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Endangered Species Condoms

Posted by samzenpus on from the make-it-growl dept.

The Center for Biological Diversity wants to help put a polar bear in your pants with their endangered species condom campaign. They hope that giving away 100,000 free Endangered Species Condoms across the country will highlight how unsustainable human population growth is driving species to extinction, and instill the sexual prowess of the coquí guajón rock frog, nature's most passionate lover, in the condom users. From the article: "To help people understand the impact of overpopulation on other species, and to give them a chance to take action in their own lives, the Center is distributing free packets of Endangered Species Condoms depicting six separate species: the polar bear, snail darter, spotted owl, American burying beetle, jaguar, and coquí guajón rock frog."

61 comments

  1. Someone didn't think this through.... by mrsteveman1 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Won't these species just become extinct if they can't successfully reproduce?

    1. Re:Someone didn't think this through.... by tomhudson · · Score: 3, Insightful

      That's why they're announcing it on slashdot - the one place they can test trial on an endangered species without causing any real reduction in reproductive options.

    2. Re:Someone didn't think this through.... by Locke2005 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Not likely... you ever try putting a condom on an American burying beetle? I tried for hours, but eventually just gave up and let the little bugger have unprotected sex. Man, sometimes I can't even tell the male beetles from the female ones.

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    3. Re:Someone didn't think this through.... by Gerzel · · Score: 1

      No. The Right-Wingnuts are correct in that distributing condoms causes teen pregnancy. It works across species too.

    4. Re:Someone didn't think this through.... by insufflate10mg · · Score: 0

      I hope this post does get modded off-topic and redundant. Not only is it pointless, but you are too cowardly to put your name to your words so you must hide behind anonymity.

    5. Re:Someone didn't think this through.... by Coren22 · · Score: 1

      The statements are equally true, to me that means that they are all just as false. :)

      --
      APK likes to ask for responses to the same things over and over. Maybe he just likes the responses?
    6. Re:Someone didn't think this through.... by Shakrai · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Man, sometimes I can't even tell the male beetles from the female ones.

      That's easy. Half the male beetles are living in a basement reading /., while the other half hand over their credit cards to the female beetles. All the female beetles are trying on shoes.

      --
      I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
      We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
    7. Re:Someone didn't think this through.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I hope this post does get modded off-topic and redundant. Not only is it pointless, but you are too cowardly to put your name to your words so you must hide behind anonymity.

      Thanks for your contribution, Insufflate10mg. That handle identifies you personally, and truly narrows down the number of internet users who could potentially have chosen the name "insufflate10mg". Specifically, it narrows it down to anyone with internet access and a web browser. I am glad you are working so hard to put your identity to your words. Those of us who post as "Anonymous Coward" will never know the great courage of posting as "insufflate10mg" instead. You, sir, are truly valiant and your argument is totally original and is not easily defeated at all. Yup.

      Just curious, what are you snorting 10mg of?

    8. Re:Someone didn't think this through.... by Optali · · Score: 1

      Well, yes, specially if they put condoms on their thingies!

      --
      -- 29A the number of the Beast
  2. These'll look great on my collectibles shelf by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Hell knows I'll have no reason to use them.

  3. Oh, anything we can do to help by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I bet they can raise even more money by making the condoms out of endangered species.

    1. Re:Oh, anything we can do to help by zerosomething · · Score: 1

      There you go. Make them from the foreskins of sperm whales. Kind of like lamb skin condoms and avoids all that latex allergy stuff too.

      --
      It all starts at 0
    2. Re:Oh, anything we can do to help by Gerzel · · Score: 2, Informative

      Oh no that would be carefully cleaned off. The smegma costs extra and will mostly be imported to Japan.

    3. Re:Oh, anything we can do to help by Shakrai · · Score: 2

      You just ruined the sushi dinner I planned on having later tonight.....

      --
      I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
      We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
  4. Any real stories today? by commodore64_love · · Score: 1

    ???. Or has the tech industry taken time off? No really, I'm serious. Jokes are cool but so are things like:

    Obama announces plans to give Medicare funds to Kaiser-Permanente for Digitizing Medical Records

    --
    "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - historian Evelyn Beatrice Hall
    1. Re:Any real stories today? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      No kidding. I don't trust anything at all on here today. It hasn't seemed this bad since the late 90s.

    2. Re:Any real stories today? by commodore64_love · · Score: 1

      "Cmon. Everyone knows the best years were 1990 and earlier. You, sir, have demonstrated you are a putz." - Simpsons comic store guy

      --
      "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - historian Evelyn Beatrice Hall
    3. Re:Any real stories today? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ???. Or has the tech industry taken time off? No really, I'm serious. Jokes are cool but so are things like:

      Obama announces plans to give Medicare funds to Kaiser-Permanente for Digitizing Medical Records

      Huh? Are you saying that Obama's Medicare announcements are in some way connected to the tech industry?

      (/me dislikes seeing political stories on /. anyway, but that's a whole other discussion)

    4. Re:Any real stories today? by choongiri · · Score: 1

      Huh? Are you saying that Obama's Medicare announcements are in some way connected to the tech industry?

      Digitizing Medical Records. Think about it.

    5. Re:Any real stories today? by insufflate10mg · · Score: 1

      Why do people keep saying this? An April Fool's Joke is something benevolent and many times obvious. What would make this story a good April Fool's Joke? What would make basically any other story posted so far today a good April Fool's Joke? April Fool's Day is supposed to be funny, not just a day where paranoid nerds suspect every news story of randomly being false.

  5. Do not want. by Locke2005 · · Score: 2, Funny

    I tried these; couldn't see the picture. Apparently you have to unroll them a lot farther than I do...

    --
    I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    1. Re:Do not want. by Shakrai · · Score: 1

      Your sig just gave me a great idea for the next time a female insists that I use a condom ;)

      --
      I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
      We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
    2. Re:Do not want. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I tried these; couldn't see the picture. Apparently you have to unroll them a lot farther than I do...

      Perhaps one should forgo the Polar Bear and use the teeny tiny one for the little burrowing beetle...or that amorous frog one. Or if you were really intent on the Polar Bear, perhaps you could stuff it, as girls like to do with their bras....perhaps they could put the Polar Bear stamp on a nice hunk of silicone and sell them as a set!! This could end badly...

    3. Re:Do not want. by treeves · · Score: 1

      The one-eyed python condom would be pretty cool, though.

      --
      ...the future crusty old bastards are already drinking the Kool-Aid.
  6. Awesome for extinction fetishists by Chris+Burke · · Score: 1

    This is great for them since the Endangered Species Act specifically prohibits shoving an endangered animal into bodily orifices.

    --

    The enemies of Democracy are
    1. Re:Awesome for extinction fetishists by Locke2005 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Only if you're doing it to smuggle them across international borders. Recreational use is not specifically prohibited.

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    2. Re:Awesome for extinction fetishists by Chris+Burke · · Score: 1

      Oh see I never thought of doing that for any reason but recreational which is why I was confused. When I want to smuggle an endangered animal, I just pretend it's a hat.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    3. Re:Awesome for extinction fetishists by Hognoxious · · Score: 1

      Win-win - it pleases the abstinence advocates too!

      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
    4. Re:Awesome for extinction fetishists by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That raises the question ... if you're going to use a polar bear as a hat, where exactly does your head go?

    5. Re:Awesome for extinction fetishists by Locke2005 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Hint: you have to move the tail out of the way before putting it on. And when you meet people on the street, the bear will inevitably say "Would you believe it started out as just a mole on my butt!", which is really annoying.

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
  7. For those worried about the flavored part by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The flavors in these condoms do not use extracts from any of the endangered species, and are merely flavored with a delightful smoked turkey extract.

  8. real men..... by tverbeek · · Score: 1, Funny

    A real man would insist on condoms actually made from the tissues of the endangered animals (a la "lambskin" condoms)!

    --
    http://alternatives.rzero.com/
    1. Re:real men..... by Locke2005 · · Score: 1

      Real men don't use condoms. Ever. Chuck Norris just rids himself of STDs with a roundhouse kick. And believe me, you don't wanna know what he does about unwanted pregnancies!

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    2. Re:real men..... by blackC0pter · · Score: 2, Insightful

      And here comes the marketing slogan, "gotta wear them all!" With just over 10,000 endangered species, I can't imagine how that could go wrong...

      http://www.earthsendangered.com/list.asp

  9. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 0

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  10. Not polar bears in these pants... by a-zarkon! · · Score: 1

    We've got armadillos in our trousers! (Armadillos in danger of extinction? I doubt it, though they are leprous little buggers... http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1306/is-it-true-that-armadillos-carry-leprosy

  11. Re:Fuck that by Ibiwan · · Score: 2, Funny

    Sorry, but fuck the polar bear

    You DID catch the part where they're condoms, right?

    --
    -- //no comment
  12. On behalf of all of /. I ask the following query by spleen_blender · · Score: 1

    What the hell is a "condom" and why should we care?

  13. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 2, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  14. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  15. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  16. I like the slogans by Megahard · · Score: 1

    Reminds me of the suggestions for National Condom Week.

    --
    I eat only the real part of complex carbohydrates.
  17. Re:Endangered Woodpecker self-vasectomy kit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Someone in PETA has balls?

  18. Re:Fuck that by sourcerror · · Score: 2, Interesting

    The problem is, that not everybody would get a polar bear, because there aren't enough of them.

  19. In the year 2010 by northernfrights · · Score: 1

    It is nearly impossible to differentiate between April Fools jokes, and actual news. I find this to be rather disturbing...

  20. Re:Endangered Woodpecker self-vasectomy kit by Coren22 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    The "women" in PETA do.

    --
    APK likes to ask for responses to the same things over and over. Maybe he just likes the responses?
  21. Ridiculous by Dunbal · · Score: 1

    Obviously they have no idea of what their target market is. Anyone interested in endangered species is probably nerdy and thus has no use for a condom - they get in the way of masturbation.

    Perhaps "pro football" or "pro wrestling" or "NASCAR" condoms would sell better...

    --
    Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
  22. Didn't read TFA by PPH · · Score: 1

    and wondered about the title...

    • Isn't putting condoms on endangered species just going to make the problem worse?
    • OK. Who is going to volunteer to slip that sucker on the polar bear?
    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  23. That's nothing! by PopeRatzo · · Score: 1

    wants to help put a polar bear in your pants

    The python that's already there would have to make some room.

    --
    You are welcome on my lawn.
    1. Re:That's nothing! by archangel9 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Just tell your boyfriend to back out slowly.

  24. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  25. Put the blame in the right place! by twitcher101 · · Score: 1

    The center is known for some level of hysterics (but also raising public awareness), and this is a case of hysterics. The problem is not population growth, the problem is overconsumption. The places in the world where population is growing tend to consume about 1/40th of the resources of the average person in the US. So until the population of India hits 12 Billion, I am more worried about resource waste in the first world (which tends to have shrinking populations) than population growth in the third world.

    --
    Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so- Zaphod beeblebrox
  26. How boring by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It is international "don't believe anything you read on the internet today" day. Let it go guys. It stopped being amusing years ago. I say amusing, because it was never actually 'funny'. April 1st is now the day that I dread sorting through my RSS feeds for real news.

  27. Oh Boy by multipartmixed · · Score: 1

    I hope pythons are endangered

    Nothing else would fit! :D

    --

    Do daemons dream of electric sleep()?
  28. Options by joeslugg · · Score: 1

    depicting six separate species: the polar bear, snail darter, spotted owl, American burying beetle, jaguar, and coquí guajón rock frog.

    What? No 'Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka'?

    (Look out! He's coming right at us!!)

  29. recycle by Dare+nMc · · Score: 3, Funny

    Don't forget to recycle, and re-use these condoms.

    (something comes to mind about how to recycle a condom: "you just have to shake the f*ck out of it")

  30. Population control by inkrypted · · Score: 1

    Forget the condoms lets just have a moron hunting season we could use the people who actually thought this was real news.

    --
    Chris Sheppard
  31. A serious and intelligent initiative by Optali · · Score: 1

    That's it, a serious and very insightful campaign. I just can say one thing: WTF ? I mean, wtf guys? Can you imagine? It can totally KILL a hot night. There you are, you finally got the date with that super-hot chocolate chick of your dreams... she strips for you, you feel you are melting... she wants action, your weapon is ready, she takes the rubber, places it on your missile and pulls... and: "Oh darling, it's a real problem whit the ice bears, I agree that we have to do soemthing about it, you know. I've read that the populations are shrinking at an alarming 2,5% per year and that... " SRSLY, that can totality ruin it. No way I'm going to buy them.

    --
    -- 29A the number of the Beast
  32. Dear Mother Earth by brisvegasdan · · Score: 1

    ..we're rooting for you!

    --
    Brisbane Aikido Republic
  33. What about the trees? by Terminus32 · · Score: 0

    To make rubber....?
    Surely condoms consume our planet's resources.

    And not eating meat does more to save animals! :-)

    I don't wear condoms...I don't believe they're right.
    My and my girlfriend are expecting our first baby together...find one right partner and participate in the DNA program! :-P

    --
    http://nathanlindsell.blogspot.com/