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Darth Vader Robs Long Island Bank

Posted by samzenpus on from the I-find-our-lack-of-funds-disturbing dept.

Apparently the destruction of the second Death Star has stretched the Galactic Empire's coffers so thin that Lord Vader himself is robbing banks. From the article: "Impotent Rebel Alliance security forces tell Newsday (paywall) that Vader marched into a Chase bank in Setauket around 11:30 a.m. today. Brandishing a completely unnecessary handgun — as he had the power to choke the oxygen out every teller's throat — the fallen Jedi demanded cash."

12 of 190 comments (clear)

  1. handguns by Shakrai · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid......

    --
    I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
    We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
  2. These are not the money bags you're looking for. by snookerhog · · Score: 5, Funny

    move along

  3. Not a bad plan by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    But I think playing the Imperial March on a portable speaker while he walked in drew a bit too much attention.

  4. There were actually 3 robbers. by DWMorse · · Score: 5, Funny

    One that actually walked into the bank, one that did the voice demanding the money, and one that will go to jail for showing his face for a few seconds.

    --
    There's a spot in User Info for World of Warcraft account names? Really?
    1. Re:There were actually 3 robbers. by elrous0 · · Score: 5, Funny

      And most hated of all...the one whiny little girl-man robber who will later be edited into the security camera footage.

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
  5. He'll be pretty easy to spot by Mabbo · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just go to the next convention, and look for the guy who is no longer living in his mother's basement.

  6. Re:Obviously by DoofusOfDeath · · Score: 5, Funny

    At the bank they did not know the power of the Dark Side...

    I'm sure their executives do.

  7. ATM by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Who's gonna give me a loan, jack-hole? You!? You got an ATM on that torso lite-brite!?" - Emperor Palpatine

  8. Free Lightsaber with every new account by magusxxx · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I find your lack of interest in your savings accounts disturbing." --- "The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant to a well diversified IRA."--- "Asteroids do not concern me, Teller. I want that ship, not excuses. Now get me a low percentage loan."--- "When I left you I was but an accountant. Now I am the bank manager."

    --
    Care killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.
  9. Re:WTF? by DoofusOfDeath · · Score: 5, Insightful

    How is robbing a bank amusing or entertainment? Just because the guy was in a costume that nerds might think is cool? Uhmm... I don't think so.

    The main reason is that while this world contains some wonderful things in it, it also contains lots and lots of bad stuff. Being able to find humor in bad situations can make life more bearable despite some of its horrors. Laughing at a situation or event doesn't necessarily mean that we'd chose for it to come about, it's a way of trying to enjoy life despite living in an often painful world.

  10. He's heading for that small Bank by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    That's no Bank;

    It's a credit union.

  11. Re:Unusual by jd2112 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Cheney is hard up for cash because of his recent heart surgery. It was a lot more expensive than anticipated because the surgeons have never worked on anything that small...

    --
    Any insufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.