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Iran Tried and Failed To Launch a Monkey Into Space
Medevilae writes with a recent report from PopSci's dedicated 'space monkey' news feed that "When Iran indefinitely suspended its plans to launch a monkey into space earlier this month, it was actually because they had already tried and failed. Iranian Deputy Science Minister Mohammad Mehdinejad-Nouri told state media that the Kavoshgar-5 rocket carrying a capsule with a live monkey launched during Shahrivar, which is the Iranian month spanning August 23 to September 22, but the launch was not publicized because it did not accomplish all of its mission objectives. Assuming one of the objectives was to safely carry the monkey to space and back, things don't sound good for the monkey."
They failed to launch a monkey?
Does that mean Ahmadinejad is still on Earth?
"That's the way to do it" - Punch
I hope it wasn't Michael Nesmith. He was my favorite.
The real Sig captains the Northwestern. This one captains
Fear the container ship... it doesn't move as fast, but it can conceal plenty of shielding....
Where'd the monkey take his vaction? All over Tehran!
What color were the monkey's eyes? Blue. One blew north, the other blew south....
Iranian NASA. Needs Another Simian Astronaut
There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
Austrailia, if there is one location that if an Old/Elder God were to actually exist it is that god forsaken continent. The continent where even rabbits can turn into an ecosystem destroying menace, dogs become child eating beasts and spawned creatures so outlandish that professionals refused to believe were real till a specimen was captured alive (platypus).
Mark my words, that military spending is well deserved. Australia will laugh when the giant stone cover (Ayers' Rock) lifts up off of the casket of Vampire Cthulhu.
by Anonymous Coward: I, for one, welcome the shift from car analogies to pizza analogies. um.. overlords?
Places with a "state religion" (which particular religion doesn't matter) are, by definition, shit holes.
All that have no ballistic nuclear missile cravings.
Orbital rockets can easily be repurposed to ICBMs
Home brewed nuclear reactors are a good step on the way to manufacturing nukes.
Having a dictatorship ruled by religious fundamentalists of the worst kind is, when combined with the above, a good starting condition for world war 3 or at the very least an actual nuclear war.
Not to be paranoid or anything, but it's pretty damn obvious that they want some serious military tools as a byproduct of their Glorious National Proudness Programs.
Where, by default, you get baptized as Luthern!
and yet, 'The West' (I'm a westerner) fears Iran can strike Europe and the US with nukes?
LOL!
They are indeed able to strike the west with nukes. However, their ability to strike with monkeys is seriously in doubt.
UK is a shithole because you limey derps prosecute victims of crimes for acts of self-defense and let the perpetrators sue.
OK, I hold an Iranian passport and have been in and out of Iran many times.
People in Iran do not like Ahmadinejad. One of the many insults is to call him a monkey because he is a half-wit. Same as how George Bush got the monkey insults.
Nothing to do with race. Just that he's a simple fool in charge of an entire country.
How many countries just rely on someone else to do the space thing for them?
Well, they certainly have some catching up to do. The first 5 US missions of this type didn't exactly end well for the passengers:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkeys_in_space#United_States
and the first 'successful' Soviet dog in orbit trip didn't even include 'bring it back alive' as a mission objective:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laika#Controversy
Places with a "state religion" (which particular religion doesn't matter) are, by definition, shit holes.
Most places actually have a state religion, including some that I'd question if you actually intended to call them shit holes. I'll leave the naming of them to the other replies in this thread. Some even have several state religions going at once. American-style separation of Church and State is, relatively speaking, actually quite an unusual state of affairs.
That said, many of these places have both a state religion and religious freedom. These are not incompatible.
Yes, but usually in Texas or some other shit hole.
No sooner do I get over one, then you put a better one right next to me. Bastards.
Just wondering if some embedded controller somewhere had been hacked. It seems the Iranian space program would be an obvious target for some unfriendly foreign government to try to cripple. Even if (when?) the Iranians get the bomb they'll need some means of delivering it.
I would imagine it'll be too big to send via diplomatic pouch and their air force is completely outclassed by their main adversaries in the region (Israel and Saudi Arabia). (I don't know if those countries air forces could knock down a low-flying cruise missile, I'd think the cities and oil installations on the gulf might be indefensible). Despite having a few subs, I'd imagine the U.S. Navy tracks them very closely, still a short range attack by mini-subs or suicide speedboat might be possible.
So that leaves space. With their "military" space program being watched very carefully, it appears there will be some sort of ABM system covering U.S. Allies and Europe before they have an intermediate range missile capable of delivering a nuke. That's where their "civilian" program could conceivably come into play. A nuke placed IN ORBIT could go the "long way around" thus avoiding the theater defenses currently being built. Of course the U.S. has anti-sat weapons but they may not cover every approach especially if the weapon deorbits before completing even one revolution. (And it's pretty clear that the U.S. doesnt have the specially equipped F-15 fighters all over the world to cover its allies.).
Finally, who's to say that the U.S. will even know what to shoot down? The Iranians may say they've just launched a monkey into space only to reveal later (maybe MUCH later) that the capsule carrying the presumably now-dead monkey actually has a nuke instead. Even if the U.S. decided to shoot on sight any Iranian "satellite" that started acting funny over the U.S. mainland, it could be too late. An EMP blast before the ASAT weapon gets to it could prove pretty devastating.
That, by the way, is why the Outer Space treaty was put into place; having nukes in orbit was far too destabilizing and would have led to the world being just seconds away from WWIII (instead of the current approximately 30 minutes). Of course if the Iranians are going to ignore the non-proliferation treaty, who's to say they'll honor any others?
So there's a real incentive to deny the Iranians access to orbit. Anybody writing a James Bond script about this?
"While it may possibly be a shit-hole, it has nothing to do with their state religion"
This sounds even more stupid the more I read it. Whoosh.
deleting the extra space after periods so i can stay relevant, yeah.
Canada has a state religion? That conflicts with the following map (where gray represents "no state religion") as well as the very content of the page you linked to.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Map_of_state_religions.svg
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
I know you're trolling, but:
"Having a dictatorship ruled by religious fundamentalists of the worst kind"
Yes I also worry about the USA, a very frightening country.
GWB is not in office any more...
Also, honestly I must agree with the GP. There is already enough deterrant in the world. The US is not the only possessor of nukes. Iran wants nukes, has a stated goal of wiping Israel off the map (who also has nukes, whether or not it's an official position). WTF do you think is going to happen? The only real reason Israel has not been overrun is because they have a MAD device. If Iran gets one they almost certainly will attempt a first strike. After that the Pandora's box is open. Nukes have only twice before been directly used in anger.
The entire world took heel at that.
If I could wink an eye, snap a finger, was granted a wish, it would likely be to wipe out all nukes in the world, and make it impossible to make more. I am almost as pro nuke power as they come, but by no means does that mean I approve of atomic weapons. The only thing they are good for is to use their cores as power sources for RTGs on space probes, and as fuel for power plants. Swords to plowshares.
-nB
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Iran's goal for space exploration, and all of their technological innovation for that matter, is to force everyone in the universe to convert to their horrible religion or die... I for one hope that they keep on failing.
Maybe he's confusing it with being part of the British Monarchy? But I guess just because the Queen is the head of religion in the UK doesn't make her the head of religion in Canada - only the head of state.
W..w..W - Willy Waterloo washes Warren Wiggins who is washing Waldo Woo.
Canada has a state religion?
Yes. The main sacramental objects are beer, sticks, a hard rubber disc, and beer.
Some mornings it's hardly worth chewing through the restraints to get out of bed.
With burkhas that's the only fetish you have left.
I support the Slashcott and will not be reading or commenting from 2/10/14 to 2/17/14. Beta is steaming pile of dog shit
It's hard to understand how Iran or any other country with the same level of technology have trouble reverse-engineering and producing systems that were first built in the 60's. Iran like all the other 2nd or 3rd tier countries when it comes to developing technology have more than enough scientists and engineers (most of whom were educated in the West) capable of working on this type of technology.
Reverse-engineering and re-building up to specs (including testing in - duh - adequate testing facilities) is not cheap and it is extremely time consuming. There are a lot of qualified scientists in many countries, but they are forced by necessity to carry out experiments with a higher risk of failure. Without the wherewithal with which to carry their R&D to a degree sufficient to minimize error, one might as well ask them to re-build Persepolis with nothing more but spoons and silly putty mixed with buggers and poop. Technical know-how can only take you so far.
What evidence do you have that Iran would almost certainly attempt a first strike?
Iran's rulers are well aware that any attack they launched on Israel would receive an overwhelming response. I don't buy into the idea that Iran's rulers are a bunch of manic religious nuts that will suicide their entire country just to kill a bunch of Israelis.
Sure, they don't like Israel, but their biggest concern is maintaining their own position of power. They see nukes as a deterrent to keep outside forces from removing them from power. That's not to say that it's a good idea to let them have them, but I don't think it's a doomsday scenario either.
One time I threw a brick at a duck.