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Computer Marries Texas Couple
cultiv8 writes "When Miguel Hanson and his fiancee, Diana Wesley, got married on Saturday, a computer program Hanson wrote served as the minister. During the wedding, held in the Houston home of Hanson's parents, the couple stood before a 30-inch monitor in the backyard. In a robotic voice, the computer greeted the guests, and told how the couple met."
My wife and I are already legally married, but our ceremony isn't for a few months. We could be "married by" a parrot. Or an iPod. Or no one at all. Or, as is the case here, Dr. Sbaitso.
Those who fail to understand communication protocols, are doomed to repeat them over port 80.
Do you accept the terms & conditions of this matrimony? : _
Robosexual marriage & robolygamy are wrong!
Always taking jobs that American priests won't do.
Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds.There upon the rainbow is the answer to a neverending story
cos his "wife" is a fucking android. (take that literally)
Computer marriage is what's wrong with America and is leading to the very breakdown of social structure. Computer marriage, may appear harmless. But what happens when your kids have to see a guy walking down the street kissing his laptop? That's disgusting.
Pretty soon they'll want computers in the military ... and we all know how that movie ends.
This guy is either rich, or she has Asperger's. Else, how else could the conversation go?
He: "I got it! The perfect wedding! We get married by a computer!"
She: "Should we go with blue or white?"
He: "But, the computer would marry us!"
She: "Should we go with lacy, or silky?"
He: "The computer should run Linux!"
She: "I think I like lacy more than silky..."
He: "I could even have it running LISP!"
She: "You want to have a preacher with a lisp? What the HELL are you thinking!?"
I have no problem with your religion until you decide it's reason to deprive others of the truth.
If a guy married his blender, the honeymoon will end on the first night.
So I can get into the ER.
Those who fail to understand communication protocols, are doomed to repeat them over port 80.
At least the blender won't be worried about the husband cheating.
Okay, I know it is scary for a nerd but still, you can't put the "ceremony" off forever. Sooner or later you ARE going to have to kiss the bride AND even face the wedding night. Just close your eyes and think of the GPL.
Married man walking!
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Cue the Futurama theme song!
You are about to engage in something that is the chief cause of divorce.
[Cancel] or [Allow]
cat
You've got robo-fever, boy!
It's nice and easy to be smug until you get turned into a sheep and get killed in by your own nightmares...
health insurance and taxes among other things.
Last time I visited there's just a couple of posts with very few reader feedback and now this place is just crowded! Way to go man. Nice article, btw ;) Shaw Capital Management Online
I suppose they are married until blue screen of death do them part...
Find Japanese addresses in English on Google Maps Japan: http://diddlefinger.com/
Yes, but unlike the wife you can upgrade something besides the case.
I consider this as one of the saddest pieces of news this monday morning...
The terms of service aren't all that far away from what is normal for using a computer.
.
Take apples terms of service, change a few nouns here and there (Itunes -> your spouse Apple -> your in-laws) and it is actually a lot more factual than wedding vows. Some key exerpts below:
Maybe there would be less complaints if you knew that by opening the package you are agreeing to:
REQUIREMENTS FOR USE OF your spouse
Your spouse is available for individuals aged 13 years or older. If you are 13 or older but under the age of 18, you should review this Agreement with your parent or guardian to make sure that you and your parent or guardian understand it.
The spouse is available to you only in the United States, its territories, and possessions. You agree not to use or attempt to use the your spouse from outside these locations. Apple may use technologies to verify your compliance.
Use of the your spouse requires compatible devices, Internet access, and certain software (fees may apply); may require periodic updates (makeovers); and may be affected by the performance of these factors. High-speed Internet access is strongly recommended for regular use and is required for video. The latest version of required software is recommended to access the your spouse and may be required for certain transactions or features and to download your spouse's previously purchased from your spouse . You agree that meeting these requirements, which may change from time to time, is your responsibility. The your spouse is not part of any other product or offering, and no purchase or obtaining of any other product shall be construed to represent or guarantee you access to the your spouse
USAGE RULES
(i) You shall be authorized to use your spouse only for personal, noncommercial use.
(v) You shall not be entitled to burn video of your spouse or ringtone your spouse.
OBJECTIONABLE MATERIAL
You understand that by using the your spouse , you may encounter material that you may deem to be offensive, indecent, or objectionable, and that such content may or may not be identified as having explicit material. Nevertheless, you agree to use the your spouse at your sole risk and your inlaws shall have no liability to you for material that may be found to be offensive, indecent, or objectionable. your spouse Product types and descriptions are provided for convenience, and you agree that your inlaws do not guarantee their accuracy.
IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION
To avoid muscle, joint, or eye strain during your use of the products offered through the your spouse , you should always take frequent breaks, and take a longer rest if you experience any soreness, fatigue, or discomfort. A very small percentage of people may experience seizures or blackouts when exposed to flashing lights or patterns, including but not limited to while playing video games or watching videos. Symptoms may include dizziness, nausea, involuntary movements, loss of awareness, altered vision, tingling, numbness, or other discomforts. Consult a doctor before using the products offered through the your spouse if you have ever suffered these or similar symptoms, and stop using such products immediately and see a doctor if they occur during your use of such products. Parents should monitor their children’s use of the products offered through your spouse for signs of symptoms
CHANGES
Your Mother in-law reserves the right at any time to modify this Agreement and to impose new or additional terms or conditions on your use of the your spouse . Such modifications and additional terms and conditions will be effective immediately and incorporated into this Agreement. Your continued use of the your spouse will be deemed acceptance thereof.
TERMINATION
If you fail, or your mother in-law suspects that you have failed, to comply with any of the provisions of this Agreement, mother in-law, at its sole discretion, withou
I followed the link in the article but can't find the software anywhere... Is it open source? Does it run on Linux? :)
For optimal comment enjoyment, take red pill now.
Another idiot (Score:0)
Marriage is for suckers, officiated by a computer or not.
What a peculiar generalisation. Tell me, do you and your girlfriend appreciate it when people make derogatory generalisations about your relationship? ;)
My GF has and I have no intention of getting married and we are doing just fine,
Good for you champ.
It's not necessary for children, nor happiness. Why bother?
Why not? Tax benefits of a legally binding marriage aside, some people genuinely enjoy celebrating their love for each other formally, in the presence of their friends and loved ones. I'm not sure why that's really so difficult to understand...
....is a Scientologist??
A Penny for my thoughts? Here's my two cents. I got ripped off!
The couple wrote the 'computer program' to marry them on their own background, I suppose it was just a document that was read by a voice generator, or something of that sort. But they did it because they couldn't find a minister to do the work, but they will still have to have 'justice of the peace' sign the papers. This brings up a good question: why not automate this type of work away and cut some spending this way? Start small, with computer program marrying and signing licenses for couples, then move on to the traffic violations and petty infractions, landlord/tenant disputes, small debts and other small claims, then misdemeanors and restraining orders, etc.
With computers presiding over cases, there will be little chance of personal influence upon the justice, bribes, etc. Efficiency must go up, as cases can be looked at over the Internet, computers can work around the clock as well and they only require maintenance.
--
Of-course if this is done money can be saved, that's without a question, the only concern must be that it can't be Diebold, who writes this. It needs to be Free and free source software and even hardware. Integrity of elections is arguably more important than integrity of any particular computer system built to perform Justice of the Peace duties, but integrity of a virtual judge is more personal to the individuals involved in the cases.
You can't handle the truth.
The answer is of course whoever successfully files the patent. Since computers aren't given to going down to the patent office, filling out forms, paying the fees, etc, I would say the humans have a much better chance of getting the patents than the computers.
Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
No, distributing YOUR source code to your new wife!
My first Journal Entry ever, in 8 years! http://slashdot.org/journal/365947/aphelion-scifi-fantasy-horror-poetry-webzine
You just wait until the computers collocate their computers at the patent-office...
So Texas legalized both human-computer marriage and polygamy? Didn't see that coming.
sic transit gloria mundi
I always found the coolest geek insult was: "I can replace you with this (hold out thumb and index finger) much code".
I've done it a couple of times too in my career.
But I must admit that I never had the guts to say it to the face of the people I made obsolete...
What's the difference between a wife and a Microsoft product?
After five years the Microsoft product still sucks.
Free Martian Whores!
Clearly the Republicans were right when they pointed out that gay marriage was a slippery slope. Now we have two people married to a computer?!
Also, for some people, like myself, it is necessary for us to be together, what with the immigration and all. (In this circumstance I'm talking about myself immigrating to the US. Yes, technically it is legal to go the other way [immigrate to Canada] without being married, but it's a little harder.)
It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it.
- E. Debs
... oh wait, this is /.
Then by the 110VAC power vested in me...
There is a worse problem with the "wife" (applies to "husband" too) nowadays: it can choose to upgrade itself. But the result may be in fact a downgrade.
Anyone willing to spend $1700 for an Apple Laptop
has to be doing more with it than just surfing the web and playing games right???
*wink, wink, nudge nudge*
There was a ULC minister doing this thirty years ago. Google: "ron jaenisch" "reverend apple"
"held in the Houston home of Hanson's parents, the couple stood before a 30-inch monitor in the backyard."
Why did my brain automatically read basement instead of backyard?
my karma will be here long after I'm gone
Have gnu, will travel.
The upkeep is about the same though...
Something witty.
Accomplishing that task does not require "writing a program". From recording your own audio, to presentation video etc, or using a voice-synth even, the problem doesn't demand such an involved solution as writing a program. If that guy was a programmer, he would know that. I call shenanigans.
I'm supposed to take a drink now.
I've signed marriage certificates (in Texas) for myself and my ex-wife, a lesbian couple (no shit - they actually claimed some benefits and didn't get challenged...I suppose that because the amount of benefits they received was very small, the IRS decided that it wasn't worth challenging or finding out what state they were married in; as a side note, the marriage certificates here [at least at the time I performed the wedding] don't even ask the sex of the people getting married, though you have to show ID when filing certificates, I don't know how they filed the certificate, so they might have done something when they filed it, so YMMV), as well as more traditional marriages. None of these have been challenged by the government, and have been accepted in all cases as legally binding/valid.
So yes, while I'm helping destroy the "sacred institution" of marriage, I could give a fuck. I'm generally a gun-toting freedom nut, which people associate w/ right-wing, but really I'm just pro-freedom and pro-responsibility (which makes me very anti-big-government and anti-socialist in general), but to me I'm okay w/ gay people as long as they respect me. Plus, after seeing what my parents and their generation did w/ marriage, I don't think there's anything inherently sacred in the institution. In love and commitment, yes. In marriage by itself? No.
PC moderators can suck my White pierced, tattooed dick. If you think pride == hate, s/dick/Aryan meat mallet/g.