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Steve Jobs Reincarnated As a Warrior-Philosopher, Thai Group Says

Velcroman1 writes "When Apple founder Steve Jobs died after a long fight with cancer last year, software engineer Tony Tseung sent an email to a Buddhist group in Thailand to find out what happened to his old boss now that he's no longer of this world. This month, Tseung received his answer. Jobs has been reincarnated as a celestial warrior-philosopher, the Dhammakaya group said in a special television broadcast, and he's living in a mystical glass palace hovering above his old office at Apple's Cupertino, Calif. headquarters."

23 of 223 comments (clear)

  1. Who gives a fuck? by RobinEggs · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This isn't even posted under Idle; it's posted under Apple.

    We're really so obsessed with Apple that the after-life of it's CEO can make the front page?

    News for Nerds, Stuff that Doesn't Fucking Matter At All

    1. Re:Who gives a fuck? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      You scoff now, but in a year all the dead founders will have suspiciously similar glass palaces over their former headquarters, and you'll all be claiming the design is obvious and no one could design a decent afterlife without it.

    2. Re:Who gives a fuck? by gagol · · Score: 5, Insightful

      For the record, I used to admire the guy and even dreamed to work with him. His decisions and general attitude in the last years of his life made him look (in my light) worse than the "evil ibm" he was fighting against in early 80's. The single fact he once stated he would sue the hell out of android with every penny of his personal fortune really helped me put things in perspective, and I pretty much hate him right now... one have to realize the "illusion of grandeur" he was suffering from... and he died from it too by exclusively using alternative medicine to treat a cancer. That says a lot to me, and I think he got what he deserved... Something called Karma maybe?

      --
      Tomorrow is another day...
    3. Re:Who gives a fuck? by Taco+Cowboy · · Score: 4, Funny

      You scoff now, but in a year all the dead founders will have suspiciously similar glass palaces over their former headquarters, and you'll all be claiming the design is obvious and no one could design a decent afterlife without it.

       
      As long as you do not design your glass palace in the shape of rectangle with rounded corners you'll be fine...
       
      ... or fined
       

      --
      Muchas Gracias, Señor Edward Snowden !
    4. Re:Who gives a fuck? by Sussurros · · Score: 3, Informative

      The early 1980s was an interesting time. I remember Microsoft being our bulwark of defence against the evil IBM empire while Apple were playing panflutes in apple groves and suing the pants of anyone who made anything vaguely compaitible. By the late 1980s there was one very prescient scribe, I can't remember his name because all I get is Dvorak but that is a keyboard and not journalist, who said that he had seen the future and that MicroSoft (they spelled it that way then) would be the one Boss, the True Boss and the only Boss and that William Gates III would be the Dark Overlord. It seemed laughable at the time - but it nearly came to pass.

      --
      I said - don't look Ethel!..., but it was too late..., she'd already looked.
    5. Re:Who gives a fuck? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      3- Smash some windows

    6. Re:Who gives a fuck? by petsounds · · Score: 5, Insightful

      I'm reading the Jobs bio right now, and it really illuminated the fact that he was always a dick. From a very young age. But he was a dick who had vision. The Macintosh would've never even been made at Apple had Jobs not bullied and yelled his way to victory. But he had no scruples or ethics; he was like the personification of Nietzsche's works. It didn't matter how much you had done for him, he would turn around and stab you if he felt like you were no longer on 'his team'. He screwed Woz over so much that he refused to work with Jobs again. If Schmidt had done his research, he would've known how Jobs would react. It was another psychological trigger for his [biological] parental abandonment that this guy Jobs had welcomed on the board at Apple was now suddenly going to compete directly against Jobs. It was a constant in his life, finding these father figures who would then turn on him (usually because Jobs was an asshole) and he'd go insane. He should've known Jobs would go ballistic and press the red button.

      So, you can hate Jobs for being a dick. He had a lot of character flaws: flaws that made him succeed as an outsider in a very tough corporate game, and made his teams create some stellar products, but also emotionally wound many people in his life. But Steve suing Android -- I think it was psychological stuff he never dealt with. He felt abandoned and attacked in his relationship with Schmidt, and so he lashed out with great anger, as he had done many times throughout his career. He was a brilliant but very psychologically troubled man.

      I do think though that his trip to India and the LSD and Zen meditation, it was all kind of bullshit. The contradictions between that lifestyle and the way he treated others, it's inexcusable. But you know, many of his generation are the same way. They like to think they still embrace hippie culture, like they all share a secret everyone else doesn't have, but it's very superficial.

      But to say Steve "got what he deserved" and attributing that to karma... man, Steve was not a great guy, but not someone that death should be wished upon. And that's not what karma is about. It's not some kind of cosmic schadenfreude. You seem to have a lot of anger in you that you'd be so worked up over a phone. There's more important things in life.

    7. Re:Who gives a fuck? by just_a_monkey · · Score: 5, Funny

      I do think though that his trip to India and the LSD and Zen meditation, it was all kind of bullshit.

      But he does have a sweet glass palace now.

      --
      How inappropriate to call this planet Earth, when clearly it is Ocean.
    8. Re:Who gives a fuck? by lxs · · Score: 3, Informative

      That is one interpretation. Depending on the school of Buddhism or Hinduism the interpretations vary. As Alan Watts has pointed out, "Karma" means work or action and that's all it means. Whether the results of your karma are tit-for-tat, nonexistent, on credit or part of a divine system of justice really depends on which robed figure you follow and which mythical creatures you believe in.

    9. Re:Who gives a fuck? by maxwell+demon · · Score: 4, Funny

      Don't forget: They are android penguins. Probably they dream of electric fish!

      --
      The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
  2. Re incarnation by ozduo · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'd like to come back as a tablecloth. Laid three times a day then pulled off afterwards. HA HA!

    --
    I got to the chocolate box before you, that's why the hard ones have teeth marks.
  3. Yes But by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Does it have rounded corners?

  4. In other words... by mrsam · · Score: 5, Funny

    In other words,

    /me puts on his sunglasses

    ... Steve jobs has been uploaded to the iCloud.

  5. Re:Thanks for that by NoNonAlphaCharsHere · · Score: 3, Funny

    No, it belongs on Yahoo!

  6. Re:Thanks for that by shugah · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Only because there is no category for stupid.

    --
    If you aren't part of the solution, then there is good money to be made prolonging the problem
  7. Re:Sociopath war monger idiot. by dyingtolive · · Score: 4, Insightful

    And to make it worse, people won't stop fucking worshiping him.

    --
    Support the EFF and Creative Commons. The war is coming, and they're supporting you...
  8. They found the baby seat in a Mercedes SL55 AMG by retroworks · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... Parked in a handicapped parking spot in Bangkok.

    --
    Gently reply
  9. Great Karma by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    I too once had a great Karma, a Karma Ghia. It too was reincarnated many times. When I got my Karma, it had no compression. I had traded an old Dodge for it, which had no brakes.
        When we pulled the oil drain and peered inside, we saw quite a mess. Little chunks of twisted metal everywhere. It was terminal. So we just put the oil drain back, and drove the Hell out of it for five years, occasionally adding oil and gasoline.
        It was quite an Educator- I taught four people how to drive in it. It had a nose of Wonder; it was crushed beyond recognition when my two sisters managed to sequentially run it head on into both a Citroen Maserati and a Ferrari 250GT. The other two cars were undamaged.
        It never managed to hover. It did manage to float down a steep muddy hillside. There were mushrooms growing on the back package tray.
        The coil was held in place with a shoelace, and the battery was kept from dragging on the ground with several layers of deteriorated cardboard stashed underneath.
        I don't know its inevitable demise, it was passed on from family to friend, to friend, to friends of friends, to whoever; only the All Knowing DMV in the Sky knows for sure.
        My Karma wasn't Buddhist. I think that it might have been a Lutheran.

  10. Karma by Viceice · · Score: 5, Insightful

    If anything, he should be reincarnated as a Chinese iPhone assembly line worker.

    --
    Sometimes I wish I was a plumber, then I'd know how to deal with other people's shit.
  11. Re:Jesus Christ... by Pseudonym+Authority · · Score: 4, Insightful

    No, in Christianity, you don't become an angel after you die. You become a subject (read: subject, not a citizen) in the Kingdom (not a Republic, so you won't be hugging Jesus like most think; it's a fucking monarchy for Christ's (get it?) sake) in the kingdom of heaven, where you spend eternity trying to fix God's low self-esteem.

  12. a quick (and faulted) primer on bhuddist cosology by wierd_w · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ok, if Jobs is floating over his OLD OFFICE, that means he was incarnated as a hungry ghost!

    See, in bhuddist cosmology, there are various gradients of existence. This world, our world, represents the crossroads between the celestial heavens, and the hellish naraka. (Those are plural. There are many of each.)

    The important thing of note here, is that the priests say he was incarnated above his old office. This means here, on the mortal realm.

    In the mortal realm, there are 3 potential kinds of incarnation: Human, Hungry ghost, and Animal.

    Since he is incorporeal, and in the mortal realm, that means he is a hungry ghost. Hungry ghosts are called that, because they have big appetites, but lack any real means to sate them. They are a pitiable form of existence, but can also cause serious problems, such as hauntings.

    Wiki on hungry ghosts

    That he would incarnate into a LOWER incarnation implies he had BAD karma, but not quite sufficient to send him to one of the naraka. (Though the burning flesh naraka might be appropriate if you ask me.)

    So, if you work at apple, you should attempt to appease the late Jobs, by leaving offerings of unmarked bills, and the latest iDevice on his desk. Failing to do so will anger the hungry ghot, and there will be trouble. Burning incense may help as well. But not sandalwood. It's tacky.

  13. The world is a better place with him dead by SmallFurryCreature · · Score: 4, Informative

    Then who deserves to die? You are just another wannabe hippy. Someone who doesn't love all but who is just to afraid to just admit some people deserve dead. Your like those people who are against the death penalty, not because they believe in human beings but because they don't want to take responsibility.

    We are talking about a man who parked in handicap spaces when he could have build his office to have a drive in office if he wanted to. This person had zero morals and zero empathy. The only people that love him, everyone close to him (READ the reactions to his dead carefully) pretty much said "interesting guy, but ain't gonna shed a tear). Their would have been more reaction of a toaster had stopped working. A human being did not die, a thing died that made some fancy gadgets that will only be remembered in marketing books.

    People say that nobody says that on they wished they spent more time in the office on their deathbed. I think Steve Jobs wished he did.

    --

    MMO Quests are like orgasms:

    You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.

    1. Re:The world is a better place with him dead by ultranova · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Then who deserves to die? You are just another wannabe hippy. Someone who doesn't love all but who is just to afraid to just admit some people deserve dead. Your like those people who are against the death penalty, not because they believe in human beings but because they don't want to take responsibility.

      Take responsibility in what way, exactly speaking? If an innocent man gets sent to his death, as has happened, who gets punished in what way? Does the jury follow him to the grave? Do all supporters of death penalty draw lots to see who gets to carry the responsibility of an innocent dying? And for that matter, should some philosopher/prophet/whatever come up with an airtight argument for death penalty being wrong even when the accused really is guilty of heinous crimes, will they all turn yourselfs over for whatever punishment murder would then get?

      Or, as is usually the case, does "taking responsibility" mean absolutely nothing?

      Also, I find your idea of sticking a zombie horde on the deserving intriguing. Does the amount of chainsaw fuel inversely depend on the seriousness of the infraction? Or should we simply vary the ratio of quick and slow zombies?

      --

      Forget magic. Any technology distinguishable from divine power is insufficiently advanced.