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Witness Ridicules 'Hands-On' Reviews of Surface
Freshly Exhumed writes "Danny Sullivan over at Marketing Land has been tipped over the edge by various colleagues: 'After seeing yet another "hands-on" review of the Microsoft Surface tablet, I thought it would be interesting to shed more light on what exactly the journalists who assembled in Hollywood this week for the Surface launch event actually got to do with the tablets. In short, not a lot. Come along as I explain the hands-off reality of what I saw.' In response to Sullivan's criticisms, TechRadar contributor Mary To Many rebuts that merely touching something that does not operate nor even truly exist equates to an actual hands-on review. So, what do Slashdotters expect a "hands-on" review to reveal and/or include?"
Of course this is no different than an Apple product âoedemoâ or any other new product release event. This "story" is nothing more than typical âoeMicrosoft Hateâ without any real substance. Folks, it was a PR event. The product itself is still under development and yet to be released. Seriously folks, feel free to hate Microsoft, but get a clue about PR-driven product announcementsâ¦
If you want news from today, you have to come back tomorrow.
Most "Reviews" I see on the 'net are just summaries of what you find in the product folder, nothing more. So what's new about this?
-- Cheers!
MS's problems are really kind of bizarre. It's not for lack of talent or trying they just keep screwing up. It has to be management. You don't get such systematic across the board f' ups unless management is behind it.
I've decided to stop wasting my time responding to AC trolls/sockpuppets... so if you want a response from me... login.
Filthy hands, never heard of soap.
All this relevent information was already covered by Engadget, TheVerge, etc, etc. None-story here. They did a press event. No prices, no date of availablility, and they didn't want folks to actually touch the demo models running beta versions of an OS on beta hardware. Shocker.
Was "Surface" the best name they could come up with? Geeze.
It even makes them sound like a copycat who is coming up a day late and dollar short.
Makes "zune" seem like something they actually had a marketing professional come up with by comparrison.
I would drop the most basic things like
1. Weight on hands (as every person finds it different)
2. Feel on fingertips (every person finds it different, and I mean personal opinions "This feels nice" but you can say if there is texture or rubber or it is slippery)
3. Where the slots are (you can find them from screenshots, but I would like to hear which way the slots are if they are under cover, meaning some MicroUSB ports are wrong way installed so you need to plug cable other way as well).
4. Opinions of color (you can only mention available versions but not opinions are they cool looking etc).
5. All the typical "This is "X-based"" and so on. No need to mention "This use Android Ice Scream Sandwich" as it is enough to mention at start "Android 4.0".
6. Use correct names for software systems, like not "Android Ice Scream Sandwich" but "Android 4.0" as that way people know better what it is about, so leave code names to ignorance nerds and wannabe teens.
7. Do not show basic stuff... like "this has a touch screen" unless it is something new and special way, like having touch screen on keyboard etc.
8. Again, leave all personal opinions out unless you really want to focus for specific fans.
How many journalists can you name from the top of your head that follow a code of ethics and perform their function which is to report the news ojectively?
Yea, I thought so.
In this buzzphrase-dominated media society, journalists rank very high on own fart-smelling.
The three laws of thermodynamics:(1) You can't win. (2) You can't break even. (3) You can't even quit.
I guess these reviews just scratched the surface.
If the reviewer's hands were on the device, it's a hands-on review.
Duh.
I think the surface will be terrible to use as a tablet just because MS chose the ratio to match current laptop screens.
Its just too thin either orientation.
You loose half the screen for things that pop-out from the bottom or top including the keyboard and if you turn it upright its too thin to deliver a decent experience for most things. Traditionally you use portrait for web-pages buy the arm one does not horizontal resolution to view it naively.
If its a poor tablet then and it wont be as good for typing as laptop then its doomed to find its self a small uninteresting niche. This is made worse because its only available online or from an MS store.
http://www.freeimagehosting.net/79hsw
(Embeds not allowed.)
Agreed, reviewer also seems amazed by the fact it's a complete OS running on a tablet, as though it's a first. Supposedly nobody told him Samsung released the Series 7 Slate. Even knowledge of the domain you are discussing seems to be too much to ask nowadays.
a hands on review must include a game of angry birds
preferably by a drooling 3 year old
if the toddler plays for more than 3 minutes without dropping the thing and wandering off (weight and functionality), the tablet will be a success
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
>Again, like I wrote before, if I could have only two of three tablets, I’d go iPad then Windows 8 and not Android, because Android’s not offering me anything I can’t already do on the iPad but with (to me) what’s not an elegant environment. Windows 8 is different, unique, seems to offer some compelling features even without the icing of a kickstand that goes “click” and thin keyboard.
Wait wait he bitches about not being able to use the tablet to see what its all about but he prefers it over an Android tablet because there's something potentially magical about it even though he has no clue what that could be...
I've never used it but doesn't Asus Transformer already do the same thing as the windows tablet. Convert from laptop to tablet and vice versa?
by TheSpoom (715771) Uncaring Linux user here. I have nothing to add to this but please continue. *munches popcorn*
MS's problem is that like GM they got a long free ride where they didn't have to worryt about customer satisfaction.
In their case it was due to being a monopoly.
She doesn't say "merely touching an unworking product makes it hands-on review" at any point. She says that she can give a review that's "hands on" even with just a short time using the product, as long as she's clear it's just an impression and isn't an in-depth review. If you read the review, it's full of qualifiers like "At this stage Microsoft is being very cagey and no-one has had much time using Surface RT yet, but from our experience of trying it out."
Just another unfair article summary by some Slashdot basement dweller with an anti-Microsoft agenda.
Slashdot: providing anti-social weirdos a soapbox, since 1997.
That guy is trolling for attention with false and idiot statements:
- "MS said their KB is better than a true KB". FALSE. they said i's better than a *touch* KB.
- My bike has a kick stand, and it's not a key feature. DUMB. a tablet's kickstand is for when you actually use the tablet, as opposed to a bike's kickstand.
Overall, a second rate blogger having an hissy fit about being shown a pre-prod unit (was it his first time ?), and trying to blow things out of proportion with idiot arguments. Oh, and he censored my negative comment on his blog, too.
The Cloud - because you don't care if your apps and data are up in the air.
I will gladly volunteer for a review of Scarlett Johansson.
I eat only the real part of complex carbohydrates.
If anyone's want to know exactly what went down at the press conference without being fed a heavy dose of cynicism, you could always check out ArsTechnica's liveblog and post-event coverage: http://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2012/06/liveblog-from-la-microsofts-major-announcement-rumored-tablet-unveil/
Slashdot's reaction to the Surface has been a mixture of amusing and frustrating. The reaction was immediately: "Surface is complete garbage. Horrible fail. After all, Microsoft never makes anything good." A few days later after some of the announced features of Surface disseminated the reaction changed to: "Utter vaporware. Never coming out. After all, Microsoft could never make something like that. They must be lying." Never in my life have I seen a piece of unreleased hardware declared vaporware in mere days of it's announcement. Never. Microsoft must've really touched a nerve with some people.
I canâ(TM)t imagine the torture of waiting until you actually have a product to announce it. It takes all the fun out of it. I much more support people selling prototypes of half baked ideas. That is cutting edge.
One of the reasons I steer towards Apple products is just that - they are finished products. I had one of the early HTC android phones. I admire the chutzpah of HTC to actually sell such a painfully horrible contraption. My daughter helpfully donated it to a city bus...
There is alarmingly awful shit punted into the CE market; Sony, Dell, Samsung, Archos, Elgato, are all guilty of punting little more than proof-of-concept (and often proof-of-no-concept) as product. MS are no exception.
Have gnu, will travel.
People, you do know there is a real keyboard for the iPad. Right? One from Apple. A bunch from other companies. I have the Apple one. Excellent feel. Oooo... So, Microsf, what's the big deal again? Playing catch up and still can't catch Apple's tail coat? Ah...
The problem being highlighted is that journalists were(understandably, given the pressure for ad impressions; but very arguably unethically) overstating the amount of information they were actually bringing to their readers. Regurgitating press releases makes you a flack; but it isn't inherently unethical. Re-labelling press releases as 'news' and then regurgitating them is another matter entirely...
Actually, the entire thing boils down to ... many of those who call themselves "journalists" have neither the journalistic integrity nor the will power to become a real journalist
Those who tell stories should be known as "Story Teller", not journalists .
To be a true journalist is actually not easy - it's always a tight-rope act when the situation demands an independent view
It is one of the reasons why the so-called "journalism" we have today are mostly crap
Muchas Gracias, Señor Edward Snowden !
If I don't get to play with the thing until I can invoke a crash or at least a major system error, I don't consider it "hands-on". Nearly any nitwit can set up a demo where the reviewer is allowed to push a certain button and the right thing happens. Hand over the device to someone while they poke at prod at it in ways the creators never imagined.
They pulled the exact same shit. Called it a "Hands On" with Surface, and there was absolutely no hands-on demo at all. Just a short, crap article to generate more ad impressions. One of the users on the comments summed it up with what has to be the funniest animated GIF I have ever seen:
http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/2433/browserpreviewtmpc.gif
I am sure that Microsoft would never stoop that low. :-)
The actually delivered, uh, the Kin, the Zune, their software is legendary for fitting inside 640k. (Nobody needs more than that...)
MSBPodcast.com The opinions expressed here are my own. If you don't like 'em... Think up your own stuff.
The way I see it, Microsoft created a fantasy proof-of-concept rather than an actual working product. By presenting it to Hollywood types who all live in a delusional fantasy world where they think they're important, they were pretty much guaranteed a receptive audience.
Unfortunately, prostitution is illegal in most states.
An hand on review has always been about having the object yourself and using it. Any other attributed meaning is some asshole pretending to do stuff they did not.
Utter failure to live to hype can mean fastest selling together. This simply means it sold like hot cake, but people after a few bites were finding the content bland and forgettable. In fact I contend that even if Blizzard were developing Diablo 4 now, no matter the hype, a lot of people would WAIT before buying it.
C. Sagan : A demon haunted world:
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visit randi.org
Didn't "Surface" used to be a big-ass table?
When did it become a vaporware iPad?
On a more serious note, MS has a long history of pretending they have a product when it's actually just on the drawing boards. It used to make markets seize up in waiting for the MS product. I can't see how that tactic is going to help them against Apple's shipping and very popular products. It's like they're drawing their marketing tactics from the nineties. They don't have any weight in this market to cause it to seize up.
Win 8 tablets are going to have to be damned impressive for them to make any dent in this market segment at all.
bring back the BORG ICON! How much $$ crossed e-paths in order to remove the icon?
People who don't have their heads up their butts (or anyone else's butts).
It is hard for a psychopath to become a good engineer or scientist; it is a career they avoid.
It's interesting (to me at least) that the founders of RIM, faced with a product and management succession crisis, developed a new CEO internally, while Nokia faced with the same crisis brought in a manager from Microsoft. Although both companies are in serious doo-doos, RIM is still profitable and it is Nokia that has been left to develop a load of phones for Microsoft which they are then told will not be supported by the next OS. What's more, RIM owns its next-gen OS and has customers for it in other fields, while Nokia is now completely owned by Microsoft.
Unfortunately it is all too easy to confuse being a psychopath with rugged American individualism.
From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
I also get comments like this one moderated down - so it's another test post.
From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
At least this time it's mentioned before the product hits the shelves. I distinctly recall all the glorious reviews about innovative Windows Vista and how it would change our lives bla bla bla..
The reality was that it was such a dog it was the best thing that ever happened - for Apple.
Insert
I seem to remember a lot of harping about there being no product ready when Intel flagged ultrabookare. And now they are here. Whether Intel has enough savvy or a clear enough specification is another question.
Doesn't matter that Apple was first. There's money to be made by the rest of the market.
I don't specifically remember whether journos were doing hands on with the sample. I do remember a lot of the press saying ultrabooks were impossible either literally or at a reasonable price point.
But it's all happened!
It hurts some people to hear this but the reason they have so many failure is because they only hire the dregs. No one with any chops would go anywhere near the company. That leaves only the climbers and dregs to go into either engineering or management. It's been a vicious cycle going on for decades. There will be no end to it either before the company ends.
Or vagina
Beta is broken and the link to classic doesn't work. Stop wasting our time or there won't be anybody left here.
Well, all the media clips I've seen of the event remind me of this clip from Spinal Tap (the part about not touching the guitar, not the "goes to 11" moment). How are you supposed to "review" a product based on that kind of limited information?
Pissy headline: Hands-Off
Actual article: lots of hands-on time, including two attempts to do an end-run around M$ press releases by manually listing tech specs.
Maybe they just didn't want YOU holding the damn thing, eh?
The response posted by Mary is disappointing. In it, she basically defends herself by saying that she did, momentarily, get to actually type on the keyboard. But here it is also implied that this was something that was only done briefly. Worse, she basically attacks Sullivan saying for not being "persistent" enough to get at the core features that were being promoted. She then goes on to basically attempt mockery by listing highly detailed and yet completely trivial data about meaningless features like the kickstand, which Sullivan (probably rightly) glossed over as a gimmick. I think Mary missed the point here. Sullivan wasn't complaining about a lack of access to the worthless widgetry that MS was trying to promote, he was complaining about a lack of access to the parts of the system that users and readers give a fuck about.
Despite her justifications, Sullivan seems to be in the right about this not being what one normally considers "hands on". Why should -anyone- have to be "persistent" in order to demo the fucking product, if a product demo was the whole fucking reason for the show? If MS wasn't ready to let people play with the devices, they should have kept their mouths shut about it instead of hosting a press conference, and the journalists who were suckered into attending should have called MS out on that instead of pretending that they got any worthwhile experience with the product.
While Mary may have followed her site's policy on what to call "hands on", it's pretty clear that things were taken a bit too literally and not enough in spirit. MS clearly did not want to give the journalists a usability experience with the device, and usability is basically what "hands on" is for. Saying that you persisted enough to sneak in a bit of typing is not at all a hands on demo, but good for you for technically meeting your site's definition to call it that. Let's be clear that we all have access to thin, rectangular pieces of plastic and we don't need journalists to tell us how it feels in our hands. What we need to know is how good the fucking Surface is before we drop $500+ on -that- particular piece of plastic. Has any "review" given us an accurate report in that regard? If Mary's response is indicative, apparently not.
Since this is /. People claim to get hands on with a woman, but they really don't.