Ask Slashdot: Preempting Sexual Harassment In the Workplace?

zwei2stein writes "My team of about 10 men (IT guys) is expecting a new colleague: a female one. It is guaranteed that there will be remarks, double entendres and innuendos with huge potential of getting worse. We already have women in teams who can somehow handle this (and deliver apropriate verbal slaps). How would you deal with this? We talked about some simple, fun ways — anyone who [acts inappropriately] will have to wear an embarassing tie, etc. — instead of swear jar, having a sexual innuendo jar and even fairly harsh punishments (like people losing their bonuses for the month or their extra vaccation days). I'd like to figure out a solution that would be effective, not call much attention to itself, and not be quickly abandoned." What has your workplace done to create a good culture on this front? And what hasn't worked?

Comments

laws

[Anonymous Coward]

You need to understand the laws around sexual harassment, which you clearly do not.

Re:laws

[crawling_chaos]

Indeed. Simply put anything other than formal discipline leaves you open to huge legal penalties. For more details see a lawyer, because navigating harassment law without one is like asking the night janitor to fix bugs in your code.

Re:laws

[History's Coming To]

Yup. Making a "joke" of sexual harassment is a great way to lose a lawsuit. Just imagine the prosecuting lawyer: "So, rather than a sexual harassment policy you made people wear a silly tie?"

Re:laws

[hackula]

That is why you pull your team aside before anything happens and remind them "if you harass another employee then you will be fired". Someone who hears that and does it anyway deserves the boot. This has nothing to do with being harsh or being PC; it is about having a respectful work environment and not getting sued.

Just because the law says something is or is not appropriate/right/etc doesn't mean that's the case everywhere.

Tell that to the judge who is asking you to liquidate all of your company's assets to pay for the harassment penalties.

Re:laws

[tverbeek]

The way this question is posed sounds like someone off to a really bad start. Making "simple, fun" games out of what should be Standards of Conduct for a work environment is just asking for trouble. Would you put up a jar for someone to pay into every time they tell a nigger joke? Or a lighthearted way of dealing with people stealing equipment? It sounds like the current environment is the sociological equivalent of a bunch of guys who never had to grow up and move out of their parents' basement. Well... it's time. Grown-ups don't have any trouble figuring out what's socially-acceptable behavior and acting accordingly. Tell your staff it's time for them to be grown-ups. It doesn't mean you can't still have a fun environment... I'm guessing it's probably still fun without racist comments (trust me: some of your staff probably think them without saying them). Bring someone in for a "awareness" program, and the boss should set the tone indicating that he takes it seriously. Anyone who doesn't... needs to get to work on their resume, and also practicing "would you like fries with that" because acting like a grown-up who refrains from sexual innuendo at the work place is a pretty standard job requirement.

Re:laws

[Seumas]

It's 2012. This isn't some arcane art. You have new-hires sign a sexual harassment policy and you have all employees consume a sexual harassment policy training session every year or so (an online recorded session does just fine). This way, everyone is aware of the legal obligations, the company policy, and the responses they can expect if they violate policy. Then, you have an HR department that handles complaints and reports and acts accordingly as per law and company policy, including termination if deemed necessary.

I really can't imagine where these people are working that this is even an issue. I'm a professional in the tech industry and I can't imagine anyone I've worked with having any sort of inappropriate interactions with female colleagues (nor have I ever encountered this happening in almost two decades in the industry). Aren't we at least two or three decades past the transitional "women coming into the workplace" period? Aren't practically all the guys that would be old enough for this to even remotely be a problem for already retired?

Re:laws

[runeghost]

Because, like it or not, there are going to be more women in the IT workplace in the future, not less. Our society is becoming more integrated, which is a good thing! Step back for a minute, look at what you just said, only replace 'female' with 'black' or 'irish' or 'peasant' and 'male' with 'white' or 'British' or 'noble'.

"Why should the group have to change for one new incommer?" Because it's the right thing to do, even if it's inconvenient and doesn't go smoothly.

Re:laws

[icebike]

The night janitor has a better chance of fixing your code than a lawyer has of improving your workplace environment.

There are a lot of causal expressions that are in common usage which if followed to their roots, will be found to have a sexual connotation. And there are just enough female workers looking for any excuse to file a complaint.

In a place I worked, a part failed in a production machine, and the replacement was two states and three days away. The deadline was the next day. The supervisor muttered "We're screwed!" and the woman handling shipping orders filed a complaint.

This kind of thing happens all the time. All. The. Time. The bigger the company and the more aggressive the EEO department, the more it happens.

And by your prescription, there has to be a hearing, lawyers have to be involved, outside mediators, people reprimanded, the whole nine yards.
There has to be a better way.

Re:laws

[K. S. Kyosuke]

Imagine if this was physical abuse.

Why not imagine that it were eco-terrorism, or a breach of contract, or an act of vandalism, or any other completely unrelated issue, like the physical abuse you mention? It's easy to avoid behavior that is objectively wrong (a knife in the stomach kills anyone), but if the issue is "person X is being offended where many others wouldn't since all people are different", I find it pretty hard to justify the kind of disciplinary actions some of the commenters seem to advocate. I'm happy to live in a more backwater-ish part of the world where grave acts of harrasment including threats, intimidations, and all sorts of physical stuff are punished but jokes and banter are treated for what they actually are. If anything, some of my female colleagues made *me* blush for some things I've heard from them, not the other way round. No one sane has ever had any problem with it. I hope that no one ever will.

Re:laws

[Luckyo]

It's not about improving workplace environment. It's about securing your position against destructive lawsuits.

Former is nice to have. Latter is mandatory.

Re:laws

[ackthpt]

We went through a couple sessions, mandated by management. We'll have another one in a few months. Key point to make is that people who do not act approrpiately will be pulled from the team and possibly sacked. Fear works pretty effectively.

Why not re-assign the disrupting factor (the new incoming female employee) to another group where it won't be a problem?

Sounds like the original, all male group was working just fine....why break that up?

At the very least....you put her in, and everyone has to walk on eggshells....she's gonna be pretty much totally isolated from the group dynamic...and the group itself.

Why should the group have to change for one new incommer?

What if "She" happens to be the one person the group will depend upon for success? Do you really want to think that through? Many employers in IT are expecting you to have your act together enough to work with anybody, regardless of gender, regligion, race, sexual orientation, because they hired you to get your work done, not sit around moaning you can't talk like a 'guy' around a female.

Geez, you people are making me feel like I'm part of management or something ...

Re:laws

[CCarrot]

And the same applies to the female in question. If I hire an employee, male or female I expect her or him to get the work done, instead of bitching about not liking what other employees are saying and making frivolous accusation of sexual harassing because of fleeting remarks.

I have nothing against prosecuting people who use their positions of authority to demand sexual favors, but in USA things have became utterly silly. ANYTHING can be considering harassment, even the way you look at someone. It is no wonder jobs are getting outsourced more and more.

This is an excellent point. The tolerance does have to flow both ways in such a situation, always.

I'm not saying that there aren't sniggering little douches out there, whose prime goal is to make anyone eligible to wear a skirt as uncomfortable as possible (you know who you are), but on the other hand, women working in a traditionally male workplace can't be exceptionally thin skinned either. They simply have to make it clear to everyone from the outset that the conversations, comments and innuendo in no way applies to them, they're just there to do the job.

Case in point: I used to work in the oil patch around about ten years ago. At first my crew / shopmates weren't sure quite how to behave with a 'girl' on the truck (I saw an awful lot of bare spots on the walls where the nudie pics were hastily removed :). After a brief discussion with the guys, I made it clear that I didn't mind foul language, dirty jokes, or photos of women on the walls (as long as they were wearing a bikini at least), so long as they were absolutely, crystal clear that none of that ever applies to me. They relaxed, I relaxed, and we got along great! The guys would keep their skin mags in the sleeper, and always made sure I had privacy when we didn't have a bathroom on site (more often than not, unfortunately). They'd even call down the rig guys on my behalf if they started getting obnoxious, they really were a super set of guys to work with.

Of course, the other side of the coin is: the boss must be approachable if there is even one jerk in the bunch who won't take 'no' or 'get lost' for an answer. I thankfully never got to that point, the few who were mildly persistent eventually got it through their heads that I was serious about my job and would never break my workplace rules on the matter. But if it is causing stress, and the guy just won't take a hint, then the boss better be ready to back her up with measures. Same from the other direction: if she starts hitting on some of the team and won't take 'no', or 'I'm married' for an answer, the boss had better be ready to back the guys up, pronto!

Good grief...

[Frosty Piss]

...It is guaranteed that there will be remarks, double entendres and innuendos with huge potential of getting worse...

So you work with a bunch of unprofessional animals?

You should *already* have a policy that makes such comments and such a work environment unacceptable.

Let them know that this type of childish behavior is not only unacceptable, but will result in being canned.

End of sentence.

Hire a trainer

[plopez]

I am serious. From your post you are already over the line. A lawsuit is just one disgruntled employee away. Fix it and fast.

Re:Hire a trainer

[Anonymous Coward]

The office isn't the pub. It's a professional working environment where certain standards have to be maintained.

You may be lucky enough to hire someone that will give as good as they get, but you may hire someone who isn't. That's not their fault. They would have an expectation that they're joining a professional company, not a bunch of cowboys who can't control their mouths and sexism.

It's time for the OP's company to mature and grow up into a decent, open, friendly workplace where nobody feels that they are the victim of prejudice, bullying, etc.

A single female in a workplace of several mouthy sexist men is not going to feel comfortable.

Guaranteed?

[avandesande]

Is your team a bunch of 14YOs?

Preparing the Inquisition already?

[bigrat]

If you have so little confidence in your crew, why are they still working for you?

Generally speaking, most professional men above the age of 20 that are managed properly will behave properly. The fact that you feel your crew will not behave properly speaks volumes about your management.

This little set of "exercises" you have planned seems like a witch hunt - something you do when you need a scapegoat. I'm glad I don't work with you.

As an IT manager who hired the team's 1st woman...

[garcia]

We had none of this garbage. None. I knew I didn't even have to say a word to my guys...why? Because we're all adults and professionals and we know better than to do that shit.

Listen, it's 2012 and almost every single one of your employees has been through some sort of mandatory sexual harassment training at some point in their careers. If you have someone who hasn't (recent college grad with no other work history or an intern or something) pull them aside and handle it.

If this is an issue w/your staff, you should make some other changes, not just the woman you brought on board.

Be prepared to fire people over this

[dkleinsc]

1. Create a policy, in writing, about what is and what is not acceptable behavior in the workplace when it comes to sexual harassment.
2. If somebody violates that policy, reprimand them privately at first, and then publicly if they still don't get it. And keep a record of doing that.
3. If somebody continues to violate the policy, fire them.
If you're not willing to fire people to make a non-harassing culture happen, then you aren't really serious about putting a stop to it. And these are exactly the kind of steps you need to have taken if your company gets sued over your guys' behavior.

Some other things you can do:
1. Lead by example. Treat her like a professional, because that's what she is. Treat your guys the same way if you aren't already, and make it clear that you expect them to act the same way. When you're working, you're working, not hanging out with your buddies at the bar.
2. Nip it in the bud. Don't wait for the second comment, or there will be a third.
3. Make it clear that you're putting a stop to it because if you don't, your boss will (They should back you up on this, if they don't give up, it's a lost cause)
4. Tell 'em (truthfully) you may be able to loosen things up if things go well at first. If your new employee makes it totally clear that she's fine with this sort of thing, then you can let the guys go with it.

IANAL, TINLA, etc.

This question just pisses me off

[thePowerOfGrayskull]

A female colleague just joined our team a few months back (previously all male). Know what we did to prepare? Nothing. Because we are all adults and knowwhat's appropriate in the workplace. The innuendo didn't exist before she joined and it sure as hell didn't start after.

You want to prevent it? Don't fucking do it, and don't accept it when anyone else does. Certainly don't treat it like a game or accept that it is inevitable.

Companies like yours are the ones that give the media ammunition when they want to dig up crap about gender discrimination in the IT/IS world.

tl;dr -you're all big boys now and should damn well know what's acceptable behavior.

What kind of people work there?

[QuietLagoon]

It is guaranteed that there will be remarks, double entendres and innuendos with huge potential of getting worse.

As a male, I would not want to work with those people. Your company has a personnel problem well beyond what you think it is.

IAAL, imagining a deposition...

[Whatsthiswhatsthis]

IAAL, and I'm imagining the deposition in a hypothetical (inevitable?) sexual harassment suit. Q: Were you, as a supervisor, aware of any sexual harassment at the workplace? A: No. Q: Did you have a "sexual harassment jar"? A: Yes. Q: And what was the purpose of the sexual harassment jar? A: To curb employee sexual harassment. Every time someone said something that could be sexual or suggestive, they'd have to put a dollar in the jar. Q: And how much money was eventually contributed to the jar? A: The last time I cleaned it out, it had $562. Q: So let me ask you again, were you aware of any sexual harassment at the workplace?

Put another way...

[hackula]

How is this different from the following?:

"My team of about 10 white men (white IT guys) is expecting a new colleague: a black one. It is guaranteed that there will be remarks, racist jokes and insults with huge potential of getting worse. We already have blacks in teams who can somehow handle this (and deliver apropriate verbal slaps). How would you deal with this? We talked about some simple, fun ways — anyone who [acts inappropriately] will have to wear an embarassing tie, etc. — instead of swear jar, having a racist-remark jar and even fairly harsh punishments (like people losing their bonuses for the month or their extra vaccation days). I'd like to figure out a solution that would be effective, not call much attention to itself, and not be quickly abandoned."

This kind of work environment is completely unacceptable in the 21st century.

Re:What has your workplace done?

[ackthpt]

Fired them. (No tolerance policy.)

No wonder men don't care often for working with women. You have to bend to the lowest common denominator as far as 'feelings' go....legally.

Guys can't be guys in the workplace....

Yes, they are expected to be professional, not a bunch of guys with a locker room vocabulary. It's not the 1950's anymore.

I work among many women and to be quite frank they sometimes say things among themselves I don't care to hear, either. Personal stuff is for personal time, not work time.

Re:It's called "Get A Grip!"

[localman]

Which one sounds more like childish whining: Not wanting to have people talk shit at you all day? Or not wanting to have to shut your mouth and stop talking shit?

When someone wants you to stop talking in the theater, is it they who are the jerk because they can't just deal with it?

People: if you can't stop yourself from saying sexually harassing things, you've got some serious problems. If you whine that you are somehow being oppressed because you can't say stupid shit to whoever you want, you're a whiney baby.

Most of us are much better than this, of course, but there's always a few idiots in these discussions that still don't get it. Thanks, Tastecicles, for bringing the stupid.

Re:What has your workplace done?

[jjohnson]

I'm a guy, and I've never found it difficult not to bring sex into workplace conversations and situations. Here's a short list of other things I find it easy not to do in a professional context:

1. Masturbate.
2. Shit myself.
3. Spend all day reading Facebook updates.
4. Nap.
5. Talk about my cats.

Your definition of "being a guy" seems to include acting like you're in a frat house when you're not. Okay, shine on, you crazy diamond. The rest of us will get on with our day accepting boundaries and getting on with our jobs.

Re:What has your workplace done?

[Anonymous Coward]

If I'm gay, can I be a "guy" in your workplace? Can I comment on your nice firm ass? Make give you a slap on the but every once and a while because you're doing such a good job?

Guys being guys.. right?

Re:It's called "Get A Grip!"

[djchristensen]

Says the guy who's obviously never been in the minority position in an uncomfortable environment.

I've always felt like I had a reasonable understanding of what it might feel like to be in such a minority position, at least in an intellectual sense, but it wasn't until I worked in a fairly large team that was >60% Indian and 20% Chinese (myself being white) that I truly understood it. So unless you've "walked a mile in her shoes", you're in no position to criticise a woman who feels uncomfortable in a group of men who act like crude sexist jerks (while claiming not to be). I'm not a big fan of zero-tolerance PC policies, but I do strongly believe in having respect for others, and if that means no sexual innuendo or whatever, I'm fine with that.

And note that in the OP's case, it may very well be that the woman that joins the group is perfectly comfortable in that environment, but that's a decision she gets to make, like it or not. Where I work now, there are women who can dish it out just as well as the guys (and seem to enjoy doing so), but we're all aware of what others are comfortable with. It's a natural part of simply being respectful.

Re:It's called "Get A Grip!"

[jdavidb]

Unfortunately, these days...legal reasons are the bottom line, which is sad. I mean, shouldn't all adults be able to have a bit of thick skin and do their job. Even in a bunch of just guys....individual guys get razzed and all, that's just normal. And yet...no one get sued, and work gets done...etc.

Getting razzed is fine. Having comments made about your sexuality when they haven't been invited is absolutely unacceptable. Besides gender issues, many people prefer to keep their sexuality private. I can think of hundreds of reasons ranging from closeted non-standard sexual orientations to religious conviction, not to mention the fact that some people are there to do a job, not to be propositioned or pick up a hookup for the night.

Basically, I prefer to keep my sexuality in the bedroom (so to speak), and I demand that everybody stay out of my bedroom unless invited, and I have only invited one person. I don't think that this privacy is too much to ask, and I do think that invading it in this way is intolerably disrespectful.

And really...if the women started making double entendre comments and the like...does anyone think the typical man entering that group would get upset in the least bit?

I don't know what culture you are a part of that tolerates this, but I am a married man, and no, I would not appreciate double entendre statements addressed to me. I do take my wedding vows seriously as they are the foundation of my children's whole world and existence, and I would never joke or permit someone to joke about the idea of me being sexual with someone besides my wife. Maybe that is all just a joke to you. But in my workplace, men don't talk to women like that, women don't talk to men like that. And we are in "good old boy" east Texas, yet somehow we manage to behave like grownups who are here to do a job, not to get laid.

Re:What has your workplace done?

[HornWumpus]

In practice, yes you can. Anyone who complains will be called a homophobe and sent for re-education.

Re:It's called "Get A Grip!"

[Rei]

Because of this.