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Drunken Employee Shoots Server

Posted by samzenpus on from the pc-load-letter dept.

Target Practice writes "A drunken mortgage worker at RANLife Home Loans decided for unknown reasons to take out the company's $100,000 server with a .45-caliber automatic, blaming the damage on an imagined assailant who: mugged him, assaulted him with his own weapon, drugged him, and then broke into his office to shoot said server. According to acquaintances, he had threatened earlier that day to shoot the server and maybe himself."

40 of 309 comments (clear)

  1. In his defense by elrous0 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Police did find a knife on the floor, corroborating his account that the server came at him first.

    --
    SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    1. Re:In his defense by Pojut · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Quick, Ned! He's comin' right for us!"
      "NNNNNNNNOH-NO, OUT OF AMMO"

      --
      Living With a Nerd
    2. Re:In his defense by h2okies · · Score: 5, Funny

      Police did find an IBM Blade on the floor, corroborating his account that the server came at him first. There ...fixed that for your

      --
      Beware the Lollipop of Mediocrity, Lick it once and you suck forever.
    3. Re:In his defense by thijsh · · Score: 2, Funny

      Must have been one hell of a bug he encountered, the error it caused was certainly fatal. And he invented the only manly way of sending the server a kill signal.

    4. Re:In his defense by Anonymusing · · Score: 5, Funny

      And they also found that the server was packing several blades...

      --
      Liberal? Conservative? Compare perspectives at Left-Right
    5. Re:In his defense by SphericalCrusher · · Score: 3, Funny

      Also in his defense, the server was running Windows Server 2003. Poor guy.

      --
      "Instant gratification takes too long." - Carrie Fisher
    6. Re:In his defense by Compaqt · · Score: 2, Funny

      Did this guy pull the chute and slide down on his way out?

      --
      I'm not a lawyer, but I play one on the Internet. Blog
    7. Re:In his defense by FatdogHaiku · · Score: 5, Funny

      Forget the knife! Clippy did it.

      I always thought that bastard was bent...

      --
      You have the right to remain sentient. If you give up the right to remain sentient, you will be elected to public office
    8. Re:In his defense by Linker3000 · · Score: 5, Funny

      SAN shot first!

      --
      AT&ROFLMAO
    9. Re:In his defense by operagost · · Score: 4, Funny

      Re your sig: what if she has hard wood floors? *shudder*

      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
    10. Re:In his defense by andy1307 · · Score: 3, Funny

      kill -.45?

    11. Re:In his defense by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      He should have gone with the "Chewbacca Defense" [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chewbacca_defense]

    12. Re:In his defense by Chris+Mattern · · Score: 2, Funny

      kill -9mm would be more appropriate.

  2. Ahhh alcohol ... by oldspewey · · Score: 5, Funny

    Alcohol. Is there anything it can't do?

    --
    If libertarians are so opposed to effective government, why don't they all move to Somalia?
    1. Re:Ahhh alcohol ... by Moraelin · · Score: 5, Funny

      "Avoid strong drink. It can cause you to shoot at tax collectors...and miss!"
      -- Robert A. Heinlein

      --
      A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
    2. Re:Ahhh alcohol ... by moogied · · Score: 3, Funny

      Then why is it every time I get drunk the girl is skinny, but when I wake up she is fat?? She is clearly just pigging out after I pass out.

      --
      So basically, -1 troll/offtopic is really slashdots way of saying "I hate that you thought of something before me."
    3. Re:Ahhh alcohol ... by NiteShaed · · Score: 4, Funny

      This is one of the best opportunities I've seen lately to use either "Insightful" or "Informative" mods to be mean.....

      --
      Some bring out the best in others, some the worst. Some bring out far more.
    4. Re:Ahhh alcohol ... by Shakrai · · Score: 2, Funny

      She is clearly just pigging out after I pass out.

      Or there are more calories in semen than previously thought?

      --
      I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
      We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
  3. yeah by Velox_SwiftFox · · Score: 3, Funny

    They always try to blame it on the hardware.

  4. with apologies by Sporkinum · · Score: 5, Funny

    I shot the server
    (but I did not shoot the disk array)

    --
    "He's lost in a 'floyd hole"
    1. Re:with apologies by interkin3tic · · Score: 5, Funny

      I shot a server room AC in reno, just to watch it fry

    2. Re:with apologies by swamp+boy · · Score: 3, Funny

      The server was then heard to be mumbling "knockin' on heaven's door".

    3. Re:with apologies by bpeikes · · Score: 3, Funny

      When I see that BSOD, I hand my head and cry....

  5. Re:He's Living the Dream, Baby! by oodaloop · · Score: 5, Funny

    Troubleshoot! I asked you to troubleshoot the server! Oh, for pete's sake!

    --
    Tic-Tac-Toe, Global Thermonuclear War, and relationships all have the same winning move.
  6. Self-defence by seniorcoder · · Score: 5, Funny

    Rumor has it that the server was seen holding what the mortgage officer thought was a weapon. The officer drew and repeatedly fired his weapon, pausing to reload 15 times because he believed his life was in danger. The server was fatally hit by 87 rounds, most of them entering through the rear of the chassis. No other weapon was found at the scene. The mortgage officer has been put on temporary desk assignment while an investigation is held.

  7. Re:He's Living the Dream, Baby! by JonJ · · Score: 2, Funny

    No, I didn't really have any problems shooting it..

    --
    -- Linux user #369862
  8. The server died on the way to the hospital by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Netcraft confirmed it.

    In better news, several banks of surviving ram and couple of hard drives have been salvaged and donated to a server that needs some upgrades.

  9. Is the server OK? by Johnberg · · Score: 5, Funny

    The article didn't even mention if the server was ok or not.

  10. If it was it an Apple server it is self defence... by KiwiCanuck · · Score: 2, Funny

    As there was either a Panther, Tiger or some type of Leopard inside.

  11. Re:He's Living the Dream, Baby! by vegiVamp · · Score: 5, Funny

    The server was trouble, so he shot it.

    --
    What a depressingly stupid machine.
  12. But was it Windows or Linux ? by mbone · · Score: 2, Funny

    That's what slashdot wants to know.

    1. Re:But was it Windows or Linux ? by blackfrancis75 · · Score: 2, Funny

      which platform do Mortgage lenders usually target?

  13. Re:He's Living the Dream, Baby! by twilightzero · · Score: 5, Funny

    He must have been playing Paranoia the night before.

    "You play a troubleshooter. You go out, find trouble, and shoot it."

    --

    "Christ what a design! I could eat a handful of iron filings and PUKE a better emergency pump than that!"
  14. Additional information by Intron · · Score: 5, Funny

    The police who responded immediately called for backup.

    --
    Intron: the portion of DNA which expresses nothing useful.
  15. Server shot first by Necreia · · Score: 4, Funny

    Funny... I was just hearing from George Lucas that the server shot first.

  16. Inspired cover song: by pinkushun · · Score: 3, Funny

    "I shot the server, but I didn't shoot no DVD"

  17. Re:I call shenanigans by dallas996 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "a lot of box" and "Physics department" are two terms not often associated with one another.....

  18. Watch the console by Timosch · · Score: 2, Funny

    BROADCAST MESSAGE FROM USER root: The system will be shot down now!

  19. Re:"Automatic" doesn't mean what you think it mean by klubar · · Score: 2, Funny

    I don't why it matters if he had a PC or an Apple server? Or why the Media Access Control address of the device is important.

  20. Re:If it was it an Apple server it is self defence by mjwx · · Score: 2, Funny

    If he had to use an Apple server, he could easily claim temporary insanity.

    --
    Calling someone a "hater" only means you can not rationally rebut their argument.