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Ask Slashdot: What To Do When the Rapture Comes?
Okian Warrior writes "Since the rapture is tomorrow (May 21) at 6:00 pm local time (everywhere), I was just wondering: what plans does everyone have? I've got no specific plans for what to do. What will you be doing around 6:00 pm tomorrow?" If you're on the IT staff, you might want to consult this checklist of things to do or not do in the interim.
I'll probably have to check the internet to see if it actually happened tomorrow night.
I'm planning on setting piles of clothes out on the sidewalk. Should be good for a laugh :)
My blog. Good stuff (when I remember to update it). Read it.
I'll be at work, waiting for my shift to end in 3.5 hours. At that point, I would probably welcome an apocalyptic earthquake.
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
I will be killing zombies. With fire. Just brushed up on my cardio and stocked up on twinkies so I think I'm legit.
You're just trying to get us to admit that we'll be gearing up to loot our local Frys, Best Buys, and other such electronic appliance stores.
There's a spot in User Info for World of Warcraft account names? Really?
RTFM. Matthew 24:36.
Even if the world does happen to end tomorrow, it's not because this kook knew it.
Take off every 'sig' for great justice.
The same thing we do EVERY night, Pinky -- try to take over the world!
Learning HOW to think is more important than learning WHAT to think.
Because God created timezones, duh!
I'm going to turn my virus scanner off and just enjoy the shit out of the extra speed.
My HR department vetoed my plan to survey the IT staff to see if they were expecting to be raptured. Some crap about religious discrimination or something.
Not that I'm worried, I think we're only going to lose one IT guy to Rapture, and no one wants to hang out with him anyway.
...who thought the rapture would come, and asking them the obvious question, "Where is your god now?"
Great Intellect...
Silly atheist. Religion doesn't have to be true for people to buy into it. That's the beauty of it. Most Christians would probably shit themselves if it turned out to be true.
Great Intellect...
I am a follower of "that Jesus guy" and while I am very skeptical of the prediction, I made sure to ask an atheist friend of mine to feed my cat after I ascend. I mean, it would be pretty dickish of me to leave my cat to starve, wouldn't it? After all, it will only be for 6 months until the complete end of the world.
It's the Rapture. I don't know, it just seems like we should do something out of the ordinary for once.
to shoot peas at any zombies that may approach.
Over and over, trying to get it on trends. That'd be good for a laugh.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
I am going to guarantee that at least one person will be in rapture tomorrow.
Time zones are established by man's laws, yet this heavenly event is supposed to follow them. So let me get this straight
Our product follows proper internationalization guidelines. We do also have full Unicode support.
-- If I live on the border of the Eastern and Central time zones, and see my friends floating into the air, and I don't want to go yet (because I want to tweet to everybody about what I saw), I can run a few feet to the east, and God will grant me 60 more minutes on Earth?
Yes. You can actually can get a full day if you're fast. Think of it like a consolation prize.
-- Will God start the Rapture in Venezuela 30 minutes before the rest of South America?
Yes, if there's a Christian Anglo Saxon expat there. Otherwise it'll be skipped like the rest.
-- What about the International Date Line? Will some islands have to wait a full day to be raptured?
Yes.
-- And God respects Daylight Savings Time too?
Unfortunately this feature is not supported on this version.
Y'know, if God is bound to obey the local time set by the local laws of the local humans, what's to stop a government from passing a law turning the clocks ahead one hour precisely one minute after 5:59 PM? No rapture for you, comades!
This will show up as a bug in our issue tracking system and the responsible will be sent to hell manually. Also, additional charges will be billed against your account.
Hope this helps,
Vijay
Heaven Customer Service Representative.
I will be investing a ton in Kool Aide stocks. Should be a killer Monday on the stock market.
This time, no size limits, and screw the limit.
The English word fart is one of the oldest words in the English vocabulary.
Ditto - I used the opportunity to rush out and buy packs of ciggies and condoms to stuff into my pockets. I'm guessing both are in short supply in heaven. ^^
"The true measure of a person is how they act when they know they won't get caught." - DSRilk
Maybe if you took your hand out of your pants you'd have posted in time to actually get first.
Pfft... Everyone knows God calculates the rapture as a 32-bit unsigned int representing seconds since beginning of epoch UTC. So, sometime before 2038, obviously, but 'local time'? Please.
To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.
It's only 10 minutes away for me! No WAIT! My clock is wro
Have you fscked your local propeller head today?
For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.
Prepare accordingly
UPDATE: I didn't get raptured, but on the plus side - I now have party supplies. Ladies?
"The true measure of a person is how they act when they know they won't get caught." - DSRilk
Tools and Utilities sounds like a folder for the male gangbangs... just saying.
Karnal