Muscle Mice
SilasMortimer writes "Researchers from the University of Colorado at Boulder have accomplished that for which humankind has been desperate since the dawn of civilization: turning sad, injured regular mice into angry, beefed-up super-mice. Well, okay, there's no official word in the article about the rodents' emotional states, but certainly when stem cells were injected into mice with leg injuries, the muscle grew back... almost twice as big as it was before the injury [abstract, supplemental material (PDF)]. This has many exciting implications, from better healing after injuries to slowing down the aging process to a spike in the number of cases of Generalized Anxiety Disorder among cats. I, for one, refuse to perpetuate outdated memes. (But feel free to make up for the lack.)"
If these mice are bred with those given previously discovered treatments to make them smarter and fearless, we might be in trouble.
Stem-cell-enhanced fingers may lead to first posts.
Finally!
I for one welcome our new fearless super intelligent roid rage mice overlords
All medical research PR sounds like a viagra spam to me.
Fuck systemd. Fuck Redhat. Fuck Soylent, too. Wait, scratch the last one.
So once this is perfected will steroid use by professional athletes go down? And will it be possible to detect usage of this enhancement technique?
I, for one, welcome our new angry beefed-up super mice overlords.
. . . thought that article was going to be about how my PC could build up my right bicep.
(Because my right needs help catching up to my left)
My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii. She sells C shells by the seashore.
Don't be too sure! Imagine they enhance the "right" kind of muscle to improve the mice reproduction rate, let's say by 10x fold. Soon we won't have any food left to eat and will be dying of diseases transmitted by mice in a quantity that could displace an ocean.
"So, what do you want to do tonight Muscles?"
"Same thing we do every night Pinky, PUMP SOME IRON!"
I can only start to see how this could go wrong. From tumors to having a lung grown in the leg... I fear we might have face some interesting surprises during more extensive testing.
For all the humor in the title, there's hopefully just as much promise.
My doctor recently told me that my twenty-something year old skeleton is basically aged like a geriatric's. The implications long term are not good. If they can make stem cells grow bone and muscle, I might not spend my fifties fighting infections in a wheelchair. It's bad enough not being able to ride a bike before I'm 30.
"Sometimes, I think Trent just needs a cup of hot chocolate and a blankie." -Tori Amos on Nine Inch Nails
"Machine-guns for Algernon"
I've fallen off your lawn, and I can't get up.
Mice evolved to survive by breeding. They are already running at the limits of reproduction rate for an organism of their size. Twenty day gestation, and ready for a new litter to be concieved almost as soon as the previous is out. A female can pop out upwards of a hundred offspring each year easily, all of whome will be ready to breed themselves in three months. It's just not getting any higher.
Here comes the New Incredible Hulk. No need for gamma rays, nor anger feed to turn into a green monster. Gone the urge to get new large clothes after each transformation..
The New Hulk version 2.0 doesn't turn green. He has gone through several stem cells injections, he stays big, and doesn't need anger management classes... But it will be still quite unwise to piss him off.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxoake3YY2s Nolan Cheese Commerical
Restore the madness of youth's lechery
World records will be shattered.
Many more bones will also be shattered as well.
Tendons, ligaments, joints will be rupturing, snapping, popping.
They will sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies...SNAP! CRACKLE! POP!
Then there's the pesky cardiopulmonary support upgrades needed.
Obligatory car analogy:
In my misspent youth, I watched two guys install/hack an 1800 horsepower Allison V-1710 (V-12) form a decommissioned P-51 Mustang fighter, into a 1967 Ford Mustang.
To make a long story short, they ended up with a piece by failed piece custom drive-train. Then came the suspension/tire mods to actually use all that power.
The fateful test run at the drag strip started...the christmas tree turned green, the car launched...tires smoking, the car reared up about a foot when the wheelie-bars halted the rise. So far, all is well.
Then too many things happened at the same time: the rear tires shredded, the body/frame twisted so fast and to such an extent that both doors popped opened, the rear glass and windshield shattered and flew outward, and the hood came unlatched-but was held by the safety cable.
They never got the doors to stay shut after that and scrapped the project.
Down With Slashdot BETA!!! I've been around the corner and seen the oliphant; you can only abuse me from your perspecti
It's ...............
Biker mice from Mars!
I guess it could put a new meaning into the question: "Are you a man or a MOUSE?"
I am anarch of all I survey.
Diary Entry:
"... But then I needed to gain pure knowledge of the destruction I had wrought, so I shall kiss the lead. Goodbye."
Really though fyngyrz, you touched on a hobby project of mine, let's call it the "Algernon curse", which in storylines means that we can't stand to see someone get a pure enhancement, so it always gets written with a deadly downside.
Bonus points if you can dig up the obscure episode of 6 Million Dollar Man with William Shatner on this exact theme.
My first Journal Entry ever, in 8 years! http://slashdot.org/journal/365947/aphelion-scifi-fantasy-horror-poetry-webzine
That means that Mighty Mouse is on the way.
How long before they bottle this up and sell it to the public?
I, for one, welcome our outdated meme perpetuating overlords!
the cure for the anxious cats was discovered long ago, it has something to do with giving them cheezebugers,,,
I don't know the meaning of the word 'don't' - J
Hah! Algernon's Curse. That is a really good name for it. I don't know which is worse - the more literal versions, where someone physically suffers for their enhancement, or the old cyberpunk-y style metaphysical ones where people become less "human". In either case, it sounds like the twin brother of Caveman Science Fiction.
Aide-toi, le Ciel t'aidera - Jeanne D'Arc.
Very useful information, many thanks!
One is a genius the other is insane.
Truth is a matter of perspective. Wear the other guy's shoes before you dismiss him.
...the obscure episode of 6 Million Dollar Man with William Shatner on this exact theme.
Is that the one where Shatner is wearing the bigfoot costume and Steve runs around in an ice tunnel with aliens?
Sorry, that was Andre the Giant, not Shatner. You mean this one.
Tiller's Rule: Never use a word in written form that you've only heard and never read. You will end up looking foolish.
Notice that the growth only occurs if the muscle was injured. This implies that there's a valid biological mechanism inspiring the body builders' slogan "No pain, no gain!"
Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
Fist of the North Star, anyone?
Oo! When the first "Tetsuo from Akira incident" happens, I want video.
Omnes tuae crepidines sunt nobis sunt. Ascendo tuum!
Wait, now. But the Grinch's heart was swelled by receiving Christmas cheer.
Perhaps we've been wasting a lot of time and money with unnecessary research.
Omnes tuae crepidines sunt nobis sunt. Ascendo tuum!
Actually, whether or not you're joking with that statement, it might be something very interesting to infertile people who wish to have children. As these are stem cells, I imagine they could fabricate gametes as well as anything else. In fact, it might even be a safer exercise to start out with. Gametes are fairly simple, they aren't dependent on connected cells for life, and since they don't divide on their own, I imagine there'd be less risk, as well.
It seems more ethically clean and if it worked, it would make tons of money that could further fund research. And what we'd learn even from this would be invaluable research in and of itself. I'll be surprised if no one is already looking into this.
As far as the joke goes, I know from experience that having large testicles isn't all it's cracked up to be. Mine, for instance, have the very uncomfortable habit of always bouncing to the left and to the right. Though I might feel a bit better if they were held every night.
\m/,
Omnes tuae crepidines sunt nobis sunt. Ascendo tuum!
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
You are assuming too much, and doing too much 'reading between the lines'.
The pair I chronicled were successful semi-pro drag racers. They did not have Engineering degrees, formal or factory training, but had a proven track record for 'making cars go fast' to the drag racing community.
The purpose and focus of my posting the comment and car analogy was on topic for the 'Muscle Mouse' discussion, so I purposely did not go into long detail.
So, for YOUR narrow minded and OFFTOPIC comment reply, here goes:
The two guys, Dick and Al Jamison, were semi-pro drag racers. They earned their living by drag racing, and supported their hobbies by building Chevy race engines, drivetrains,
suspension mods, drag car frames, etc. for the region. (Hint: they made their primary means of living from WINS at the racetrack!)
I 'worked' there as a 'gopher' in 1972. I say 'worked' as I spent all of my spare time there...cleaning up the shop, fetching drinks, whatever.
In 1975 I was hired as an engine builder, following a blueprint...by 1976 I was designing the blueprints.
We were reliably getting 3.24 hp/cuid with a normally aspirated Chevy small block.
For example:
My 1969 Chevy Malibu with a 350 cubic inch displacement engine(cuid) dynomometer readings under load was 1138 horsepower, which run a best 1/4 mile time of 10.98 seconds. I usually ran in the 11.0-11.1 second bracket by unbolting the exhaust, installing the 5.56:1 gears in the Dana-60 'Quick change" rear-end, changing the rear tires for a pair of 'racing slicks'(one in the back seat, and one in the trunk to get there), and re-jetting/retuning the carb, and using a 50% H20/Chlorox bleach solution for the burnout in the staging lane. The driveshaft permanently had a restraining loop, a clutch shatter pack shield was in place around a highly modded TH400 automatic(well, semi-auto, heh!) tranny, with a Lenko Ratchet shifter, and a Line-Lock system on the brakes.
We(Jamison's Racing) had a 1964 Chevy II with one of our 454 engines running sub-10 second quarter-miles.
It was a 'what if' project to them.
BTW, the Ford 9" rearend was state of the art at the time, and 'bullet-proof'.
The Allison was later sold at an extreme profit.
Way to make assumptions, post 'offtopic', and confuse the facts...
The 'first time' that you allude to came after the trials and tribulations of the prototypes, and after they had only considered legal aspects for the Super Stock class of drag racers, using the best technology of the times.
Yeah, they could of applied this to the Unlimited class and succeeded, but they were competing in the Super Stock class.
It was a meant to be a basic/generic ONTOPIC car analogy, assclown.
Down With Slashdot BETA!!! I've been around the corner and seen the oliphant; you can only abuse me from your perspecti
I for one welcome our Hulkified squeaky furry Overlords
Drag racing is a dangerous and exacting sport, pushing mechanical and material science to the hairy edge and beyond - I wish you well with it.
Assclown was a bit much though.
Assclown was a bit much though.
You're correct, and my apologies also.
I had left a lot of info out just to keep it short and ontopic. Sorry for the confusion.
Down With Slashdot BETA!!! I've been around the corner and seen the oliphant; you can only abuse me from your perspecti