Slashdot Mirror
Majority of Americans Think Obama Is Better Suited To Handle an Alien Invasion
Geoffrey.landis writes "At last, a public opinion poll that gets the opinions of ordinary Americans on the issues that matter! Apparently, two thirds of Americans polled think that Barack Obama is better suited to defend against an alien invasion than Mitt Romney, according to a survey from National Geographic Channel, done to tout their upcoming TV series 'chasing UFOs'. In follow-up questioning, Americans would rather call on the Hulk (21%) than either Batman (12%) or Spiderman (8%) to save the day. No word on which candidate is most fit to defend America against shambling hordes of undead seeking to destroy civilization in the zombie apocalypse (perhaps that will be brought out in the debates)." The real question of course is how Obama would handle Galactus.
Mediator: First I ask the former Governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, how would you handle an alien invasion? ... *even longer pause* .. I would shoot at where they are going to be.
Mitt Romney: Simple, I'd shoot them.
Mediator: And to you, Mr. President, how would you handle an alien invasion?
Barack Obama: *pauses* Instead of shooting where they are
Crowd: *breaks out in rapturous applause*
Mitt Romney: Oh, come on, of course that's what I meant as well. I mean, I'd probably have the military figure all that out or pay someone in rubies or chickens or beads or whatever the hell it is you poor people are spending at Wal-Mart these days.
Crowd: *boos loudly*
Crowd Member #1: Oh, that Romney, I don't like him. I don't like him at all.
Crowd Member #2: I've never seen a Mormon kill anyone -- let alone an alien. Have you?
Crowd Member #3: I'd bet all my Wal-Mart rubies he doesn't win.
My work here is dung.
...they hope the aliens take him away!
He thought they mean illegal aliens?
This used to be one of my favorite channels. Along with "Wild" Discovery, History, Scifi, and Animal. The last one's not too bad, but NatGeo and the others have turned-into reality shows.
Yeah I know. Complain, complain. Well I can't help if all these channels start looking alike, instead of their original mission. NOW I spend most of my time watching the free broadcast channels: RetroTV, ThisTV, AntennaTV..... they are what AMC and TVland used to be. (Though it's probably only a matter of time til they jump-the-shark and start inserting reality shows.)
FREE magazine : http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/prior/
Well, sorta.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Of course Obama can handle Aliens a lot better than anybody else !
Obama himself is an Alien - that guy is from Kenya, isn't he?
We aready know Obama's response to an alien invasion - legislation to give them all retroactive amnesty and free citizenship. The Space Dream Act. You heard it here first.
(only partially joking...but I've got karma to burn)
"So after all this, you make my case for me. To end this stalemate, you must die..."
This used to be one of my favorite channels. Along with "Wild" Discovery, History, Scifi, and Animal. The last one's not too bad, but NatGeo and the others have turned-into reality shows. Yeah I know. Complain, complain
Well, let's not be too hasty now. I mean, what if they did a crossover where some of the animals from NatGeo join the casts of the other channel reality shows? I'd like to see a grizzly bear mix things up a bit on the Jersey Shore. Especially with those night vision cameras they have in the rooms. I mean, the "people" on those shows are already behaving pretty much like bonobo chimps.
My work here is dung.
"You think you're the only politician in the world? Mr. Obama, you've become part of a bigger universe."
I'd totally watch that movie/reality.
And in regards to the "invasion" part, he'd of course just change the law so that neither police nor military were allowed to intervene against the "illegal aliens"... Problem solved! (or not...)
It would be better to at least try to be ready for an alien invasion. Enough alien invasion fear might be enough to actually get some governments working together.
Or else get ready for the next Near Earth Asteroid.
> The real question of course is how Obama would handle Galactus.
He'd come to the table with "You can only eat half the planet." And manage to walk away with Galactus agreeing to spare 10%.
Adult Role Playing Forum
Well, he *could* have made the announcement we were going to Mars *before* we invaded Iraq.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
get this IDLE crap off the front page. This is the dumbest article I've read on Slashdot all week! Here I was hoping we'd have a week devoid of worthless moronic headlines hitting the front page. This is most certainly not news that matters, to anyone.
Especially if it's other people's money.
78% believe in angels, 60% or so don't know which coast the Atlantic is on, and 56.8% think it's worth voting for a President, so no.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
ack ack ack ACK! ack ack ack... BARACK ack ack!
Yes, which is the whole point. Zombies just aren't any good at fighting space aliens - it's just way too easy for the space aliens to get hold of a witch doctor or shaman and seize control.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
It's like the only qualification a president needs to handle a crisis like that. Incidentally, I was raised by hollywood.
They'll probably get Palin to come on VanSusteran's show to take up for Romney. "Pallin' around with space aliens."
Of course Hillary is an alien - all those hours he's spent working with her is finally paying off!!!
"Murderer? Well, that's a harsh word. I prefer to think of myself as a Mortality Technician."
I mean, the ones from Mars only need a recording of Tom Jones to defeat them, but you need three juvenile delinquents to defeat The Tripods. Everyone knows that.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
Thanks for clearing this up!
Have you fscked your local propeller head today?
lets be real, no president would be able to do anything about it.
The US is powerful when it's beating the crap out of other humans but against an extraterrestrial intelligence that spans the galaxy?
That's a code brown situation.
I've decided to stop wasting my time responding to AC trolls/sockpuppets... so if you want a response from me... login.
I'm pretty sure Obama would grant Galactus work visa and a Social Security number, and defend his right to eat the Earth under the Americans with Disabilities Act.
resolving our illegal alien problem.
If we mean REAL aliens (from another planet) then that would probably be the best solution - and alien race that can get here across many light years is bound to be so much more advanced than us that they could wipe all our military out before breakfast.
Of course Americans wouldn't trust Romney to deal with an alien invasion. He's probably one of them.
No word on which candidate is most fit to defend America against shambling hordes of undead seeking to destroy civilization in the zombie apocalypse (perhaps that will be brought out in the debates).
Obviously, Obama would be best against the Zombies. Romney would be best against the Vampires. Or maybe it's the other way around.
I'd say he's better suited to handle a bowl of Mac & Cheese
Whereas you've proven yourself to be barely capable of posting a coherent thought on an internet message board. Truly your assessment of other people's ability must be something special.
After all he is an "alien" resident, having been born in Kenya and all that ;-)
Why did they waste precious resources conducting this survey? Most Democrats think Mitt Romney himself to be a humanoid android sent from the Gamma quadrant in sector six by the richest 0.001% of the universe to alter the history. So he is them, he is no good protecting us from them.
sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
The Atlantic is on the Pacific coast. Right?
obama is an alien, (from another planet)
Politics is Treachery, Religion is Brainwashing
Of course, the truth is that of the population willing to respond to a survey about Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, the Hulk, Spiderman, and alien invasions, probably two-thirds secretly hope Bruce Banner gets elected by write-in vote.
In fact, from what I see around, that is the main argument against him.
Rethinking email
Yeah, like he bowed and kissed ass for Gaddafi. Seemed more like kicking ass than kissing ass. (And just so we don't get into a flamewar over this, this observation is independent of any issues regarding the legality of our intervention into Libya).
The summary doesn't make it totally clear that people would prefer the Hulk rescue them from aliens, not just rescue them in general. It's an important distinction because for the general case, you don't want to have to rely on the Hulk to save you from ANYTHING, because he'll likely destroy all of your property and probably accidentally (or purposefully!) kill you in the process.
Additionally, where's Superman, our home grown invincible alien immigrant, in all this? Has he really fallen so far in public consciousness?
Wouldn't he just shed his human-shaped carapice and welcome his brethren to Earth?
Never let a lack of data get in the way of a good rant.
Oh, I think we have bigger things to worry about... 37% of Americans can't find AMERICA on the map.
I really have to wonder though... Mormons believe each person gets their own planet when they die*, and even God has one (Kolob). Romney would probably say "Grandad, is that you?" before being shot in the face with a blaster.
* - "Then will they become Gods...they will never cease to increase and to multiply, worlds without end. When they receive their crowns, their dominions, they then will be prepared to frame earths like unto ours and to people them in the same manner as we have been brought forth by our parents, by our Father and God” Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses 17:143
This article is viral marketing ploy for the new Spider-man movie. They are not going to mention the compitition.
since they all seem to automatically think everyone different from them is an illegal alien. Instead, they'd probably just tell them that the lawn is out back and don't forget to sweep the patio when they are done.
They're confusing Obama with Will Smith.
Yes, I just went there.
Who's Libya?
There are "Libyans".. A lot of them..
So who did he helped?
-- Counting backwards since 1984!
> you bet your ass they'd want Romney.
Oh Hell no. If they are hostile I'd want Capain James Kirk or Captain John "Nuke em all" Sheridan. But since they aren't actually available, and neither is Zombie Reagan, the next best option would be Darth Cheney.
Democrat delenda est
*Rebuke Undead*
No sig for the moment.
Don't be too hard on him. My assessment skills concerning abilities is clearly off as well.
Prior to reading your post, I would have sworn that someone addicted to smoking bath salts could never become lucid enough to post a legible sentence on Slashdot, yet here you are...
Strat
Progressivism (aka US 'Liberalism'): Ideas so good they need a police/surveillance-state to enforce.
Title says it all.
Yes. It's my premise that I can't tell the difference between Mormons and Scientologists. Thank you for ruining the joke!
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
Mitt also supported and or passed laws in Massachusetts which banned (or made harder and more expensive to own) the most useful weapons to be used in the coming zombie apocalypse.
He'll gladly let you have your single shot .22 and break-action shotgun, however we all know from the various documentary films that a even a zombified kindergartner will easily shrug off a .22, and the trap gun is only useful if you catch a zombie on the rise, otherwise you'll shoot right over the zombie's heads, and besides, they're absolutely way too long for use in tight spaces, and to slow to deal with zombie mobs effectively. Coincidence? I think not!
Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
I'd say he's better suited to handle a bowl of Mac & Cheese and that's as far as I'd go with his qualifications and skill set. lol
That depends.
Not if it's made from Wisconsin cheese. He seems to have problems handling things associated with and/or occurring in Wisconsin lately.
Strat
Progressivism (aka US 'Liberalism'): Ideas so good they need a police/surveillance-state to enforce.
Earth. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Surely Romney would be better suited for alien contact, since he already prays to God and Jesus, who are in fact aliens from Kolob as this informative video demonstrates.
He will just issue them all work permits, as long as they entered the country when they were in their late teens.
I'm pro Obama, but I'm sorry, both candidates are equally unqualified as it's a complete lost cause. We cannot beat a civilization capable of invading us.
"Who is the Journal of Quantum Physics going to believe?" --Stephen Hawking
Mormons don't believe in Aliens (the ET kind)
I did ask a couple of their missionaries once.
Of course fundie Christians who believe in a 4004bc or so date for creation wouldn't believe in aliens either.
The real question of course is how Obama would handle Galactus.
He would decree that this evil can only be defeated with mandatory universal health care. It only works if everyone is part of it. Then as the vortex of doom settles over each major city and the Supreme Court strikes his mandate down he'll say, "fine! It only works if most of us are part of it." Then as people are being sucked up into the sky, he'll scream, "I inherited this, you know!"
The Subject says all I have to say.
I'm sure this is the mainstream media preparing the American public, as ordered by their owners (the banks, weapons industry etc.), for a new spending spree of tax money. This time it isn't terrorism (who still believes in that story?) but 'alien invasion'. Be prepared, develop more space weapons, give more money to the industrial mologs and pay more taxes.
That's what's going on!
"Trump!!", the new Godwin.
While I do think that punching an alien invader in the face is a great way to let them know they are not welcome, I can't help feeling that the rest of your post is, to put it politely, a complete crock of shit.
Gaddafi, Mubarak, Ben Ali and Assad were all pretty much yesterdays men by the time Obama decided he would jump ship to the other side. just like Saddam was best of buddies until he wasn't. The same will apply to the Saudi royal house when the winds of change reach them, regardless of who is in power. That is just sensible politics.
I expect Obama to do no less than help us live long and prosper. Though his pacifism probably means we'll all get it in the ass from our alien overlords. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/10/opinion/10dowd.html
Stay skeptical, my friends.
Reading this, I almost thought I am at The Onion.
...okay...
(QD backs away slowly from the rest of humanity)
Romney would have a much better chance of saving us from the aliens. He'd simply recruit an army of Mormon missionaries to invade the aliens' landing craft and annoy them until they escape back to their home planet.
Deltron 3030 - Virus (music video)
When the h#@* did an imaginary alien invasion become a talking point in the debates?!?!
We're far more likely to be invaded by African Pygmies than Extraterrestrials.
For that matter, despite what Hollywood shows in it's movies, we'd be toast. It would be like a 2 cavemen in a dugout canoe trying to fight the WW2 Allied D-Day Invasion force backed up with 3 nuclear aircraft carriers.
pic
link
No Earth Slime has destroyed Mukor...
Obama is Protestant of some flavor. Romney is a Mormon. Which religion inspired a movie and TV series about a "rag-tag fugitive fleet" of humans fighting killer robots in outer space? I rest my case.
"The Greens lynched a hacker in Chicago. Last month, but I think the body's still hanging from the old Water Tower."
When the only legal place to meet is a place of worship then that's where a large organised revolt comes from. That's why they get Ayatolla's instead of Attaturks.
I think it takes a special kind of naivite to think that with an annual national deficit of $1.3 trillion dollars and a national debt of $15 trillion, we are "hoarding money".
Krugman is advocating spending money we don't have, money we need to borrow and repay at significant interest rates, or money we need to remove from the economy through taxation. Either is a bad idea.
Until recently it was most definitely an ally taking part in combined actions - remember the "extreme reditions" to Syria and the Syrian miltary action 3 or 4 years back to protect the US embassy? There may not be as much involvement as there is with the US troops in Algeria (now that place is an even worse basket case), but the US intelligence community if not the military has been working directly with their counterparts in Syria as allies in the very recent past.
It's a very unpleasant association to remember which definitely erodes the moral standing of the US government, but we shouldn't pretend it never happened, especially since IMHO that influences the current US action of not intervening. There's also the problem of pissing off the Israel lobby by taking one side or another in a nation that extremists in that lobby would like to see turned entirely into radioactive glass. Helping anybody at all in Syria becomes a bad political move for people who care about their jobs more than fixing problems. Washington careers will end no matter what action is taken on Syria so advisors call for no action, whether that's the best option r not.
Most of Pakistan isn't even a nation by any definition (even that of the American Indian nations before the US existed, although if you consider them all together that's close) and was really just an access agreement with the British in the 19th century with the agreement to not bother all the warlords that just ran things at a local level - and that's pretty well how it still stands. We can't really call Pakistan a "frenemy" or consider it as a single entity because while we can deal with their government they really have little or no control over most of the area we call Pakistan. Maybe we should point those tribal areas out to libertarians to show them what their dream looks like.
He's in politics. They only do that Religeon thing when the voters are watching.
and the hulk doesn't even have a sonic screw driver
Yeah, but the Hulk has attitude.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
My original post was a joking reference to his not entirely serious remarks about the economic stimulus to be gained from gearing up for an alien invasion (which would be the justification for the government lying and saying a real one was coming).
But now that we seem to have diverted from humor, what, in percentages, are those significant interest rates at which you think we'd be borrowing?
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Russia under Putin is clearly a threat, we appease them. Remember Georgia? I do.
No you don't. You remember the half-truths that were force fed to Americans via a complacent media.
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
Yes, they heard his "with us or against us" speech and decided "against" would be fun.
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
The Atlantic is on the Pacific coast. Right?
Eventually.
If you believe the parent post is Flamebait (-1), you should read some Mormon literature and rethink your premise.
There are plenty of Mormon meanderings available on Demonoid.
At last, a public opinion poll that gets the opinions of ordinary Americans on the issues that matter!
But who could possibly defend us from such morons?
That's an immediate concern far greater than for alien/zombie/vampire/deity invasions.
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire
I mis-parsed the heading and asked myself "better at an alien invasion than what?" The economy, an aging population, terrorism?
Owl tried to think of something wise to say, but couldn't.
When I read that the National Geographic had lost all respectability by asking people this question and whether "The Hulk" or "Batman" would be the best solution. A sad day indeed.
Because after a certain amount of it, there's no value to money as far as spending it goes.
It becomes a measure of power and leverage.
So "power and leverage" has no value?
Krugman is making a very salient point: The cost of borrowing money is cheaper now than it ever has been or likely will ever be again. If we don't borrow it now, when?
Borrow money now to fix the economy and infrastructure, and when we're back on our feet then we pay it back. You don't repay debts when you're broke and out of a job; you first get an income and a stable roof over your head, then you worry about paying your debtors. It's a pretty simple concept.
Genocide Man -- Life is funny. Death is funnier. Mass murder can be hilarious.
...takes an alien to fight an alien?
Any guest worker system is indistinguishable from indentured servitude.
I suppose the will of the people don't really matter when those people aren't Americans ?
Are you actually advocating that when foreign people want to get rid of dictators America should provide military aid to the dictators and prevent the civilians from gaining the civil liberties they are fighting for if the dictators have been good enough at kissing White-house pucker-holes ?
Unicode killed the ASCII-art *
...we need to borrow and repay at insignificant interest rates...
FTFY. Long term bond interest rates are near record lows. It would be foolish not to borrow. If we borrow now and invest wisely so that the economy grows by at least 2%, we break even.
Or we can keep cutting. That worked really well for Spain & Ireland.
-
When you hoard money you generally save it instead of building a Scrooge McDuck-type swimming pool. Those investments are used for loans, etc. A low savings rate is one of the main things to get us into this mess.
Except for ending slavery, the Nazis, communism, & securing American independence, war has never solved anything.
Wrong.
But hay, his had a blog for over a decade, he's been right about pretty much every economic prediction, but lets not actually listen to him.
Maybe you should understand macro economics before opening your yap? at least then you might be able to form a semi-cogent argument.
Hint: running a large organization isn't the same as balancing your check book. If you can't not at least grasp that, then you really need to stay out of economic discussions.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
He has taken very few vacation days compared to other presidents.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Obama == Deep impact.
Romney == Mars attacks
Science education? Very useful for creating the zombie apocalypse. Also very tasty BRAAAINS!
Rational thinking? You're trying to bring this into story about which president would best deal with an alien invasion, and into a thread about Romney, Mormons and the zombie apocalypse, and Mormons being zombies, and Mitt Romney being in collusion with the zombie hive mind, what with the passing of laws which would enable the zombie invasion of Massachusetts. How stupid of you. You probably also debunk your friend's jokes because they violate special relativity, which is what makes them funny, and that makes you an unlikable loner without any friends.
Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
I wholeheartedly agree with you. Except..... when we get to the part about "paying it back", everyone seems to leave the room. And then asks for more when the economy craps out again.
And as we all know, those Republicans would never consider spending other people's money on anything.
About 3%, possibly more.
Except that we haven't ever paid back a significant fraction of our national debt in 70 years. So, if we borrow money now, we have to expect to be paying interest on it for a long time. We can really only grow out of it or inflate it away, but the first isn't likely to happen any time soon, and the second has lots of other problems.
And the only rational reason to borrow money is if your expected return exceeds the cost of borrowing. That's never been shown to happen for government programs. Spending billions on unneeded roads, uncompetitive industries, or ineffcient public transportation is not going to produce positive returns, and a lot of stimulus projects will end up exactly like that because money will get distributed based on political considerations, not utility.
No, we don't break even, because we'll still be saddled with the debt. Future borrowing will be more expensive, and the debt will keep ratcheting up when we hit another recession (as we will).
Austerity isn't a choice for Spain, Greece, or Ireland, these nations simply cannot borrow at reasonable rates anymore. The only choice these nations have is between bankruptcy or austerity. Ireland chose austerity, and that does seem to be "working well" relative to the alternative.
The US is in a better position: it can still borrow money at good rates. But if we keep borrowing, sooner or later, we are going to face the same choice as these other nations. That's why we should stop borrowing now and enact modest austerity measures before the financial markets force us to adopt draconian austerity measures.
Kenya's a planet?
stay on topic.
-- This space for lease, low setup fee, inquire within!