Slashdot Mirror
Face-Mounted Nose Stylus Created For Phones
Lanxon writes "Designer Dominic Wilcox has come up with a Pinocchio-style 'finger-nose stylus' that lets you use your phone hands free, reports Wired. He came up with the design after he found that he wanted to use his touchphone in the bath. A wet hand is not a good touchscreen navigation device, so he found himself using his nose to scroll, but found it hard to see precisely where his nose was touching the screen. The solution was to create a nose extension 'finger' that would allow for navigation while holding the phone firmly in his one dry hand."
Could just not use the phone in the bath....
a fing-longer, he's created a nose-longer.
We will bankrupt ourselves in the vain search for absolute security. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I never thought there'd be a way to look like even more of a douche than the bluetooth headset, but behold, society proves me wrong once again. Where there is a will, there is always more douchiness.
without the use of four letter words. Lots of them.
I hope he has put some money away for the eventual lawsuits claiming it made the user cross-eyed. Didn't he see the movie "The Jerk"?
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Michael Bolton: "You think the pet rock was a really great idea?" Tom Smykowski: "Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars."
fucking retarded.
In the photo he has a very dignified image. He surely looks very intelligent with that thing on, with or without the phone.
Now imagine his wife entering the bathroom and seeing him sitting there with that thing on his nose, saying, innocently, with big round eyes, and with a nasal voice, "Yes, honey ?"
The Opti-Grab device Steve Martin invented.
Instant iPad stylus!
Look closely at the picture. In his left hand, what is he holding? A book, with what? Maps. Why does he need that? His phone - which he's obviously addicted to - should have some sort of GPS and/or map app if he's that hooked to it.
Life. Is. Good.
So I can browse while i bathe.. yeah that's it, that's why I need a one-handed browsing tool.
Beyond that, whats wrong with the thumb of the hand you hold the phone with?
Apple called and... this guy answered his iphone using his plastic nose, but by the time he put the iphone next to his ear, Apple had already hung up on him. It was obviously a short call, but Wilcox insists that it was Steve Jobs who called him to offer him a job at Apple. Wilcox's mother, whose basement Wilcox inhabits, said she thought she could hear someone laughing his head off when Wilcox answered the phone, but Wilcox denies having heard Steve Jobs laughing at him and falling out of his chair.
Why not use the thumb on his "one dry hand"?
This story wasn't submitted on Apr 1 was it?
Simplifying his shower masturbation? Imagine the the horrible scene you couldn't un-see if you accidentally walked in on this "inventor" wearing this prosthetic nose and TCB (taking care of business)? the horror, the horror...
.. but not for the same reason I use my computer one handed frequently. ;)
Forget about the bathtub -- this is just what's needed for a great hands-free driving experience! Keep both hands safely on the wheel while nosing around on your phone...what's not to like? Everybody will want one!
I can envision the amount of mental jackassery that could have resulted in someone actually making and promoting this...thing. What I don't get is why Slashdot thinks it's worthy of any mention, notice, republication, or even ridicule.
If Steve endorses this, you will see it everywhere; it will be the new cool.
This looks stupid. If anyone needs me I'll be in my laptop privacy sweater. http://craziestgadgets.com/2008/04/16/laptop-body-sweater-wool-privacy-curtain/
Is it just me, or do you hate it when people say "Is it just me..."?
We can now have our iPhone in one hand, iPad in the other, and still use them both at the same time! We have now entered a new age of human productivity!
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
Hook that puppy up to the "french kiss" appliance and nose kiss your sweetie.
Granted, the whole concept of using an iPhone in the bath is silly, IMHO, I could see very legitimate real-world use for this in the disabled community.
My wife is a nurse on the ventilator unit at a local rehab hospital, and she tells me often of the setups people have there to use a laptop computer with head-mounted stylus units and such that don't work very well for some patients. But I could see a solution like this working wonderfully for quadriplegic or otherwise disabled people to use an iPhone or more likely an iPad.
So in other words... it's a dog emulator.
Even kinda looks like Snoopy:
http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2011-05/4/finger-nose-stylus/viewgallery#!image-number=2
Is it April 1st already!?
As a bonus he's all set for a bit of the old ultraviolence
Thought the article got posted on the wrong date...
Good God.
I had to double check that today wasn't April 1st. This has to be some kind of joke.
Why was the D-Pad removed? I really liked being able to navigate my Windows Mobile phone using just my thumb. Now it requires two hands to use a phone and the screen gets all gummed up from finger prints.
LIE!.... Yeah I know.. ha ha ha... *three slow claps*.
Well, that's depressing. Seriously, who would buy something like this? I use my phone (hell, even my laptop) in the tub *all the time* with no problem at all. Keep a hand dry, use your thumb. If you need both hands for whatever you're doing, keep a towel beside the tub. It's really not rocket science.
But, yeah. Laptops and phones in the tub for 6 years now, and I've never had a problem.
Meh.
What's wrong with his thumb? If he has to hold the phone up anyway... O_o
You can pick your friends and
you can pick your nose,
but you can't pick your friend's nose...
Only now, You can!
From the looks of it -- You can even pick your friend's nose with your nose.
maybe this thing has more use for stephen hawking than lazy feminine douchebags (a bath? really? you get manicured too?)
... for operating my touchscreen while holding my phone one-handed: it's called my thumb.
He uses it to send text messages to a girl that his shy friend is secretly in love with.
...greater cool factor.
http://www.edmironiuk.com/storage/tumblr_ks1s1jUVJ51qzyrq6o1_500.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1257430849473
"This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
At first I was thinking there would be some interesting... secondary... applications for this, then I realized this IS the secondary application. I think the ladies know what I'm talking about. Look ma, no hands!
First April 1st, now May 4th? Is this going to become all satire, all the time?
I just can't wait to see it when you get on the subway in the morning and instead of the characteristic white earbuds, have the people are wearing finger-nose styli!
i for one believe that it was a wet hand in the bath, while surfing the internet, that cause him to need to use his noses.
"You are still innocent until proven guilty. What's changed is what they do to innocent people." by notnAP (846325)
This frees up the hand not holding the phone for accomplishing other things in the bath.
I just hope this doesn't trigger a potential "Opti-Grab" incident..
"He came up with the design after he [saw A Clockwork Orange]"
There, I fixed that for you.
Viagra
Guess which adult item he stripped the silicon off of to "design" his strap on? I'll give you a hint, I already mentioned it.
I8-D
I dub the the "iCyranose"
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
All I see are comments that "this is stupid" as if the "inventor" really thinks this is a useful device. It's a statement, more art than anything. Did you click on some of the other things he has "invented", like the luxury, gold-plated skipping stones with leather carrying pouch. Pretty funny stuff.
...was to nose it a hair to the left
"Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish"
Albert Einstein
I've seen these for sale in large quantities in Venice.
The teledildonic French kiss adapter, discussed yesterday, might be useful in addition. Do people with these disabilities have more precise control over their tongue or their heads? It's probably a matter of personal preference. There are also those who communicate by puffing into a device, either in morse or some other code.
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, and he'll say "WHERE'S MY FISH, YOU IDIOT?"
In the picture, it almost looks like someone put on Hannibal Lechter's mask a little too tight.
(In a nasal voice) "I ate his liver, with some fava beans, and a niiiice chianti."
He's Lying
First it was the "remote kiss/tongue", now it's a nose extension for smartphones... There is another appendage that will eventually end up with an extension and "remote sensing" capability.
We play the game with the bravery of being out of range
It makes the wearer look like a f**king idiot.
I believe I saw something like this in "A Clockwork Orange"
Duuh.... So what's wrong with Farnsworth's Fing-Longer?
Gives a new meaning to hunt and "peck" ;)
Que the lawsuits!
Was I the only one who was reminded of Prof. Farnsworth's Fing-Longer? http://futurama.wikia.com/wiki/Fing-Longer
That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen.
"Hey, dicknose. Hit Return."
april first?....I hope so
www.RacquetUp.org - Helping Detroit Youth
So when you hit your forties and have to hold the phone farther away... do you just tell a lie?
A wet hand is not a good touchscreen navigation device, so he found himself using his nose to scroll, but found it hard to see precisely where his nose was touching the screen
Check the picture in TFA (not the one in the summary). I'll leave it as an exercise to the reader to guess what he's scrolling for.
Call in the dogs and piss on the fire, we're done. If this is what the species is inventing now the end must be near.
This aint Daytona and you aint Dale Earnhardt. So stop trying to draft on Interstate 40.
there's a contrap for that.
I recommend the name "iPhonnochio"
Everyone knows that the ever fashionble item of men's clothing, the codpiece, is worn in the groin area!
http://www.acetonestudio.com
One word: Optigrab
I have heard of people dialing their phones with their nose before. In cold weather, a gloved hand can't use the capacitive touchscreen, but you're nose will work just fine. It's not really "Hands Free" if you're still holding it with your hand.
Most often when it's cold and I have my gloves on. I end up using my nose to swipe and then tap a name to dial on my iPhone. What's annoying is I often have trouble hitting the speaker phone button after I dial. The iPhone sees my head as too close and turns off input to the screen.
Ouch!!! That hurt.
I have invented a device to also assist in using your phone in the bath! It is a cloth synthetic that dries your hands to a normal level to use the device effectively. I will call it the towel, my next invention is the feed bag for humans so we don't have to use our hands to mess with all that messy food either. Just apply the feed bag to your face and tighten the straps and chew away!
Really?
Designer Dominic Wilcox or Comedian Dominic Wilcox?
face dildos are already on the market.
The best invention since the 'Finglonger'!
As long as I don't have it surgically attached to my face. Wouldn't want Apple to start attaching the other end of the stylus to the butt hole of some other person...
nt
The Noselonger!
They whose government reduces their essential liberties for temporary security, receive neither liberty nor security.
This looks very inspired by the masks doctors used to wear to treat plague victims.
this has to be a late arrival for an April fools joke...
Slipknot is gonna sue for sure
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this prior art? http://www.wetlandsonline.com/ProductImages/strap-ons/se-1514-01.jpg
You knew this was coming...
This was already well-researched in the HCI literature, starting with Olsen's groundbreaking paper on the DataNose around 1986, and extended significantly by Brad Meyers, et al., in their 1991 UIST paper on Nose Gesture Interfaces and Rhino-Virtual-Reality in General.
http://portal.acm.org/citation.cfm?id=120789
I think this was already invented in Clockwork Orange...
What a tool...
"If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."
Its really okay to put the phone down for a few minutes... sheesh!!
I think this is the sort of thing wives would get as "stocking stuffers"
This is pretty much text book chindogu; it certainly solves the problem at hand, whilst creating a whole new array of follow-on issues... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chind%C5%8Dgu
In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
stop masturbating in the tub and you wouldn't need a free hand. picture on wired further proves my point :D
Am I the only one who thought of A Clockwork Orange?
addicted to the iphone? or the porn that's ON your iphone? one hand on the phone, the other on your privates...
Remember kids, if you're not paying for the service, YOU ARE THE PRODUCT THAT IS BEING SOLD.
I'm more interested to know what he was doing with the "non-dry hand" in the scenario where he needs a tablet in the bathtub.
Somebody is going to pay a small penalty for early withdrawal.
In the winter, I can regularly be seen tapping things on my touchscreen phone while wearing gloves with my nose. As awkward as that looks, I can only imagine that wearing a giant plaster penis to extend my nose to tap my phone would be a WHOLE LOT more awkward and socially horrifying.
So, we have an automation lab here at work... Robots performing the mundane day-to-day operations of a wet-lab. Those robots send messages and receive commands to our operator's phones. Blackberry Bolds to be precise. Bolds being the ONLY corporate phone our IT department allows.
This was all gravy when the Bolds had the physical trackball. Now they have this little touch-sensitive pad instead of a ball. Which admittedly works much better than the trackballs ever did - when you have bare hands.
They don't function at all if you are wearing latex gloves. Which are required PPE when in a wet lab.
So, I shit you not, our operators smush their phones on their noses to operate the touch-pad so they can select the commands to send to the machines they can't physically get at that particular moment (in a different room usually).
This thing still may not work because I doubt that the Bold's touch screen will work with the tip of this device. But since I'm not sure which is funnier - the operators walking around smashing their phone's to their faces, or the operators walking around with Pinocchio masks, Ima gonna forward this to our IT department =P
The maker of this product either watches too much porn, or not enough.
Masturbate much?
HEY MASTURBATE A LOT, DO YA?
Just put something on your nose, that'll fix it!
fuuuuccckkk
"Stratigraphically the origin of agriculture and thermonuclear destruction will appear essentially simultaneous" -- Lee
What a silly invention.
If you really want to use your iPhone/iPod touch in the bath, put it inside a zip-loc bag. Of course there is a chance of a little moisture passing through, so put the sealed bag inside another zip-loc bag. Just make sure that the labels of both bags are facing the back of your device so they don't obstruct your view.
And yes, you can still control the touch screen even through two layers of plastic and using your wet finger.
Extra tip: get sandwich-sized bags of two different brands, so that one is slightly narrower than the other and fit nicely inside it.
What kind of ham fisted simian is incapable of using a touch screen smart phone with one hand? I can do all the required features of my Galaxy S just fine with one hand. I can't imagine a situation where this is required unless you are just too uncoordinated to exist in modern society.
However, perhaps iOS is indeed too clunky to use with one hand. Perhaps he should just consider upgrading to a modern smartphone OS instead of sticking with a 5 year old piece of crap.
Dominic Wilcox: That's not my name!
Interviewer: I'm sorry, Mr Throatwobbler Mangrove
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyQvjKqXA0Y
But if someone write a lie in a SMS the contraption becomes longer?
Could be useful for the tricksters il Gatto e la Volpe to find gullible wood puppets.
Heavy smatphone users after some months become donkeys and bought by circus' directors.
Do you have 3g reception in the bowels of a shark?
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me......
Sit on my face and tell me that it's true......
Sit on my face and tell me that you love the nose....
Sit on my face and tell me that you do.....