North Korea Announces Achieving Nuclear Fusion

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North Korea Announces Achieving Nuclear Fusion

Posted by samzenpus on Wednesday May 12, 2010 @05:36AM from the kim-jong-illin dept.

aftertaf writes "North Korea claims to have achieved nuclear fusion by building what it describes as a 'unique thermo-nuclear reaction device.' This announcement was met by skepticism on just about every news website this side of Saturn. Pyongyang claims its latest scientific breakthrough coincides with the birthday of the country's founder and eternal president Kim Il-sung. This is not the first time it seems that the laws of nature have been bent in his honor. According to official biographies, when his son, Kim Jong-il, was born, a new star appeared in the sky." No doubt the Dear Leader combined the atomic nuclei by hand.

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Why is Kim Jong IL... by Erythros · 2010-05-12 05:39 · Score: 4, Funny

Always impersonating that guy from MAD TV??
Not a star ... by PhxBlue · 2010-05-12 05:41 · Score: 4, Funny

It was actually an American spy satellite parked in geosynchronous orbit over North Korea. Wave for the cameras, Kim!

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1. Re:Not a star ... by Anonymous Coward · 2010-05-12 06:20 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  ROR!!!
Fusion isn't hard. by pushing-robot · 2010-05-12 05:41 · Score: 5, Informative

You could build the equipment yourself.
Getting more energy out of fusion than you put in... that's the hard part.

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How can I believe you when you tell me what I don't want to hear?
1. Re:Fusion isn't hard. by bill_mcgonigle · 2010-05-12 05:56 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  This was my thought--so what if they did? We did it more than 50 years ago, the Teller-Ulam designed warhead dates to 1951. Fusing two atoms is trivial.
  Hey, let's not burden the journalists with dry facts.
  
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2. Re:Fusion isn't hard. by RsG · 2010-05-12 06:05 · Score: 4, Interesting
  
  it just takes a fission to get the fuse lit...
  Not even. Read the GP's wiki link for a description of a "Farnsworth fusor" (not the Farnsworth you're thinking of, but rather his namesake). Making fusion reactions occur is trivially easy, to the point where there exists at least one hobbyist who's made a fusor in his basement. Betcha that's what NK has built, and the claim of it being a "unique thermo-nuclear reaction device" was likely tacked on by some lackey in the propaganda department. Again, old news in the fusion world, as fusors aren't useful for much other than proof of concept.
  Getting a net gain in energy with a fusion reaction? Hard. The only way we've done it to date is in a thermonuclear warhead, and I guarantee Pyongyang doesn't have one of those yet, since they've had enough trouble getting basic fission bombs built.
  
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  Erotic is when you use a feather. Exotic is when you use the whole chicken.
3. Re:Fusion isn't hard. by JoshuaZ · 2010-05-12 06:29 · Score: 4, Interesting
  
  Fusors actually do have practical uses. Fusors have been used commercially as a compact neutron source that can be turned on or off easily. Note that the other commercial neutron sources of a similar sort actually also use fusion. They work by using a linear accelerator to collide deuterium and tritium.
4. Re:Fusion isn't hard. by Hal_Porter · 2010-05-12 06:35 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Your stupid Earth mind cannot conceive power of Kim Il Sung Juche Physics.
  Unless you send FIVE (5) million tonnes of rice, TEN POINT TWO (10.2) million tonnes of kimchi, FIFTY FOUR POINT SIX (54.6) million tonnes of ramen now you will be destroyed by my Solanite bombs.
  
  --
  echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
5. Re:Fusion isn't hard. by nizo · 2010-05-12 06:36 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Actually at the next press announcement they are going to show the actual device, but they have to wait for it to rise first.
  
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  I Am My Own Worst Enemy
6. Re:Fusion isn't hard. by RsG · 2010-05-12 06:41 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  Nah, they wouldn't be that subtle. Recall that they made a big fuss over "we have the bomb now", only to have their first actual test detonation fizzle.
  Besides, if they were testing H-bombs, there would be third party confirmation. They cannot set off a nuke, never mind a big nuke, without setting off seismic detectors from India to California.
  
  --
  Erotic is when you use a feather. Exotic is when you use the whole chicken.
7. Re:Fusion isn't hard. by WNight · 2010-05-12 08:54 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  HELLO
  We name is PRINCE WUNDAI, my family is ONE OF the largest farmer in Nigeria. Father was captured by Warlord who is trying to steal our family fortune. To secure our family, decided we are to looking for a country we can trust to help us smuggle the grain to a safe location.
  We picked your country, NORTH KOREA, because of your honest reputation. We'd like to offer you 50% (HALF) of the grain for your help in securing the rest against warlords and USA aggression.
  The grain is packed on ships, waiting on the name of a port to deliver it to.
  We need only small bribes for the Somalian pirates to let our ships pass, and we will be on our way.
  Please help us, KIM JONG IL
Duke Nukem Forever Released by Anonymous Coward · 2010-05-12 05:42 · Score: 5, Funny

In North Korea, anything is possible.
In other news... by Blakey+Rat · 2010-05-12 05:42 · Score: 5, Funny

In other news, power in Pyongyang will only be available from 5:00 - 7:00 PM this week in celebration of the achievement.

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Comment of the year
1. Re:In other news... by Spaham · 2010-05-12 06:41 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  you mean : in celebration of the achievement, power WILL be available from 5:00 - 7:00 PM this week !!
He is small enough to do it. by ad454 · 2010-05-12 05:43 · Score: 5, Funny

No doubt the Dear Leader combined the atomic nuclei by hand.
No doubt that he is small enough to have done it.
Doesn't the star count by SloWave · 2010-05-12 05:45 · Score: 5, Funny

I figured he would have took credit for creating fusion when that new star appeared when his son was born.
Don't Discriminate! by notommy · 2010-05-12 05:46 · Score: 5, Funny

>> This announcement was met by skepticism on just about every news website this side of Saturn.
Sure! Make it sound like we on the other side of Saturn will believe anything. That's planetism sir!
What if.. by mikael_j · 2010-05-12 05:49 · Score: 4, Interesting

For some reason I can't help but think that it would be hilarious and kind of scary if everyone chuckles a bit at this and in a couple of months news reports come in saying that for some strange reason the long-running North Korean energy crisis seems to have been solved...

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Re:Now a credible threat to the west. by AndersOSU · 2010-05-12 05:59 · Score: 4, Funny

They'd have to figure out how to grow food first.
Star at birth by schmidt349 · 2010-05-12 06:02 · Score: 5, Interesting

In ancient Greece and Rome, it wasn't unusual for someone to claim either that a new star appeared in the sky to herald a great person's birth or that they became a star following their death. This latter claim is known as catasterism and was pretty popular from the time of the Hellenistic kings to the Julio-Claudian dynasty at Rome.
Catasterism is a frequent subject on coin portraits, with a star positioned about the portrait of the ruler. There is a very famous series of coins depicting Augustus fastening a star above the head of Marcellus, the man he had hoped would succeed him.
Of course the import of all of this is that, as with so much else, North Korea is about 2,000 years behind the times.
North Korean energy solution by elrous0 · 2010-05-12 06:10 · Score: 5, Funny

Actually, North Korea has already done an amazing job of keeping down energy use. By restricting electricity to a handful of elites and starving everyone else, they've been able to reduce their carbon footprint to almost nothing. Just look at the results. Glorious leader has produced a much more efficient country than that wasteful South Korea!

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SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Corrigendum by blair1q · 2010-05-12 06:30 · Score: 4, Funny

Upon consultation with actual Koreans, it turns out that the original press release said that North Korea had "nuked a Frusion".
The BBC apologizes for this error.
Re:Thus the star over Bethlehem then by Phrogman · 2010-05-12 07:17 · Score: 4, Interesting

I know this is going to offend some people, but since most of the mythology around Jesus Christ is already borrowed from other mythological traditions, I expect that this is the origin of the Star of Bethlehem that is supposed to have appeared over Joshua Bar Joseph's birthplace when he was born. It would make sense for early Christians to have borrowed this story as well if it would help make their religion more popular with the Romano-Graecian population in the near east.

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"The first time I got drunk, I got married. The second time I bought a chimpanzee, after that I stayed sober" Arian Seid
Fusion is easy. by Futurepower(R) · 2010-05-12 08:02 · Score: 4, Informative

Note that experimenters have built Tokamaks and achieved fusion. Fusion is easy. Getting more power out than is put in is difficult.
Re:"offend some people." Ya think? by clone53421 · 2010-05-12 08:43 · Score: 4, Interesting

I’m a Christian, and I wasn’t offended.
I think he’s incorrect, but I’m not offended by his theory.

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Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.