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Is Your Laptop Cooking Your Testicles?
Velcroman1 writes "Whoever invented the 'laptop' probably didn't worry too much about male reproductive health. Turns out, unsurprisingly, that sitting with a computer on your lap will crank up the temperature of your nether regions, which could affect sperm quality. And there is little you can do about it, according to the authors of a study out today in the journal Fertility and Sterility, short of putting your laptop on a desk. The researchers hooked thermometers to the scrotums of 29 young men (!) who were balancing a laptop on their knees. They found that even with a lap pad under the computer, the men's scrotums overheated quickly. 'Millions and millions of men are using laptops now, especially those in the reproductive age range,' said Dr. Yefim Sheynkin, a urologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, who led the new study."
So how many young men who haven't settled down yet are looking at this more as an opportunity than a problem? :)
This Space Intentionally Left Blank
wow, haven't they been saying this since... 2007 or something?
And there is little you can do about it
Actually there is, and it involves getting a quality laptop. I personally have Clevo W880CU and its cold from bottom, top and everywhere. Sure, it costs ~$2500, but you usually get what you pay for. Personally I'm extremely happy with it.
I am good to go now !! All right !! Power to the heater in the pants !!
Yours,
Spermicider
Well? It does. Now, if only using a cell phone in public sterilized people as well ...
Yet Another Tech Blog
(but so much more, including game and movie reviews)
http://yanteb.peasantoid.org
Wait till the Catholic church hears about that. :P
What is it with all of these people putting their computer in their lap? I've tried that - it's uncomfortable, your hands and arms are in a bad position for typing, the screen ends up at a bad angle for viewing - both uncomfortable, and in the case of older screens, un-viewable.
Much better to put the computer on a desk, a table, or even the floor in front of you.
Is it just me? Do I have weird gorilla-arms or something that make me unable to type when the keyboard is sitting that close in? Why would anyone stick their computer in that awkward a location anyways?
This is good news - we don't need any more people on the planet anyways.
I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
been using a laptop for ages, and still nocked up my GF
Boo-yah!
If only there were a way to get rid of those damaged cells and create new ones.
Or maybe we can evolve some way to correct that ridiculous stopgap measure that we have due to sperm's inability to withstand normal body temperatures.
Out of modpoints but really liked a post? 1BDkF6TtmmeZ3yqXbz9yhdYVqRYnwFoXDj
"You don't understand," said the man at the return counter. "I said I wanted a computer with a compact DISK burner."
actually have any need for their testicles to function properly?
"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvdf5n-zI14
Last I heard women on webcam can't get pregnant over the internet.
Period (No pun intended)
Never trust a spiritual leader who cannot dance -- Mr. Miyagi
Do people really use laptops on their laps? The whole keyboard/screen relationship is totally wrong in that configuration.
Self awareness - try it!
oh my GOD , an eye opening article . thanks bro
http://www.preciseforexsignals.com
Is why the test subjects let anyone "hook" a thermometer to their nuts?
Unless she was a big blonde with good hands......
I never have my laptop on my lap and when then just for a very short time. I mean where to go with the mouse? I use the side of my leg as a mousepad it works but it's hardly comfortable and the touchpad is nervebraking after 5 min. Also, I get backpain of the sitting position. But sure that's just me at least I'm happy now I never got used to it.
Who actually places their notebook computers on their lap? Even at a univsersity where everyone has a notebook I rarely see anyone actually sitting in a proper upright position with a notebook on their laps. You know what else heats up your scrotum too much? Thermal underwear, sitting cross legged, heated car seats...
There was a humorous TED talk on this over 2 years ago following quite a bit of media coverage on the same topic. I believe its also been explored whether internal diaper temperatures may do long term harm the development of the testes.
NUTS!!
You'd have to have balls to participate in that experiment.
This is why Sony has always called them notebooks, and not laptops.
Liability protection through marketing.
Mankind evolved naked, so presumably wearing trousers also has an insulating effect on the scrotum and therefore increases testicle temperatures. How come we never hear about the "male health" dangers of getting dressed?
politicians are like babies' nappies: they should both be changed regularly and for the same reasons
Chestnuts roasting on a Toshiba Laptop..... those things even come with burn warning stickers underneath!
WWPD - What Would Picard Do?
Despite what may seem obvious, it wasn't so much the heat coming from the computer that was doing it. When you think about it, the hot parts of a laptop are a good distance away from your scrotum (or, at least, they should be if you're not doin' it wrong). The researchers found that it was the leg position used to keep the computer on the lap - i.e., legs closed together - that was the source of the problem. Keeping your legs together while seated was the strongest cause in the rise in scrotal temperature, because you're surrounding your nads with warm parts of the body and covering surface area that would help remove heat. The researchers found that keeping your legs apart would mitigate the problem, but only a little, because then you'd need a large laptop pad bridging the gap, which covers your nethers right back up. Or you could get a humongously wide laptop.
Somehow, I'm thinking that the future of the human race is not imperiled by laptops making men infertile. At least, not in that way.
good news i say, being a mac owner i couldnt afford to raise a child!
It gets your feet warm and saves your future generation!
Nae king! Nae laird! Nae yurrupiean pressedent! We willna be fooled again!
Sounds like a cheap new form of birth control to me!
Tea and kung-fu. Life is good. Rising Phoenix
... I use a laptop!
I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.
That blonde couldn't even measure a correct heart rate.
Nae king! Nae laird! Nae yurrupiean pressedent! We willna be fooled again!
Weenie roast.
"The researchers hooked thermometers to the scrotums of 29 young men"
Just... wow.
Boxers vs. Briefs: Increasing Sperm Count
An other option of course if to combat a lower sperm count is heave more sex.
I always suspected this would happen, so I wrote three letters to three seperate people expousing my true desire to have 10-12 kids, and that it was my life goal. I have, since then, rested overheating laptops on my lap as much as humanly possible.
Then, when found infertile, I will sue Apple, Dell, and Toshiba (those three are the best! For overheating your junk, that is), for my 12 children. I've heard the civil monetary value of children is anywhere from 20-100k a piece, so this is my millionaire idea.
Posted AC for obvious reasons.
If only I'd known about this six years ago!
Finally had enough. Come see us over at https://soylentnews.org/
Liquid-cooled laptops with heat exchanger behind the display.
My new laptop with a SSD disk does not get warm at all!
Tell me what the long term effects are.
If you are reading slashdot you probably wont be using them anyway!
Don't know about the rest of you guys, but my laptops have all kept their heat further toward the back and I tend to use it closer to my knees, not my crotch. It's a little hard to type or use the mouse when it's too close to you. Also, I wonder if the temperature raises more from the laptop itself or just from the fact you are holding your legs together around your junk (in order to balance the lappy.)
I type medical transcription on a laptop to make my living. Thankfully I'm past the age where I'd want more children. Bonus would be if I were still attractive enough to catch a little action on the side -- no worries with a low sperm count! ROFL!
Time to invest on termic briefs then.
Now you know why technology is great!
*** Don't be dull.***
And I thought, nature took already care of that problem by placing a heatpipe next to the scotrum. *shrug*
Doesn't affect me.... I blew up *that* factory long ago....
... and a laptop, so I will henceforth be using it on my lap at all times.
Michael Coyne
http://turthalion.blogspot.com
Or portable computing evolves to something less harmful, or humanity evolves to something that will hate portable computers, at the very genetic level.
Use nothing but my Laptop as IT consultant yet my wife and I are now expecting our third child.
Certainly not recommended for birth control.
The researchers hooked thermometers to the scrotums of 29 young men (!) who were balancing a laptop on their knees. They found that even with a lap pad under the computer, the men's scrotums overheated quickly
Were they viewing porn on the laptop?
But I bought one of those table top doohickeys they sold on infomercials. (The one with the 40L water jug being dropped on it to show its strength), and I put my laptop on that. It works quite well, and the boys remain cool as cucumbers.
my five kids would argue that this is nonsense. definitely nothing wrong with my reproductive system...
Windows is right when it says it is safe to turn off your computer.
Nae king! Nae laird! Nae yurrupiean pressedent! We willna be fooled again!
This is also why they say that you shouldn't sit in a hot tub before trying to conceive. Although they didn't say anything about trying to conceive while in a hot tub.
...make it clear that a male contraceptive pill would have a real success...
The Wise adapts himself to the world. The Fool adapts the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the Fool.
This is nothing new but what new to me is a funny idea that just came into my mind while reading this.
What if laptop manufacturers takes advantage of this. Say develop a balls-fan/coolant attached via USB, so men never have to worry about this issue. Stupid really but funny.
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The guys using so much their laptop to fry their balls obviously don't have girlfriends. So they are anyways not able to procreate!
But you could kindly ask a girl to use her lap to put your laptop on, so you can watch pr0n in a healthy way.
I just masturbate a couple times a day, keeps the sperm nice and fresh.
Very well, let's see how I'd do some everyday activities with an iPad.
First I SSH and VNC into the home server (after paying any requisite app fees) and...now I have to type with an on-screen keyboard? And it's damn impossible to hit anything accurately with capacitive touch unless I zoom right up. Well this sucks, but moving on.
Next I've been screwing around with my N900's OS and it won't boot, so I have to reimage it. Oh wait the iPad doesn't have a USB port, but that's okay because I can't compile the flasher utility on it anyways. But hey it can't do everything right? I mean how many people do that?
Now I want to reflash a router so I have to wire in. Wait, no ethernet port, damn.
Now I need to read some files from a CD. Oh wait.
Next I need to work on some files stored on a USB flash drive. Nope, can't.
Time to transfer my home server's boot drive to another disk, so I plug....fuck.
Now I'll plug the iPad into the TV and watch some shows served from my home server via samba shares. What there's no samba client? Crap. Okay I use my N900 to remotely set up a uPnP/DLNA media server to serve the videos. It's anime watchin' time....and there are no subtitles now T_T
Maybe if I put the files right on the device and play them with a compatible media player (additional fees may apply). Oh wait the iPad's CPU can't handle HD playback, I'd need to transcode the file manually first. Well I don't feel so bad about the lack of Samba now I guess, because I'd run into the same problem.
Okay so now it's time to put some DRM-free ebooks on this thing, reading ebooks is it's specialty right? I'll just Bluetooth transfer it...oh wait can't do that...I need to use iTunes...great...so I fire up the power-guzzling gaming desktop (as I often have to do now that I've replaced my laptop with an iPad) and install it in a VM, and sync the files across. Well that was a lot of work but it's done now.
So now maybe I'll take this ebook with me outside the house. And I have to carry this bigassed thing in addition to my phone that can do everything it can and much more. But I have a lot more screen space...in terms of inches, in pixels not so much...but that makes up for it, right?
No, this sucks, I want my laptop back.
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
I understand if you also install WOW your protection doubles.
Is this a problem or a feature?
But the ovaries are safe no doubt?
Getting one of these heaters into the lap of every child in the world might just be our best chance to keep humans for further overpopulating the planet to catastrophe.
Or maybe that's the Internet's plan to extinct us and take over. Phase I, replacing our reproductive drive with porn, is already wildly successful.
--
make install -not war
Where I'm from, it's called "Mountain Oysters" and it's $24.95 a plate.
...laptops are called laptops because you can put them on top of your lap. I never realized that was why they were called that since no human being has ever put one on their lap before this study.
If you are not allowed to question your government then the government has answered your question.
No. No, I can say with 100% certainty that it is not.
.....Well Duh.
Honestly, how is this newsworthy? it has been covered many many times, and is more or less obvious to begin with.
I've decided to Diversify my Holdings. I've divided my cash between my left and right pockets, instead of all in one.
Really, it's not like we have a poverty of humans on the planet already.
29 young men (!)
Yeah, I was surprised too. I totally expected them to use young women for the test.
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
It seems you cannot start early enough with contraceptives...
Nae king! Nae laird! Nae yurrupiean pressedent! We willna be fooled again!
wife: "honey guess what, I am preggers"
husband: "ah HA! I knew you were unfaithful to me because my laptop made me sterile! I been shooting blanks for years"
Politics is Treachery, Religion is Brainwashing
But who the fuck actually uses a computer by balancing it on their lap for any amount of time?
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
You can make a laptop run cooler by lowering the voltage to the processor. Your processor must be Pentium M through Core 2 series, the i3, i5, and i7 are not compatible.
RMClock is the tool recommended for doing undervolting.
When you lower the voltage, run something like Prime95 for 5 minutes to verify that the voltage you selected is stable. I've seen its test fail, so I bumped the voltage back up 2 clicks.
Do a google search for 'undervolting rmclock' for more information.
It's NOT because it's a easy knock-down target. nonono.
Not because it nicely bounces against the butt of your girl (or guy).
It's just because sperm needs to be at 34C or so, because 37 is too much. So having a laptop on your knees I bet it easily raises the temperature of your testicles.
Um, you can buy one of these? http://j.mp/9o6pCs
I was thinking the same thing. Clothing, or a simple blanket would also raise temperatures.
Terror! Be very afraid! Boo!
I see this not as a problem but as an oppurtunity to develop a laptop that vibrates also. Might be a bit embarrassing when used on the train though.
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
So instead of getting your work done quickly, cooking your testicles all the while, you spend an order of magnitude more time doing the same thing on the iPad. Time you could instead spend meeting chicks and getting laid!
That amazing Apple! They sure do think of everything!
a study was also done which showed that over 90% of those who used a laptop on their lap were more technically savvy and generally considered a threat to all governments now that most of them use computers for everything. The conclusion of the study also found that by slowing down reproduction of these laptop on lap types, the population of these types would start shrinking and eventually most would be concentrated in India and more easily contained. Various computer companies which will remain on named( Microsoft and Intel ) were encouraged to increase power usage and heat production of the laptop devices when it was learned that this reduced reproductive capabilities of the user.
A sub category of the study also showed there was a relationship between reproductivity and mega-elongation of the scrotum. More studies will be carried out to determine the percentage of the geek community with this medical condition and how to address this low handing fruit problem.
LoB
"Anyone who stands out in the middle of a road looks like roadkill to me." --Linus
Egads! Someone has invented such a device. Now, if we could only create a USB version. Search for the word cooler in the pdf document. (No, I don't know how to link directly to the paragraph. Even worse, I'm typing on a laptop and can't seem to actually insert a web link. So, your stuck cutting and pasting. Sorry.)
http://www.naturalgynae.com/downloads/male_fertility.pdf
Want to buy one now? http://www.rmsmedicalproducts.com/thdtarget.htm
... aluminum heat sink underwear and fly mounted cooling fan. I'll leave the liquid cooling jokes for others.
Prov 9:8 Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you.
http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=1854100&cid=34168942
and
http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=1854100&cid=34169650
Classic hilarious comedy... not even a "nice try" there, CLOWN.
http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=1854100&cid=34168942
and
http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=1854100&cid=34169650
Classic hilarious comedy... not even a "nice try" there, CLOWN. Not at all.
Another plus to being gay! Unlimited use of laptops on my lap.
Any guy that is spending that much time with a computer on his lap, is not getting laid anyway.
Biotch!
Tried TFA, so that I could warn my daughters and their insignificant-others. "Sorry", it said, "You must accept cookies". No way, I thought. But that's a bit late for the warnings, or I might have had sons not daughters. "Cookies" indeed.
I'm a heavy laptop user due to work, and never use the laptop pads. Didn't stop me from getting my wife pregnant within 2 months of trying.
"Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives" should be a convenience store, not a government agency.
Obligatory /. user stereotype joke...
I'm only balancing a laptop on my knees while I'm taking a shit on the toilet. Since my nuts are exposed to the cold toilet air I doubt that I'll have any problems.
why is this on Slashdot. laptops have been cooking are nuts sense 1982. and if overheating are nuts had any real effect we would have a entire generation of infertile men by now. but nope a genration where teens are having more kids then ever. and rampant ignorance.
No wonder India is handing out free laptops to their students.
Table-ized A.I.
I just want to know what kind of idiot guy lets some scientist slap a thermometer on his testicles and uses his laptop for testing
This article is nuts!
I don't care because I've had a vasectomy. I know for a fact my sperm motility is 0 as I've had it tested. I can use a laptop, wear boxer briefs or bike shorts, and if it fries the tails of a couple of my swimmers no loss. They can't get past the Ti clips and the air gap. If they can, well then our next kid will be able to walk through the fuckin' walls.
Mind you, my primary form of contraception is never having sex. My wife hates to try (her idea of foreplay is, "I think I'm drunk enough. Go.") and I had to give up after years of nothing but bad sex followed by 30 minutes of her crying afterwards. I'm no good for entertainment, no good for reproduction. What good am I?
I don't want to post any more. I'm sad.
---
ECHELON is a government program to find words like bomb, jihad, plutonium, assassinate, and anarchy.
What about the Logitech Comfort Lapdesk? My wife has one of these things and with a laptop sitting on it none of the heat even touches your body.
Good news,
When the laptop is on my lap , the only likely thing my spermatozoon is going to hit is the lid, and I already have enuff puters already
Still better than this (NSFW)
This has to be one of the topics that Ballmer privately tweets.
"Flyin' in just a sweet place,
Never been known to fail..."
So who actually uses a laptop on his/her lap? I never do. It is not a sperm or a skin burn thing - I just never do. Just becuase they have the dumb name of laptop doesn't mean you have to use them on your lap. There are other more suitable surfaces in most environments!
http://www.acetonestudio.com
... below 7200RPM y'r nuts are safe!
I saw this article posted on Fail blog as a Fail. This doesn't seem very original.
Mind you, my primary form of contraception is never having sex. My wife hates to try (her idea of foreplay is, "I think I'm drunk enough. Go.") and I had to give up after years of nothing but bad sex followed by 30 minutes of her crying afterwards. I'm no good for entertainment, no good for reproduction. What good am I?
I don't want to post any more. I'm sad.
I wish this didn't make me laugh so hard. Now I feel bad. nah, no i don't.
There is a material that is two sheets with a ribs between them leaving an air gap. Easy way to keep your gonads cool.
... So that's how they're made...
Great. Now I don't have mod points. I would like to mod this awesome.
Now this is real important. PROTECT MY BALLS! Lets fighting love....Lets fighting love....
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Not wanting to add to your woes, but if she really hated sex with you so much, either you were doing it wrong or there was something really wrong with her.
Sara
Designer, Gamer, Macgrrl in an XP World
Well, it had been great for long time (we've been together for 15 years), but about about five years ago (after the second kid) it started hurting her after she'd climax so she'd start dreading it and then it just went to hell. It doesn't matter what we do, it hurts. But the crying wasn't from physical pain, it's from how she feels about us.
When I told her I just couldn't take it anymore she told me she felt relief and we haven't even tried since.
---
ECHELON is a government program to find words like bomb, jihad, plutonium, assassinate, and anarchy.
If a guy has something hot on his lap and he doesn't do anything about it, perhaps he shouldn't reproduce.
its far-far worse to have to balance one's ten-year-old Power Macintosh G4/500 DP (Gigabit Ethernet) tower on one's lap; all 30.0 lbs of it with its curvy front base "handle" poking into one's crotch.
With its weight, and the cumbersome shape, the heat passing out through its base is the least of one's worries. Now then, that's why (when a desk is in use) a desktop configuration does have an advantage.
(David Bowman, EVA near HUGE Monolithic Win-PC in orbit around Jupiter) "My God - its full of Malware!"