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A "Throne" Fit For a Tech King
WrongSizeGlass writes "PCWorld has an article on Kohler's new hi-tech toilet. The Numi comes complete with a detachable touch screen remote; motion-activated lid and seat; integrated air dryer; a heated seat; feet warmers; ambient lighting; built-in speakers with FM radio and an MP3 player input jack. If you have $6,300 to flush down the drain on a toilet this is for you."
Go away! Baitin'.
The World is Yours.
Not up to the standards of an average high-tech toilet in Japan, but it's nice to see the US at least stepping up to toilet tech.
http://www.geoffreylandis.com
Does the seat have a notch in the front? No? Back to the drawing board then.
May the Maths Be with you!
Eww, I'm not touching that!
Can you watch Netflix on it?
Does it remind anyone of the integrated toilet seat tv of Idiocracy ?
Non-Linux Penguins ?
as often as not. that could change, after the weapons are gone. we'll all poop easier.
If it does not have its own "I" "P" address, I am not interested.
You can't handle the truth.
A couple of questions.
1) Do these high-tech toilets mean you don't need any more toilet paper? Someone told me they spray a beam of water up where it's needed. Which I assume means it needs some kind of image recognition...
2) If an AI is sufficiently advanced as to be distinguished from a human, does it have a right to not stare at people's goatses?
Does it keep logs?
The guy who made this thing said the luxury toilet market is "coming back to the u.s."... was it ever here, or is this just his desperate attempt of getting everyone on his bandwagon? His toilet has a touch screen, FM radio, speakers, aux in jack, heated footrest/seat and ambient lighting (your bathroom doesn't have enough lights already?). Isn't that a far cry from what's already available? His toilet costs about $6300. Other toilets (skip to 1:30) have similar features and cost 12-15 times less. He's just another fraudster, inventing a high priced market where there doesn't need to be one. I call slashvertisement.
Twinstiq, game news
I didn't read TFA, but does this thing clean itself? I've seen many self cleaning toilet seats in public restrooms in Europe. You would think for $6300 you shouldn't have to clean a toilet ever again.
If you are spending enough time sitting on the toilet to justify things like heated seats and feet warmers, radio and mp3 player jack, and a $6300 price tag then you might want to rethink your diet.
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-etoilet-to-revolutionize-online-shitting,633/
?
Read radical news here
Because with all the time people will now be spending in the loo, hemorrhoids are sure to ensue.
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For that price, it better recline!
I used to laugh about the toilets that wash and dry you. I don't any longer. I went to do some work for a few weeks in Seoul, South Korea. Both the hotel and the place I worked had them. I tried them out, and found out what I had been missing all these years. The basic ones have these functions:
- Warm toilet seats - this really helps to get things moving in the morning
- Washing, front and back - say goodbye to skid marks.
- Drying
Anyway, I told my wife over Skype how wonderful they were, and she laughed at me. Then she came to visit me in Korea, tried them, and suddenly, it was a must have appliance for when I get back. Since the power in Korea is different from North America (220V with different type of plug), and the instructions were in Korea, I ended up ordering one that had the basics, as well as a remote control. It took me about 1.5 hours to install, but about an hour of that was poring over the entire manual to make sure I understood how to do it. The actual install took about 30 minutes.
We both enjoy using it, and we hardly ever use toilet paper anymore. Some people might be put off by drying time vs. wiping, but as I like to tell people: "What's your hurry? Bring a book."
Here is the really funny thing. My wife has gone viral with this info. She told her pottery group, the girls at the dentist, and countless others abut this. I have female relatives and friends visiting more now, some almost embarrassingly come over to "try out the toilet". Almost all of them are in the process of buying or attempting to convince their significant others to purchase one. I'm now the accidental "Toilet Tech", as I answer questions about purchasing and installation for them.
After they use it, I've received all kinds of comments like: "If I met a guy with one of these, I'd never leave", and many more in the same vein, I got to thinking that the average guy would do well to have one of these when they finally bring home the woman of their dreams. All things being equal, for some gals, the bathroom will be a deal breaker on whether they will spend the night. It just might be worth investing $400-$1000 on a Vorpal Toilet Seat.
Does it says "your business is appreciated" in a robotic voice once you're done?
They model this thing in a glass house as though that's where you'd take a dump - right next to the window.
People in glass houses shouldn't show thrones.
sig: pv qid
The real question is, when will it have video conferencing/voip (no more will you have to get up and answer the phone when you're on the throne) and be able to run Tmost current multiplayer games (for people who are just too hardcore for loo breaks)
"How fine you look when dressed in rage."
No Twitter or Facebook status updates?! I want my friends to be alerted every time I use this device. Every step along the way, in agonizing detail.
If it went wrong, presumably you'd need a dump analyser?
The Neorest 600 has been out for years with the same features and is over $2,000 cheaper.
OK, it doesn't have the MP3 player, but I think you'll still have change left after you buy one.
That's just the only one I know of, I'm sure there's other advanced toilets available.
This sentence no verb.
Gives a whole new meaning to "DoS by flooding".
Bet the Numi Tea people http://www.numitea.com/ are going to be, er, pissed...
None of the crap on your page "have similar features" or even close to it. In fact, only one was actually a toilet, it cost $1500 and had no fancy electronics whatsoever. The rest where just lids, some of which had a couple of small electronic gadgets, none remotely on the scale of the toilet in TFA. And yes, there was a huge demand for high tech toilets in the US in the late 90s, but it died out with the dot com crash for whatever reason.
So this is why the Govmt is looking at the Male/Female recognition technology!! So they know where/how to spray and shit with these new toilets.
I'd get one, I spend hours sitting on one every day, with no advanced features like this one. Can't wait to run linux on it :)
I read that the Toto version of the water closet/bidet combo used over 400 hundred employees for the preset locations. I wonder how they did that - ask for volunteers, have HR post a company wide memo, just grab the first 400 people through the door?
And is overall stupid.
mp3 player jack... what nimrod designed this? Bluetooth A2DP!
Finally what idiot would buy it, if you can afford a $6300 crapper, then you would already have whole house audio with an audio zone in the bathroom that has far better speakers than this toilet can.
heated footrest.. wtf? again you would already have a heated floor.
This thing is a non starter, anyone that can afford it already has better than what it can deliver already in their current bathroom.
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
That's not even amusing. Kill yourself.
It's the only useful treatment for mental illness and unlike your boring paranoid "caps free" rants would actually accomplish something.
Do it on streaming video so your message will be heard. Post the link to 4chan and you may become a meme. Use a decent camera (you won't need your money for anything else) since grainy suicide footage is poor wank fodder.
"This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
It is not clear from the link if it is going to have a warm water bidet. No dear, Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi, adding a T junction at the gate vale and hand shower is definitely not acceptable. Seats with integrated bidet costs only 700$. But it too does not implement the warm water delivery correctly. If some one makes an electric heater with a thermostat, with the temp sensor in the outlet, and the nozzles pointed down till out put water reaches the correct temp in the integrated bidet-seat, there is a killing to be made in the America serving the East/South Asian population.
sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
Successful troll is successful!
In a world without fences and walls, who needs gates and windows?
Regardless of what throne you sit upon, sanitary alignment within the restroom is extremely important. For example, the trash can should be located within close proximity to the door. That way, you can wash your hands and use the paper towel to open the door prior to throwing the towel in the trash.
Yes, call me strange and unusual. But this is my "holy crusade". Public restrooms (in fact all restrooms) should have sanitary alignment.
Life is not for the lazy.
All I can think of is the commercial for the pregnancy tester that says "It's the most sophisticated piece of technology you will ever pee on". I guess THAT isn't true anymore.
Or at least taking the piss!
I guess it's a neat idea if you're feeling flush.
But I still think it's a bit potty.
initial thought:I want one.
second thoughts: when I picture this with black curly hair and urine splatters on the seat/down the side and shit smears in the bowl - I suddenly become perfectly fine with the toilet I already have.
sure you can clean it, and occaionally mine gets cleaned - but every once in a while EVERY toilet looks like that
where are the 3 seashells?
Also, does it run on Linux?
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
Bud, sit down. Let me tell you the story of the Ferguson. Now these babies were made in Maine, you know, at the little Ferguson factory. It's the Stradivarius of toilets. And my Dad could play it like a violin.
Yup, I'll never forget the time my dad took me to Maine to visit the factory. I had to go to the bathroom. And I begged him to pull into a truck stop. He said no, wait until we get there! It'll be worth it! It was!
http://www.toiletmuseum.com/faq.html#Q6
It's residential only until they get one with a notch.
... it's not made by Apple, or it wouldn't support Flush.
No bluetooth or voice activated commands? How is this better than peeing on a tree?
I8-D
I wonder if they were security conscious when they developed the remote? ... a brave new world of hacking into your neighborhood toilets, adjusting the temperatures, playing sounds, flushing, raising the seat, perhaps on some models even activating the bidet....
that is the question
with FM radio and an MP3 player input jack
Fail!
Seriously, it's about $5 worth of electronics for a USB port that accepts a flash stick. Get it right folks.
Moderating "-1, Disagree" is simple censorship. Have the guts to post your opinion.
for automatic Twitter updates.
It looks cool, but the problem is Kohler makes mediocre products these days - all style, no substance. Parts that used to be made out of brass are now being made out of plastic. My brother is a Master Plumber (a licensed and accredited distinction, like "Professional Engineer") and he loathes their current product. He like Toto for high-tech toilets, but his favorite is Gerber for flushing power and reliability. Put a Toto seat on a Gerber Powerflush and you have a much better toilet than anything that Kohler makes, for a fraction of the price.
No, really. ;)
I sure hope you can upload anonymously.
So long, overly complicated Japanese toilet!
Here is the clip from youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_7367ka5Ew
"You know too much"
A motion-sensing lid, huh? And I think it's hard to keep my two-year old from playing with the toilet *now*
So to upgrade... do you flush the bios?
How does it handle backups?
Does it support pipework neutrality?
Or pee-er to pee-er streaming?
Is it torrent-ready?
How long before someone connects it to twitter?
oops - too late: http://hackaday.com/2009/05/05/twittering-toilet/
List of requirements for true geek's king throne:
0) Must be in a room full of monsters.
1) When looting while confused, must exchange gold for randomly generated throne room monster.
2) When sitting, should respond with "You feel very comfortable here" or should do one of the following:
________a) Grant a wish or increase your luck.
________b) Allow you to genocide something.
________c) Identify things in you are carrying.
________d) Make you feel much better by healing you completely, curing you from sickness, blindness, and wounded legs.
________e) Gain the ability to see things that are invisible, magically form a map of the entire floor in your mind, or completely confuse you.
________f) Gain some random attribute.
________g) Loose some amount of a random attribute, but gain hit points!
________h) Shock you, and make you lose hit points!
________i) Forcibly take away all the gold you are carrying.
________j) Make a lot of monsters appear around you.
________k) Either blind you or randomly curse what you are carrying.
________l) Either wake all monsters on your floor, or teleport your naked butt somewhere random on the floor.
________m) Turn your mind into a pretzel.
Whereupon the said throne may vanish in a puff of smoke.
Upon kicking it, depending upon how lucky you are, you would either destroy the throne, breaking loose 200GP, and exercise your dexterity... (well you could possibly fail to do so and injure yourself), or if you are lucky dislodge some gems and gold... and/or trigger a trap door.
That, my friends, would be a true geek's throne, in a true geek's throne room.
Of course you're buying just lids, that's the whole point! Why do you want a $6300 designer toilet that does the same thing as those lids? Why are you going to replace the parts that already work just fine? Because you want an ugly cinder box with a flat panel instead? Yeah, that'll go real far on the market. That's exactly why they only sell the lids, because that's all you need!