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White House Responds to ET/UFO Petitions
An anonymous reader writes "The White House has responded to two more We the People petitions. These new inquiries ask the government to acknowledge formally that aliens have visited Earth. The response from Phil Larson of the White House Office of Science and Technology is: 'The U.S. government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race. In addition, there is no credible information to suggest that any evidence is being hidden from the public’s eye.'" I'm glad that's cleared up. Now our government can get back to important work like developing caffeinated jerky.
We warmly welcome any further inquiries concerning matters distant from pressing issues that make the questioner look slightly insane for doubting us!
In fact, just in the spirit of openness, we voluntarily announce that neither we, nor the British royal family, are Pod People, or Reptoids from Delta Reticulon Minus. If you have any further requests for information or policy change that we can easily dismiss as being outside the window of political consideration, please let us know.
Ah, you underestimate the true conspiracy theorist's(don't let yourself be fooled by the plants) capacity for discerning the sinister complexity of the labyrinthine wheels within wheels...
By craftily wording their inquiry as though it were merely a risible question about aliens, our petitioner has forced Them to reveal that there is "no credible evidence" to suggest that the US Government has communicated with extraterrestrial beings, such as the so-called 'astronauts' who participated in the moon landing hoax, or 'space probes' that allegedly disprove the Hollow Earth theory!
78,32% of Americans believe any made up numbers.
So what exactly are you doing with this trapped alien and did it come in peace?
... and did it come in peace?
Well, originally, yes.