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Robotic "Tongue" Lets You French Kiss Over The Internet
If you think the idea of french kissing someone over the internet with a robotic tongue is kind of gross, go outside and enjoy your afternoon. For those of you still sitting here, The University of Electro-Communications in Tokyo has just what you've been looking for. The Kiss Transmission Device is a motion-sensing receptacle that records your tongue's movements and then sends that information to a corresponding machine in your partner's mouth. From the article: "In addition to real-time smooching, the Kiss Transmission Device can be programmed to 'remember' specific rotations. The pre-recorded information can then be accessed by multiple recipients. According to the inventor, this could be a good way for celebrities to get closer to their fans." The University gave no word on the possibility of tentacles in future models.
This is epic...in an extremely awkward and creepy way. It's nice to know that I could always have Courtney Love make out with me without catching the herp.
...after I invent a device that allows you to punch people in the face over the Internet.
Yeah, this made for kissing... sure. :)
Reminds me of F-U-F-Me
http://www.welookdoyou.com/fufme/index.shtml.html
I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet -Stanislaw Lem
A way for the Slashdot crowd to get a french kiss.
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Could this be used to help identify a user before allowing access to a computer? Iris scan, fingerprint scan THEN you must french kiss your computer juuuust right. Or an updated form of captcha for websites, just thinking...
This is a cool way to start prototyping, but a great kiss requires lips *and* tongue *and* a head. All of these parts move together for a truly great kiss.
Of course, then there is the holding and caressing part.
I don't see how any machine could ever be able to replace my wife's kiss. I told her before got married several years ago that I have a rule, no 'quickie' kisses allowed. Either kiss, or don't kiss. Perfunctory pecks are not acceptable. Each one is different and unique, and deserves to be savored.
I rarely read replies, it's my opinion and if you thought about your opinion a little more, I'm OK with that.
records your tongue's movements and then sends that information to a corresponding machine in your partner's mouth.
Are you sure that's where they've put their receiver?
On a more serious note: This appears to have been invented by a geek resident in their mom's basement. Anyone who knows about kissing (particularly the French kind) knows about the importance of feedback and the need to modify one's tongue behavior to it in real time.
Have gnu, will travel.
my favorite underutilized internet term
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teledildonics
were you to invent a transport protocol for teledildonics, you better call it PPintheTP, i don't care how you arrive at the abbreviation
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
you just know that the perceived economic windfall will eventually hit upon a commercially viable (if physically debilitating) implementation of telesex. oh how the voyeur regulators and social sermonizers will rage upon that day. (just hope i live to see it)
A famous rock star was sued today by an outraged mother whose daughter played his recording on the Kiss Transmission Device. The mother wants it to be ruled as child molestation and to be awarded infinity plus one dollars as damages for this heinous crime.
Wondering about the "instabilities" caused by latency...
If Pandora's box is destined to be opened, *I* want to be the one to open it.
I can see a lot of horror movie scenes where people are killed by infected french-kiss devices spinning with more than 2000 rpm. Creepy.
The University gave no word on the possibility of tentacles in future models.
Seriously. Japan will provide, it's inevitable.
Only a matter of time until it gets turned into a remote bj machine. I can see it now. 'LIVE girls giving REAL BJs! 5.99 per minute!'
In the mouth.... riiiight... uh huh, yep, that's where it will be... uh huh
The tyrant will always find a pretext for his tyranny - Aesop
...released today...
People have been doing things like this for years relating research into teledildonics (seriously, I'm not making that word up) but nobody has ever wanted to be the new Larry Flynt despite the obvious huge money making opportunities for someone willing to manufacture and deploy the specialized hardware.
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Natalie Portman is so hott!
In the olden days of Slashdot, there would have also been something about a Beowulf cluster of these. Ah, the good old days.
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SERENITY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not really, that kind of a device would have to be a lot more complicated. Plus, this sort of thing is going to block airflow, making any applications in speech therapy pretty useless.
So many ideas these days are really commonplace, but their execution and timing are key.
This whole french kissing over IP is really novel and surprised me.
Kudos to the inventor.
Oh, and can I get it with a Thunderbolt(tm) interface? I'll need that and a serious upgrade to my internet connection to properly sample my high speed tongue rate. Line up, ladies.
Why are you letting these clowns ruin our country?
A bent plastic tube on a spindle, that you spin round with your tongue, making a similar rig at the other end of the wire spin similarly? Wow. That's some invention, if you're 13 years old, and think French kissing is cool enough to... replicate (and I use that term with the utmost generosity).
A rotating straw does not feel anything like a kiss. I assume that nobody involved in this project has ever really kissed before.
this looks more like a tiny cock is being swirled around the guy's mouth rather than tiny tongue. It looks strange at best.
He should put some money into designing an anatomically correct, dynamic mouth replica for this, not toy around with a straw.
You can't handle the truth.
Imagine what happens when Stuxnet hits the device. The engineers working in Iran's nuclear program will all get dumped by their online girlfriends out of frustration.
This device does not simulate any sort of kiss. It is a straw. You stick it in your mouth. You twirl the straw around with your mouth. Somewhere else, someone else sticks a straw in their mouth, and, OH MY GOD, their straw twirls around in the exact same fashion you just twirled your straw. Wow.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slashdong
is this website run by someone named Commander Meat Taco?
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Oh come on, it's the obvious joke.
Best Slashdot Co
Robotic "Tongue" Lets Other People French Kiss Over The Internet.
-kgj
I thought he was referring to the obligatory Penny Arcade, iChoke-U: http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/8/1/
It wasn't until very recently that I encountered the Bash.org quote you mentioned. I'm curious which predates which, but I'm guessing it's the IRC quote rather than the comic.
What happens when this gets combined with chatroulette?
You know someone's going to come out with this: A ChatRoulette-French-Kissing-Over-The-Internet application. You get one of these "IP Tongues", sign up, specify whether you'd rather kiss a male or female (or either one) and suddenly you're kissing random people all over the world. Combine this with a "paid pro" feature where you get to "kiss" your favorite celebrities (read: porn stars) and the company could turn an instant profit.
If anyone makes a million dollars using this idea, just toss me a few thousand as thanks. ;-)
My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
The reputation isn't the problem. The problem is the equipment is expensive. There is at least one teledildonics service in place, but last I saw the equipment was $90 in the bargain bin and requires a $20/month service fee to utilize their servers. It's just not all that popular.
Now, when someone can figure out a $50 toy, or $100 toy set that you can use without putting your credit card into a monthly service fee database then you'll have a teledildonics millionaire.
Actually, there are tens of thousands of force feedback capable joysticks that could have molded replacements for the joystick itself and sold for bargain basement prices.
Ignoring the reputation issues, I'm shocked someone hasn't done all of this back when DirectInput started supporting Force Feedback. It's simple.
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What could possibly be creepier than too wake up and find the Burger King in bed w/ me?
All I can think of is, how many people on his team work with the same two test devices? Ewwwww..
the inventor hopes to replicate the sensations of breathing, saliva and taste in a future model.
I would probably focus more on making it FEEL and MOVE like a squishy tongue. That would be the killer enhancement. Still not sure I'd partake... but that'd be the logical direction to go... make it wet and squishy and more flexible.
What is a black kiss?
I don't know. Making out felt a bit laggy the first night.
Urban Dictionary knows.
25% Funny, 25% Insightful, 25% Informative, 25% Troll
Here are some other similar projects:
Touch-over-IP
Breath-over-IP
On the Internet no one knows you are a dog ... until now!
[Insert pithy quote here]
...are possible in the FUTURE!
for people over 35 it's a porn comic book series from the 80s
Oh Teledildonics, wherefore art thou?
Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"
The University gave no word on the possibility of tentacles in future models.
Any one else accidentally read this as 'testicles'?
Sure enough, the cow costume was hanging up next to the superhero outfit and sailors uniform. (S,Spud)
...from long distances. If someone were actually doing that in my mouth in person, I'd throw them out of my apartment.
Omnes tuae crepidines sunt nobis sunt. Ascendo tuum!