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North Korea Develops Anti-Aging "Super Drink"
__roo writes "According to North Korea's official news agency, a drink produced by North Korea's Moranbong Carbonated Fruit Juice Joint Venture Company can cure aging and all disease. 'It, with effects of both preventive and curative treatment, helps improve mental and retentive faculties by multiplying brain cells. It also protects skin from wrinkles and black spots and prevents such geriatric diseases as cerebral hemorrhage, myocardium and brain infarction by removing acid effete matters in time.' It also has no side-effects." Last month North Korea announced its fusion breakthrough, and now it has a super drink. One can only imagine what wonders may come in July — perhaps self-buttering toast.
It's called beer goggles.
"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." -- George Orwell
About who's going to succeed Kim Jong-Il, then.
It will also make your penis grow in size, will make your erection last longer, and your orgasms more intense.
No wonder he hasn't changed a bit since 10 years.
But self-buttering toast that lands butter-side UP when dropped, every time, meaning they have developed a small anti-Murphian field that envelops each slice of toast.
Next, this Anti-Murphian field will be generated on a larger scale and will be developed as an active defense, meaning that anything that can go right will go wright.
However, the device will be immediately outlawed and everyone involved in the project killed once Kim Jong-Il realizes that if he ever got in the vicinity of an anti-Murphian field he would be instantly deposed or killed.
"This post contains words, known to the State of California to cause thought. Wash brain thoroughly after reading."
Yeah, and those free speech hating bastards at the FDA want to stop me from selling water and making those claims! Fascists.
and it didn't work out too well.
I'm waiting for Kevin Trudeau to release a book titled, "Nuclear Fusion secrets THEY don't want you to know."
Non impediti ratione cogitationus.
The real question is, has it got electrolytes?
Wright's Law: If something can go right, it will, for someone else.
I thought Wright's Law stated that anything that can go rong will go rong.
This ain't rocket surgery.
At an art museum in Europe, an Englishman, a Frenchman, and a North Korean stand before a painting of Adam and Eve holding an apple in the Garden of Eden. The Englishman says: "The man has something tasty to eat and is eager to share it with the woman. Based on that, I would conclude that they're rather obviously English..." The Frenchman says: "I disagree. They're walking around entirely naked, so they must be French..." The North Korean says: "There is no doubt in my mind that they're North Korean. They have no clothes to wear, barely anything to eat, and they still think they're in heaven!"
Well did you ever take a look at North Korea? They don't have electricity, much less health care.
No, the super drink just encourages you to go to bed early, and not leave the lights on.
Just like the Great Leader said, "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a dictator healthy, wealthy and wise."
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
It's got what slaves crave.
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Prisencolinensinainciusol. Ol Rait!
So they've basically developed the anti-soju! sweet
Don't worry. Even if that happens, Jobs will come out with a 4G, coal-powered phone, and still convince everyone it's worth queuing all night and paying twice as much for.
"It, much higher than quality cosmetics in anti-oxidation capacity, is efficacious for different skin diseases, including allergic dermatitis. It also makes skin fair. "The drink has no side-effect."
It's a fruit juice drink that turns your skin white, but has no side effects....eh?
Last month they announced their fusion breakthrough, and now they have a super drink. One can only imagine what wonders they will reveal in July, perhaps self buttering toast.
Bah. Wake me up when North Korea announces that they are going to release "Duke Nukem Forever."
Andrew Borntreger
Champion of cinematic disasters
Hey I can see Kim Jong-Il's house there, that one little dot... He must not be able to sleep at night...
I believe their already doing this over they're.
[Rent This Space]
As you can clearly see the majority of North Korea uses non-light polluting light, it's considerably more advanced than the light used in other nations.
Bitter and twisted, DON'T ever FORGET the TWISTED