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IT Calls of Shame
snydeq writes "InfoWorld's JR Raphael offers up six memorable tales of trouble and triumph from the tech support desk. 'Working in tech support is a bit like teaching preschool: You're an educator who provides reassurance in troubling times. You share knowledge and help others overcome their obstacles. And some days, it feels like all you hear is screaming, crying, and incoherent babble.' Pronoun problems, IT ghosts, the runaway mouse — when it comes to computers, the customer isn't always right."
Working in tech support is a bit like teaching preschool: (blah blah removed)
Rather than the blah blah, from memory it seemed more like changing diapers, over and over and over and occasionally breaking up inter-sibling rivalry. It was excellent training for parenthood.
"Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
http://thedailywtf.com/
AccountKiller
"Please replace user, and try again."
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
"Hello IT......Have you tried turning it off and on again? Yeah....no problem."
Please send them my way. My compay will thrive with the new business. I treat customers right, which usually results in new transactions from the same customers. Whuch, in turn, recommend my business to their friends/family/co-workers.
But hey, it's much easier to blame tough times on stupid customers and Obama (obviously).
As far as #2 goes, I've been partially deaf since my toddler years and it really does help a lot if women are able to lower their voices. Most people just try to talk louder, but if you have a higher pitch (like most women), then deepening your voice will be a much more significant improvement over talking louder.
http://www.infoworld.com/print/190061
In most ways, this is true. Too many stories have come out about people screeeeaming at tech support, only to realize the computer isn't plugged in.
However, I had a recent experience with Verizon support when I wanted to ban an IP address from emailing me; I'm not the most tech-savvy in the universe, and everyone here could've probably done it themselves in seconds, but I knew the basics, anyway. I went to every forum, yahoo! help section, whatever else to find a way to stop getting these awful emails from someone using an IP-masking/dummy-email service; most used MY email as the 'sender'. The content of the messages, ones I'd get literally hundreds of in one day at some points, would make me physically ill. When I'd had enough, I hit 'full header', got the IP and zeroed in on where it was coming from. I called Verizon and started a help session, where the guy helping me took control of my computer.
TS: Okay, what we will do is block the email address sending these to you--
Me: No, no, I want the IP blocked. This one. *mouses around to show IP*
TS: Okay. *pause* So, you want these emails to stop.
Me: Yes, I want the IP blocked. I read a forum saying to contact your internet service provider to find ways to block the IP.
TS: Okay. *pause* But we can block the email address, which will--
Me: No. No, okay... look... *takes control again* THIS is the website this person sending me these abusive emails is using. THIS is the website's IP address. When I get the emails, each one has the same IP, because they're USING this service's IP to harass me. Look, they're using MY email address as a 'dummy'; blocking the email address means I'm blocking MY email address. *clicks full header from two different emails* See? These are alllll being sent from the same IP. This is a site people use when they want to abuse someone without being found out. Watch. *demonstrates by sending an email to herself from the service being used (probably not the best idea in the universe, but he was NOT. GETTING. IT.)* See?
TS: Ohhhhhhhhhh. Yes. It's not the email you want blocked, but the IP.
Me: *looks to husband and shakes her head very slowly*
There I am, a total amateur, telling a guy being paid to NOT be an idiot what I wanted done. No matter how many times I told him that forums and tech-guides all suggested getting your internet provider to help block IPs, he couldn't grasp the idea. I don't know if that IS possible, so I'm giving up on some aspects of tech support and just going to my brother, who, at eight-years old, outdid the instructor at the 'Computer Camp' he was enrolled in. Kinda sick of being so newbish when it comes to this stuff. I told him yesterday at my parent's Easter dinner he was going to teach me everything he knew. We're both kinda psyched.
You want to know how to help your kids? LEAVE THEM THE F*&K ALONE. --George Carlin
I've always thought working in IT was more like being with a beautiful abusive spouse than anything else.
When times are good, they are really good. You're happy, you're content, and you want the world to know that you love this job.
But when things are bad, they are really bad. You get the shit knocked out of you for the smallest things. You learn little rituals and laundry lists of rules and behaviors that you have to engage it, because you're afraid to get hit again. Of course, some days the mood is just wrong and you're going to get it no matter what.
When you do finally decide that you've had enough, and you turn your back on IT, all you can remember is the beautiful amazing job that you suddenly don't have and it takes every ounce of willpower not to go crawling back. Oh, sure, you know that IT has a history of this sort of thing. Life will be great for a couple of weeks then suddenly it will go back to a living hell, but you think... hey, I'm older and wiser now. Maybe IT has changed. Maybe I can change IT.
But IT never changes.
Why insult them by asking? Just do the job, fix the issue, leave, and bill them. Not every tech support issue difficult, in fact most are quite simple troubleshooting. The smartest people miss simple things sometimes.
I once worked on my next-door-neighbor's computer to solve a printer problem. The printer was not connected, and he didn't know what kind of cable he needed. I found a spare USB cable that would fit. I felt it was odd that his USB connections were so far down at the bottom of the back of his case, but I've seen a lot of odd cases. I downloaded the drivers and installed them, nothing unusual; the printer was soon working normally. My delighted neighbor and asked me if I could check the computer's CD drive. He told me that the last time he had tried to use it, the CDs just kept sliding right off the drawer each time he tried to load it. I was surprised to find that the CD drive was at the very bottom of the front of the case. Curious, I tried to find the maker's name. It was LLED, except the letters were written backwards.
It was a very easy fix, I can tell you. I managed to get everything set, and get out of his apartment and back into mine before I burst out laughing. I told my girlfriend about the mysterious DELL computer case I had just seen and how I had fixed my neighbor's computer simply by flipping it right side up.
She refused to believe that anyone could be that stupid, but there you have it.
I'll share my own store of tech support blues...
Back in the day, I worked at a dial-up ISP. I was working in tech support, and working in the PC-Repair office, and while most calls were the "Your caps lock is on" and "The power is out, wait for it to turn on" issues. There were some fun with the PC-Repair office (Coffee stains in the CD Load-tray (the stories are true!), or the "I never used antivirus! I know what I'm doing" people that tended to wind up on our "Maleware Count High Score" board.
One day I took a call from a lady that said she couldn't send and receive email. She said she was on her cell phone so I had her walk through trying to get the email and get the error message - 680: No dial tone. So I asked her to make sure the phone cord is plugged in to the computer and the wall. She said her laptop didn't need to be plugged in using a phone cord. Well now I'm thinking she had a wireless network setup and about to go through those settings, when I noticed the sound in the background.... Traffic. She and her husband was in the middle of the road. She insisted that she could unplug everything and still get her email while on the freeway before. Ends up that laptop was their only computer (no home wireless). I told her she could send/receive email when she connects to a phone line again, but she demanded to talk to my manager, who confirmed everything I said. She ended up stating she would look for other services that would know how their systems run better... I checked a couple of months later and her account was still active. Guess no other dial-up internet company offered a hundred mile long phone cord.
if (it != oneThing) it = another;
Don't forget computer vo0doo.
You were the last person to work on my computer and that was 4 years ago. It has been working perfectly, I have installed no new software, I have made no changes. Ha! now it is not working and it is something that YOU did 4 years ago that is causing the problem. Fix it NOW and fix it for FREE.
Yes, you are the hoodoo with the voodoo. Magically something you did 4 years back has kept the computer running beautifully for 4 years, then all of a sudden "poof" it has broken everything. Links don't open, and the computer runs slow.
Do I even need to mention that on a computer with NO software installs in 4 years, now has 10 browser bars and Add/Remove programs shows Smiley Central was installed 2 days ago.
vi +
Years ago I worked at small ISP, doing some web design, as well as phone support. Needless to say the phone support took up a majority of my time, and there were some fun conversations. Here's my favorite of all time:
An older lady called me one day extremely apologetic. She kept lamenting to me how sorry she was and how bad she felt, and keep asking me if all of my other customers were calling and complaining. It was her fault! She was adamant about that. Finally as she calmed down a bit, and I asked her why she was so upset. "I think I broke the Internet". I looked at my boss, who had wandered to my desk, (he could hear her frantic apologies through my headset), and I gave him a Spock-like eyebrow raise, covered my mic, and told him "She broke the internet." He chuckled, said "Have fun!" and went back to his desk.
So I explained to her that the Internet wasn't broke, and how it was highly unlikely that she could have broken the internet, so don't worry. She was fairly calm at this point, so I asked her "Ma'am, so what made you so concerned that you called me? What happened?" Her response was: "Well, I had an icon on my screen that said 'The Internet', and I think I accidentally deleted it. I thought I deleted the whole Internet!"
Poor lady. Remember when the IE icon actually said "The Internet"? You couldn't delete it either (not without some IT knowledge she didn't possess). So I walked her through auto-arranging her desktop icons and POOF there it was. She must have moved it off screen.
It's a tough job, but I do miss feeling like a hero.