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The Iceman's Last Meal

sciencehabit writes "Less than two hours before he hiked his last steps in the Tyrolean Alps 5000 years ago, Ötzi the Iceman fueled up on a last meal of ibex meat, according to a new study. Armed with Ötzi's newly sequenced genome and a detailed dental analysis, scientists have also found that the Iceman had brown eyes (not blue, as commonly assumed) and probably wasn't much of a tooth brusher. Dental analysis shows that the Iceman suffered a blunt force trauma to two teeth — possibly a blow to the mouth — at least several days before his death and was plagued by both periodontal disease and cavities."

116 comments

  1. Not much of a tooth brusher by reboot246 · · Score: 2, Funny

    and "plagued by both periodontal disease and cavities."

    He was British?

    1. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by rolfwind · · Score: 5, Interesting

      They always tell me before the rise of civilization that human teeth were perfectly fine. That natural sweets like fruit fibers forced the sugar away before any real damage was done. That white flour and white sugar, removed from it's natural fibers do all the damage. And I know that is true to some extent, but I really don't think before that crap came that everyone was running around with perfect teeth.

      So, was Oetzi from a civilization with all that bad stuff in that sense, since he's way younger than 10,000 years old? Or do human teeth really just suck that much? (FWIW, I wish all our teeth were like baby teeth, constantly displaced and renewed every 5-7 years).

    2. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      He was British?

      Well he didn't have cheeseburger crumbs in his teeth or sludge guts so he wasn't American.

    3. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Arancaytar · · Score: 1

      (FWIW, I wish all our teeth were like baby teeth, constantly displaced and renewed every 5-7 years).

      Like sharks? Yeah, that'd be pretty cool...

    4. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by rolfwind · · Score: 1

      Somewhat, except I don't want 2x3 rows of teeth in my mouth at any one time:)

    5. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by AdamHaun · · Score: 1

      I heard something like that, only it was that meat doesn't cause tooth decay the way carbohydrates do.

      --
      Visit the
    6. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by ryantmer · · Score: 2

      Could also have to do with life expectancy being much shorter - from what I can tell, average life expectancy 5000 years ago was between 20 and 25, so there would be much less time for dental problems to develop (or any health problems, really, aside from ones like "being murdered by opposing tribe" or the favourite "getting eaten by a sabertooth" which plagued many of that era).

      --
      Whatever it is, it's notablog.
    7. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Konsalik · · Score: 1

      Especially if the girl giving you head has a few rows of sharp teeth pointing backwards. Well maybe if you are into that kind of thing it wont bother you...

    8. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by rolfwind · · Score: 2

      A lot of the life expectancy is lowered because of death at child birth (both children and women) and also in the fragile toddler years. There were people who regularly lived to 40s/50s/60s.

    9. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by ArsonSmith · · Score: 1

      What is this head^Hgirl of which you seek?

      --
      Paying taxes to buy civilization is like paying a hooker to buy love.
    10. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by pjt33 · · Score: 1

      Well, the Egyptians certainly aren't pre-civilisation, but I doubt they had white sugar, at least. When I visited Barcelona's Archaelogical Museum last year they had an exhibit about some mummies, and IIRC a third of them showed signs of serious tooth decay.

    11. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      and "plagued by both periodontal disease and cavities."

      He was British?

      "the Iceman suffered a blunt force trauma to two teeth — possibly a blow to the mouth"

      Apparently he was also a soccer fan.

    12. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Spy+Handler · · Score: 3, Interesting

      it's not just human teeth that suck, or that civilization/agriculture ruined our teeth. Animal conservation people often tranquilize lions in the wild to relocate them/take blood samples for studies, etc... very often they find the lion with cavities and gingivitis, even though it's been living on a diet of meat exclusively (as all lions have for millenia).

      I saw this on NatGeo once -- scientists tranqulized a lion took some samples and gave it a checkup, and one of the things they did was to drill out a cavitity and fill it, and give him a dental cleaning (with dental floss). It was pretty funny.

    13. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      What is this head^Hgirl of which you seek?

      What's a heagirl?

    14. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by pluther · · Score: 4, Informative
      Human teeth really suck that much.

      Teeth found as least as far back as Neanderthal are almost universally worn flat in anyone who survived to adulthood. Also, abscesses, often wearing away bone all the way up into the sinuses, are very common in pleistocene remains from the Americas. (The individuals must have been in constant pain for years. Ouch.)

      We've also found a lot of teeth that were badly decayed, and forcibly extracted. Sometimes in pieces. Ice age dentistry wasn't pretty.

      --
      If the masses can keep you down, you're not the Ubermensch.
    15. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Dahamma · · Score: 1

      ...and their teeth were probably a mess.

    16. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      On the other hand, a low life expectancy isn't intended to mean that no one lives to be older; only that it's more rare to do so. The life expectancy numbers for those who'd already lived into their teens were still pretty bad.

    17. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Type44Q · · Score: 1

      They always tell me before the rise of civilization that human teeth were perfectly fine. That natural sweets like fruit fibers forced the sugar away before any real damage was done. That white flour and white sugar, removed from it's natural fibers do all the damage. And I know that is true to some extent, but I really don't think before that crap came that everyone was running around with perfect teeth.

      So, was Oetzi from a civilization with all that bad stuff in that sense, since he's way younger than 10,000 years old? Or do human teeth really just suck that much? (FWIW, I wish all our teeth were like baby teeth, constantly displaced and renewed every 5-7 years).

      It's probably quite simple, actually. Indigenous people around the planet often have perfect teeth when Western explorers first enounter them but there are at least two exceptions to this: the Incas, who tended to have horrible teeth (due to the fact that they ate cooked corn containing carbs which, as any diabetic should be able to tell you, affect the body the way sugar does) and certain islanders from the West Indies, who chewed/sucked raw sugar cane (not a great idea, the toxicity of refined sugar not withstanding.

      However, "Oetzi" probably wasn't eating the perfect diet of "fruits, roots, shoots, berries, seeds and bugs" but rather a diet consisting primarily of animal products, which as has been fairly well demonstrated, is great for folks who want to survive Ice Age-type conditions as a race but doesn't do a whole lot for the health and lifespan of individual members.

    18. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Faerunner · · Score: 1

      They also had sand everywhere, including in the flour they used to make their bread. And sand is a really great abrasive, as you probably know. I wouldn't blame all their tooth decay on sweets!

    19. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by gknoy · · Score: 1

      When did we discover alcohol? I wonder what they did to deal with the pain, if anything.

    20. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by SpongeBob+Hitler · · Score: 1

      On the other hand, a low life expectancy isn't intended to mean that no one lives to be older; only that it's more rare to do so. The life expectancy numbers for those who'd already lived into their teens were still pretty bad.

      This is, of course, where we get the idea across all cultures that elders should be respected. Today, however, any idiot can live to a ripe old age. See, e.g., the U.S. baby boomer generation. A pack of whiny, self-important little fuckers if ever there was one.

      --
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    21. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      You see this shit?

      Especially if the girl giving you head has a few rows of sharp teeth pointing backwards.

      STOP IT.

      My dick just ran under the couch like a scared puppy. You ass.

    22. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Swampash · · Score: 1

      They always tell me before the rise of civilization that human teeth were perfectly fine.

      I think the missing words are "were perfectly fine for a human's natural lifespan."

      It's just that a human lifespan was probably about 30 or 40 years, and then you died of old age.

    23. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I asked this once before, on slashdot.

      All anyone had to say was that it was modern food. Something about corporations being corporationy. I didn't buy it then, either.

      We just have serious flaws in our physiology. The heart is another device of poor design. Redundancy is non-existent for extremely critical blood delivery areas that are already prone to failure. There are all kinds of things wrong with us in this particular revision.

    24. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      My dick just ran under the couch like a scared puppy. You ass.

      Does it have rows of sharp teeth as well? Or is that just vaginas?

    25. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by EdIII · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I am not an anthropologist, but were there not many cultures where food was chewed for elder people that lacked the teeth to do it themselves?

      Probably remember it from a documentary or some movies, but I would love an anthropologist to chime in on this.

    26. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by lahvak · · Score: 1

      You think corporations were any better at that time?

      --
      AccountKiller
    27. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by EdIII · · Score: 2

      Ice age dentistry wasn't pretty.

      Oh really? You think medical practices have got better do you?

      I was wheeled in to a room this morning that resembled the lab Darth Vader was constructed in for my first colonoscopy. A bunch of people moving around real fast, but on one wall there were fucking black tubes 7 fucking feet long that looked like Borg power conduits. It got worse from there.

      I was told that conscious sedation was cheaper and I cut him off right there. I asked if those black cables that looked like it was from the personal collection of PinHead were going to be used on me and I told his ass right there I didn't care what it cost. Knock my ass out now because I don't want to remember a damn thing.

      Good choice too. If you have means I highly recommend it. The first few hours after anesthesia is like Disney Land, but much cooler.

      My point being, some medical procedures today are not by any definition of the word, "pretty". We just have ways of making you not remember it. Thank the Heavens for that.

    28. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by guybrush3pwood · · Score: 1

      I told his ass right there I didn't care what it cost. Knock my ass out now because I don't want to remember a damn thing.

      You, sir, are a pussy.

      Plus, you do know that the more anesthesia your body takes, the less it endures in the future? Knocking yourself because of a simple dental problem is stupid and your doctor should have told you so. You need to pay more and get a better doctor, instead of more drugs.

      --
      Perhaps I'm trolling, perhaps I'm not.
    29. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by guybrush3pwood · · Score: 1

      There are all kinds of things wrong with us in this particular revision.

      Are you calling God a lazy programmer?

      --
      Perhaps I'm trolling, perhaps I'm not.
    30. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by jackbird · · Score: 4, Funny

      If he's getting a colonoscopy as part of a dental procedure, I'd say his dental problem is far from simple...

    31. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Billlagr · · Score: 1

      Puts whole new slant on 'Root Canal'. Drilling from the bottom (ha!) up..

    32. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by guybrush3pwood · · Score: 1

      Hehe... I misread and I think I owe the guy an apology. On the other hand, he seems to have enjoyed the ride, so I'll take a wild guess and say he took no offense.

      --
      Perhaps I'm trolling, perhaps I'm not.
    33. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by nospam007 · · Score: 1

      "That white flour and white sugar, removed from it's natural fibers do all the damage."

      If you make your flour yourself with 2 stones, there will be lots of microscopic stone fragments in it, making the bread abrasive for your teeth.

    34. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by BeaverCleaver · · Score: 3, Insightful

      A lot of the life expectancy is lowered because of death at child birth (both children and women) and also in the fragile toddler years. There were people who regularly lived to 40s/50s/60s.

      Thank you. Really, thank you. That statistic gets thrown around all the time, and as you point out, it's bullshit. Life expectancy was lower because lots of babies and children died. Polio, Measles, smallpox, malnutrition....childbirth [as you stated], whatever.

      Just because life expectancy was in the order of 30 years, absolutely does not mean that there was ever a time in human history that healthy 30 year olds were just spontaneously dropping dead.

    35. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by demonlapin · · Score: 1

      Plus, you do know that the more anesthesia your body takes, the less it endures in the future?

      Not true, my friend. Not true. It's just that old people die more easily, and that people who need tons of surgical procedures tend not to be the healthiest. Rumor has it that many, many Soviet soldiers would take a half-shot of ether whenever they wanted to have a good evening...

    36. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by guybrush3pwood · · Score: 1

      Rumor has it that many, many Soviet soldiers would take a half-shot of ether whenever they wanted to have a good evening...

      My bad, your rumor about Russian drunks clearly proves me wrong.

      --
      Perhaps I'm trolling, perhaps I'm not.
    37. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by ozmanjusri · · Score: 0

      absolutely does not mean that there was ever a time in human history that healthy 30 year olds were just spontaneously dropping dead.

      Apart from now, you mean?

      Iraq and Afghanistan Casualties:

      • Ages 18-21 -- 28.2% (1,325) of the deaths
      • Ages 22-24 -- 23.7% (1,108) of the deaths
      • Ages 25-30 -- 25.6% (1,198) of the deaths
      • Ages 31-35 -- 10.4% (486) of the deaths
      • Over 35 -- 12.1% (566) of the deaths

      http://usmilitary.about.com/od/terrorism/a/iraqdeath1000.htm

      --
      "I've got more toys than Teruhisa Kitahara."
    38. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by codeButcher · · Score: 1

      Darn swiss choccies......

      I guess they didn't live long enough back then to have bad teeth become much of an issue. Or maybe they died because of the eventual lack of nutrient uptake. Chicken? Egg? You decide.

      --
      Free, as in your money being freed from the confines of your account.
    39. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      and "plagued by both periodontal disease and cavities." He was British?

      I'd rather have imperfect teeth than live in a retarded country that elects people like George Bush and Sarah Palin to high office, and thinks Team America: World Police was a fucking DoD training video.

    40. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Calydor · · Score: 1

      Death by acute lead poisoning is not 'spontaneously dropping dead'. In this case, 'spontaneously' means 'with no discernible reason'.

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    41. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      Just because life expectancy was in the order of 30 years, absolutely does not mean that there was ever a time in human history that healthy 30 year olds were just spontaneously dropping dead.

      You're going too far the other way. The point is that by the time you got to 30, a lot of your fwllows had died of starvation, cold, physical exhaustion, wild animal attacks, fellow human attacks or (most importantly) a host of relatively minor ailments that would kill you in the absence of proper medicines. In hunter/gatherer times, getting something like a broken limb would effectively finish you off.

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    42. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      I asked this once before, on slashdot. All anyone had to say was that it was modern food. Something about corporations being corporationy. I didn't buy it then, either. We just have serious flaws in our physiology. The heart is another device of poor design. Redundancy is non-existent for extremely critical blood delivery areas that are already prone to failure. There are all kinds of things wrong with us in this particular revision.

      Yes, well God has to design in some flaws so that we don't live forever, as that would be blasphemous. Duh.

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    43. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by wildstoo · · Score: 1

      I asked if those black cables that looked like it was from the personal collection of PinHead were going to be used on me and I told his ass right there...

      Considering the procedure, this choice of phrasing amused me.

    44. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by jedrek · · Score: 1

      The fact that you were able to get knocked out reliably means that medical practices have gotten a LOT better.

    45. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by wildstoo · · Score: 1

      Maybe just an overworked engineer with a hard deadline. He actually produced a far superior design originally, with greater resilience to all kinds of ailments, but then the beancounters saw the cost-per-unit and told him he had to "streamline" his design.

      Being a proud engineer, he argued that such a design had some serious flaws, and that the final product would have a far shorter lifespan than his original design.

      Inevitably, he was told to leave product perception issues to the marketing team and just get the damn thing out the door so Heaven could start making some goddamn (hehe) money.

      Of course, once the patent protection ran out and there were 3rd party knockoffs all over the market, quality control went right out of the window.

      Well, maybe in the next revision...

    46. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by AmiMoJo · · Score: 1

      I opted not to have an aesthetic of any kind when I had some fillings put in. I'm not hardcore or anything, I just hate the numbness more than the short period of pain from drilling.

      But yeah, when you go to have your shit-pipe cleaned out it ain't gonna be pretty.

      --
      const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
      SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
    47. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by black+soap · · Score: 1

      "old age" being defined as "that's when everything was worn out and quit working."

    48. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by black+soap · · Score: 1

      You think corporations were any better at that time?

      Of course. They hadn't invented the paper shredder.

    49. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by rainmaestro · · Score: 1

      Well, what they told you is partly wrong.

      Human teeth weren't perfect by any means. Cavities did occur, and when they did it frequently ended in abscesses and eventual loss of the tooth. What the records do show is that the number of cavities per capita was much less than your typical agrarian society (even the British have fewer cavities than Americans, despite the GP's tired crack).

      The basic process of cavity formation is this: two types of bacteria feed on the sticky carbohydrates (corn-based products are particularly sticky), extracting simple sugars (sucrose, glucose, etc) from the deposits. The byproduct of metabolizing these sugars is the release of acid which lowers the pH on the surface of the tooth. When the pH drops below a certain point (5-6 IIRC) the teeth demineralize and a cavity begins.

      Pre-farming, a typical human wouldn't be consuming many carbohydrates, so there would be less food for the bacteria to feast on. Consequently, you would likely have fewer cavities. You can find references to a lot of the studies on the correlation between agriculture and cavities in the abstract from this paper: http://www.jstor.org/pss/279500

      Early humans did practice basic dental hygiene, though. Simple tools like chewing sticks (miswaks, neems, etc) are very effective at removing plaque when used properly (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15643758).

    50. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      IAADS (I am a Dental Student) ((People really seem to like doing this so I thought I'd give it a shot))

      From my studies, we've learnt about the progression of dental decay in society over short and long periods of time.
      What you said was true to a certain extent, however it was the total timeframe that you got wrong.

      They always tell me before the rise of civilization that human teeth were perfectly fine.

      It was before the rise of human agriculture. So back when humans had to dig up and chase down all their food sources, they had teeth with no caries (dental decay). However, once people developed agriculture (was it sixty thousand years ago?) people had the ability to stockpile and eat food essentially at will, and as such total incidence of decay shot up a bit (from pre-agricultural zero or essentially zero incidence), but then plateaued. However, they had to contend with dental abrasion and attrition.

      However, once humans reached the industrial age, incidence of tooth decay shot up like the proverbial rocket. Literally. In the time vs caries graph, once it hits industrial it's almost a vertical line.

      I am not an anthropologist, but were there not many cultures where food was chewed for elder people that lacked the teeth to do it themselves?

      This is one of the advantages of the industrial age in a sense. If you look at the dentition of an Australian Aboriginal living off the land their entire lives, they're usually extremely flattened and worn down, in some cases right down into the pulp chambers.

      Of course, as far as I'm aware proto-homonids never expected to live a hundred years on their set of teeth, so that's the price we pay for our evolutionary inheritance I guess. Low decay vs tooth attrition/abrasion.

      In older cultures that you're likely referring to(as in post-agricultural but pre-industrial, couldn't think of the proper term), caries and periodontal disease would have removed most of the elderly population's dentition at that point, just like it still does in some places. In other cultures, it was perceived that once one tooth started decaying, it was only time until they all fell in trouble and just extracted the lot. In fact, some of your grandparents might show the results of that. If any are wearing full dentures, ask why.

      (FWIW, I wish all our teeth were like baby teeth, constantly displaced and renewed every 5-7 years).

      Another instance of evolutionary heritage. It's the price we paid to have a set of (hopefully) nicely interlocking upper and lower teeth.

      Probably not the best flow or layout I could've managed, but I'm in the middle of exams and thought I'd quickly shoot off a reply.

    51. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's depends on how you define "discovered".

      Humans have been taking advantage of alcohol for pretty much as long as we have existed. Alcohol production is a natural process that goes on with or without us. If you knew what trees to tap at the right time of year, you had a party!!

      Actually controlling and understanding how to make alcohol shows up recorded history at least 5000 to 8000 years ago. Beer has been a staple in most human diets for a very long time. However, it wasn't until the last few hundred years that we understood yeast was involved in the process. Before that time the primary way to ferment things was to put your wort in a big open container, open the windows and wait. After the gods blessed the wort (i.e. micro organisms in the air fell into it) fermentation would start. You never really knew what you would be getting. This is still the way Lambics are fermented in some places.

      Keep in mind alcohol is not really that good a sedative. You may not feel the procedure but you'll have to deal with the treatment pain as well as the hangover.

    52. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by camazotz · · Score: 1

      Usually bad teeth are associated with the rise of agriculture. Dental quality in teeth drops after the development of sophisticated agricultural mechanisms for a variety of reasons, including the fact that teeth wear more readily with grains and seeds that are ground into powder for baking, often with stone mortars and tools that contribute to the wear on teeth through stone particles. Among pueblo indian groups in the southwest US for example the simple mortar/matate process of stone-grinding corn was the key reason for wear on tooth enamel over time. Additionally, the increase in a carbohydrate/sugar-saturated diet leads to increased tooth decay from teeth that had weakened enamel. Prior to this point, hunter-gatherer societies had a much higher ratio of meat products and unprocessed plant products in their diet and tooth wear wasn't nearly as evident; however, as best I can recall the lifespan of the typical hunter-gatherer was also lower, so the percentage of a given population that lived long enough to display severe wear and decay on teeth was also going to be lower.

    53. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by demonlapin · · Score: 1

      Soviet drunks are just an amusing aside.

      I'm a practicing anesthesiologist. You're wrong. You do not have a limited number of hours of anesthesia on this earth (unless you're reckless about who puts you under - viz., Michael Jackson).

    54. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by Seedy2 · · Score: 1

      Human teeth really suck that much.

      Teeth found as least as far back as Neanderthal are almost universally worn flat in anyone who survived to adulthood. Also, abscesses, often wearing away bone all the way up into the sinuses, are very common in pleistocene remains from the Americas. (The individuals must have been in constant pain for years. Ouch.)

      We've also found a lot of teeth that were badly decayed, and forcibly extracted. Sometimes in pieces. Ice age dentistry wasn't pretty.

      Wait?!? You mean they don't still do it that way? Crap I need a new dentist.
      My last extraction resulted in about five pieces. (OK it was in the '80s)

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      Nothing to say here... move along
    55. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by pluther · · Score: 1

      Well, they still do it sometimes, but I've been led to believe that these days they use more anesthetic and less rocks...

      --
      If the masses can keep you down, you're not the Ubermensch.
    56. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by drsquare · · Score: 1

      He was British?

      You mean American? They're the ones with the rotten teeth. I wonder if they had Wonderbread in the Stone Age.

    57. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by guybrush3pwood · · Score: 2

      I'm a practicing anesthesiologist.

      You should have started with that, Mr. Smartypants.

      --
      Perhaps I'm trolling, perhaps I'm not.
    58. Re:Not much of a tooth brusher by John+Hasler · · Score: 1

      The egyptians ate stone-ground flour with a lot of sand in it. It wore their teeth down rapidly, resulting in abscesses.

      --
      Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
  2. I can imagine... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    He probably did the old "tie a rock to the tooth and throw then rock" to get rid of his toothache. The tooth was not as sick as he thought, and Ôtzi followed the stone down the alps. First Darwin Award y'all.

  3. Lies by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Everyone knows primitive man was vegetarian. We are given a McDonalds palate at birth by our capitalist/consumer industrial processed food culture. They knew better.

    Oh, and they weren’t violent either.

  4. Dental Plan! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...Lisa needs braces!

  5. I was a little confused by the headline by joe_cot · · Score: 3, Funny

    I thought they were talking about this guy. He's been in prison for a while, but he didn't get the death penalty.

    1. Re:I was a little confused by the headline by mangu · · Score: 0

      And I thought they were talking about this man.

      Nah, just kidding...

    2. Re:I was a little confused by the headline by Hatta · · Score: 1

      I thought they were talking about this guy.

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    3. Re:I was a little confused by the headline by sharkey · · Score: 1

      Yeah, it was a a bit vague.

      --

      --
      "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
  6. Val Kilmer by jgerry · · Score: 3, Funny

    For a minute I thought Val Kilmer had died.

    1. Re:Val Kilmer by SpongeBob+Hitler · · Score: 0

      When is a Door not a Door?
      When it's Val Kilmer!

      --
      Wollt ihr den totalen Krieg?
    2. Re:Val Kilmer by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sound of one teeth clacking.

    3. Re:Val Kilmer by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Is that a Willow reference?

    4. Re:Val Kilmer by Nidi62 · · Score: 1

      Top Gun

      --
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    5. Re:Val Kilmer by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Based on the last photo I saw, he ain't starving to death any time soon. The horror, the horror...

    6. Re:Val Kilmer by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No, that was Patrick Swayzie. Got put into a corner.

    7. Re:Val Kilmer by gregthebunny · · Score: 1

      Was his ego writing checks his body couldn't cash?

  7. Re:Dangerzone by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    did they determine if goatse suffered any permanent damage from stretching his asshole?

  8. irony by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You know what's funny is that the last thing I ate before posting this was Twizzlers and yet I do not suffer from periodontal disease. You would think it would be the opposite with mister ibex jerky there lol.

    1. Re:irony by swanzilla · · Score: 0

      Nope...still coincidence. Keep trying.

  9. We're not sure where he was killed by jd · · Score: 4, Informative

    There's claims that he may have been moved after death and that he may have been killed in or around a settlement off the Alps.

    That aside, the continuing research is building up an amazing picture. I assume they've done the strontium isotope testing on the teeth to locate exactly where he was originally from.

    What's more, glaciers in the Alps and across Scandanavia are releasing enormous amounts of organics, allowing for a much better picture of the time to be built. The main concern had by archaeologists is that the amount they're able to collect (due to really insignificant resources) is tiny compared to what's actually being released. Cloth and wood, when released by a glacier, will rot extremely quickly if efforts are not made to preserve it (not the seconds shown in Indiana Jones IV, but months to maybe a year or so) but may be removed and destroyed/buried by mud, animals, build-up of the terminal morraine, etc, long before that.

    What we do have, though, is a picture of an era within that area that is incredibly comprehensive. We only know about the use of colour in early mediterranian clothes because X-Ray fluorescence on Greek and Roman sculptures reveals the paints used. We actually have dyed cloth from Otzi's time. We know the Romans loved wine and beer, from their writings and from residue in containers, but we've actually found seeds in the process of being malted in German and France again contemporary with Otzi along with other ingredients in their raw form. Also from that era, we have found doors that are painted and have latches, ropes, longbows, shoes and other artifacts, most of which are either completely or almost completely intact. That is impressive.

    Provided more enthusiasts in Europe go out, find, salvage as necessary, and report organics to make up for the lack of archaeological resources, we are quite capable of building a picture of Bronze Age and Iron Age Europe that is more comprehensive than our knowledge of early-to-mid Medieval times.

    --
    It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
    1. Re:We're not sure where he was killed by Hatta · · Score: 4, Funny

      There's claims that he may have been moved after death and that he may have been killed in or around a settlement off the Alps.

      You see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?

      --
      Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
    2. Re:We're not sure where he was killed by j-stroy · · Score: 2

      The recent meal, the un-plundered artifacts (valuable copper axe, knife, arrows, fire kit & clothing) found with him and determination of injuries sure sounds like he died alone in a "chase" involving two groups. Wikipedia mentions multiple blood evidence. Most intriguing is the sophistication of his shoes or possibly framed snowshoes.

    3. Re:We're not sure where he was killed by ShakaUVM · · Score: 2

      "Global Warming Benefits Archeology!"
      -Headline from the next issue of The Petroleum Times

    4. Re:We're not sure where he was killed by jd · · Score: 1

      The two meals prior to his last seemed to be fairly elaborate, suggesting that whatever chase or chases may have taken place it wasn't expected and wasn't until after the last meal.

      The current theory seems to be that the un-plundered artifacts were a result of him being ritually buried in the Alps after death, on the grounds that although the blood on the knife proves he was in hand-to-hand combat (and must have won, since he survived that and was killed by an arrow), nothing from the attackers other than the blood on the knife (no arrowheads, no lost artifacts, nothing) has been found.

      --
      It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
    5. Re:We're not sure where he was killed by rahvin112 · · Score: 1

      Last I saw he wasn't that far from home (where his teeth show he's from that is). Unless they changed the theory they suspect he was wealthy or someone of high social rank and he was in a hand-to-hand fight that resulted in him running away and someone shooting him in the back with an arrow which he extracted himself (leaving the head embedded in his back) he died while running away (from the punctured lung and the blood loss) and that he likely fell and died and was buried in snow (and thus never found) before his attackers caught up to him. The snow continued to fall and grew in depth every year until he was encased in a glacier fortunately he was buried in a nook in the ground that prevented him from being ground to bits by the glacier.

      Where is this theory that he was buried ritually? From what I saw of the pictures of his corpse he didn't look buried, he looked like someone that died where they fell. People of that time were faced certain directions and buried in very specific positions with ornamentation (including flowers) and last I saw he has none of those hallmarks of a planned burial.

    6. Re:We're not sure where he was killed by belmolis · · Score: 1

      They are pretty sure that his body was moved by the flow of the ice after his death, which would have disrupted its original orientation and conformation.

    7. Re:We're not sure where he was killed by fotoguzzi · · Score: 1

      Were all the artifacts moved along with him by the ice? My understanding is that he was not far from the items found.

      --
      Their they're doing there hair.
    8. Re:We're not sure where he was killed by jd · · Score: 1

      [Ritual burial theory][http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/08/otzi-ceremony/]
      [Rejection by the archaeologists at the Otzi museum][http://www.iceman.it/en/statement_burial_theory]
      [A more neutral POV article on Otzi in general and the theories of death][http://www.health.medicbd.com/wiki/%C3%96tzi_the_Iceman]

      Basically, the claim of burial is "case unproven" but all other contending theories also have problems from lack of evidence. Since medical exams on mummies have invariably turned up injuries missed by prior exams, it's safe to assume that later research will have a more definitive answer.

      --
      It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
    9. Re:We're not sure where he was killed by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There's claims that he may have been moved after death and that he may have been killed in or around a settlement off the Alps.

      You see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?

      You see what happens Larry!? You see!?

  10. To answer his mother's burning question... by DdJ · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...did he at least have clean underwear?

  11. What really happened by SnarfQuest · · Score: 1

    The more I hear about this guy, the more I think of a partially successful escape from some chieftain daughters room. He was probably shouting something like "Everybody lies about sex, it depends on what your definition of is is, and it was all George W Bushes fault!" while he was running away. Several forced reincarnations later, and his vocal efforts finally worked out better.

    --
    Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
    1. Re:What really happened by bugs2squash · · Score: 1

      Were they able to find any body fluids, did he cumeth ?

      --
      Nullius in verba
    2. Re:What really happened by Sique · · Score: 1

      He was about 50, when he died, so the chieftain daughter's room theory has some problems to overcome.

      (Full disclosure: I live about 1 1/2 hrs drive from the point where he was discovered.)

      --
      .sig: Sique *sigh*
    3. Re:What really happened by MichaelSmith · · Score: 1

      Maybe it was the chieftain's wife. Though I don't see why it couldn't have been the daughter, or the daughter and the wife, and the livestock too.

  12. spare teeth by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    it's not as bad as you think. having fresh set of teeth all the time is a feature.

    1. Re:spare teeth by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I imagine blowjobs would be damn scary though!

    2. Re:spare teeth by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You are doing it wrong!

    3. Re:spare teeth by EdIII · · Score: 2

      I imagine blowjobs would be damn scary though!

      Well since this is Slashdot isn't the cliche that all most of us can do is imagine a blowjob :)

  13. Sugar, sweet. by overshoot · · Score: 1

    Well, the Egyptians certainly aren't pre-civilisation, but I doubt they had white sugar, at least.

    They most certainly had honey.

    --
    Lacking <sarcasm> tags, /. substitutes moderation as "Troll."
    1. Re:Sugar, sweet. by ShavedOrangutan · · Score: 1

      My dentist is a beekeeper and sells honey at his office. He says that honey is naturally anti-bacterial and doesn't cause tooth decay because it's the acid generated by bacteria that damages tooth enamel.

      --
      Godaddy is a scam and a ripoff.
  14. really? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Dentists swarm him? Don't you think it's a little LATE to bitch at him about his dental hygene? They have no limits, I swear.

  15. Whats what you get for not going vegan by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    He eats meat and a few hours later he's dead. That's what meat does to you.

    If you won't think for the animals, think for yourselves! Of course, I've got a little more time to think. Being a raw foods-only vegan means I'm going to outlive you all by years.

    1. Re:Whats what you get for not going vegan by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      He eats meat and a few hours later he's dead. That's what meat does to you.

      If you won't think for the animals, think for yourselves! Of course, I've got a little more time to think. Being a raw foods-only vegan means I'm going to outlive you all by years.

      Clara?
      If this *is* you, then please leave the adults alone and get back to YouTube and find your damn missing penny..

    2. Re:Whats what you get for not going vegan by Sulphur · · Score: 1

      He eats meat and a few hours later he's dead. That's what meat does to you.

      If you won't think for the animals, think for yourselves! Of course, I've got a little more time to think. Being a raw foods-only vegan means I'm going to outlive you all by years.

      It was the iBEX that got him then?

  16. Re:WHAT DUMBASS DRIVERS DON'T UNDERSTAND by SpongeBob+Hitler · · Score: 0

    I take it you live in Northern Virginia. I'd say hi at the junction between I-495 and I-66 if I wasn't too interested in killing some dumb fucker!

    --
    Wollt ihr den totalen Krieg?
  17. Honey: anti-bacterial? by overshoot · · Score: 3, Insightful

    My dentist is a beekeeper and sells honey at his office. He says that honey is naturally anti-bacterial and doesn't cause tooth decay because it's the acid generated by bacteria that damages tooth enamel.

    Easy enough to test: eat a mouthful of honey, and then take an oral swab. Test it for bacteria.

    The reason that honey is anti-bacterial is simple osmotic pressure: the sugar concentration is so high that bacteria get dehydrated. Pure sugar works exactly the same way. Dilution, no shock, cancels out the effect.

    However, a dentist selling honey as a tooth preservative? Might be a good business plan.

    --
    Lacking <sarcasm> tags, /. substitutes moderation as "Troll."
    1. Re:Honey: anti-bacterial? by yanyan · · Score: 1

      However, a dentist selling honey as a tooth preservative? Might be a good business plan.

      Seems kind of ironic to me. In effect he's killing his market by helping people take better care of their teeth which, if everybody in the world did, would render dentists largely unnecessary in the first place. A better, more evil, if you will, business plan would be to hand out free sweets to patients on their way out. >:-)

    2. Re:Honey: anti-bacterial? by demonlapin · · Score: 1

      His point is that once you eat it, it quickly loses its antibacterial properties.

  18. The Iceman????? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Chuck 'The Iceman' Lidell is alive and well, fuck YOU very much.

  19. It's much more complex than that. by LongearedBat · · Score: 4, Informative

    Honey is not antiseptic due simply to a high sugar rate.

    This page says that honey is antiseptic in various ways and that some types of honey are more antiseptic than others. And this research seems to suggest that a part of the antibacterial activity might be of plant origin and the major part of the antibacterial activity of honeydew honey is of bee origin.

    Put simply: It's complex, and we don't know it all yet.

    Medical grade types of honey are still being discovered. "Medical grade honey"? Yes, this article claims that eight species of problematic wound pathogens, including those with high levels of innate or acquired antibiotic resistance, were killed by 4.0–14.8% honey , meaning that they're effective even when diluted.

    It's an intersting read, especially the 1st article.

  20. A matter between Italy and Austria by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Ötzi was found at the border between Italy (South Tyrol) and Austria (North Tyrol), and after some fight who got rights on him he is/was being examined and exhibited in Innsbruck (North Tyrol, Austria) and in Bozen (South Tyrol, Italy) - despite the tag, Switzerland got nothing to do with it, besides also featuring the Alps.

  21. You are lucky by xkuehn · · Score: 1

    If you have means I highly recommend it. The first few hours after anesthesia is like Disney Land, but much cooler.

    It is not just about being able to afford it. I have had general anaesthesia twice and it was horrible. First, I puke all day Second, I seem to go on a bad trip. Seem to, since I can not remember any of it. But then I have to endure tales of everything I did, like kicking the doctor (both times).

    1. Re:You are lucky by EdIII · · Score: 1

      Funny you mentioned not remembering.

      I can remember waking up in the recovery room, doing a few limited things, and then I don't remember anything else for about an hour. I thought I passed out. However, I was told by the doctors, nurses, and a family member that I was remarkable lucid and able to understand and answer questions.

      No memories though. It is just a complete blank. I'm sure any college student out there can relate to what I am saying.

    2. Re:You are lucky by Uzuri · · Score: 1

      Precisely what happened after my appendectomy. I remember being vaguely annoyed that the nurse wouldn't accept my pointing to my wrist band as the answer for "what's your birthday" and then I don't remember a damn thing until 4:00 that afternoon. Meanwhile Mom claims that they'd never have taken me out of recovery if I wasn't awake.

      I think that proves that we have no idea what "awake" really is.

      --
      I'm a she-slashdotter... but I make up for it by living with my folks.
  22. Re:WHAT DUMBASS DRIVERS DON'T UNDERSTAND by MichaelSmith · · Score: 1

    Once my wife asked me about the blue light in the instrument panel of her car. I took her out to the car and showed her the switch for the high beam. She asked me what it was for. She explained that a man knocked on her window at a red light and suggested that she turn her high beam off, and when she didn't understand just said to turn the blue light off and left it at that. She I explained high beams and she said well if you get more light with high beam why not leave it on all the time. So I said blue light bad. If you see that light on, press this stalk so it goes away.

  23. Re:WHAT DUMBASS DRIVERS DON'T UNDERSTAND by Coren22 · · Score: 1

    Hailing from MD, and have to agree with you there, every one of his points made me chuckle.

    --
    APK likes to ask for responses to the same things over and over. Maybe he just likes the responses?