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Ars Technica Review Slams Duke Nukem Forever
Kethinov writes "Ars Technica writes one of their most negative reviews of a game in a long time, referring to Duke Nukem Forever as 'barely playable' and 'one of the worst games from a major studio in quite some time. The jokes border on hateful. The graphics are a blurry mess. The shooting is unsatisfying.' Their verdict? Skip this one."
Really? Was there any doubt?
I read this one this morning, but there are a lot of equally bad reviews out there, and a pitiful few mediocre ones.
-mrxak
Onions Will Kill You
That game map in the review is indeed damning...
I could tell they were appealing to the lowest common denominator when they released a trailer showing Duke throwing his own feces. One of the dumbest things I ever heard of in a game, automatically made me lose all interest. I figured if they wasted time implementing something like that, the rest of the game would probably be just as dumb.
Taking guns away from the 99% gives the 1% 100% of the power.
...that the whole point was that it actually was planned to be a joke, hence, "Forever", and that they weren't supposed to be working on it for real. Their only task was to load the 3d rendering program and to build another fake "screenshot" with some new changes to the old "screenshot" so that it looked like they were doing something.
They could have milked this another 20 years if they'd been smart, but NO, they had to go and actually try to build the thing...
Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
And all I have to say is:
This is how the Duke ends,
this is how the Duke ends,
not with a bang, but with a whimper.
RIP!
Read the review. He didn't say it didn't live up to the hype, he said it was a terrible game. The humour is not risque, it's just offensive. The gameplay was tedious, a cover-based shooter, but without any support for cover except walking around a corner. The levels were linear and unimaginative. The one good point he identified in the game was that it was short.
I am TheRaven on Soylent News
Hype? More like "running joke". DNF wasn't hyped so much as it was ridiculed and made the butt of jokes.
And not in a good way, either.
...we should wait for the sequel then ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6MjzgTZriw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5Yngipvz6M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q86vWgaLuwE
watch in that order, and you will see about a first couple of hours of gameplay along with the reviewer's impressions. Saved me some time otherwise possibly spent downloading and trying the game myself (let alone buying it).
I played the demo the other day, and if people buy this and then complaint it's their own mistake. The demo already clearly showed in which areas it was lacking (bad animations, bad scripting,really lame humor/voice acting). Even though I've been a big fan of Duke3D, I just couldn't see this being worth my money. But all props to them that they actually released a demo; Most of the times the crappy games won't have a demo, because of aforementioned reasons.
When you shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?
Duke Nukem Forever is the kind of game where you find a pack of cigarettes whose cover shows a mustached man wearing leather—and they're called "Faggs."
I heard that Ewe Boll will be directing the feature film... [ducks]
1) Climb off high horse
2) Read review
SYS 64738 NO CARRIER
One is only allowed to insult white males of Western European heritage - because they are an evil blight upon Gaia.
And if they're Christians, you're even allowed to burn them alive.
As long as you pay for your carbon credits.
The expectations for this game were way too high, as a result of how long it was in development. Even if it was the greatest game ever it would have still been a disappointment to someone. On top of that since most reviewers are used to serious FPS games they have no idea what Duke Nukem is supposed to actually be about; it isn't supposed to compete with the latest Call of Duty.
Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
You know what? Under other circumstances I'd agree with you.
However, having actually played through the "alien hive" level mentioned in the review, I can't actually think of a better description of it. As the Ars Technica review states, that level made me feel almost physically dirty. Not in a good way, like after making an uncomfortable neutral or "dark side" choice in one of the better RPGs, but rather in a "I really wish I had never had to play that and never want to play it again" way.
Nah, he's just going to buy the game, realise it sucks, and then complain that no one warned him.
I am TheRaven on Soylent News
This is state of most modern games.
Overglossy graphics, crappy game play, rollercoaster ride.
Look at the map comparison between Duke 3D and Forever. The sad part? It's like that between all games from the 90's compared to now.
Games that you used to have an openish enviroment, are all now rollercoastered.
Games you used to play for 20+ hours, are all 4-6 hours now.
This is what happens when you get big corporations running the show. and of course, Hollywoodizing crap. Let's make it shiny and expensive, but not give any value. (it's like going from the great black & white movies, to the trashy color movies that came out).
ya, Duke Nukem Forever is a crappy game, should of never been made. But it's actually a shining example of the current gaming industry and what they think about their customers.
Be seeing you...
Most reviews I've seen are generally bad. Given how hard the publisher was pushing the lewd aspect of the game is it really any surprise it turned out to be crap. They were hoping to lure in a few suckers with the "mature" content before they figured out how bad the game actually was.
I also tend to think the intervening years colored memories of Duke Nukem 3D. I personally don't think it was nearly as good as some people remember. I recall it being entertaining, finding some of the subject matter amusing, but generally as an FPS it didn't stand out. For the time it was fine, but then the bar was a lot lower then. It's no wonder DNF would disappoint even if the level of quality is comparable to the original. Of course the mess that was it's development certainly didn't help matters.
This is a good object lesson. When a company plays a sleight of hand trick, trying to sell you on some aspect other than gameplay, it's a near certainty the game won't be any good. And they sure played that angle pretty hard with Duke Nukem Forever.
I don't think the graphics are that bad...but this looks more like a Halo mod with Duke characters than a Duke game proper...
I'm the last person who should be defending this game as I've been taking the piss out of it for 5 years. I've never been a fanboy of the sequel, never did I have confidence it would ever deliver anything at all. I liked the original as a teenager but that's about it.
Regardless though, I've nearly finished the game (Australia, we got it 4 days early) and I can say if you liked the original game, this is a fantastic melding of the original and modern day gameplay. This game is getting slammed far far too excessively.
I guess it was to be expected - but I personally went in expecting garbage and got a half decent game. It's certainly better than diluted trash like Crysis 2.
The game is a little obnoxious for the PC types but you know that going in to it, you wouldn't go to see Fast and the Furious 5 to expect high quality cinema. This game is trashy, dumb - yet quite fun, it's a guilty pleasure for my childish side and honestly the core gameplay itself? It's really fairly decent.
The graphics while not top of the line (quite bad in spots) are also quite GOOD in other places, several scenes I've been outright surprised at how good they are.
If you played the original game and you're in the 27 -> 45 age group with any sense of nostalgia, try it out with an open mind. Don't expect some thick storyline, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. I know I was.
P.S no it's not perfect, some scenes are frustrating in difficulty or not funny - but all games have low spots, overall, it's not even 1/3 as bad as some of these people are saying.
Ctrl-Alt-Del's review is a graphical representation of Ars Technica's review.
Wow. Even the spambots make more sense than this game.
#naabhaprzrag, #sverubfr-000, #agi-fcbafberq, negvpyr[pynff*=' negvpyr-ary-'] { qvfcynl: abar !vzcbegnag; }
It sounds like it could have used some more time in development...
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
Dear Ars Reviewer, Dear Slashdot'ers,
we are greatly honored and moved by the reactions, the release of our fully playable "Duke Nukem Forever" demo has received. While we are working diligently on the final version (to be out real soon now, wink wink), we will take your numerous suggestions into account, perhaps even into Duke's dialogs, to make DNF the greatest game ever released.
Things are looking good despite being very busy and without promising too much, we are on track for the final release target date, which, according to our lawyer, may or may not be within this awesome decade. But the code is mostly in place and once the technical issues like a lack of holographic displays, quantum consoles and their telepathic controllers are resolved, we'll be gold(en). Looking forward to Forever....ain't 'ya excited? ^__^
Is it just me, or were crazy comedies in the 70s, 80s and early 90s on average a little less abysmal? If I, for example, compare the works of Mel Brooks to movies like Scary Movie X or American Pie Y I can't help think that somewhere along the line we lost the intelligent humor and settled for what is truly the lowest common denominator?
I can't help feel a certain pattern emerging here...
Am I just getting old?
.: Max Romantschuk
Stay the FUCK Away from Shadow Warrior.
You get anywhere CLOSE to it and I'll personally firebomb your offices.
Still waiting on Serviscope_minor to wake up to fucking reality and realize that Jessica Price isn't going to fuck him.
Your argument(and SMBC's) on offensiveness is correct in a narrowly specific way; but much less so in a contextually useful one:
Obviously, what different people take offense at varies; but, at a population level, you can categorize and quantify to a reasonably useful extent. At that point, you can, in fact, come up with an "offensiveness" metric relative to a given assumed audience for something. If your assumed audience is sufficiently broad, you can omit specific mention of the assumed audience and let context carry the load for you. There is certainly room for rhetorical chicanery, as with many ambiguous areas of natural language; but that doesn't equate to meaninglessness.
Saying "thing X is offensive" is somewhat analogous to saying "humans are bipedal". In strict point of fact, there are counterexamples. People exist with zero, one, very occasionally more than two, legs and there are a few specimens who walk on all fours. Implicitly, we are treating those as anomalies outside the universe of discourse when we say that. Similarly, there are almost certainly who find gunning down alien-rape victims as they plead inoffensive. However, the reviewer(correctly or not) is implicitly arguing that they are an anomaly among the audience of the review. Now, as noted, "offensiveness" leaves room for chicanery, and you can also make "thing X is offensive" statements that implicitly argue for a highly unrealistic audience sample; but that just makes you wrong or dishonest, rather than "offensiveness" as a metric meaningless.
I always thought that DNF would be easily done as a Unreal Tournament 3 mod. Massive weapon set (10 or more depending on numeric reuse), maze like levels, good look and feel engine (ur3), jiblets and bits code ready. Thought it would have been easy. Guess they wen their own way and screwed it up.
I played the demo. The instant I had to juggle weapons I gave up on it. Duke deserves better. Try again Gearbox.
Procrastinating life a way at a rapid rate of speed.
In the original D3D you got to shoot some strippers at one point, the perceived misogynistic crudeness is hardly new.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
First, I am calling Descent fully 3D, because it was.
Second, allowing arbitrary geometry is not an arbitrary distinction. It's a fundamental difference in the technology of the game engine that it doesn't make simplifying assumptions about the geometry. It makes a huge difference in the kinds of levels, and the features within them, that can be designed.
The everything-is-a-deformed-cube thing worked for Descent's levels which took place entirely inside of mine shaft. And because it worked, it was a fine trade-off to make in order to be able to accomplish what they did, when they did. And make no mistake, I'm calling it an accomplishment (first fully 3D game).
But it's not an arbitrary line between it and Quake. It's a fundamental one that reaches into the very heart of both games.
To show how this differs from something that is arbitrary, let's look at this 6-degrees-of-freedom thing. The Quake engine absolutely could roll the camera, but they didn't give you the ability to do so because it would serve no purpose in the game. It was trivial to mod the game to let you do this.
In fact some mods did just that because they were turning quake into more of a space-shooter like Descent. In fact it is theoretically possible to re-create the entire game Descent in the Quake engine. It is not possible to re-create Quake in the Descent engine. This is not an arbitrary distinction.
The enemies of Democracy are
There is ONE huge problem with Duke Nukem Forever and nobody seems to get it.
What is a PC game done being reviewed on a console?
Lots of weapons? Do you remember how you selected them? That is right with the row of number keys. Easy and fast to select a weapon. Can't do that on the console. THAT is why Halo has a two gun limit, because the x-box controller lacks a means to very quickly switch weapons.
Same with the inventory items, you can't use half a dozen inventory items on a console, so they limit it.
Duke Nukem Forever just shows just what consoles have removed from games. Checkpoints? For the Duke? That nobody evens cries out about this horrow shows how much we have lost.
Is it any wonder they added poop slinging? It is the level a console player would enjoy.
The Duke is dead, the consoles killed him.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.