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North Korea Announces Achieving Nuclear Fusion
aftertaf writes "North Korea claims to have achieved nuclear fusion by building what it describes as a 'unique thermo-nuclear reaction device.' This announcement was met by skepticism on just about every news website this side of Saturn. Pyongyang claims its latest scientific breakthrough coincides with the birthday of the country's founder and eternal president Kim Il-sung. This is not the first time it seems that the laws of nature have been bent in his honor. According to official biographies, when his son, Kim Jong-il, was born, a new star appeared in the sky." No doubt the Dear Leader combined the atomic nuclei by hand.
Always impersonating that guy from MAD TV??
It was actually an American spy satellite parked in geosynchronous orbit over North Korea. Wave for the cameras, Kim!
!#@%*)anks for hanging up the phone, dear.
You could build the equipment yourself.
Getting more energy out of fusion than you put in... that's the hard part.
How can I believe you when you tell me what I don't want to hear?
In North Korea, anything is possible.
In other news, power in Pyongyang will only be available from 5:00 - 7:00 PM this week in celebration of the achievement.
Comment of the year
No doubt that he is small enough to have done it.
I figured he would have took credit for creating fusion when that new star appeared when his son was born.
I thought the dear leader was busy flying fighter jets, memorizing phone books, breaking golf records, and leading the NBA in rebounding.
If he can do nuclear fusion as well, then perhaps his talents truly are limitless.
Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
>> This announcement was met by skepticism on just about every news website this side of Saturn.
Sure! Make it sound like we on the other side of Saturn will believe anything. That's planetism sir!
For some reason I can't help but think that it would be hilarious and kind of scary if everyone chuckles a bit at this and in a couple of months news reports come in saying that for some strange reason the long-running North Korean energy crisis seems to have been solved...
Greylisting is to SMTP as NAT is to IPv4
The breakthrough was made with a hammer and a small amount of nitroglycerin. The reaction released a great deal of energy and as soon as they can aford a new hammer they hope to continue testing.
I was just going to say, why is this on "idle?" This is HUGE news!
They'd have to figure out how to grow food first.
In ancient Greece and Rome, it wasn't unusual for someone to claim either that a new star appeared in the sky to herald a great person's birth or that they became a star following their death. This latter claim is known as catasterism and was pretty popular from the time of the Hellenistic kings to the Julio-Claudian dynasty at Rome.
Catasterism is a frequent subject on coin portraits, with a star positioned about the portrait of the ruler. There is a very famous series of coins depicting Augustus fastening a star above the head of Marcellus, the man he had hoped would succeed him.
Of course the import of all of this is that, as with so much else, North Korea is about 2,000 years behind the times.
Actually, North Korea has already done an amazing job of keeping down energy use. By restricting electricity to a handful of elites and starving everyone else, they've been able to reduce their carbon footprint to almost nothing. Just look at the results. Glorious leader has produced a much more efficient country than that wasteful South Korea!
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Just out of curiosity, what part of "No peasants are starving, our economy is great, everyone else in the world envies/fears us, and by the way we just perfected nuclear fusion!" is a *mild* hallucination?
Upon consultation with actual Koreans, it turns out that the original press release said that North Korea had "nuked a Frusion".
The BBC apologizes for this error.
How could we doubt someone with sunglasses that are so cool?
For every problem, there is at least one solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
Of course, that would make it a bit too conspicuous to be a good spy satellite.
In addition, even the ultra-high-resolution cameras in spy satellites would probably not be of that much use from geostationary orbit (GEO), since GEO is very far away (~36,000 km). Spy satellites are likely put in a polar Low Earth Orbit (LEO) at approx. 200 km altitude. This gives much more detailed images, and also allows the satellite to cover the entire Earth without spending any fuel.
I know this is going to offend some people, but since most of the mythology around Jesus Christ is already borrowed from other mythological traditions, I expect that this is the origin of the Star of Bethlehem that is supposed to have appeared over Joshua Bar Joseph's birthplace when he was born. It would make sense for early Christians to have borrowed this story as well if it would help make their religion more popular with the Romano-Graecian population in the near east.
"The first time I got drunk, I got married. The second time I bought a chimpanzee, after that I stayed sober" Arian Seid
Note that experimenters have built Tokamaks and achieved fusion. Fusion is easy. Getting more power out than is put in is difficult.
I think he missed a few words in there, but what he meant was:
Overpopulation is a pretext for racists to advocate “population control” whereby they hope to address the poverty that breeds itself, particular in certain segments of the population who cannot seem to keep their legs closed. This is all supported with arguments such as follows:
Aww, hell. I’m forgetting where I am. I should’ve just said she was strongly against masturbation...
Now most of Slashdot will be up in arms, I’m sure.
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
Uhm, a crime against all sentient life in the Universe?
Ezekiel 23:20
I’m a Christian, and I wasn’t offended.
I think he’s incorrect, but I’m not offended by his theory.
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
Or, perhaps God planned it on purpose exactly like that, so that the “magi from the East” would recognise Jesus’ birth and come to worship him, fulfilling prophecies such as Isaiah 60:3.
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
As all universe obeys Beloved Leader, atoms fused, creating clean, pure energy with no neutrons, no MSG, and no trans-fats.
Wonderful new creation for used in distillation of brandy.
-- babelfish from Nut Korean World News
if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
Why did God make the half-lives of U-238 and U-235 just so?
Stick Men
Why did you feel it necessary to bring up a completely unrelated topic just to mock my belief in God?
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
Actually, I read an interview of a British researcher that has been studying North Korea for decades and has been there several times. He says that North Korea is actually a fascist country. Their system is based on an almost religious cult for the Dear Leader and racist belief in the superiority of the Korean race. Communism is only in outgoing propaganda. They carefully craft some propaganda in Korean only for their own use, and a different one in English to show to the world.
I wish I could post a link to the interview, I can't remember it. Very interesting, it made my chin fall a few times.