Modest Proposal For Stopping Hackers: Get Them Girlfriends

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Modest Proposal For Stopping Hackers: Get Them Girlfriends

Posted by timothy on Tuesday July 17, 2012 @05:13AM from the so-basically-you're-saying-a-lobotomy dept.

kierny writes "Hackers/crackers who get arrested are typically male and young adults — if not minors. Why is that? According to research by online psychology expert Grainne Kirwan, it's because the typical hacker 'ages out' once they get a girlfriend, job, kids, and other responsibilities that make it difficult to maintain their hacking/cracking/hacktivist lifecycle. Could that finding offer a way to help keep more young hacking enthusiasts out of jail?"

31 of 566 comments (clear)

Min score:

Reason:

Sort:

Wow by Anonymous Coward · 2012-07-17 05:15 · Score: 5, Insightful

This is as retarded as the last story. Timothy must be taking his stupid pills today.
1. Re:Wow by NerdmastaX · 2012-07-17 05:16 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  agreed.. if this continues i might as well go back to cnn.
2. Re:Wow by Jobless+Fellatio · 2012-07-17 05:19 · Score: 5, Insightful
  
  The story is completely true, tho.. Happened to me and many of my friends. Exactly as late teens, and then we got girlfriends.
3. Re:Wow by MightyMartian · 2012-07-17 05:28 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  It seems to be a very slow news day. Isn't that when someone posts an inflammatory article about Obamacare, AGW or evolution?
  Why doesn't Timothy go all the way and merge this with the next inevitable Raspberry Pi article?
  
  --
  The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
4. Re:Wow by Anonymous Coward · 2012-07-17 05:31 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  So you went back to your mom?
5. Re:Wow by Reverand+Dave · 2012-07-17 05:33 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  No, he went back to your mom.
  
  --
  I got here through a series of tubes
6. Re:Wow by X0563511 · 2012-07-17 06:06 · Score: 5, Interesting
  
  So, here's the question:
  Did your girlfriend stop you hacking, or did something else stop your hacking and the increased social interaction landed you the girlfriend?
  
  --
  For large sets, this will be our guide even unto death, for the LORD will work for each type of data it is applied to...
7. Re:Wow by Slashdot+Parent · 2012-07-17 08:33 · Score: 4, Interesting
  
  Did your girlfriend stop you hacking, or did something else stop your hacking and the increased social interaction landed you the girlfriend?
  In my case, she didn't do anything specific to stop my hacking, beyond existing. We have only a finite amount of time. Given the choice between hacking (it was called "cracking" back then, but whatever) or fucking a hot girl, I chose fucking.
  But isn't it just that way with us? The little head always overriding the big one?
  
  --
  They don't grade fathers, but if your daughter's a stripper, you fucked up. --Chris Rock
The Girlfriend(tm) by happy_place · 2012-07-17 05:15 · Score: 4, Funny

The Girlfriend(tm) could solve a lot of problems young adolescent males have... someone should patent that...

--
http://www.beanleafpress.com
1. Re:The Girlfriend(tm) by poity · 2012-07-17 05:34 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  or..could you be attracting maladjusted people as friends?
  
  --
  your thin skin doesn't make me a troll
2. Re:The Girlfriend(tm) by poity · 2012-07-17 05:41 · Score: 4
  
  you know what, that was needlessly rude of me. I take it back, sorry man. (I've been on /. too long)
  
  --
  your thin skin doesn't make me a troll
3. Re:The Girlfriend(tm) by Anarchduke · 2012-07-17 05:56 · Score: 5, Interesting
  
  Being married is not an experience that is easy to convey. I am happily married even though there are times my wife drives me crazy. Marriage takes effort, its a kind of job. Its worthwhile, but it takes work to make a marriage work.
  And you are right, marriage - and especially children - creates a lot of problems to deal with. So I can see how this would stop hacking. On the other hand, good luck with that. You are suggesting going up to a girl and saying, "Hey, you're pretty cute. How would you like to date an anti-social computer geek that has learned to relate to women through 4chan?"
  
  --
  who prays for Satan? Who in 18 centuries has had the humanity to pray for the 1 sinner that needed it most? ~Mark Twain
4. Re:The Girlfriend(tm) by geekoid · 2012-07-17 06:02 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  I've been married to my wife for 22 years. I am very happy.
  I suggest living with someone for a year, then if you get married don't have kids for about 7 years.
  Any time during that period you find your self excessively complaining about your spouse,I recommend that you calmly end the relationship. You aren't happy, and you aren't doing anyone any favors by being miserable.
  I hate the stupid pop culture idea that marriage is supposed to be misery and pain. IT's a crock. I blame dumb ass shows like "Everyone loves Raymond", "Home improvement", etc...
  Why do any of those men stay with the horribly screeching wives?
  And why do those women stay with horribly insensitive, and often abusive, men?
  
  --
  The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
5. Re:The Girlfriend(tm) by geekoid · 2012-07-17 06:07 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  Are they stupid thing as in funny anecdotes, or stupid things as in making people angry?
  I do the occasional stupid thing, and I'm sure my wife tells people about them. But no different then my friends telling the stores of the time my BBQ burst into flames.
  I know a lot of happily married men. The trick? marry someone you can do thing with without becoming annoyed.
  Of course, there are people who aren't happy, but they need to get out of the relationship. Unless kids are involved. The they need to suck it up* and create a happy and stable home life.
  * Meaning general annoyances. Clearly if abuse is going on, they need to get themselves and their kids out of that situation.
  
  --
  The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
6. Re:The Girlfriend(tm) by wmbetts · 2012-07-17 06:35 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  If you're constantly tiptoeing around then you're with the wrong person. I've been married for many years and am quite happy. Am I happy 100% of the time? No, but that's unreasonable to expect. I would say I'm happy 90% of the time though and I do no tiptoeing. My wife and I enjoy playing the same video games (WoW, galaga, mario bros, etc), eating mostly the same food, and find the same type of humor funny. We have a few different interests as well (she likes playing music and I enjoy programming for example) and when we want to do something the other doesn't we go do what we want. When we have an issue with each other we address it and move on. I think a big problem with a lot of couples is lack of communication and being honest about their feelings with each other. If more couples would actually address their issues like adults instead of keeping them inside more relationships would work out. If you can't openly talk to your partner about how you feel then the relationship was doomed from the start.
  
  --
  "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me". - stolen from Dan C alt.os.linux.slackware
7. Re:The Girlfriend(tm) by jeko · 2012-07-17 06:48 · Score: 4, Interesting
  
  I read one of those "human interest" interviews once with some 100-year-old couple that had been married for about a millenium. They asked the couple if they had ever considered divorce.
  The couple replied "Divorce? Never! Murder, sure, but never divorce." :-)
  
  --
  He put his boots up on the table and made a face. "The sig," he smirked. "You can waste your life in search of the sig."
8. Re:The Girlfriend(tm) by __aaeihw9960 · 2012-07-17 07:10 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  The problem is that most people who are happily married aren't very vocal about it. BUT, those that aren't happy, or are divorced, are VERY vocal.
  For example: I have been happily married for 5 years now, and we dated for 5 before that step. I get my wife flowers every week, because she puts up with me peeing on the toilet seat, breaking things to see how they work, and generally bitching when I've had a bad day.
  No one knows. Well, I've only told you folks about it - my family knows, but that's because they come over to my house.
  My supervisor has been divorced for nine years, and complains every day. Let me repeat - N...I...N...E......Y...E...A...R...S... and still complains every day. Who is the better model? Me. Who do people know more about? Her.
  It's simple logic - more exposure = more proof, right?
9. Re:The Girlfriend(tm) by MobileTatsu-NJG · 2012-07-17 08:19 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  They ALL tell me tales about the "stupid thing" their husbands or wives did last weekend or last month. They claim to be happily married, but certainly don't sound it.
  Think for a moment about what type of story is more interesting to tell.
  
  --
  
  "I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)
10. Re:The Girlfriend(tm) by godel_56 · 2012-07-17 08:20 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  I suggest living with someone for a year, then if you get married don't have kids for about 7 years.
  By which time she's infertile.
Agreed by slazzy · 2012-07-17 05:15 · Score: 5, Funny

Probably the most effective idea yet. A girlfriend is a lot more fun than a computer, at that age anyway.

--
Website Just Down For Me? Find out
1. Re:Agreed by Hatta · 2012-07-17 05:27 · Score: 5, Interesting
  
  Taking care of peoples basic needs would stop a lot of bad behavior. Prostitution is negatively correlated with rape. Heroin maintenance programs reduce the damage caused by drug seeking addicts. A guaranteed basic income can dramatically reduce the problems associated with poverty.
  Too bad our society cares more about appearing "tough on crime" than effective solutions to our problems.
  
  --
  Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
2. Re:Agreed by sycodon · 2012-07-17 05:33 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  For a teenager, a couple of minutes is stretching it a bit.
  
  --
  When Fascism comes to America, it will call itself Anti-Fascism, and tell you to give up your guns.
3. Re:Agreed by shutdown+-p+now · 2012-07-17 06:27 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  A girlfriend is a lot more fun than a computer, at that age anyway.
  Not really. You can only hack a girlfriend once, and even then there are some associated difficulties (as Hans Reiser has found out).
4. Re:Agreed by billcopc · 2012-07-17 06:43 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  You're right about needs, but money is not a need, because it's an abstract concept. Quality of living is a need. The concept of poverty, in a developed world, is a very contrived and nonsensical artifact of capitalism. We have enough resources to feed, house, clothe and entertain the whole world several times over, yet our societal systems create false scarcity as the hypothetical carrot-on-a-stick to keep people enslaved and working.
  It doesn't matter how much money is being thrown around, or how big the numbers grow, if someone isn't pulling their weight, they will cause a shortage somewhere else. The illusion of money only takes our eyes off the real issue of distributing resources. After all, why associate with millions of other people if we only seek to break them down and take what's theirs ? Building, not pillaging, should be the goal of any society. Wealth means nothing if you spend every waking moment in misery and frustration.
  
  --
  -Billco, Fnarg.com
Re:Same with terrorists... by SJHillman · 2012-07-17 05:23 · Score: 4, Funny

Of course they were married. Why do you think they volunteered?
Or legalize prostitution by Quiet_Desperation · 2012-07-17 05:24 · Score: 4, Funny

That's my takeaway from this.
Then again that's my takeaway from most discussions.
Outdated information by hessian · 2012-07-17 05:30 · Score: 4, Insightful

Back in the early days, hackers were young hobbyists.
The people who are most dangerous now are simply criminals who've learned to operate computers.
Teenage and young adult hacking is part of the learning process and should be encouraged as part of the growth process. Most of those people will go on to futures in computer science.
The criminals will not.

--
Futurist Traditionalism
Re:obligatory reference by Anonymous Coward · 2012-07-17 06:48 · Score: 5, Funny

Dear Sony;

You have put out almost nothing but shitty, proprietary crap for over a decade now. Your music CDs install rootkits on computers. You remove advertised features from the PS3. You sue people who have committed no crime just to shut them up. In response, you've been under relentless assault from hackers.

This will continue until you change your ways, or you get us girlfriends. Either way, we're cool.

-Anonymous
Re:HEY! Not cool. by spiffmastercow · 2012-07-17 06:50 · Score: 4, Insightful

Economic understanding fail. A $50k minimum wage will just end up with $50k having the same buying power that $8 an hour has today. Currency only has value determined by scarcity and trust, even if you outlaw the rich earning more than $70k, you will still devalue the currency and luxuries will be exchanged directly instead of with the state currency as a pathway.
No, you fail to understand. The US GDP is ~$15 trillion, and there are ~100m working adults. That's $150k each. If you set the minimum wage to $50k, the wealthier people will still make 4-5 times as much as the poor, rather than the 100x to 1000x more that they make now. Now, you could argue that there would be a productivity drop, and you'd probably be right, but my point here isn't about exact figures, but rather that we live in a society that, if equitable, could provide a pretty good standard of living to all, rather than a shitty standard of living for most and a ridiculous standard for a select lucky few.
Re:obligatory reference by Taco+Cowboy · 2012-07-17 11:39 · Score: 4, Insightful

After what you describe Sony as:

put out almost nothing but shitty, proprietary crap for over a decade

music CDs install rootkits on computers

sue people who have committed no crime just to shut them up
You still trust the quality of girlfriend(s) that Sony might get for you?

--
Muchas Gracias, Señor Edward Snowden !
Re:obligatory reference by Evil+Pete · 2012-07-17 12:14 · Score: 4, Funny

You still trust the quality of girlfriend(s) that Sony might get for you?
You'll be hoping for a root kit but you'll just get viruses.

--
Bitter and proud of it.