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Food Activist's Life Becomes The Life of Brian
krou writes "After food activist and author Raj Patel appeared on The Colbert Report to promote his latest book, things seemed to be going well, until he began to get inundated with emails asking if he was 'the world teacher.' In events ripped straight from The Life of Brian, it would seem that Raj Patel's life story ticks all the boxes necessary to fulfill prophecies made by Benjamin Creme, founder of religious sect Share International. After the volume of emails and inquiries got worse, Patel eventually wrote a message on his website stating categorically that he was not the Messiah. Sure enough, 'his denial merely fanned the flames for some believers. In a twist ripped straight from the script of the comedy classic, they said that this disavowal, too, had been prophesied.'"
He's NOT the messaiah, he is a very naughty boy!
I predict a long series of Python quotes incoming. Allow me to post one of my all-time favorites:
Followers: "Only the true Messiah denies his divinity!"
Brian "What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right, I AM the Messiah!"
Followers: "He is! He is the Messiah!"
Brian: "Now, Fuck off!"
*awkward pause*
Followers: "How shall we fuck off, oh Lord?"
One of the better parts of an overall extremely funny movie.
Also, I predict that this article on Slashdot will make all of his email problems so much better!
psmylie's dictionary: Godzillion (noun) Any number large enough to destroy Tokyo
...
To be fair, his book did say "Blessed are the cheese makers", so he does bear some of the culpability.
There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
Shame you started using photos in stories. Never has the foot icon been more appropriate.
# cat
Damn, my RAM is full of llamas.
is he with the People's Front of Judea or the Judean People's Front?
"I'm just here to regulate funkiness."
I'm really not. Not at all. Don't worship me. Don't send money to my PO Box. Certainly do not make tax-deductible contributions to charitable organizations in my name. Please, really, stop it.
He should abuse the shit out of these retards.
I bet these prophecies don't say anything about him putting his followers into poverty for his own personal vices.
Tell them he's not their messiah but he wants all of their money so he can spend it on hookers and blow.
Although that still might not work, after all scientology has a way more suckers than these share international fools.
When information is power, privacy is freedom.
"People are very ready to abdicate responsibility and have it shovelled on to someone else's shoulders," he said. "You saw that with Obama most spectacularly, but whenever there's going to be someone who's just going to fix it for you, it's a very attractive story. It's in every mythological structure."
I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly, alert.
"It's the kind of paradox that's inescapable," he said, with a grim humour. "There's very little chance or point trying to dig out of it."
Here's the outline:
I will implement all of that for, um, 95% of the take - this will add to the scandal if I'm getting rich off of it. I promise, in order to save you, I will spend the money on porn stars, blow, booze, private jets, an extremely lavish lifestyle, and I will do everything in my power to totally disgust those nuts that think you're a deity.
I will do it all for you, my client. That's how committed I am!
All ye who call yourself Gourdenes...
Ezekiel 23:20
Splitter!
[All Your Fish Are Belong To Us]
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
To anybody who ever wondered why, a couple of centuries ago, a group of very sensible gentlemen who were engaged in a nation-building exercise put in place a division between church and state...well, you need look no further.
I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
Always look on the briiight side of life...
but I would be shagging like there is no-tomorrow!
Honestly, now the only way out for this guy is "leaking" an internet sex tape involving goats, a cheese grater and a midget.
..as a figure who combines messianism for Christians, Buddhists, Hindus, Jews and Muslims alike ...
In Buddhism, I know of no concept of a "messiah". None. Maybe those of you who have perhaps studied more of the Sutras than I could offer another point of view.
There's a saying in Buddhism, "If you see the Buddha on the side of the road; kill him!"
I don't see how the concept of messiah would fit into the teachings.
Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!
I judt got a nre Kinesis keybiartf so please excusr ant egregiou typos.
He is promoting rules of how you should eat, a dietary law if you will. If he tells us how to run our sex lives and wears a funny hat, case closed.
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
Isn't this basically how Rastafarianism got started?
You can't just deny something like this, with crazies, they must have another target. Figure out who is a likely suspect, a public figure, someone at work, a neighbor in your building who is particularly rude and say, "No, but I know who is." You already have credibility in their demented eyes, so a good portion of them should believe the redirection.
I say you are Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few.
'If Christ had tweeted the sermon on the mount, it might have lasted until nightfall.' - John Perry Barlow
When the man balancing his thoughts awakens from his active rest, to do the work he surmised in his meditations, then he will be pulled by the parasites to adjust him to their contentions of religion regardless of his progress of harmony.
Law is a matter of religion, constantly trolling your actions to it's courts for you to correct and elaborate you to inactivity; as gravity pulling a delicate fruit to a destructive fall, the most religious are the creatures that profess to have none, that demand your appreciation of their achievements credit to their name rather than kindness.
Such as religion, to take away an unnumerable blessing to assign a number of it's own, and draw you in by it's wenches.
I was thinking more like Pope Leo X, who famously said: "Since God has given us the Papacy, let us enjoy it."
He was a fun loving guy, gave tons of money away to the sick and to the poor, loved the arts and people of learning. He restored universities, gave more money to teachers, and on and on.
There's a lot of negative things that could be said about him, but for some reason I have a difficult time calling them to mind.
Raj Patel might want to consult the wisdom of Winston, after having consulted the wisdom of Brian.
We are obviously talking the "Share International" Maitreya cult here .. http://www.share-international.org/ You can shove it up your ass, Creme then take it out and shove it through the noses of the people paying you.
The main idea behind the cult is there are a 40 some "Ascended Masters" here to guide humanity in the "New Age". Each of these masters will address a specific concern .. and those concerns are healthcare, economics, .. I think you get the picture. The idea is for us to step aside for 40 galactic "benevolent" dictators while they take over. I for one don't think so. I'm not sure if they are a spin-off of the "Ashtar Galactic Command" or if it is the other way around.
All he has to do is ask for money and everyone will get disgusted and leave.
That or he'll make tons of money.
Come to think of it, his book sales are probably doing quite well. Why NOT be the messiah and use that influence to get people to eat better?
Their website: http://www.share-international.org/
They talk about his a lot on the main page (apparently they call him "Maitreya").
And of course most of the stuff said is pretty ridiculous and funny.
Troll is not a replacement for I disagree.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Sounds like self-promotion. I highly doubt anyone e-mailed him.
"There have been similar cases in the past, including Steve Cooper, an unemployed man from Tooting, south London, who was identified by a Hindu sect as the reincarnation of a goddess and now lives in a temple in Gujurat with scores of followers."
you out of work, out of money, at your lowest and then a bunch of people claim you are a Goddess and takes you to their temple and pampers you.
Man, what a day. or maybe not:
http://www.southasianpost.com/portal2/ff80808111f169c20111fc7c4cdc0047_Steve_Cooper__Hindu_god.do.html
OTOH I wonder if anyone checked up on him? He might need help. I mean, we are talking about cultist. Better pack up the Tommy and dynamite.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
My unit had our own little Monty Python story in Iraq.
We were watching Holy Grail in the shop late when a core switch caught fire shortly followed by it's neighbor so now it goes...
"What do we burn?"
"SWITCHES!"
"What else do we burn?"
"MORE SWITCHES"
I'll meet you at the intersection of "Should be" and "Reality"
This would be awesome. Simply set up a web page where people can donate to help you carry out your messianic duties, sit back, and collect a shit load of cash.
It would be no worse than what the fifty churches in my town do. Plus instead of using the money for purely evil reasons you could do the world favor and donate it to the ACLU, Richard Dawkins Foundation For Reason and Science, the Reason Project, or cancer research. There are a millions things that could be done with that money, after taking a hefty sum for yourself, of course.
To kill someone is to render them neutral for their carnal desires that induce the world to be sinful.
The greater question is even the same as the messiah has done, how would we kill someone without causing ill-will to them? How would we know that the jews were forgiven from killing the messiah, because as is to Kaan/Cohen that whomever curses we are to bless. Redemption is in the hands of whomever is thought offended, yet to offend messiah is impossible because he is at war against principles of darkness that evil spirit.
When messiah was crucified to death for only a moment, it was enough to dip into hell to save those that abode only in Torah with the promise of messiah to save them. The conclusion the Son of Man is to have, to offer up three offerings (Ewe, Lamb, and Ram) to fulfill his oath and here we would see Jesus the Christ and two others liften in the air crucified before the doors of Heaven to fulfill his oath at the perverted hands of jews that knew they would be blessed for their malcontent.
As a Muslim, I am fond of quoting from Hadiths (the authenticated sayings of the Prophet Muhammad) and also from the Quran in daily life. Funnily enough, I get the same vibe when you, the AC, quoted all these sayings by famous Atheists or agnostics. I think it is time that evangelical Atheists (as opposed to real atheists who unobtrusively go about their business) accept the fact that they are members of the Church of the god Null and are no different that Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists etc. in their zeal to preach the one true faith.
But yeah, I thought the same thing too. "Blessed is he who pays my electricity bill this month!"
Live gives you lemons, make lemonade. I've always been that kind of a guy.
Weaselmancer
rediculous.
Being the Messiah, he's not the sort of fellow who would do that sort of thing! That's why he's the Messiah and you're not!
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
"Atheism is a religion in the same way that not collecting stamps is a hobby."
Sorry Stephen, but:
Thessalonians 3:10 (New International Version)
10 For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat."
Raj Patel’s life story does not at all “tick all the boxes necessary to fulfill prophecies made by Benjamin Creme”.
According to Creme, the world teacher, unlike Mr. Patel, was NOT borne in London, neither in 1972 nor in any other year, but came from Pakistan to the UK in 1975, already as a grown up man.
For people correctly knowing Benjamin Creme’s information, this is enough to be sure that Mr. Patel could not possibly Maitreya, the world teacher. It is, therefore, highly unlikely that it were they who produced this hoax.
Apart from this, the concerns of Mr. Patel on the issues of world poverty are shared by Maitreya. He will call on humanity to end starvation, and to make sure that everybody will have access to proper health care, proper education and proper housing. These, his first priorities, are not those of ‘a religious sect’, (the people supporting Creme are not organized in anything like it).
If you care to look for yourself rather than to read rumours:
http://www.share-international.org/
Miranda Bles
I've just had a look at this Share International Website about Maitreya, and was surprised to find that Raj Patel didn't meet ANY of the criteria for Creme's Prophesies.?
For a starter - This Maitreya fella flew from Pakistan to London in 1977 as a fully grown adult, not from India as a 5 year old like Patel. Looks like a media beat-up.
That was Paul, not Jesus. And, I've never trusted Paul. His version of Christianity seems unlike that espoused by Jesus.
The more people I meet, the better I like my dog.
This is just one of those funny situations that seems whatever he tries to do to not be the messiah aforementioned, he makes it worse because it was prophesied (in a very silly manner) that he would try to deny any of it. So by denying it, he makes it worse, and so on, instead I would have made myself their king and told them i need as much gold as i could get my hands that they need to find for me, to build my spaceship, and once i got enough gold to retire, would move to the cayman islands....but that is just me.
...which, not being attributed to Jesus but rather to the nutcase known as Saul or Paul, who didn't even know the guy, 1) does not contradict my statement, and 2) if genuine (some scholars doubt the attribution of this letter), is a fine example of how J's teachings were being perverted within a few decades of his death.
Tom Swiss | the infamous tms | my blog
You cannot wash away blood with blood
If anyone ever asks you if you are a God, say YES! (The same is true for messiahood.)
Then demand free sex and being fed and all, or the world will go down in flames! Word! :)
And remember: You can be as nasty as you like. As long as it’s legal. ^^
Because, maybe you will cure a few of them from their delusions that way.
Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.