needs more controversy on Critics Call For NASA TV To "Liven Up" · · Score: 1, Interesting

    Adding made-up controversy to a technical tv program would be like baking a pizza in a french fries deep-frier. Result might taste great, but the pizza just doesn't fit in it.

    This is why I like Man v. Food. No matter if you like sandwiches, hot dogs or hamburgers, I know there will never be anything as good food as hawaiian style pan pizza with barbeque sauce. But the show is entertaining, so I enjoy watching it, while knowing its not always technically correct.

    In Naples we used to have these pizza baking competitions between my father and his cousins place next to us. They would give slices of pizzas to everyone walking past and ask which one is better. This usually ended up with them yelling at each other in their white cooking dresses, but more people gathered around to watch what was going on and because it was entertaining, they ended up ordering pizzas too. Win win for all, except for me who had to serve them as a little boy while I would wanted to be playing soccer with my friends.

  14. Re:IPv6 addresses are overly complex on Windows 7 May Finally Get IPv6 Deployed · · Score: 0

    Hello!

    I'm coming from year 4931 and using my time machine, I have traveled here to tell you that this url actually worked. We rolled out ipv6 four years ago.

    Now where do I get those delicious Hawaiian pan pizzas... With ham, pineapples, bacon and salami.. With some BBQ sauce, mm..

    Eat your delicious pizzas now, because when China soon takes over the world they will make pizza illegal.

    See you in future!

  15. as a kid on The Nuking of Duke Nukem · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ah, memories from childhood. One day my friend told me he had found a kickass game from a BBS and asked if I wanted to go play it with him after school. He described it to me and I was already sold, but but... My mother Giovanna had told me to help my father at our family pizza place after school. Damn it!

    School day became to end and I tried to consider my options, but there were none. I had to go help my papa make pizza. Frustraded, almost crying, I walked the streets of Naples back home. Every now and then I watched inside a window on the street and noticed someone playing on computer. I was thinking if that could be it, but I'd never know.

    I decided to think for a moment. Like a good oven takes its time and peace to bake and finish a delicious pizza, my padre would wait for me. It was time to go see what the game was about.

    And I was amazed. Great looking graphics, funny sounding man that I did not understand and girls with something on their chest that looked like doughnuts with a salami on top of it. It was truly marvelous.

    While later serving customers at my fathers pizza place, I couldn't but think that I have to get a computer and this Duke Nukem 3D game. I mean, I loved baking pizza. But there is a time when a boy must choose between leisure and girls. But my father never got me a computer.

    Like an overbaked pizza, my dreams were crushed when Duke Nukem Forever never came.

  16. Scary on Doom-Like Video Surveillance For Ports In Development · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    While I think it's kind of scary, I'd say its a good progress. Lets imagine you're a troll hunter in World of Warcraft. Everyone knows your class sucks. But you still keep going and going and try to show people that you are the man. You finally find friends that take you in, but there's a major problem. Your pizza is coming in 20 minutes. You try to give reasons for delaying the raid, but you fail. People are angry at you. You fail. You should had been shitting fireballs and defending your friends, but instead you choose pizza. Which is, btw, a good choice. Who cannot love a ham, pepperoni, pineapple and bbq sauce pizza? The point here being, open source games are great.

  17. You get what you pay for on Extended Warranty Purchases Up 10% This Year · · Score: 0, Insightful

    It makes sense really.

    If you want better service and better quality, you pay a little more. Those who dont, get the main product a little bit cheaper, but not with the extra services it comes with. You pay more to be a premium customer.

    This is best illustrated with a good example; Everyone of us go for a pizza sometimes. Many of us go to where the pizza is cheap, even if you know it's not really the best you can get. But it's good enough. However some of us want to go for the extra mile and spend a few dollars more to get really quality service. In those cases you won't be hearing "we're out of ham" or "sorry, we don't serve barbeque sauce with our pizzas". Pay a little bit extra and you get the best service and best ingredients without hearing they don't have them. And the customer support is a lot better - there's no any angry fat italian cook looking and yelling at you and throwing you out of the pizza place if you don't celebrate his pizza's taste. Instead, there's naked ladies serving you the pizzas, lovely and peaceful italian music and live performance. And everyone smiles and as a result you will be happier than ever, and have enjoyed the best pizza in the world, filled with bacon, ham, pineapple and barbeque sauce.

    You get what you pay for.

  18. Outrageous on Documentation Compliance Means MS Can Resume Collecting Protocol Royalties · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This is outrageous, and I have two examples why. First, protocols are like food recipes. The pizza you sell is yours, but the ingredients to make it is not. Here the protocol is your ham, pineapple, salami and shrimps on a barbeque sauce large size pan pizza. You have not stolen the app from your competitor, you're just making yours compatible with theirs. Like the third party IM clients can connect to MSN network. Secondly, how would any of those open source apps pay for the royalties? But maybe this is Microsoft's plan. Let me tell you what is happening here. Microsoft is paying for the local BBQ Sauce factory to include a license agreement before you can use their sauce in your pizzas. The license agreement says you are only allowed to use their BBQ sauce on Microsoft approved pizzas. And before you know, these pizzas will be degraded. Forget your ham, forget your pineapples, forget you bacon and forget your cheese. THIS is the pizza we offer, and this will be the pizza you like.

  19. The Possibilities on How To See Through an Invisibility Cloak · · Score: -1

    Imagine the possibilities. A rockin night out at a night club, some girl falls in love with you and later you give her the best sex she has ever had. You will not need to sneak out in morning; put on the invisibility cloak, kiss her tits a goodbye, and grab a slice of delicious hawaiian pizza with one beer from her refrigerator and just get home.

    And like, what kind of a girl would have a fucking particle launcher next to her bed?

  20. Re:Have you guys ever... on Verizon Changes FiOS AUP, -1, Offtopic · · Score: 0

    Someone talking about ham? Here I am!

    I love big fat pan-pizza with lots of crusty cheese filled with slices of ham, pineapple, shrimp and salami with BBQ sauce dropped in top of it. With a mountain dew on side and chocolate ice cream as dessert. And strawberries. And beer. And hookers.

    I mean, big steak barbecued is great too. And so are hamburgers and hot dogs. But nothing can ever beat big fat pizza.

    Mmmmm, I'm out to eat.

  21. I am scared. I am intrigued. on Scientists Create Artificial Meat · · Score: 1, Insightful

    The scientist raise a valid issue. This meat is from a artificial "muscle" that has never received any kind of exercise or strengthened itself. That is why it's not as steak, but I think it also affects taste of the meat too.

    As a man who has run several pizzerias during my lenghty life, and as a man who respects a good steak, good bacon and good ham on a large pizza, I'm scared that this will replace the real meat at some point. This gives a stupid reason for Peta and other hippies to try to ban 'real' meat and put everybody to eat artificially produced meat.

    Say goodbye to bacon pizzas, tasty and meaty hamburgers, hot dogs, a good grilled steak with french fries and most importantly, delicious food.

  22. This is how we did it in Naples on Google-Microsoft Crossfire Will Hit Consumers · · Score: 4, Funny

    I spent my childhood living in Naples, Italy. The city and community was filled with competition. My dad owned his own pizza place next to his cousins pizza place. They were angry at each other, many times going to the street in their white cooking clothes and yelling at each other. Other one took off customers from the another. They could had sold many more delicious pizzas, but couldn't because there just wasn't enough customers. What I learned from it was that you need a clean playing field, so I moved to New York and started my pizza place on the fifth avenue. But competition came there too. Then I decided to become a pizza consultant and just make pizzas for the fun of it. I've never been happier.

    What I'm saying here is that in the end customers won't get hit by competition. It will be bad for the pizza place owners, but there will always be pizzas for everyone. And they will be even more delicious, because the pizza place owners have to fight harder.

  23. It works with everything on Record-Breaking Black Friday For eBay's PayPal · · Score: 4, Funny

    People buy on special occasions. People buy even more when they know things will be cheap.

    Let me give you an example.

    If a pizza place advertisers for weeks that on this exact day all the pizzas will be just $2, and there will be hookers, and there will be free beer, and there will be rock music, people will come in and buy. And they will come in as a big crowd. So big that if everyone orders a combination of sweet Italian sausage, pepperoni, Canadian bacon, Capicola ham, julienne salami, Mozzarella cheese in BBQ sauce, there will not be enough for everyone. But the business will flower and they get great returns as so many people rush in.

    This same thing happens everywhere, so why not online too?

  24. Re:Oh really? on In AU, Film Studios Issue Ultimatum To ISPs · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    In pizza business it's quite common thing to be nice towards your customers. If I get a copyright notice from MPAA after serving my customer a pizza, I wont just take that pizza away. He can continue eating it until court orders me to stop providing food for the guy. But even if I have to stop providing him food, I will continue providing him mountain dew. If the ISP is also a mobile phone operator and is ordered to cut the customer, it should only affect the service in question.

    The thing is, I'm a common carrier when I'm delivering pizzas as a pizza delivery guy. It is not my responsibility to handle what the customer has ordered in his pizza. Yes, I hate mushrooms in pizza. I prefer bacon. I would even suggest ordering bacon with lots of cheese over mushrooms. But if thats what the customer wants, it is not my responsibility to interfere with that. Or even know what toppings he ordered.

    When MPAA gets close to our pizza business, we WILL stand up and fight in court. We WILL defend our hungry customers. We WILL defend the freedom to eat pizza and drink mountain dew while raiding the latest badass boss in World of Warcraft. They aren't going to take our freedom away!

  25. Re:The best on Home Router For High-Speed Connection? · · Score: 4, Funny

    Eh, in most european countries its fairly common to see 100 Mbps at home. And NAT and such isn't exactly CPU hungry, at least not in the 30-100 Mbps range.

    What comes to the submitters question, you probably have old router (and it's D-Link too..)

    For the most delicious router, choose Buffalo or Linksys. They are like the bacon, steak, onion, american cheese and pineapple pan pizza on a BBQ sauce - you just gotta love it.

    Going to the internet without a good router is like taking a flight to Somalia and except you get a good service in their Pizza Hut. It might be good, it might even be delicious, but you aren't going to get ice cream as a dessert.