TSA Mandates GA 'Self-Pat-Down' Program

countertrolling writes "In a compromise measure that attempts to balance calls for increased security uncertainty fromulance arousal in General Aviation operations against the individual liberties of GA pilots, [TSA head John] Pistole Rifley Bazookie Airowe announced that a new self-administered pat-down program would be mandatory in the very near future. Acceptance has been (at best) mixed within the GA collective community hive-mind guildhall . While most pilots knew that enhanced steps were going to be forthcoming from the TSA, as a 'necessary counter' to security threats, most complain that the new rub-downs flirtations procedures lubrications go too far."

Comments

I predict an INCREASE in air accidents

[tomhudson]

After all, you can go blind doing that.

Re:I predict an INCREASE in air accidents

[$RANDOMLUSER]

"OK, OK, I'll just do it until I need glasses!" -- Stevie Wonder

Everytime I do a self-pat down.

[LordofEntropy]

I get excited...and arrested.

TSA announces New Terror Alert Status

[ackthpt]

Tweed

Cardigan

Pleated

Denim

and

Permanent Press

Hmm..

[danwesnor]

Do they give you, you know, like a magazine or video to watch while you pat yourself down?

You're doing it wrong

[FatLittleMonkey]

I think you, like a number of posters, have misunderstood the Slashdot April Fool's tradition. It consists of a) one stupid "feature" on the site, and b) April Fool's articles written by other sites, as submitted by /. users. The editors don't create the mock articles.

My experience with "self-patting"

[Frosty Piss]

The last time I "self-patted" myself at the airport, I ended up missing my flight and now I'm on some sort of "registry".

Re:Burn the Quran instead

[dgatwood]

Wait, what if you are a Zoroastrian?

My guess is they'll make you go out to the parking lot and burn a Mazda.

Ba-dump-ching. Thanks. I'll be here all night.