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Chinese News Reports the Taliban Are Training Monkey Soldiers
According to a Chinese news publication, soldiers in Afghanistan may soon come up against a deadly new weapon in the war: monkey soldiers. The report claims that the Taliban are training the monkeys to shoot and kill American soldiers. They also claim to have pictures of monkeys holding AK-47s and Bren light machine guns. From the article: "The New York Magazine has reported about this in jest and stated on Friday, 'No invader has ever conquered Afghanistan, and now we know why. The monkeys will not allow it. It was a good effort, but it's time to pack it in. This is no longer a fight we can win.'”
Sarge: "Alright. Get the fruit truck and the truck loaded with female monkeys in heat."
The monkeys will then drop their weapons, run for the fruit and then for the females in heat. Coalition soldiers then walk in without a fight.
RIP America
July 4, 1776 - September 11, 2001
If you start arming monkeys, you end up with a banana republic.
The real planet of the apes... DAMN YOU
Attention... all grammer nazi"s! Is they're anything; wrong with: my post,
...but this is ridiculous!
Wise men say, "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza."
Maybe they are?
I wouldn't put it past the Taliban to train a monkey to do a man's job. It's probably cheaper to get a monkey to blow themselves up, especially if the monkey is expecting to receive bananas.
"...It was a good effort, but it's time to pack it in. This is no longer a fight we can win."
History would indicate this is actually the case.
...eat bananas and kick some ass, and I'm all out of bananas!
The Marines have had guns for centuries.
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
I've got a better option, let's cut and run, and let those fucks continue to conquer the world.
Clearly, hurling rocks at tanks = conquering the world, while spending billions upon billions of dollars on advanced weaponry and yelling at anyone that doesn't agree with us isn't conquering the world.
And, naturally, trying to convert as many countries as possible to our way of doing things doesn't count as conquering.
So, you keep supporting our troops by encouraging our enemies, and I'll keep killing the fuckers who intend to kill you if you don't convert.
That's funny...I don't seem to recall American citizens being killed by Muslim's on a regular basis until we invaded their countries.
Living With a Nerd
A Møøse once bit my sister...
Have gnu, will travel.
Stage a coo? As in a pigeon call?
The time the cited the Onion on the story about the retractable dome over the capital building was funny, but this has to be the worst translation ever.
Monkey Soldiers...
Guerrilla Tactics...
-Rick
"Most people in the U.S. wouldn't know they live in a tyrannical state if it walked up and grabbed their junk." - MyFirs
Speaking of Islamic states, let's topple one of the most secular governments in the middle east and let the Islamic fundamentalists vote in a new leader. Nothing could go wrong there...right? I mean, it's absolutely right to demonize Hussein, but don't try to convince me that they were going to come in and forcefully change our way of life. Especially when Hussein and Al Quaeda were in direct ideological conflict regarding secularism.
The stories and info posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only fools would take it as fact.
It's the 21st centruy, why can't I pony up $50 so I can shoot a enemy of America in the head via webcam ?!!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6568977/#slice-2
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff