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North Korea Announces Achieving Nuclear Fusion
aftertaf writes "North Korea claims to have achieved nuclear fusion by building what it describes as a 'unique thermo-nuclear reaction device.' This announcement was met by skepticism on just about every news website this side of Saturn. Pyongyang claims its latest scientific breakthrough coincides with the birthday of the country's founder and eternal president Kim Il-sung. This is not the first time it seems that the laws of nature have been bent in his honor. According to official biographies, when his son, Kim Jong-il, was born, a new star appeared in the sky." No doubt the Dear Leader combined the atomic nuclei by hand.
The mothers of both Martin Fleischmann and Stanley Pons received Mother's Day card from their sons postmarked Pyongyang.
This ain't rocket surgery.
Always impersonating that guy from MAD TV??
We know North Korea hasn't released any very hot vaporware lately, so obviously they've perfected Cold Fusion!
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
It was actually an American spy satellite parked in geosynchronous orbit over North Korea. Wave for the cameras, Kim!
!#@%*)anks for hanging up the phone, dear.
You could build the equipment yourself.
Getting more energy out of fusion than you put in... that's the hard part.
How can I believe you when you tell me what I don't want to hear?
In North Korea, anything is possible.
In other news, power in Pyongyang will only be available from 5:00 - 7:00 PM this week in celebration of the achievement.
Comment of the year
No doubt that he is small enough to have done it.
I figured he would have took credit for creating fusion when that new star appeared when his son was born.
In 1949 one of the several nazi leaders that fled to Argentina claimed to have achieved nuclear fussion. The president, a fascist who welcomed Mengele and Eichman, was not stupid, and a couple of months later he called a group of argentinian scientists back from europe to open an investigation, which led to the end of the project and the beginning of real atomic research.
In soviet russia the government regulates the companies.
I thought the dear leader was busy flying fighter jets, memorizing phone books, breaking golf records, and leading the NBA in rebounding.
If he can do nuclear fusion as well, then perhaps his talents truly are limitless.
Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
>> This announcement was met by skepticism on just about every news website this side of Saturn.
Sure! Make it sound like we on the other side of Saturn will believe anything. That's planetism sir!
For some reason I can't help but think that it would be hilarious and kind of scary if everyone chuckles a bit at this and in a couple of months news reports come in saying that for some strange reason the long-running North Korean energy crisis seems to have been solved...
Greylisting is to SMTP as NAT is to IPv4
The breakthrough was made with a hammer and a small amount of nitroglycerin. The reaction released a great deal of energy and as soon as they can aford a new hammer they hope to continue testing.
. . . eat and drink enough of that, and your breath can cause nuclear fusion.
. . . and you don't even want to know about "The Day After" . . .
. . . that picture is not a fake . . . Mr. Kim has just "let one rip" . . .
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
I don't seem to remember many examples when the lack of "clean cheap bountiful energy" stopped people from breeding...
One that hath name thou can not otter
They'd have to figure out how to grow food first.
In ancient Greece and Rome, it wasn't unusual for someone to claim either that a new star appeared in the sky to herald a great person's birth or that they became a star following their death. This latter claim is known as catasterism and was pretty popular from the time of the Hellenistic kings to the Julio-Claudian dynasty at Rome.
Catasterism is a frequent subject on coin portraits, with a star positioned about the portrait of the ruler. There is a very famous series of coins depicting Augustus fastening a star above the head of Marcellus, the man he had hoped would succeed him.
Of course the import of all of this is that, as with so much else, North Korea is about 2,000 years behind the times.
Actually, North Korea has already done an amazing job of keeping down energy use. By restricting electricity to a handful of elites and starving everyone else, they've been able to reduce their carbon footprint to almost nothing. Just look at the results. Glorious leader has produced a much more efficient country than that wasteful South Korea!
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
They *laughed* when I said my Christmas decorations would wow them this year!
Please do not read this sig. Thank you.
Actually, in NK it's "Word To Your Motherland."
Mod me down, my New Earth Global Warmingist friends!
Just out of curiosity, what part of "No peasants are starving, our economy is great, everyone else in the world envies/fears us, and by the way we just perfected nuclear fusion!" is a *mild* hallucination?
Upon consultation with actual Koreans, it turns out that the original press release said that North Korea had "nuked a Frusion".
The BBC apologizes for this error.
How could we doubt someone with sunglasses that are so cool?
For every problem, there is at least one solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
I call it H-BOMB
It's fusion alright.
They've managed to fuse horseshit with bullshit, and now they're feeding it to the starving masses!
I wrote my first program at the age of six, and I still can't work out how this website works.
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
A few years ago N Korea detonated a gigantic explosion that it claimed was nuclear (fission). Now it's claiming controlled fusion.
These claims are impossible to believe, since N Korea lies about so much. But it did demonstrate a gigantic explosion. What in fact is going on there in N Korea?
--
make install -not war
Of course, that would make it a bit too conspicuous to be a good spy satellite.
In addition, even the ultra-high-resolution cameras in spy satellites would probably not be of that much use from geostationary orbit (GEO), since GEO is very far away (~36,000 km). Spy satellites are likely put in a polar Low Earth Orbit (LEO) at approx. 200 km altitude. This gives much more detailed images, and also allows the satellite to cover the entire Earth without spending any fuel.
I know this is going to offend some people, but since most of the mythology around Jesus Christ is already borrowed from other mythological traditions, I expect that this is the origin of the Star of Bethlehem that is supposed to have appeared over Joshua Bar Joseph's birthplace when he was born. It would make sense for early Christians to have borrowed this story as well if it would help make their religion more popular with the Romano-Graecian population in the near east.
"The first time I got drunk, I got married. The second time I bought a chimpanzee, after that I stayed sober" Arian Seid
Note that experimenters have built Tokamaks and achieved fusion. Fusion is easy. Getting more power out than is put in is difficult.
I think he missed a few words in there, but what he meant was:
Overpopulation is a pretext for racists to advocate “population control” whereby they hope to address the poverty that breeds itself, particular in certain segments of the population who cannot seem to keep their legs closed. This is all supported with arguments such as follows:
Aww, hell. I’m forgetting where I am. I should’ve just said she was strongly against masturbation...
Now most of Slashdot will be up in arms, I’m sure.
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
Uhm, a crime against all sentient life in the Universe?
Ezekiel 23:20
The second-most popular Christmas story after Santa Claus was nonsense PR spin?
Gee, why leave it half done? Got any gay porn starring Mohammed you'd like to post? :-)
He put his boots up on the table and made a face. "The sig," he smirked. "You can waste your life in search of the sig."
The design uses Duke Nukem Forever as an operating system..
Or, perhaps God planned it on purpose exactly like that, so that the “magi from the East” would recognise Jesus’ birth and come to worship him, fulfilling prophecies such as Isaiah 60:3.
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
(Obviously, he would have used a sign that pagan astrologers would recognise as the birth of a king. Hence, the star.)
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
Actually...
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
As all universe obeys Beloved Leader, atoms fused, creating clean, pure energy with no neutrons, no MSG, and no trans-fats.
Wonderful new creation for used in distillation of brandy.
-- babelfish from Nut Korean World News
if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
Why did God make the half-lives of U-238 and U-235 just so?
Stick Men
Why did you feel it necessary to bring up a completely unrelated topic just to mock my belief in God?
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
I thought you were joking about god deliberately putting the star there for the benefit of the pagan astrologers. Sorry.
Stick Men
Dear North Korea
please invest your time an energy in this new science but don't take any safety precautions, because hopefully you will destroy yoursleves and in the process set of a elctromagnetic pulse that will fry your electronics in all, please continue so we can watch you destroy yourselves, and give a reason for us to destroy your. making you a threat to the world giving everyone a reason to blow you to kingdom come.
yours sincerely,
Game Crusader
No, actually I was serious.
Isa. 60 is a passage which is a messianic prophecy. Like many messianic prophecies from the Old Testament, it does not clearly differentiate between the first coming of Jesus as a baby and his return in glory and his reign as predicted in Revelation, but it’s not too difficult to see where it switches over. Verses 1-3 refer to his birth:
The magi, or kings, who came from the East, are considered by some to be a fulfillment of the prophecy in that last verse.
Like I said elsewhere... I’m not offended by his theory, but I do think it is incorrect, and I figured I might as well post an alternate theory from a Christian perspective. Take it for whatever you feel it’s worth.
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.