Slashdot Mirror
Majority of Americans Think Obama Is Better Suited To Handle an Alien Invasion
Geoffrey.landis writes "At last, a public opinion poll that gets the opinions of ordinary Americans on the issues that matter! Apparently, two thirds of Americans polled think that Barack Obama is better suited to defend against an alien invasion than Mitt Romney, according to a survey from National Geographic Channel, done to tout their upcoming TV series 'chasing UFOs'. In follow-up questioning, Americans would rather call on the Hulk (21%) than either Batman (12%) or Spiderman (8%) to save the day. No word on which candidate is most fit to defend America against shambling hordes of undead seeking to destroy civilization in the zombie apocalypse (perhaps that will be brought out in the debates)." The real question of course is how Obama would handle Galactus.
Mediator: First I ask the former Governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, how would you handle an alien invasion? ... *even longer pause* .. I would shoot at where they are going to be.
Mitt Romney: Simple, I'd shoot them.
Mediator: And to you, Mr. President, how would you handle an alien invasion?
Barack Obama: *pauses* Instead of shooting where they are
Crowd: *breaks out in rapturous applause*
Mitt Romney: Oh, come on, of course that's what I meant as well. I mean, I'd probably have the military figure all that out or pay someone in rubies or chickens or beads or whatever the hell it is you poor people are spending at Wal-Mart these days.
Crowd: *boos loudly*
Crowd Member #1: Oh, that Romney, I don't like him. I don't like him at all.
Crowd Member #2: I've never seen a Mormon kill anyone -- let alone an alien. Have you?
Crowd Member #3: I'd bet all my Wal-Mart rubies he doesn't win.
My work here is dung.
...they hope the aliens take him away!
He thought they mean illegal aliens?
This used to be one of my favorite channels. Along with "Wild" Discovery, History, Scifi, and Animal. The last one's not too bad, but NatGeo and the others have turned-into reality shows.
Yeah I know. Complain, complain. Well I can't help if all these channels start looking alike, instead of their original mission. NOW I spend most of my time watching the free broadcast channels: RetroTV, ThisTV, AntennaTV..... they are what AMC and TVland used to be. (Though it's probably only a matter of time til they jump-the-shark and start inserting reality shows.)
FREE magazine : http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/prior/
Well, sorta.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Of course Obama can handle Aliens a lot better than anybody else !
Obama himself is an Alien - that guy is from Kenya, isn't he?
We aready know Obama's response to an alien invasion - legislation to give them all retroactive amnesty and free citizenship. The Space Dream Act. You heard it here first.
(only partially joking...but I've got karma to burn)
"So after all this, you make my case for me. To end this stalemate, you must die..."
This used to be one of my favorite channels. Along with "Wild" Discovery, History, Scifi, and Animal. The last one's not too bad, but NatGeo and the others have turned-into reality shows. Yeah I know. Complain, complain
Well, let's not be too hasty now. I mean, what if they did a crossover where some of the animals from NatGeo join the casts of the other channel reality shows? I'd like to see a grizzly bear mix things up a bit on the Jersey Shore. Especially with those night vision cameras they have in the rooms. I mean, the "people" on those shows are already behaving pretty much like bonobo chimps.
My work here is dung.
Well, he *could* have made the announcement we were going to Mars *before* we invaded Iraq.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
get this IDLE crap off the front page. This is the dumbest article I've read on Slashdot all week! Here I was hoping we'd have a week devoid of worthless moronic headlines hitting the front page. This is most certainly not news that matters, to anyone.
Especially if it's other people's money.
78% believe in angels, 60% or so don't know which coast the Atlantic is on, and 56.8% think it's worth voting for a President, so no.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
ack ack ack ACK! ack ack ack... BARACK ack ack!
If we mean REAL aliens (from another planet) then that would probably be the best solution - and alien race that can get here across many light years is bound to be so much more advanced than us that they could wipe all our military out before breakfast.
The Atlantic is on the Pacific coast. Right?
lets be real, no president would be able to do anything about it.
The US is powerful when it's beating the crap out of other humans but against an extraterrestrial intelligence that spans the galaxy?
It's ok; I would probably side with you guys. A lot of us have gone native. And you really are a lot further along than you think. For example, the same technology you use for DLP televisions could be used to create rapidly oscillating microscopic mirrors to generate virtual particles. With a bit of tuning and using lasers for selection/detection, you could use them to pull up wormholes out of the quantum foam (the trick is stabilizing them with negative matter. But wormholes already have negative curvature and thus are negative matter, so you can use the rejected ones to "feed" the one you want to select).
Oops; I'm rambling. Anyway, the point is that you guys almost have Q-drive, with smaller cores than anything the rest of the galaxy can offer. That and BBQ pretty much means you guys don't have to worry about any kind of extinction attacks. When the aliens arrive, send them to Texas and for Great Maker's sake don't offer them chili with beans in it; you have no idea how offensive that is.
Yeah, like he bowed and kissed ass for Gaddafi. Seemed more like kicking ass than kissing ass. (And just so we don't get into a flamewar over this, this observation is independent of any issues regarding the legality of our intervention into Libya).
The summary doesn't make it totally clear that people would prefer the Hulk rescue them from aliens, not just rescue them in general. It's an important distinction because for the general case, you don't want to have to rely on the Hulk to save you from ANYTHING, because he'll likely destroy all of your property and probably accidentally (or purposefully!) kill you in the process.
Additionally, where's Superman, our home grown invincible alien immigrant, in all this? Has he really fallen so far in public consciousness?
Wouldn't he just shed his human-shaped carapice and welcome his brethren to Earth?
Never let a lack of data get in the way of a good rant.
since they all seem to automatically think everyone different from them is an illegal alien. Instead, they'd probably just tell them that the lawn is out back and don't forget to sweep the patio when they are done.
They're confusing Obama with Will Smith.
Yes, I just went there.
Romney would have a much better chance of saving us from the aliens. He'd simply recruit an army of Mormon missionaries to invade the aliens' landing craft and annoy them until they escape back to their home planet.
Deltron 3030 - Virus (music video)
When the only legal place to meet is a place of worship then that's where a large organised revolt comes from. That's why they get Ayatolla's instead of Attaturks.
I think it takes a special kind of naivite to think that with an annual national deficit of $1.3 trillion dollars and a national debt of $15 trillion, we are "hoarding money".
Krugman is advocating spending money we don't have, money we need to borrow and repay at significant interest rates, or money we need to remove from the economy through taxation. Either is a bad idea.
Obama went into the last election creating the image of being a pacifist and a defender of civil rights. In practice, he has turned out to be neither.
I think you've been spending too much time on LDS.org.
Or LSD.org.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Krugman is making a very salient point: The cost of borrowing money is cheaper now than it ever has been or likely will ever be again. If we don't borrow it now, when?
Borrow money now to fix the economy and infrastructure, and when we're back on our feet then we pay it back. You don't repay debts when you're broke and out of a job; you first get an income and a stable roof over your head, then you worry about paying your debtors. It's a pretty simple concept.
Genocide Man -- Life is funny. Death is funnier. Mass murder can be hilarious.