The Most Dangerous Toys of 2011
theodp writes "If you've procrastinated on your Xmas shopping this year, fear not: Gawker's just published its tongue-in-cheek 2011 Top Picks for Gifts That Maim or Poison Children. Until President Nixon enacted the first national safety standard for playthings with the Toy Safety Act in 1969, the toy industry was pretty much anything-goes. As a result of the legislation, children may live longer, but they'll never know the joys of many beloved-but-dangerous classics, including Zulu Guns, Jarts, and Clackers."
What sort of psychology are they playing at here?
When I was a wee lad we have to burn ourselves with Thing-makers, pinch fingers in gears of Erector sets and poison ourselves with Chemistry sets. Kids today have it much harder.
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
You'll lose an eye
. .
...were covered 30 years ago here.
They keep making safer toys we keep making more dangerous children.
air and light and time and space
From Shaka Zulu?
When I was a lad (50's/60's) we had a toy where you'd melt some metal (lead? or something with a low melting point anyway) in a little crucible over a burner and pour the result into a mold. It would cool and form a little metal soldier figure, whereupon you'd take the two sides of the mold apart and out it would fall.
I'm sure a few trips to the ER were caused somewhere or another due to this toy, but you know, I'd rather not lived in the kind of dumbed down idiot-proof world that comes from trying to save people from themselves. That's a surefire way to breed more idiots.
Now they're worried about foam darts. Not to mention the velocity difference.
Many of the toys on this list aren't very dangerous. I'd go as far as saying that a pencil is more dangerous than every single one of them. I can't fathom why this article appeared on this website.
In Soviet Russia meme tires of you!
Erm, are you serious?
How are they raising kids these days in the USA? Perpetually strapped into a car seat? I don't see any other way in which you could prevent them from "maiming" themselves with such murderous toys as those. I mean, they could get the hang of climbing stairs!!!11!!11!eleven
I RTFA just to make sure it would be as lame as I expected. It is. The Gawker sites are just a horrible waste of space. Less of this crap please!
http://www.acetonestudio.com
Gawker may think it's a joke, but the site they got most of those items from http://toysafety.org/worstToyList_index.shtml is serious as far as I can tell.
I'm thinking the article sounds more tongue in cheek than serious. That said, my niece has the trampoline, and the kids all go pretty wild on it. No big injuries yet. My daughter's preschool and kindergarten had the stepper stilts, and even with crowds of kids playing, they were never a problem. One of the more popular recess activities, in fact.
trampolines, plastic bow and arrows, etc. are deadly, but rifles and shotguns are okay for children?
http://www.crickett.com/
Only in America
Probably not so popular on the other side of the atlantic, but here in Britain, every october is conker season, where we attach horse chessnuts (invariably hardened by baking, soaking in vinegar, hand cream, galvanisation, you name it) to string, then smash them into an opponent's conker (or your own elbow if you miss) until one shatters into many pieces. If you drop it, you have to try to pick it up while your opponent repeatedly stamps on it. Joy and safety goggles all round!
I wrote my first program at the age of six, and I still can't work out how this website works.
Congress.
This process of making safe and 'sane' toys has been going on for a long time. When I was a lad back in the 1950's my aunt gave me her 1944 chemistry set (with extra glassware). It had a lot of experiments that had just quietly disappeared from the safer sets of my day. We could make gunpowder and thermite - whee! While yes, some overzealous experimenters could end up minus a digit or two (or worse), for the most part one learned to respect the dangerous components. Problem with this overly padded, no sparrow shall fall, society is that once the kids grow up (if ever) they will expect society to provide the same level of coddling/protection from the real hazards of life. Somehow respect, caution and awareness just aren't being passed on. Witness the number of folks who march off into the wilderness and then expect someone to bail them out. Life is dangerous and no one gets out alive. Deal with it...
New! From China, it's little Clara Cadmium. Lick her tummy and hear her giggle. Feed her led pellets and watch her gain weight. Realistic BPA-based skin is soft to the touch. Just $9.99. Turn the price upside down and learn little Clara's secret.
For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
I used to have a set of Clackers in the mid 70's, nailed myself in the head once, smashed a finger or two but it wasn't long before the novelty wore off. Even had a set of steel tipped Yard Darts, never had an accident. Perhaps the coolest toy I ever had were the electrified versions of Hot Wheels called Sizzlers. You plugged them into a charging station that held four "D" cell batteries, was shaped like a gas pump and held the top button down for 60 seconds (I always held it down for two or three minutes), unplugged them, turned the power switch on the bottom of the car and raced them on a track...
Ahhh, memories..
"I bow to no man" - Riddick
Who could forget the "Bag o' Glass" from SNL?
Sorry, but gray text on gray background is making my eyes bleed.
Where I come from a jart is a fart in a jar.
For the record, "Dangerous Toys" was the name of my '80s hair band. We disbanded in 1991 after our second album, titled Jarts in my Heart. We reunited in 2000 for a world tour, but we had to abandon it when my hernia started acting up and the bass player's hair plugs got infected. I told him it was gonna happen if he didn't wash his bandanna a little bit more often, but you know how bass players are. We used to know which way the stage was slanted by which side of his mouth had the drool coming out. You know what you do if your bass players drowning? Throw him his amp. How do you tell if the bass player's out of tune? You don't.
Anyway, I'd still be playing with them if they just made spandex tights in a relaxed fit. These days, I need a skosh more room in the seat and waist if I'm going to do the jumping in the air splits while windmilling chords on my Dimebag Darrell Signature three-pickup 7 string guitar, which I could totally still do. But not in these tights. That ship has sailed. Nowadays, I just take them out on the odd night when the classic rock station is playing a Get the Led Out commercial-free album set of Houses of the Holy.
You are welcome on my lawn.
When I was a kid we would play lawn darts and catch them out of the air. No big deal. Just think of the fun kids are missing these days.
To think, not so long ago, my siblings and I were all lobbing lawn darts at each other, yet we all lived and didn't even lose an eye.
Of course only those of us nimble enough to dodge are here to make and read these lawn dart posts. :-)
Adam Carolla was optimistic giving us 50 years. If the we really think the toys on this list are most dangerous, we are already a bunch of p-ssies.
Sure, BPA is "toxic" (if you eat stupid amounts of it, and you're under 6 months old...)
Seriously though, I'd hardly classify Playmobil as "dangerous"...
Have a set of original 1971 clackers in the kitchen drawer. Already introduced our 5-yo daughter to them - she can already do them better than me. I just cower, expecting them to explode violently...
It doesn't help that buying things as simple as labware probably get you thrown on some 'suspected meth cook' list, either.
Labware? In Canada just trying to buy nasal decongestant tablets is enough to require asking the chemist (the tablets are behind the counter), showing photo-ID and having your name recorded. When I asked why I had to do this when tablets with exactly the same decongestant, but including paracetamol (acetaminophen) as well, were on the shelves the reason given was that without the paracetamol the tablets can be used to make meth.
So by the time you are up to labware I'm sure you are being added to a terrorist watch list!
Dangerous Toy? My new BMW M3.
Bubbly sarcasm is just about the most obnoxious tone in written communication. How did this make slashdot, exactly?
and they ban the things? what a bunch of psychological marshmallows we've become. The body count for hot dog chokings goes into the thousands, bicycle made corpses would stack to the stratosphere....
They still sell clackers at the street fairs here in Tucson, AZ. When I mention to the locals about how I thought clackers were banned, everyone looks at me as if I am crazy. Tucson is very "Live and let your children break their forearms."
by Dennis Leary, says everything: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVUiCq8F2eY Dangerous toys are evolution catalysts.
"EZ Stepper Stilts" That's a plastic variant of a toy that's been know to exist for 800 years already. Suddenly it's on a list of things that "maim" children? Because you can fall of?! "Anything by playmobil" funny. We in Europe have stricter laws because we have less lobbyists and yet playmobil is a safe toy here. For the nanny state parents, be sure to wrap your kids in bisphenol free bubble wrap and make sure they learn nothing and have no fun!
It's most likely a good thing that we are weeding out the slow and clumsy and stupid LONG before they are able to breed.
Still sad.. Yeah. But it might be a good thing for society in general. Weeding out the less able. We have plenty of people really. And people die all the time.
Still sad tho.
I did a great many STUPID things when i was a kid. From fireworks to flamethrowers, Bicycles to motorized vehicles and heavy equipment. rockets to home made guns, Explosives to electricity. And ya know. i survived. it's fuckin amazing i survived. but i DID learn alot. And i consider myself better for surviving all of them.
On the other hand you have the dipshit down the street who lit a 5 gallon bucket of gunpowder.... with a match. in his hand.
Yeah he didnt survive to pass on his genes. And yeah it's sad. But i still consider it a good thing overall for the state of the universe.
We already have a serious problem with the stupid and unintelligent breeding more than average and above folks..
Someday in the future. it's a problem we WILL have to deal with. it's a mathmatical fact.
But we COULD just let it work itself out by letting kids have some fun and learning something. And thinning the herd.
Yes yes i know. you hate me. this is a troll post. blah blah blah.
but. i played with everything dangerous. and. *i* survived. can't be too difficult... scared your kids are stupider than i am?
captcha:lifespan (whoa)
GLOCK sidearms chambered for a 9MM round. They are light, clean, and can be field stripped with a single tool. With this sort of armament children can easily familiarize themselves with an anti-personnel weapon and it's maintenance without the need for expensive school books or extensive training beyond what is required for handgun ownership by state law. Remember this can do slightly more damage (in some cases) than objective C or martial arts and your child must be properly monitored at all times.
Its only funny until someone gets hurt.
Then, its hilarious!
Have gnu, will travel.
I remember lawn darts. We lost a lot of stupid kids with that one.
This is weird. You guys always act like the USA is the coolest, nothing can harm you, and you dare to go further, higher, deeper, and all that.
And the fact is, that for most of it, this is true! Or at least it was, and could still be. (I can't tell.)
But somehow every little danger or risk is either reported as, or actually does scare the crap out of you. (Again, I can't tell.)
"Oooh, we must forbid everything that is not clad in 10 inches of fluffy child-proof padding! And sue everyone whose producs aren't 100% idiot-proof!"
What the hell?? Why do I get the impression of the USA *actually* being the biggest pussies on the planet? That can't be right!?
Where is the spirit of "Hell, I may die in this, but it was damn fuckin' worth it!". Or maybe just taking a little risk for once in a while?
I know, I know.... all that fearmongering propaganda after 9/11... seems to have become a general state of mind.
But come on, this is not what you *really* are, inside, is it?
Please... let's get back out of it!
Terrorists? Scary? Bwahahahaha! A defense budget the size of VY Canis Majoris! THAT should scare the crap out of them!
Mortgage scam? Pfff, You are over 300 million people! You kick their fuckin' asses and take whatever you want!
Politicians lying to you and raping your constitution? Again: Three. Hundred. MILLION! Fuck them! They can be beheaded by tomorrow if you so much as blink!
China? Don't make me laugh! Their tech is from the 60s! At best! All they have is a shitload of people building pointless empty cities to give the illusion of progress and growth!
The only reason you think there is something you can't overcome, is because you think it!
Let's do something cool! Let's explore the universe! Let's play games and sports that are so extreme, that every 1000th person trying it dies, but 100% say if was fuckin' worth it! Let's do experiments that could leave the whole area in a weird quantum state, but give us progress worth a 100 years!
And let's be fucking EPIC again!
And just to think when I was little we would jump off the garage roof for fun. When my dad was little he wanted a toy machine gun and that was normal (early baby boomer), now if a kid writes in school that they want a machine gun toy then need counseling.
Time to offend someone
Speaking of lasers and toys. Some crazy school here was giving out laser pointers to school children as gifts.
The brother of one of the schoolkids told me these weren't the normal < 1mW laser pointers. They're extremely unlikely to be the "Wicked Laser" ones, but I won't be surprised if they could cause permanent eye damage.
"We all had lawn darts and played with fireworks and yet we all managed to survive just fine!" I feel the same way, as do many others here. However, I notice most people never speak up when they are with their wives and friends and see something like this in public. Your wife or wife's friends say, "Do you see that? Can you believe they are letting that little one do that?" 9 times out of 10 you hear crickets as a response.
-- freedom fighter with no complaints.
I had a set of clackers made of celluloid when I was young, and then carved a pair out of cherry wood. They were great! They taught me how to pay attention to what I was doing. As long as you kept the knots secure and the string didn't break, they only bruised up your fingers if your attention slipped. And they doubled as bolos in those cases where you needed a weapon :D
I mean, come on, *stilts*? A plastic sword? Anyone who actually thinks the toys on this list are among "the most dangerous" is the person who the labels on lawnmowers warning you not to lift it up over your head to trim hedges are targeted at.
mark
I was reading the article when I stumbled onto this gem about the Shrinky Dink oven:
"...one that uses a 120-volt current to power..." ::shudder::
The article should offer alternatives. My kid has had the Diggin JumpSmart Trampoline since he was 2 and we have bought 3 for our friends since. They're not that expensive and they all love it. It doesn't tip over easily and it appears safer than any other trampoline. Here is where to buy it on Amazon: Diggin JumpSmart Trampoline.
:/
It's freaking $42. I just bought one for $60 for my nephew 2 weeks ago.
As a consumer, I do not want to buy dangerous toys to my children. I am happy that everything that is sold as a toy is safe and tested so. If I feel like having my kids use dangerous apparatus for enjoyment, I prefer knowing that I am doing so, rather than having to weight the potential dangers of any and every "toy" on the market. Many toys are obviously dangerous (like the reviled Jarts), some are not as obviously wrong (think of lead painted toys, TNT capable chemistry set, etc. that look just like a safe entertainement, but are not).
I have a friend who (45 years ago) melted aluminum on the kitchen stove, using cast iron cookware. He used the aluminum to make duplicate keys.
Contribute to civilization: ari.aynrand.org/donate
How is this news for nerds?
Will nobody point out that all the posters saying "I lived through my childhood" are a self-selecting group?
The most dangerous toy of all is a modified Nerf Maverick: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEQKecMUawc It's cheap. It's easily attained. And it's easily modified into a lethal weapon. Now that's something that needs to be banned.