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Oil Leak Could Be Stopped With a Nuke
An anonymous reader writes "The oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico could be stopped with an underground nuclear blast, a Russian newspaper reports. Komsomoloskaya Pravda, the best-selling Russian daily, reports that in Soviet times such leaks were plugged with controlled nuclear blasts underground. The idea is simple, KP writes: 'The underground explosion moves the rock, presses on it, and, in essence, squeezes the well's channel.' It's so simple, in fact, that the Soviet Union used this method five times to deal with petrocalamities, and it only didn't work once."
I don't think we have any orbital nukes. We would have to nuke it from orbit, as it's the only way to be sure.
Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
What problems can't a nuclear explosion solve?
What doesn't kill you only delays the inevitable
...it's that any and all natural disasters can be stopped by the liberal use of nuclear weapons.
I'm trying to figure out which part of this story is the scariest.
... that someone has suggested setting off an underground nuke to close an oil well?
... finding out that the Soviets did this all the time?
... finding out that the USSR was so careless they had six "petrocalamities" worth trying this trick on?
... finding out that there's an actual word for an oil accident of this size?
Duct tape can solve almost anything. I think they need to look into this a bit ... plus its very inexpensive
Back in the late eighties, when the world was turned upside down by the fall of the iron curtain. my friends and I speculated that the fact that Reagan had survived assassination* had torn a hole in reality, thrusting us into a Bizarro Universe.
Now we have Russians suggesting something that only would make sense in a really bad TV movie or potboiler eco-disaster novel.
Like the man uptopic says, what could possibly go wrong?
We're there, man.
Stefan
* Schoolyard mythology: presidents elected in years ending in 0 always died in office.
The Gulf of Mexican? Honestly? I mean come on...
a handful of selfish greedy people are no match for millions of selfish, greedy people -u4ya
As a pyromaniac extraordinaire I fully endorse this under one condition:
That a TON of high speed camera footage is available at no charge to me later. Outside of that I'm sold.
We should start a new Slashdot and return control to the geeks. It actually wouldn't be that hard to get some users to
Was if they had used Chuck Norris to punch the well dry it would have caused massive earthquakes all over the world making what was shown in the movie 2012 looks like a grabage truck passing by.
Tsukasa: All I really want, is to be left alone...
So in the US, controlled underground nuclear blasts would be plugged with oil leaks?
I got a jar I can't get open. Would you happen by chance to have a 20 KT warhead on hand?
What was their alternative?
Well, they were about to try the concrete dome aproach, but the germans refused to get under it. Aparently the cheese piece wasn't big enough or something.
This is just an excuse to Nuke the Whales.
Dewey, you fool! Your decimal system has played right into my hands!
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Jesus, have you tried Russian cheese? Forget about it. They should just have used their vodka, god forbid I know.
Hey, if Pravda says it, it must be completely true!
I am officially gone from
That's what first comes to your mind when you hear about nuclear explosions on the bottom of the ocean? Waves?
What about wakin' the motherfuckin' Cthulhu man? YEAH!
I guess you feel really silly right about now.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Misread that as "Russian Chinese [food]".
Had some Russian Thai food near Ocean City, MD, (Russians comprise most of the seasonal labor force there for some reason). Very confused and weak.
... Thus solving two problems! This is sounding better all the time!
Chelloveck
I give up on debugging. From now on, SIGSEGV is a feature.
The mistake was using cheese for bait. They should have used beer and brats.
"Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives" should be a convenience store, not a government agency.
What was their alternative?
Well, the Russian soldiers alternatives were -
Get shot for certain by your commanding officer if you didn't fight
Or, probably get shot by the Germans if you did.
That kind of motivation beats a draft any day!
"But this one goes to 11!"
Agh!
you know nothing of trapping a German..
Sauerbraten, a huge glass of Weizenbock, and a Kuchen.
Even Diter would be tempted....
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
but hells gate is a tourist attraction they make a killing on smores and marshmallows ever year
We got lucky back then, let's keep pushing our luck.
Until he fukin' WAKES UP!
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Some of us have the nice license on our walls allowing us to explode things ... it is a nice license to have (and there are, of course, restrictions on its use).
In Soviet Russia the globe warms you!
Fred
Well, I guess Hitler thought that he had classic blunder #1 canceled out by #2. If I remember right, he thought that he had essentially gotten the Russians to go against a Sicilian (not directly, but they were allies) when death was on the line... Too bad Benito was northern Italian...
that would only capture wisconsinites
For some reason reading this article made me think about the SNL commercial parody for Bad Idea Jeans.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/10310/saturday-night-live-bad-idea-jeans
"Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the f-ing Peace Corps." - John 'Bluto' Blutarsky
I'd be more worried about the giant radioactive iguanas. Let's try to keep our priorities straight.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Now this is the way to go fishing in the south.
Just line up the fish trawlers on one side of the Gulf and start scooping them off of the surface.
Fishing industry gets a bonanza and we seal a leak.
Oh, heck. Just drop a 48 tons of Creole seasoning in before the blast with a few hundred tons of corn and potatoes and we're done. We can just skip all the fisheries and just wait for dinner to come ashore.
But, I'll have to remember this next time we go fishing.
"No, sir mister warden. We weren't fishing with dynamite, we were just trying to plug an oil leak in the bottom of the pond"
... and Greece stopped them with only 300 men.
Intron: the portion of DNA which expresses nothing useful.
Actually, the single entity responsible for the outcome of the war was Archimedes. He used his death ray to take out large numbers of German ships in the harbor at Syracuse, thus singlehandedly reducing the size of the Roman navy below what was necessary to sustain an attack! @ ^*\/.NO CARRIER
SIGSEGV caught, terminating
wait... not that kind of sig.
Wow. You dated Tank Girl -- I'm duly impressed. ;-)
Lost at C:>. Found at C.
Even the Greek army? I think not.
"the Soviet Union used this method five times to deal with petrocalamities, and it only didn't work once."
I think the lesson that can be learned here is that you need to use 5 nukes all at the same time to guarantee success.
You know, just to be sure.
You see, Killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them, until they reached their limit and shut down. - Zapp Brannigan
It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
... and Greece stopped them with only 300 men.
That's....just........brilliant.
Somebody better mod parent "informative" and send me a new coffee/keyboard combo.
That's what she said!