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Ask Slashdot: Good Low Cost Free Software For Protecting Kids Online?
An anonymous reader writes "I have two kids, 7 and 8. I would love to allow them internet access on a regular basis. The problem is what's out there: I really don't want them to deal with porn ads and such, but making either a blacklist or a whitelist myself would take months. So I figured I would ask you: what free software would you use with preferably prebuilt lists to protect your kids online? What is out there with fairly easy configuration ability (to allow for game servers — they love Minecraft), but secure enough they can't just bypass it using a Google search?"
Put the computer in the living room and smack 'em in the head when you catch them going where they shouldn't
If you're looking for software to take care of your children for you, you've already failed as a parent.
The internet is all about communication, be it with other individuals, corporations, etc.
Would you let a 7 or 8 year old talk to random people from around the world without supervision? No?
Then you may want to consider just making sure that there's a human with your children while they're using the thing, until they're at an age where you choose to trust them on their own for a bit. You'll be there to explain the odd random thing that happens.
"You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help" -- Calvin
I'm not aware of any Free software in this space, for free software you've got MS Live Family Safety (works with most browsers on Windows and some applications) and OpenDNS content filtering. I use the Live family safety on their laptops and OpenDNS on their tablets.
There are 4 boxes to use in the defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, ammo. Use in that order. Starting now.
Try OpenDNS. It's got good granularity for filtering criteria and you can either filter at your router, or on a per-computer basis.
Plus, their founder has a /. UID of 17.
My father uses this software, BSecure Whole Home Filtering. Its great, you can customize the filters to your hearts content. Plus you can cover all the computers in your network by changing DNS servers on your router.
Link: http://www.bsecure.com/
I've used K9 Web Protection for years. http://www1.k9webprotection.com/ It's free and does a pretty good job. I also setup my wireless router to use OpenDNS as an added layer of protection for any of my kids friends who may bring something over and connect to our wireless network. It's not foolproof, but you can setup a filter level and it does a decent job of stopping "accidental" clicks.
Firefox, AdBlockPro, Noscript, and the computer in the living room.
One possibility is http://dansguardian.org/
It is filtering based and there are community maintained blacklists and whitelists for it for different audiences.
Good luck and as much involvement as you can have in their internet use to teach sensible web use will be beneficial as well.
Wax on, wax off baby!
Helicopter parenting FTW!
Or not... i've seen kids who's parents watch carefully over their shoulders all their childhood. They don't make good adults.
I have kids of my own
I love them
I like to think of ways to protect them
But I also know that I simply can't protect them 24/7
Instead, I teach them ways to protect themselves
I teach them how to discern the good from the bad, the right from the wrong, and why something are "Right", and others are "Wrong"
Services like "Net Nanny" (and others) can only give an illusion of "protection" - and parents all over, always like the feeling of instant gratification, that "My Kids Are Protected"
Sure, I am worry about the safety of my kids, but I prefer to let them learn, from the real world, rather than creating an artificial green-house so that my kids are insulated from the real world out there
Perhaps my approach is wrong
Perhaps I am a bad dad
But that's what I did, and that's what I do, and what I will do, for my children, whom I adore !!
Muchas Gracias, Señor Edward Snowden !
You probably aren't a parent. Most people here hold your view (as I did) until they have little ones to protect, then decide that the educational opportunity offered by /b/tards and Goatse is pretty much zero, and decide to restrict educational opportunity to the books available at home and in the library.
My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii. She sells C shells by the seashore.
Your boy's not old enough to have hormones going wild and informing him that boobies are the greatest invention ever, so that software makes sense to avoid inadvertent stumbling upon. For the parents of kids just a bit older though, it's use is likely both useless and a symptom of bad parenting. As soon as they're physically able to reproduce, they need to be able to make decisions about it as a responsible adult; they will be in situations where they have the final say on the matter.
Me, I'd say both he and society are better off if he's wanking to a porn tube site and not knocking up the thirteen year old girl down the block. So, drop the net filter subscription and invest in either a damned good anti-virus or teach him to use Linux. Before it becomes an issue, because you've no idea when he's going to talk his way into his first set of panties.
Violence is like duct tape. If it doesn't solve the problem, you didn't use enough.
I've two kids of my own and, amazingly enough, I was a kid once as well.
Monitoring and Filtering software is rubbish. All it does is create an artificial wall that your kids will see as a "forbidden" area. You are a /. user which means, most likely, you are a smart guy. That means your kids are probably smart too. Putting up a program like this - your kids will see a challenge and go out of their way to break/circumvent it. It's what I would have done as a kid...
Communicate with your kids. Educate them. Explain to them about the internet and life in general. There are things and places that are not good for them now and it's best if they don't go there. But do it in a way that doesn't insult their intelligence. Amazingly enough, education and communication work. Will they maybe end up with a nasty pop-up on screen? Maybe. But that might happen even with NetNanny installed.
Treat your kids like people, tell them of the dangers, explain WHY those things are dangers, and give them alternatives.
PS: No - I am not some, "Think of the children", bleeding heart freak. My kids have been spanked on occasion, they've been grounded, and done plenty wrong. They are kids. Shit happens. But by treating them like people and not pets, the shit that has happened has been minor and far less than most of my "Time-out" peers.
*snickers
First porn I saw? Elementary school (black and white photos)
Second naked pics? Library (color, woohoo!)
Third naked pics? Home
First information about hardcore sexual practices? Psychology section of school library.
It works best to guide our children, we instill values in them a far earlier age than most realize, then they make their own decisions. But if you decide to make them work around your efforts to thwart their curiosity, such sites can easily be included in the Hosts file provided above.
I thought the same way you did-- concern over my kids, hands wringing, brow sweating...
Then I had a revelation-- I could just install MY CLEAN PC! and it was truly the answer to all my
-- aaah, f**k it. Nevermind.
Spoken like somebody who doesn't have children.
It is not unreasonable to want to prevent your children from being exposed to hardcore pornography at the age of 7. It is not unreasonable to want them to learn about sex and sexuality from a source that won't teach your daughters that slutty is what men like, and that their bodies are all wrong, and need silicone, and botox, and collagen, and liposuction and thousands of dollars of other cosmetic surgery to be attractive to men; or from a source that will teach your sons that women are sluts, bitches, and whores to be used as nothing more than a willing hole, and that "real" women have bodies like porn stars.
They are not old enough to understand the nuances of sexuality at that age. Their minds are still developing, and it is not unreasonable to want to make sure that their minds are not being filled with garbage. Looking at a black and white pair of tits is a LOT different than a 30 minute high-def, full color video showing everything in brutally clinical detail. It's natural that they will be curious about sexuality as they begin to mature - and that's why a responsible parent will make sure they HAVE resources to satisfy their curiosity - but if you think that the hardcore porn being produced today has educational value in teaching children about their sexuality, you are way, way, way off base.
Spoken like somebody who doesn't have children.
Not all children are the same, anyway. What works for one may not work for another. You know, like with human beings...
Filthy, filthy copyrapists!
There IS NO SOFTWARE SOLUTION that will keep your kids safe on the 'net.
Period.
You'll simply have a *very* false sense of security, a hole in your time/budget, and kids that learn first that you're not very smart, and second, that the game to play is "find ways around limitations my parents set for me". That, and they'll also quickly learn all about "two girls, one cup", "lemonparty", and probably "goatse" as well.
Either be around when they're using the 'net, or turn the damn thing *off*, and tell them to do something else. It's really not that hard.
Sure, you won't be "cool". You might not be your kid's "friend" any more, at least for a while. They might even tell you "I HATE you!!".
Suck it up. YOU are the adult here. YOU set rules & limits. You're supposed to be a parent, not their buddy. Your job isn't being "cool". Your job is doing "parent" things, like make unpopular decisions that they may not understand for years yet, if ever.
Try setting rules that they're not to go online without a parent around. Take a crucial cable with you, or lock it up, when you're not there. Put the computer in the family/living room.
You have to decide whether the time you spend doing things other than supervise your children's 'net use is more important than they are. Software can't do it. It's just there to salve your conscience with illusion, and make money from your guilt.
This isn't rocket surgery.
Strat
Progressivism (aka US 'Liberalism'): Ideas so good they need a police/surveillance-state to enforce.
I tried to use OpenDNS and it works well as long as the kids know nothing about computers. If your kids become ever so much computer-savvy, they will find out how to set the DNS to something else real soon.
In my case (I have two boys, 12 and 14) I had my DHCP server set so the MAC hardware for their PC would get a fixed IP address with OpenDNS and also set my firewall to restrict certain traffic (games, chat) during night hours. Not for long they found out how to change their MAC address. Next step will be to use VLAN switches and block any non-registered MAC address on the ports to their computer. Wonder how long it will be before they start using tethering phone connections, NAT, whatever..
Technology will help for a while. Next to that, make sure you guide and educate your kids. They'll see stuff soon enough. If it isn't at home, it will be at some friend's place, an internet cafe, you name it. Prepare them and they will be fine.
To Terminate, or not to Terminate, that's the question - SCSIROB
I simply don't think that 9 year olds should be using the Internet unsupervised. But I definitely think that children should not have TV sets in their rooms. (In fact, the majority view of my children is not to have TV in the house).
From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
Aaah yes, because fetishism is a sign of mental illness...
No, it's not, the fact that some shrinks haven't caught up to the times is not my problem.
The vast majority of people have fetishest fantasies, many are comfortable expressing it and live happier lives because of that.
The fact that more and more people reach that level of comfort at an earlier age is not a bad thing, it's a GOOD thing.
Let me put it this way - me and my wife are planning to have children, we already decided that our habit of being naked around the house will not change. We will not suddenly start hiding the handcuffs and spanking paddles lying about the house, we will not suddenly put a lock on the play-room door and order them never to enter it - we'll just tell them "when the door is closed, you cannot come in."
Many people think that raises HEALTHIER children. In many cultures, that is how ALL children are raised (most of Europe).
In Dutch culture for example it's common for teenagers to have a sit-down with their parents when they feel ready to have sex and discuss it with them - the young couple asking for advice (not just practical but on the whole thing) before going ahead.
It's also normal practice to get consent, along with good advice.
The Netherlands boasts one of the lowest teen pregnancy rates in the world. And get this bit: 70% of American's regret the timing or person with whom they had their first sexual experience according to studies. In the Netherlands, only 15% would like to change anything.
Unicode killed the ASCII-art *
At the age of 7, perhaps, but at 13+ hardcore porn can have an effect on what teenagers see as "normal".
So basically... you've linked me to a few examples. Kind of like blaming Doom for Columbine. What idiotic 13 year olds are these? And assuming they take everything at face-value, why aren't the parents there educating them? It's not porn's fault.
I looked at porn when I was a kid and when I was a teenager. I suspect most people do. Now, how many go out and rape others because of it?
Filthy, filthy copyrapists!
>I've seen no evidence to support your conclusion that it's unlikely they'll be hurt by it. So we're even there.
No, you're not. See you're the one who is making a prediction. In scientific terms - that makes you the one who has to provide proof. He is denying that there is any grounds for your prediction.
Of course, the real truth is, most parents define "their children will become sexual beings who are ultimately sexually active with their own natural kinks and pleasures" as "harm".
Here's my advice dude - go stand in the mirror and say to yourself: "One day my little angel will have a great time being somebody else's dirty, dirty girl... or possibly his/her mean dominatrix"
Then say it until you make peace with the fact and stop being scared of it. You'll be a much better parent afterward.
Unicode killed the ASCII-art *
My links weren't very good, but I don't think you read them anyway. Notice that they end with ".UK", I'm in Europe too.
I have no problem with fetishism. (Also, the quote isn't from a "shrink", it's from the editor of the letters page for a crap newspaper.) What is a problem is when outside influences (pornography, media, etc) normalise certain behaviours, which pressures teenagers into doing things they don't want to do.
Here's a quote from a report by the NSPCC (British charity, National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty for Children)
Our research into young people’s experiences of violence in their intimate relationships
clearly demonstrates the very high levels of violence that some girls experience from their
male partners. A third of girls reported some form of sexual violence and a quarter
experienced physical violence, with many reporting controlling behaviours from their
partners. The very detrimental impact of such violence on the welfare of girls is clear. In
contrast although boys did report experiencing violence from a partner, only a minority
reported any detrimental impact.
Some boys in the interviews showed very negative attitudes to girls, often objectifying them.
This was especially prevalent in their attitudes towards pressuring girls into sexual contact
and their lack of awareness regarding the impact of this on their female partners. For example,
in one group interview with three boys, when they discussed their sexually coercive ‘tactics’
the other boys in the group responded with admiration. It was clear that some boys
predominantly viewed girls as primarily sexual objects, and that sexual coercion was seen as
normal and acceptable. Little regard was held for the girls’ feelings. In other interviews boys
were either unsure or unaware if their behaviour constituted sexual pressure. The pressure on
boys from peers and the media to portray a dominating sexual persona is also an issue.
In contrast, for girls a disembodied and passive sexuality predominated where sexual pleasure
was mostly absent in their discussions. Many girls stated that the sexual aspects of their
relationships primarily consisted of attempting to resist the pressure they experienced from
male partners. They found this aspect of their relationships hard to negotiate and worried that
their partners would finish the relationship if they confronted them about their behaviour.
These girls derived a great deal of peer status from having a boyfriend – a key protective
factor would be to ensure girls were able to gain self-esteem from other aspects of their lives.
Is that acceptable? I doubt many of them discussed their relationship with their parents, and I doubt their parents had that kind of relationship.
You raise a point, still the massive left-over anger from completely clashing with my dad over how one should live your life was so huge by 21 that when I felt he was making a mistake in a decision about a much younger sibbling - we had a fall-out so big I didn't even visit my parents again for 6 years.
What if one of them, or me, had died in that time ?
Now 14 years after I left school - we get along fine, I live my life exactly the way I said I wanted to when I was 14, the difference - now my dad cannot tell me not to.
I knew he had good intentions, boys who die their hair pink on one side and blue on the other have a harder time getting jobs in his world-view (but I don't have that problem because I have a sufficiently impressive resume that employers really don't give a damn what I look like - especially since my work isn't customer-facing).
Over the years, he even came to adopt some of my ideas - especially in terms of artistic expression and the need for that to be uncensored even by yourself.
We got along great until I hit puberty, then we didn't actually get along at all again until I was so old and successfull that he stopped trying to tell me how to live. Now I can happily ask his advice about many things - things where he has experience I lack (I bought my first house a few months ago, he's had a few - of course I had him help me go over the contracts and check that the deal was above board and the house was really what it appeared to be).
I also grew up enough that when a while ago he said to me "maybe you should stop with the tattoos now, it's getting a bit much" I didn't get angry - I just smiled and ignored it. But I didn't have that capacity at 18 - I had a sense of who I was, but I didn't have a decade's worth of proof that it can work, I had nothing to back me up then - just stubbornness to drive me forward.
So sure, kids hating parents mostly work out after a few years... I would rather not have such a few years with my kids - because I don't know that I, or they, will be around long enough to see it end.
Unicode killed the ASCII-art *
> Notice that they end with ".UK", I'm in Europe too.
UK is really not representative of European culture in general. I don't live in either but I've visited both many times for extended periods.
> What is a problem is when outside influences (pornography, media, etc) normalise certain behaviours, which pressures teenagers into doing things they don't want to do.
So teach your kids about body-ownership. Teach them that conformity is evil and it's important to be true to yourself. Then if your daughter WANTS her ass spanked then she will do so without spending years feeling guilty about it - and if she doesn't want it (or maybe wants to DO the spanking) she'll have the courage and confidence to look her puppy love in the eyes and say so.
That's what I want to give my daughters, I want to raise little Tiffany Achings.
Unicode killed the ASCII-art *
Don't know why it hasn't been mentioned in all of the comments so far, but Open DNS http://www.opendns.com/home-solutions/parental-controls/ will handle exactly what you need, and its harder to bypass than some other software out there.