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North Korea Develops Anti-Aging "Super Drink"

__roo writes "According to North Korea's official news agency, a drink produced by North Korea's Moranbong Carbonated Fruit Juice Joint Venture Company can cure aging and all disease. 'It, with effects of both preventive and curative treatment, helps improve mental and retentive faculties by multiplying brain cells. It also protects skin from wrinkles and black spots and prevents such geriatric diseases as cerebral hemorrhage, myocardium and brain infarction by removing acid effete matters in time.' It also has no side-effects." Last month North Korea announced its fusion breakthrough, and now it has a super drink. One can only imagine what wonders may come in July — perhaps self-buttering toast.

11 of 296 comments (clear)

  1. No different than the food supplements in America by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    No different than the food supplements in America. They make all these claims and then some.

  2. Re:and China puts up with this? by Vinegar+Joe · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Because Chinese love the drink?

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  3. Wonderful by c · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Now all they need to do is come up with a drink which protects against death by starvation and torture and the North Korean people will have something to celebrate.

    c.

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  4. Re:So they won't need to worry by sznupi · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Or his demise could suddenly be "guaranteed" to be an act of assasination...

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  5. Not so fast, North Korea by scorp1us · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Many of you are familiar with he earth-at-night photo.

    Well did you ever take a look at North Korea? They don't have electricity, much less health care.

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    1. Re:Not so fast, North Korea by H0p313ss · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Hm, looking at the worldwide map, much of the US doesn't have electricity (much less healthcare?) either...

      Note that Baffin Island which is mostly north of the arctic circle and is mostly composed of barren (but rather beautiful) rock and tundra with a wopping population of 11,000 people (giving it a population density of 0.02 /km2 )has more bright points than North Korea which has over 24 million people and a population density of 198.3/km2.

      I'll leave interpretation of the actual meaning of these facts as an exercise for the student.

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  6. In all seriousness.... by tverbeek · · Score: 3, Insightful

    In all seriousness, these are warning signs that things are going to get very nasty in the Korean Peninsula very soon.

    When a totalitarian regime plays the "we are being victimized by the rest of the world" card in their nationalistic propaganda, the people will generally believe it and will unite in support of the leader, sometimes for decades. But when a regime tries to stoke the nationalistic fires by playing the "we are the greatest country in the world" card and making impossible promises of how gloriously successful they will be in the coming years, promises that will very quickly be seen by everyone as the bullshit they are, something's gonna happen and it's gonna happen soon.

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  7. Still won't cure stupidity by kiehlster · · Score: 3, Insightful

    They could really benefit from a drink that makes people aware of how outlandish they sound.

  8. A cautions hint: Comprade Kim is about to die by sageres · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I have no doubt in my mind that this is a hint of opressed press: The Great Comrade Kim Jong Il is old, sick and soon to die. And here is a reason: in 1952-53 when Stalin was on his deathbed, official press maintained that "The Father of All Nations" was in the greatest health of all. However, sometime around that time, hints appeared all over the press, such an article that was published in Pravda that claimed that there is a rumor that Georgians live way past 130 years. The average Soviet people would then read it, conclude that it is impossible, and then realize what the paper really meant to say "between the lines".

  9. We laugh by DaMattster · · Score: 4, Insightful

    We laugh at the ridiculous claims of the famous "pigmy" leader's regieme whilst falling victim to the same scam in our own backyard. Look at the weight loss scam products that are out there that have spawned almost a billion dollar industry. It would seem that these shady product vendors bring a product to market long enough to make a large sum of money before being discovered as, at best inefffective and at worst, outright fraud. I find it funny that we laugh at the "Super Drink" while we become easily duped by advertisements on TV that claim super weight loss.

    1. Re:We laugh by sorak · · Score: 2, Insightful

      We laugh at the ridiculous claims of the famous "pigmy" leader's regieme whilst falling victim to the same scam in our own backyard. Look at the weight loss scam products that are out there that have spawned almost a billion dollar industry. It would seem that these shady product vendors bring a product to market long enough to make a large sum of money before being discovered as, at best inefffective and at worst, outright fraud. I find it funny that we laugh at the "Super Drink" while we become easily duped by advertisements on TV that claim super weight loss.

      This is why FDA approval is a good thing.