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Steve Jobs Reincarnated As a Warrior-Philosopher, Thai Group Says
Velcroman1 writes "When Apple founder Steve Jobs died after a long fight with cancer last year, software engineer Tony Tseung sent an email to a Buddhist group in Thailand to find out what happened to his old boss now that he's no longer of this world. This month, Tseung received his answer. Jobs has been reincarnated as a celestial warrior-philosopher, the Dhammakaya group said in a special television broadcast, and he's living in a mystical glass palace hovering above his old office at Apple's Cupertino, Calif. headquarters."
This isn't even posted under Idle; it's posted under Apple.
We're really so obsessed with Apple that the after-life of it's CEO can make the front page?
News for Nerds, Stuff that Doesn't Fucking Matter At All
I'd like to come back as a tablecloth. Laid three times a day then pulled off afterwards. HA HA!
I got to the chocolate box before you, that's why the hard ones have teeth marks.
Does it have rounded corners?
In other words,
... Steve jobs has been uploaded to the iCloud.
Those Buddhists are in trouble now. I have it on good authority that Apple has patented the iReincarnation app. They are going to have the same fate as Samsung in the next American trial!
...that there'd be Buddhist trolls. I imagine after they he sent this answer to Tseung, they had a really good belly laugh... "Yeah, I told him that Steve Jobs was reincarnated into an invisible glass house above his former office. And I said when they built the new office, he'd take up a position directly over the center, so he could survey all his creation."
My numerological and astrological calculations clearly show that Steve Jobs's next incarnation will be as a kitten that I'm going to purchase from a pet shop in suburban Melbourne (NO, I'm not going to say exactly where) in July 2017.
That gives me time to get the lawyers started on getting inheritance rights for reincarnations. Jobsy the kitten will deserve the best in life, and he's earned it already.
No, it belongs on Yahoo!
Only because there is no category for stupid.
If you aren't part of the solution, then there is good money to be made prolonging the problem
And to make it worse, people won't stop fucking worshiping him.
Support the EFF and Creative Commons. The war is coming, and they're supporting you...
... Parked in a handicapped parking spot in Bangkok.
Gently reply
I too once had a great Karma, a Karma Ghia. It too was reincarnated many times. When I got my Karma, it had no compression. I had traded an old Dodge for it, which had no brakes.
When we pulled the oil drain and peered inside, we saw quite a mess. Little chunks of twisted metal everywhere. It was terminal. So we just put the oil drain back, and drove the Hell out of it for five years, occasionally adding oil and gasoline.
It was quite an Educator- I taught four people how to drive in it. It had a nose of Wonder; it was crushed beyond recognition when my two sisters managed to sequentially run it head on into both a Citroen Maserati and a Ferrari 250GT. The other two cars were undamaged.
It never managed to hover. It did manage to float down a steep muddy hillside. There were mushrooms growing on the back package tray.
The coil was held in place with a shoelace, and the battery was kept from dragging on the ground with several layers of deteriorated cardboard stashed underneath.
I don't know its inevitable demise, it was passed on from family to friend, to friend, to friends of friends, to whoever; only the All Knowing DMV in the Sky knows for sure.
My Karma wasn't Buddhist. I think that it might have been a Lutheran.
If anything, he should be reincarnated as a Chinese iPhone assembly line worker.
Sometimes I wish I was a plumber, then I'd know how to deal with other people's shit.
Not just that, but the title "warrior-philosopher" is an oxymoron. No philosopher worthy of the title would ever be a warrior. A warrior may on occasion dabble in philosophy, but he'd never be called a real philosopher.
A call bullshit on the whole thing.
No philosopher worthy of the title would ever be a warrior.
WTF?
I don't even know where to begin...
Required reading for internet skeptics
Jesus Christ? If he had worshipped Jesus Christ he'd now be a meek angel plucking at a harp. At least multiclass warrior-philosophers can hope to get laid now and then. And kick the ass of anyone who disputes their philosophy.
At least he didn't worship Inugami the Dog-God. If he had, he'd now be humping some warrior-philosopher's leg.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
What bothers always about the concept of reincarnation (with a carnal body, so not TFA), is that if you don't have any memories or experiences of your past lives, what is left, then? How do they make any impact? An explanation could be that the previous experiences shape life in some way that the person cannot sense.
Don't worry, Apple no matter what can do no wrong. Never any wrong. Just ask the people making Apple stuff who keep jumping to their deaths.
Om, nomnomnom...
Um, Sun Tzu called he wanted to know what planet you happen to live on.
---Saying gnome 3 is better than windows 8 not so much a compliment as it is damning with light praise.
No, in Christianity, you don't become an angel after you die. You become a subject (read: subject, not a citizen) in the Kingdom (not a Republic, so you won't be hugging Jesus like most think; it's a fucking monarchy for Christ's (get it?) sake) in the kingdom of heaven, where you spend eternity trying to fix God's low self-esteem.
Ok, if Jobs is floating over his OLD OFFICE, that means he was incarnated as a hungry ghost!
See, in bhuddist cosmology, there are various gradients of existence. This world, our world, represents the crossroads between the celestial heavens, and the hellish naraka. (Those are plural. There are many of each.)
The important thing of note here, is that the priests say he was incarnated above his old office. This means here, on the mortal realm.
In the mortal realm, there are 3 potential kinds of incarnation: Human, Hungry ghost, and Animal.
Since he is incorporeal, and in the mortal realm, that means he is a hungry ghost. Hungry ghosts are called that, because they have big appetites, but lack any real means to sate them. They are a pitiable form of existence, but can also cause serious problems, such as hauntings.
Wiki on hungry ghosts
That he would incarnate into a LOWER incarnation implies he had BAD karma, but not quite sufficient to send him to one of the naraka. (Though the burning flesh naraka might be appropriate if you ask me.)
So, if you work at apple, you should attempt to appease the late Jobs, by leaving offerings of unmarked bills, and the latest iDevice on his desk. Failing to do so will anger the hungry ghot, and there will be trouble. Burning incense may help as well. But not sandalwood. It's tacky.
Only because there is no category for stupid.
Then it is in the right category ;) (Apple)
"The agriculture ministry is not in charge of Gundam" - Japanese ministry official.
Then who deserves to die? You are just another wannabe hippy. Someone who doesn't love all but who is just to afraid to just admit some people deserve dead. Your like those people who are against the death penalty, not because they believe in human beings but because they don't want to take responsibility.
We are talking about a man who parked in handicap spaces when he could have build his office to have a drive in office if he wanted to. This person had zero morals and zero empathy. The only people that love him, everyone close to him (READ the reactions to his dead carefully) pretty much said "interesting guy, but ain't gonna shed a tear). Their would have been more reaction of a toaster had stopped working. A human being did not die, a thing died that made some fancy gadgets that will only be remembered in marketing books.
People say that nobody says that on they wished they spent more time in the office on their deathbed. I think Steve Jobs wished he did.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Ok, you want to play that game, let me see if I can do it. Jobs may have been a very successful man, which would indicate a fairly high amount of Karma. But as tweaked as he got about Android, I don't think he was Crystal Palace material. Maybe brushed aluminium material... Personally, I think he was reincarnated at CowboyNeal. Did you notice that we saw a bunch of articles from CowboyNeal right after he died? And since Slashdot has the limit on Karma, Steve could have been tweaked at Android and still be "Excellent"!
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
John C. Dvorak writes for PC Magazine. His August 31, 2012 article is Apple's iPhone 5 Ploy.