North Korea Claims Archaeologists Have Found 'Unicorn Lair' In Pyongyang

eldavojohn writes "NPR pointed out a press release claiming that North Korean archaeologists have found a 'unicorn lair' in Pyongyang. The members of the History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences have "reconfirmed" that this site was used for King Tongmyong's unicorn where the unicorn would concoct his unicorn schemes and do his unicorn things if anyone ventured too closely. The last line is, perhaps, the most important line of the article, 'The discovery of the unicorn lair, associated with legend about King Tongmyong, proves that Pyongyang was a capital city of Ancient Korea as well as Koguryo Kingdom.' Fear not that North Korea is surpassing the world in cryptozoology, Dr. Melba S. Ketchum of Nacogdoches, TX has claimed to have recently sequenced Bigfoot's DNA and he's part human."

Comments

May I be the first to say

[Apothem]

What the hell? Also, how in the heck does something THIS RETARDED land on the front page?

Re:May I be the first to say

[Anonymous Coward]

What the hell? Also, how in the heck does something THIS RETARDED land on the front page?

It's Idle. Remove the section from your preferences instead of bitching, please.

Re:May I be the first to say

[Anonymous Coward]

It's not news. It's not for nerds. It does not matter. I don't know why this would surprise you, it's not like anybody on /. reads the article, the summary, or even the title. Hell, you're lucky I even read your comment before responding.

Re:May I be the first to say

[Intrepid imaginaut]

It is pitiable how the editor(s) feel the need to mock the ignorant propaganda of a thoroughly subjugated people. I remember reading about how escapees from North Korea across the Chinese border were returned, and the Chinese guards were sickened by the sight of wires being passed through the wrists of the refugees by way of handcuffs before they were led off. But no, we read about unicorns.

I know this is Slashdot and we're all here for the braintrust comments, but the latest crap to make it to the front page is coming very, very close to outweighing the benefits.

Re:May I be the first to say

[nedlohs]

There's clearly a competition happening for most idiotic posting. From plastic on mars, to a loop that isn't a loop, to this.

Re:May I be the first to say

[Anonymous Coward]

I got it in "entertainment"

Re:May I be the first to say

[Anonymous Coward]

I got it in 'Ponies and Unicorns'.

Re:May I be the first to say

[gagol]

Somewhat, I find unicorns (horse genetic mutation after all) are much more plausible than a "benevolent" god that punish people who enjoy life and planted dinosaur bones to trick us into thinking the earth is older than 6000 years.

Re:May I be the first to say

[Darinbob]

I don't know. It's not that idiotic, though not necessarily slashdot oriented. Nothing says they found unicorns. They found a site referenced in older manuscripts that gives credence to a certain king having lived in Pyongyang. The cave has a carving over its entrance indicating that it's a "unicorn lair" (ir they translate right). So the press release isn't claiming anything about unicorns, but it is pushing some propaganda about Pyongyang having been an ancient capitol of Korea.

Of course no one carves this on a real unicorn lair, if the carvings exist they were probably put there after the legend started to grow.

It's sort of like if they found some ancient carving above a cave in England claiming to be where George slew his dragon. Clearly not evidence of a dragon but if authenticated it could be evidence of where the legend started or the site of an early pilgrimage or tourist site.

Re:May I be the first to say

[realityimpaired]

I sorta got the impression that they were mocking the Caligula of the Far East who's doing the subjugating. The US gubmint isn't going to remove him, because he doesn't have any oil, so this is pretty much all we can do.

Oil has nothing to do with it, in this case: even if they had oil, it's unlikely that the west would liberate them. It's more about China wanting a land buffer between US troops and their mainland. The US military is smart enough to realize that China would almost certainly come in protecting NK if it ever did become a shooting war, and there's too much to lose. The cold war between Russia and the US may be over, but the one between the US and China is just getting started.

Re:May I be the first to say

[__Paul__]

It is pitiable how the editor(s) feel the need to mock the ignorant propaganda of a thoroughly subjugated people.

I don't think there's anything wrong with mocking propaganda. Propaganda deserves to be mocked, it is often the best way of dealing with it (even in Western countries).

Yes, the situation in North Korea is terrible, but remember many Asian countries like to maintain "face" (a thoroughly ridiculous concept) and embarrassing dictatorships like this can be particularly effective.

Re:May I be the first to say

[khallow]

Because you're always propping them up in the first place, while it suits your interests.

Not North Korea. If China hadn't gotten involved in North Korea's defense, North Korea would be a distant memory.

Re:May I be the first to say

[cbiltcliffe]

You must be new here.
The official title of that section is:

OMG!!1!1! PONIES!!!!1!11!!!ONE!!1!

Re:May I be the first to say

[JWSmythe]

Actually, if it were true, and if the unicorn DNA were tested and shown to not be a horse with a dildo strapped to it's head, it would be news.

North Korea has a running trend of wild claims. This one just reinforces their place as "the nation no one believes".

As a group, they are holding the #1 position in the Batshit Crazy Olympics. The only competition even close are conspiracy theorists, and they're a distant second. They'll have to come up with something much nuttier than the emperor's unicorn farm. So far all the best they have are Aliens, UFOs, the Kennedy Assassination conspiracy, contrails, NWO, GMOs, 9/11 myths, and lizard aliens...

Yes my friends.. The mythical unicorn farm ranks far over lizard aliens. Now, stop taking your court ordered meds, and come up with something better than *that*.

(hehe, unicorns)

Re:May I be the first to say

[avgjoe62]

Oh good... I hope they bring back M.A.S.H.

Re:May I be the first to say

[morethanapapercert]

Technically; the Korean war never ended, both sides are currently in an armistice, despite the fact that North Korea continues to commit provocative acts. Look up the sinking of the Cheonan sometime.

Re:May I be the first to say

[Deadstick]

Indeed. If not for the French, we in the States would be speaking English today.

Re:May I be the first to say

[Calydor]

North Korea has a running trend of wild claims. This one just reinforces their place as "the nation no one believes".

The big problem is that one day, they ARE going to discover something by sheer coincidence, and no one will believe them enough to even try to replicate the result.

Hopefully this isn't it, would really be a shame.

Re:May I be the first to say

[jonadab]

Actually, the unicorn remains were _planted_ in Korea by the NKVD, back in the thirties, as part of a secret joint operation with the US Department of Agriculture. The operation was suspended during WWII and the Korean War, and then before they could get around to completing it the USDA had to pull out (because of the altered political situation in Korea), leaving the MVD to bungle it until the Sino-Soviet Split forced them to finally abandon the effort as well. Nobody trusted China to complete the project, so they were never informed.

The unicorns actually live in the Arctic, but the Russian, Scandinavian, Canadian, and American governments keep that covered up, because if it ever got out it would call the Reindeer Dogma into question.

It's retaliation

[Grayhand]

They're just trying to get back at us for The Onion article about the sexiest man alive.

Re:It's retaliation

[SternisheFan]

Yes, but who's retaliating at us, North Korea or the Slashdot editors?

Kim Jong Un-icorn

[Bayoudegradeable]

It's best we just go ahead and surrender now. I for one welcome..... no, no, this goes beyond overlord.... I welcome our unicorn-domesticating superiors and look forward to serving under the yoke of unicornia!! (I admit I got all excited at first thinking they found a lair of uni-porn.... but this isn't bad, either!)

Nuclear Weapons

[guttentag]

This is why poor countries shouldn't develop nuclear weapons. Sooner or later your horses start to look like unicorns.

Chinese unicorns

[Sussurros]

Well, China did have its own mythical unicorn called the qilin and when a series of Chinese fleets sailed to Africa in the 1400s and brought back giraffes and the Chinese had their qilin unicorns.

Re:First Mickey Mouse, Now Unicorns?

[khallow]

And at the same time the population might also be fooled - not because they are stupid, but because they've been bombarded with such 'official statements' their entire lives.

Or because people who don't believe, tend to die badly.

What the actual Korean news story said

[billstewart]

IO9's article about what the story's really about. First of all, a Kirin isn't really that much like a unicorn, though it is a mythical beast. But it's really about finding a site related to Tongmyng, ruler of an ancient kingdom in northern Korea, who was symbolized by the Kirin, kind of like calling somebody "The Dragon King" or whatever. There's some question about whether their announcement is more like "we found some cities from Troy / another Mayan pyramid / etc." type of history or more like "We found King Arthur's castle Camelot" sort of national mythology, which would certainly be the kind of thing you'd do when you've got a new Fearless Leader.

Fake because..

[BeCre8iv]

Unicorns are obviously not adapted to live in a lair