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Segway UK Boss Dies After Driving Off Cliff

Posted by samzenpus on from the dead-mans-curve dept.

necro81 writes "Jimi Heselden, the British multi-millionaire defense contractor and philanthropist, who bought the Segway company last December from inventor Dean Kamen, died yesterday after an accident while riding one of the machines. While using a ruggedized X2 version of the two-wheeled balancing scooter at his estate in North Yorkshire, he apparently drove over the edge of a precipice and into the River Wharfe. He was found later by a passerby and declared dead on the scene."

33 of 413 comments (clear)

  1. The Poor Guy! by eldavojohn · · Score: 5, Funny

    He was last seen at the plant arguing with one of the engineers who had assured him the latest Segway was "uncrashable." He rode off muttering something about having the last laugh. Clearly he was a business and marketing genius but a bit of a lemming in day-to-day life.

    But in all seriousness, I'm very sorry for him and his family. If I didn't constantly encounter the damned things on sidewalks and in pedestrian spaces on the National Mall in DC I wouldn't be so quick to lampoon their maker's untimely demise.

    --
    My work here is dung.
    1. Re:The Poor Guy! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      It seems slashdotters have also stopped reading the summaries. Perhaps we need some kind of chapta system to check if posters have at least read that!

    2. Re:The Poor Guy! by Swave+An+deBwoner · · Score: 4, Funny

      It seems slashdotters have also stopped reading the summaries. Perhaps we need some kind of chapta system to check if posters have at least read that!

      Please, anybody who won't even read a three sentence summary certainly won't read a whole chapta.

    3. Re:The Poor Guy! by bill_mcgonigle · · Score: 3, Funny

      Why is paraphrasing the first sentence of the article (while attempting to contradict something that GP didn't actually say) modded informative?

      Here's how it works: most articles have 3-4 actual interesting facts in them. They get extracted and modded up so we don't have to read the article. That saves about 50,000 nerd-hours per day.

      --
      My God, it's Full of Source!
      OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)
  2. Before anyone says it: by Penguinisto · · Score: 2, Funny

    Please look up the definition of irony before posting anything with that particular word in it.

    (This especially includes all Sheryl Crow fans)

    Thanks in advance.

    --
    Quo usque tandem abutere, Nimbus, patientia nostra?
    1. Re:Before anyone says it: by Mongoose+Disciple · · Score: 5, Funny

      Please look up the definition of irony before posting anything with that particular word in it.

      (This especially includes all Sheryl Crow fans)

      Ironically, you probably meant Alanis Morissette.

    2. Re:Before anyone says it: by tom17 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Not in itself. But if he was seriously trying to be ironic by doing so, then the fact that it was not ironic and in a post requesting correct usage of irony, was itself ironic.

    3. Re:Before anyone says it: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      But it's important to uphold the principals, and not set a bad president.

    4. Re:Before anyone says it: by Trepidity · · Score: 4, Funny

      If you imagine watching him post in slow-motion in a stage production, then the part where he started typing "Shery..." was a scene with dramatic irony, because the audience knew he was about to complete a tragic error, whereas the character himself was unaware.

      --
      10 PRINT CHR$(205.5+RND(1)); : GOTO 10
    5. Re:Before anyone says it: by thePowerOfGrayskull · · Score: 4, Funny
      Must ... not ... correct. Know it ... was ... intentional, must NOT ...

      Where's the duc[tk] tape? My head's gonna blow.

    6. Re:Before anyone says it: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      I always hold this example up as a paragon of irony:

      A protester is picketing a site where an endangered animal's habitat is about to get bulldozed, and the protester gets trampled to death by a stampede of this endangered animal.

    7. Re:Before anyone says it: by orgelspieler · · Score: 4, Funny

      Irony is subjective. Almost anything can be considered ironic or not based on a point of view.

      English is not a programming language.

      Yes it is. ENGLISH

      Is that ironic?

  3. must've fallen for the hype by ceejayoz · · Score: 4, Funny

    He must have fallen for the pre-launch hype, where the inventor and a variety of major tech figures were claiming that cities would be designed around the things. Maybe he thought it levitated?

    1. Re:must've fallen for the hype by pixelpusher220 · · Score: 4, Funny

      He must have fallen for the pre-launch hype

      really?

      --
      People in cars cause accidents....accidents in cars cause people :-D
    2. Re:must've fallen for the hype by noidentity · · Score: 2, Funny

      Maybe he thought it levitated?

      It was, until he looked down. Maybe that threw off its gyroscopes or something.

  4. I guess the top secret by ravenscar · · Score: 5, Funny

    amphibious assault Seguay couldn't keep its head above water

  5. Shameless Marketing Stunt... by Jackie_Chan_Fan · · Score: 5, Funny

    This has to be the worst way to get free press for your product. But I'll give it to the man... He's dedicated.

    1. Re:Shameless Marketing Stunt... by Jah-Wren+Ryel · · Score: 4, Funny

      This has to be the worst way to get free press for your product. But I'll give it to the man... He's dedicated.

      Correction: deadicated.

      --
      When information is power, privacy is freedom.
    2. Re:Shameless Marketing Stunt... by Jackie_Chan_Fan · · Score: 2, Funny

      Word is they found his body standing up perfectly vertical on the segway as it balanced his corpse on the fly...

  6. unfortunate by slshwtw · · Score: 3, Funny

    He was a real stand-up kind of guy

  7. not the usual segway death by Nidi62 · · Score: 3, Funny
    Usually segway riders only die from humiliation.

    And yes, I know I'm going to hell.

    --
    The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
  8. Question by 2names · · Score: 4, Funny

    What is the British equivalent to "Hey, Ya'll, watch this!"

    --
    "I'm just here to regulate funkiness."
    1. Re:Question by snspdaarf · · Score: 5, Funny

      What is the British equivalent to "Hey, Ya'll, watch this!"

      "Tally-ho!"

      --
      Why, without your clothes, you're naked, Miss Dudley!
  9. Don't call it a Segway... by clickety6 · · Score: 5, Funny


    Call it a Segw
                  a
                   a
                    a
                     a
                      a
                       a
                        a
                         a
                          y
    This ground is a way to get round the stupid whitespace filters

    --
    ----------------------------------- My Other Sig Is Hilarious -----------------------------------
  10. Re:This is news for nerds? Stuff that matters? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    I know, there's nothing worse than having to pay attention when you're driving a vehicle.

  11. Re:Inventor: yes/no. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    The Personal Transporter's *actual* inventor is this engineer I've bumped into

    Surely he bumped in to you?

  12. This was his segway into the afterlife by erroneus · · Score: 1, Funny

    I guess this was his segway into the afterlife!

    (* Rimshot! *)

  13. Re:Man. by fatphil · · Score: 4, Funny

    Double coincidence - "Jimi was chairman of Hesco Bastion Ltd, the world leading manufacturer of protective barriers"

    Hmmm, he didn't sell enough, clearly.

    --
    Also FatPhil on SoylentNews, id 863
  14. Re:Inventor: yes/no. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm I not reading this quite right? Because it sounds like your saying the Segway was a more important invention than the insulin pump. I'll grant more complex, but more important?

    Wait, I get the logic now! Using the Segway increases the demand for the insulin pump! It gets sold to the customer first, so it must be more important!

  15. Re:Inventor: yes/no. by blair1q · · Score: 4, Funny

    He said Kamen's biggest invention was the insulin pump.

    I don't see a value judgment there. Just a clarification.

    I also think Segways are bigger than insulin pumps.

    Parse that as you will.

  16. Sounds like a Segfault by grahamsaa · · Score: 2, Funny

    worst. crash. ever.

    --
    Facts have a liberal bias.
  17. Re:inb4 people making jokes of this by couchslug · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Are you going to express your sorrow for everyone or just for those who make the news?"

    Option Two for me. If mass media don't think them important I'm certainly too shallow to care.

    --
    "This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
  18. Re:inb4 people making jokes of this by jadin · · Score: 2, Funny

    Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you drive a Segway off a cliff and die.

    (with apologies to Mel Brooks)