Scientists Work Towards Naturally Caffeine-Free Coffee

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Scientists Work Towards Naturally Caffeine-Free Coffee

Posted by timothy on Thursday March 15, 2012 @02:29AM from the preemptive-buzzkill dept.

First time accepted submitter eternaldoctorwho writes "Research has been underway to produce a coffee bean plant that naturally has no or little caffeine content. Now, it looks like that might become a reality in the near future: Paulo Mazzafera of the University of Campinas in Brazil has come closer than ever with a strain containing 'only 2% of normal caffeine levels.' Coffee, anyone?"

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Caffeine-free coffee by Z00L00K · 2012-03-15 02:30 · Score: 5, Insightful

It's like a car without wheels or a computer without a CPU.

--
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker would destroy civilization.
1. Re:Caffeine-free coffee by Idbar · 2012-03-15 02:36 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  Agree. Like I care to get coffee for the taste. If I want something tasty, very likely it will be a smoothie or plain juice. I wonder if Starbucks has statistics about the consumption of decaf?
2. Re:Caffeine-free coffee by Anonymous Coward · 2012-03-15 02:37 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  It's like taking the cocaine out of Coca-Cola.
3. Re:Caffeine-free coffee by Jeremiah+Cornelius · 2012-03-15 02:45 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  STOP THESE PEOPLE!
  Decaffeinated, Sugar Free, Low Fat Guardians to the GAtes of Hell!
  Those things are not a problem.
  
  --
  "Flyin' in just a sweet place,
  Never been known to fail..."
4. Re:Caffeine-free coffee by neurophil12 · 2012-03-15 03:19 · Score: 5, Insightful
  
  I would love such a drink. I'm extremely sensitive to caffeine, but I enjoy coffee quite a bit. In fact, the stuff is more likely to put me to sleep than keep me awake, so I tend to enjoy coffee after some dinners rather than early or during the day. Occasionally I have a cup of decaf during the day. If this coffee becomes available I'd drink it much more frequently than I drink coffee now.
  
  I've heard of others like myself, though I doubt we're a particularly large portion of the population, so we are probably not a major reason for this research. Still, why are you so against people having a less processed low-caffeine option? And how is railing against such a possibility with zero facts or specific arguments in any way insightful?
5. Re:Caffeine-free coffee by JustOK · 2012-03-15 03:29 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Like my wife.
  Sure, what's her facebook id?
  
  --
  rewriting history since 2109
6. Re:Caffeine-free coffee by stjobe · 2012-03-15 03:38 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Aye.
  It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
  It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
  The hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning.
  It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
  
  --
  "Total destruction the only solution" - Bob Marley
Blasphemy! by HeavyDDuty · 2012-03-15 02:31 · Score: 5, Insightful

If it has no caffeine it isn't coffee. Yes, this includes decaf.
1. Re:Blasphemy! by mcgrew · 2012-03-15 03:10 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Decaffinated coffeeee--it's what they serve in Hell
  
  A thief dies in a gun battle with police, and when he reaches hell, he's given a tour and told he has a choice of how he spends eternity.
  The first place he is shown has a man with oozing sores all over hime, in agony.
  The next one shown is a man chained to a wall.
  The next room has a bunch of people up to their waists in raw sewage drinking coffee. The murderous thief says "I guess that's my choice." He's given a cup of coffee and wades into the cesspool.
  The next thing he hears is "Ok everybody, coffee break's over. Go back to standing on your heads."
  
  --
  Free Martian Whores!
You RUINS IT! by Warhawke · 2012-03-15 02:34 · Score: 5, Funny

Wicked, tricksy, false! It chokeses, burnses us! Gollum! Gollum!
Why? by Anonymous Coward · 2012-03-15 02:34 · Score: 4, Insightful

"Scientists Work Towards Naturally Caffeine-Free Coffee"
Why would anyone do such a thing?
This Is Just Wrong by Kozar_The_Malignant · 2012-03-15 02:35 · Score: 4, Insightful

And we wonder why people see scientists as evil, soulless bastards out to destroy the very fabric of society? Doesn't this university have an ethics committee?

--
Some mornings it's hardly worth chewing through the restraints to get out of bed.
What's next? by mordejai · 2012-03-15 02:43 · Score: 4, Insightful

I wonder what other abominations they'll come up with next...
Non-alcoholic beer?
Sugar-free candy?
Fat-free milk?
Oh, wait...
in other news... by spectrokid · 2012-03-15 02:53 · Score: 4, Funny

scientists are working on orgasm-free sex, first person shooters with blank bullets, and political discussions free of nazi-references. Next up: soccer games where swearing at the referee gets muffled with anti-sound.

--
10 ?"Hello World" life was simple then
Wrong Direction by ari_j · 2012-03-15 03:30 · Score: 5, Funny

Almost twelve years ago, Slashdot posted an article about the caffeine gene in coffee plants being isolated. At that time, the Futurama references were fresh, but what we all wanted was caffeinated bacon (and baconated grapefruit). Or at least caffeinated apples. An apple with caffeine would solve 100% of the problems in my life. The future was promising. We all believed that genetic engineering would allow this gene to be spliced into other vegetables, animals, and yes, even minerals by now.
Now, over a decade later, the last great promise of the pre-9/11 world has been broken. We are using science not for good, but for evil. Our only hope is that the scientists committing this blasphemy drink their own creation and fall asleep before they can finish their work.