Can't Get a Real Girlfriend? Get a "Cloud" Girlfriend

An anonymous reader writes "In news that could make many lonely tech savvy men have more of a spring in their steps is the launch of 'Cloud Girlfriend' which is a start up tech company based in California whose service is to match a user to his perfect match. The sad part is the relationship will only be internet based. Reported by Sara Yin of PC Mag, 'Cloud Girlfriend' will be free as David Fuhriman co-founder is quoted with saying 'We allow people to define their ideal self, find their perfect girlfriend or boyfriend and connect and interact as if that person existed. We will fulfill the 4 steps on the landing page, but not create any fake accounts.'"

Comments

Mockery

[Sonny Yatsen]

Well, as atrociously bad as I am at dating, it's always nice to know that there will always be somebody sadder and more pathetic than you.

Re:Mockery

[maxwell demon]

Chatting with a bot and pretending it's your girlfriend has got to be the saddest case of self-delusion I've ever heard of.

What about chatting with your girlfriend and pretending it's a bot? :-)

Re:Mockery

[misexistentialist]

Western women are just as concerned with you being a provider, and divorce isn't unlikely if you start earning less. Being a doctor in the West makes ladies swoon; because of economic differences an average Western salary has the same effect in some foreign lands.

Re:Mockery

[dcherryholmes]

Or, instead of "gold diggers," they might be women who view security and stability in a man about the same way we view a huge rack or willingness to play WoW with us. You know, like pretty much every girl on the planet. Of course gold diggers, users, what have you are out there, but I don't think you can ascribe this entire phenomenon to just that. Rather, it's probably that any westerner of even modest means is, relatively, fantastically rich compared to the locals.

Re:Mockery

[Paracelcus]

Just Google "Russian Brides" to see how pathetic, lonely American men are being used as piggy banks by eastern European grifters.

1. Look at the picture (wow!)
2. Check the name (there seem to be only 5 or 6)
3. Age, Education, Profession (She's 18, a university grad, and a doctor)
4. None of them smoke, drink or have criminal backgrounds

And they all live in a hotel in Bucharest with a drug addict named Igor!

Re:Mockery

[Sectoid_Dev]

All women are concerned with how well you will provide for them, as well as protect them. It's a fundamental part of human nature, and it's ridiculous to pretend otherwise.

I would contend there is something more subtle at work with the male/female relationship when it comes to money. Yes, most of the time it manifests as women being impressed and relieved that the man they have chosen is a good provider and they can enjoy some of the nicer things in life and birth their children into a world of more opportunities, stability and less hardship. But that paints with a very wide brush and there are some women who do enjoy competing out in the world and making the cash for themselves and don't look down at their man who makes less, IF and ONLY IF, he brings something else that she values into the relationship. He might be the source of stability in her chaotic world. Perhaps he is very family oriented with a large loving family of his own while she had been raised with family dysfunction and rage. The point being is that there is always a reason that a woman CHOOSES a man. It may not be a good reason, but it doesn't always have to be about the money.

Hmm...

[Lunaritian]

I wonder if I can confuse it by saying that my perfect girlfriend would be real and not just bits on a server far away.

Needs one more feature

[hellfire]

All they need now is a blow job attachment via USB to your computer, and they will end up making beeeellllioooons!

Re:Eliza ?

[0100010001010011]

The internet. Where Men are Men.
And the Women are Too.

Re:Do not want

[BarryJacobsen]

Any "relationship" that doesn't include at least the possibility of getting a blowjob is no relationship at all.

I think you'd have some lesbians that would argue that's not true...

Re:How to monetize this?

[Sonny Yatsen]

It's really easy to monetize this. Just make microtransactions available where you can buy gifts or whatever for your virtual girlfriend. People already spend stupid amounts of money to buy crap like a virtual fountain for their virtual house on their virtual farm. Imagine if they also had some sort of virtual emotional attachment to go along with it.

Re:Do not want

[Nidi62]

Any "relationship" that doesn't include at least the possibility of getting a blowjob is no relationship at all.

So, marriage doesn't count as a real relationship?

self gratification

[fermion]

In one of the books I read as a young person, self gratification was depreciated as a viable form of expression because if overused it could prevent the development of reasonable normal form of social interaction. It is important for most people to go and learn to play, communicate, get rejected, make compromises, and actually have real friends and lovers, at least for portions of their lives.

So my issue with this is it is another step in the isolationism that really is not healthy. While some might say this is good as one can go to parties and text and receive texts from your long distance relationship, so not to be embarrassed. Some people might find you more attractive because you are in a relationship, but at some point the truth will emerge. That users of this service are losers who can't participate in a valid relationship. And dating is not expensive. Hiring prostitutes is expensive. Looking for people who meet pre existiing expectations is expensive. But dating is just going out and having fun. Not Expensvie.

Re:self gratification

[slim]

You make it sound so easy, like "Just go out on a date!". Perhaps it is easy for you, but what if a guy is just told to "F#@k off!" by any girl he approaches. (OK, the polite ones just walk away without saying anything).

They all did that to me in my 20's.

Did you approach strangers, apropos of nothing, and ask them out? I don't think that works for most mere mortals. You really need to have communicated on some other pretext before broaching the idea of a date. Introduced by friends; met at some social/leisure activity; and yes, introduction services.

And even then, a first date should be positioned as nothing more than that -- some time spent together for fun, with no expectations of it leading to more. If it does, great, but if not, you've had fun. (Of course, you might hate each other's company; chalk those up to experience)

Not that I realised any of this in my early 20s either.

To The Cloud!

[NoSleepDemon]

I can almost picture the Win7 advert... It's that loser from the old ad still sitting outside of his dorm room while his room-mate is banging a random girl. He's sitting there, all done watching whatever hentai he downloaded, and then... Eureka! "To The Cloud!" He shouts, as he loads up Habbo Hotel.

Re:Eliza ?

[need4mospd]

And the horses are men too.

Long story...

Re:Do not want

[El Torico]

Of all the porn acts I've seen, a woman fellating a strap-on being worn by another woman is one that makes the least sense. Who's that arousing?

The guys watching.

Perfect Girlfriend...

[CFBMoo1]

My perfect girl friend has/is...

* Lots of curves.
* Smart and able to help me when I make mistakes.
* Always there when I want to do something.
* Always there when I don't want to do something.
* A pretty smile.
* Good at helping me with problems.

*** PROCESSING ***
> Please log in to Facebook now to meet your new girlfriend!

*Opens Browser and logs in*

*Whirrrrrlllll TINK TINK TINK*

From Clippy'etta: Hello handsome! It looks like you are trying to find a girlfriend today!

From Me: NooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOO!

Re:Do not want

[Dunbal]

No, it counts as a mental illness.