North Korea Claims Archaeologists Have Found 'Unicorn Lair' In Pyongyang

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North Korea Claims Archaeologists Have Found 'Unicorn Lair' In Pyongyang

Posted by timothy on Saturday December 1, 2012 @10:34AM from the not-so-horny-after-all dept.

eldavojohn writes "NPR pointed out a press release claiming that North Korean archaeologists have found a 'unicorn lair' in Pyongyang. The members of the History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences have "reconfirmed" that this site was used for King Tongmyong's unicorn where the unicorn would concoct his unicorn schemes and do his unicorn things if anyone ventured too closely. The last line is, perhaps, the most important line of the article, 'The discovery of the unicorn lair, associated with legend about King Tongmyong, proves that Pyongyang was a capital city of Ancient Korea as well as Koguryo Kingdom.' Fear not that North Korea is surpassing the world in cryptozoology, Dr. Melba S. Ketchum of Nacogdoches, TX has claimed to have recently sequenced Bigfoot's DNA and he's part human."

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May I be the first to say by Apothem · 2012-12-01 10:36 · Score: 3, Insightful

What the hell? Also, how in the heck does something THIS RETARDED land on the front page?
1. Re:May I be the first to say by Anonymous Coward · 2012-12-01 10:38 · Score: 5, Informative
  
  What the hell? Also, how in the heck does something THIS RETARDED land on the front page?
  It's Idle. Remove the section from your preferences instead of bitching, please.
2. Re:May I be the first to say by Anonymous Coward · 2012-12-01 10:42 · Score: 3, Insightful
  
  It's not news. It's not for nerds. It does not matter. I don't know why this would surprise you, it's not like anybody on /. reads the article, the summary, or even the title. Hell, you're lucky I even read your comment before responding.
3. Re:May I be the first to say by Intrepid+imaginaut · 2012-12-01 10:45 · Score: 4, Interesting
  
  It is pitiable how the editor(s) feel the need to mock the ignorant propaganda of a thoroughly subjugated people. I remember reading about how escapees from North Korea across the Chinese border were returned, and the Chinese guards were sickened by the sight of wires being passed through the wrists of the refugees by way of handcuffs before they were led off. But no, we read about unicorns.
  I know this is Slashdot and we're all here for the braintrust comments, but the latest crap to make it to the front page is coming very, very close to outweighing the benefits.
4. Re:May I be the first to say by nedlohs · 2012-12-01 10:48 · Score: 3, Insightful
  
  There's clearly a competition happening for most idiotic posting. From plastic on mars, to a loop that isn't a loop, to this.
5. Re:May I be the first to say by Anonymous Coward · 2012-12-01 10:54 · Score: 3, Insightful
  
  I got it in "entertainment"
6. Re:May I be the first to say by Anonymous Coward · 2012-12-01 11:03 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I got it in 'Ponies and Unicorns'.
7. Re:May I be the first to say by gagol · 2012-12-01 11:05 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  Somewhat, I find unicorns (horse genetic mutation after all) are much more plausible than a "benevolent" god that punish people who enjoy life and planted dinosaur bones to trick us into thinking the earth is older than 6000 years.
  
  --
  Tomorrow is another day...
8. Re:May I be the first to say by Darinbob · 2012-12-01 11:37 · Score: 5, Informative
  
  I don't know. It's not that idiotic, though not necessarily slashdot oriented. Nothing says they found unicorns. They found a site referenced in older manuscripts that gives credence to a certain king having lived in Pyongyang. The cave has a carving over its entrance indicating that it's a "unicorn lair" (ir they translate right). So the press release isn't claiming anything about unicorns, but it is pushing some propaganda about Pyongyang having been an ancient capitol of Korea.
  Of course no one carves this on a real unicorn lair, if the carvings exist they were probably put there after the legend started to grow.
  It's sort of like if they found some ancient carving above a cave in England claiming to be where George slew his dragon. Clearly not evidence of a dragon but if authenticated it could be evidence of where the legend started or the site of an early pilgrimage or tourist site.
9. Re:May I be the first to say by realityimpaired · 2012-12-01 11:47 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  I sorta got the impression that they were mocking the Caligula of the Far East who's doing the subjugating. The US gubmint isn't going to remove him, because he doesn't have any oil, so this is pretty much all we can do.
  Oil has nothing to do with it, in this case: even if they had oil, it's unlikely that the west would liberate them. It's more about China wanting a land buffer between US troops and their mainland. The US military is smart enough to realize that China would almost certainly come in protecting NK if it ever did become a shooting war, and there's too much to lose. The cold war between Russia and the US may be over, but the one between the US and China is just getting started.
10. Re:May I be the first to say by myowntrueself · 2012-12-01 11:48 · Score: 2
  
  Hey look, God did sent bears to kill the children who mocked the old man's bald spot, but he DIDN'T put unicorns in North Korea. (2 Kings 2:23-24)
  Get it straight!
  and I've known many christians who say either "it was totally justified because they were mocking a PROPHET of THE LORD" or "it was ok because they weren't children they were teenagers".
  
  --
  In the free world the media isn't government run; the government is media run.
11. Re:May I be the first to say by __Paul__ · 2012-12-01 11:58 · Score: 5, Insightful
  
  It is pitiable how the editor(s) feel the need to mock the ignorant propaganda of a thoroughly subjugated people.
  I don't think there's anything wrong with mocking propaganda. Propaganda deserves to be mocked, it is often the best way of dealing with it (even in Western countries).
  Yes, the situation in North Korea is terrible, but remember many Asian countries like to maintain "face" (a thoroughly ridiculous concept) and embarrassing dictatorships like this can be particularly effective.
  
  --
  worldmobilenet.com -- World Prepaid Wireless Internet plans
12. Re:May I be the first to say by khallow · 2012-12-01 12:37 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  Because you're always propping them up in the first place, while it suits your interests.
  Not North Korea. If China hadn't gotten involved in North Korea's defense, North Korea would be a distant memory.
13. Re:May I be the first to say by cbiltcliffe · 2012-12-01 12:43 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  You must be new here.
  The official title of that section is:
  OMG!!1!1! PONIES!!!!1!11!!!ONE!!1!
  
  --
  "City hall" in German is "Rathaus" Kinda explains a few things......
14. Re:May I be the first to say by Seumas · 2012-12-01 12:59 · Score: 2
  
  Idle doesn't belong there, in the first place. This isn't reddit -- no mater how hard the editors want it to be.
15. Re:May I be the first to say by JWSmythe · 2012-12-01 13:23 · Score: 4, Interesting
  
  Actually, if it were true, and if the unicorn DNA were tested and shown to not be a horse with a dildo strapped to it's head, it would be news.
  North Korea has a running trend of wild claims. This one just reinforces their place as "the nation no one believes".
  As a group, they are holding the #1 position in the Batshit Crazy Olympics. The only competition even close are conspiracy theorists, and they're a distant second. They'll have to come up with something much nuttier than the emperor's unicorn farm. So far all the best they have are Aliens, UFOs, the Kennedy Assassination conspiracy, contrails, NWO, GMOs, 9/11 myths, and lizard aliens...
  Yes my friends.. The mythical unicorn farm ranks far over lizard aliens. Now, stop taking your court ordered meds, and come up with something better than *that*.
  (hehe, unicorns)
  
  --
  Serious? Seriousness is well above my pay grade.
16. Re:May I be the first to say by avgjoe62 · 2012-12-01 13:24 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Oh good... I hope they bring back M.A.S.H.
  
  --
  How come Slashdot never gets Slashdotted?
17. Re:May I be the first to say by Sir_Sri · 2012-12-01 13:38 · Score: 2
  
  Because it's so monumentally bizarre that it's worth laughing at?
  Would you really want to go into work on monday morning, and not know that North Korea had claimed to find a Unicorn lair?
  Lets say korea had a myth of a giant cave under pyongyang where a unicorn lived, that was accessed via a bottomless well. I didn't say the legend had to make sense, bear with me a moment. So some archaeologist goes digging around under pyongyang and finds a really massive cave, and there are some remains in it that appear to be people, and it looks like there might have been a couple of places where there could have been a hole in the ceiling at some point in the past. So then the archaeologist writes an article that says 'lair mentioned in unicorn myth may have been a real place'. That's not funny. That's not a /. post unless he did it with some fancy computer algorithm and google streetview or the like. But traditional digging around archeology? Naw, not important to slashot.
  But this. This is different. This appears to be claiming an actual real unicorn lair. That's hilariously crazy. And the thing with north korea is you can't tell if it's an onion piece, their version of the onion piece, or something they are seriously claiming. But it seems legit - and that makes it even more funny. Now the dude in question (who rode said unicorn) and the temple this lair is under appear to be real physical tangible things that are a least in part historically correct. And then there's a bit about a unicorn.
  The guy who claimed to sequence bigfoot DNA doesn't warrant the front page, he's just a random crazy person. He's only interesting in conjunction with the story. Now I grant you, north korea is institutionally crazy, but usually they're more 'the dear leader is perfect and we're going to fire missiles over japan to please him' kind of crazy. They're still firing missiles, but they're independently claiming a real unicorn lair. That's crazy even by north korean standards of crazy, and it's not threatening, which makes it hilarious.
18. Re:May I be the first to say by morethanapapercert · 2012-12-01 13:53 · Score: 3, Insightful
  
  Technically; the Korean war never ended, both sides are currently in an armistice, despite the fact that North Korea continues to commit provocative acts. Look up the sinking of the Cheonan sometime.
  
  --
  I need a wheelchair van for my son. Help me get the word out. https://www.gofundme.com/wheelchair-van-for-jj
19. Re:May I be the first to say by Impy+the+Impiuos+Imp · 2012-12-01 14:20 · Score: 2
  
  It's more proof Dear Leader III is just a Warcraft-playing chubb.
  
  --
  (-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
20. Re:May I be the first to say by Deadstick · 2012-12-01 15:20 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Indeed. If not for the French, we in the States would be speaking English today.
21. Re:May I be the first to say by reasterling · 2012-12-01 15:54 · Score: 2
  
  Hey everyone,
  Anonymous Coward has officially left. Now we go back to discussing things that do matter. ;)
  
  --
  "For I desired mercy, and not sacrifice" -- God
22. Re:May I be the first to say by Calydor · 2012-12-01 19:43 · Score: 3, Interesting
  
  North Korea has a running trend of wild claims. This one just reinforces their place as "the nation no one believes".
  The big problem is that one day, they ARE going to discover something by sheer coincidence, and no one will believe them enough to even try to replicate the result.
  Hopefully this isn't it, would really be a shame.
  
  --
  -=This sig has nothing to do with my comment. Move along now=-
23. Re:May I be the first to say by jonadab · 2012-12-01 21:33 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Actually, the unicorn remains were _planted_ in Korea by the NKVD, back in the thirties, as part of a secret joint operation with the US Department of Agriculture. The operation was suspended during WWII and the Korean War, and then before they could get around to completing it the USDA had to pull out (because of the altered political situation in Korea), leaving the MVD to bungle it until the Sino-Soviet Split forced them to finally abandon the effort as well. Nobody trusted China to complete the project, so they were never informed.
  The unicorns actually live in the Arctic, but the Russian, Scandinavian, Canadian, and American governments keep that covered up, because if it ever got out it would call the Reindeer Dogma into question.
  
  --
  Cut that out, or I will ship you to Norilsk in a box.
24. Re:May I be the first to say by Anonymous Coward · 2012-12-01 22:26 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Actually, if it were true, and if the unicorn DNA were tested and shown to not be a horse with a dildo strapped to it's head, it would be news.
  I'm betting it's just a horse with one of its horns broken off.
It's retaliation by Grayhand · 2012-12-01 10:39 · Score: 4, Funny

They're just trying to get back at us for The Onion article about the sexiest man alive.
1. Re:It's retaliation by SternisheFan · 2012-12-01 11:04 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Yes, but who's retaliating at us, North Korea or the Slashdot editors?
Kim Jong Un-icorn by Bayoudegradeable · 2012-12-01 10:40 · Score: 5, Funny

It's best we just go ahead and surrender now. I for one welcome..... no, no, this goes beyond overlord.... I welcome our unicorn-domesticating superiors and look forward to serving under the yoke of unicornia!! (I admit I got all excited at first thinking they found a lair of uni-porn.... but this isn't bad, either!)

--
Sig Registration Form 34c_766(a) submitted to Ministry of Signature Management. Approval pending.
Nuclear Weapons by guttentag · 2012-12-01 10:45 · Score: 5, Funny

This is why poor countries shouldn't develop nuclear weapons. Sooner or later your horses start to look like unicorns.
Chinese unicorns by Sussurros · 2012-12-01 11:09 · Score: 4, Informative

Well, China did have its own mythical unicorn called the qilin and when a series of Chinese fleets sailed to Africa in the 1400s and brought back giraffes and the Chinese had their qilin unicorns.

--
I said - don't look Ethel!..., but it was too late..., she'd already looked.
1. Re:Chinese unicorns by Anonymous Coward · 2012-12-01 13:05 · Score: 2, Informative
  
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qilin
It was inevitable by Crypto+Gnome · 2012-12-01 11:43 · Score: 2

Ever since Japan discovered NyanCat the North Koreans had to find something (anything) to escalate the coolness arms-race.

--
Visit CryptoGnome in his home.
You think that's bad? by meekg · 2012-12-01 11:47 · Score: 2

I heard some lawmakers in the United States are actively claiming that the world was created 6000 years ago by an old man with a beard, who later went on to bed a Jewish girl and spawn an offspring which ended up being nailed to a tree. Also, talking snakes, burning bushes, and splitting seas. no kidding!
1. Re:You think that's bad? by Errol+backfiring · 2012-12-03 01:48 · Score: 2
  
  Hmm, that reeks of imagination. Are you sure this comes from lawmakers? I mean, that would be unheard of.
  
  --
  Nae king! Nae laird! Nae yurrupiean pressedent! We willna be fooled again!
Re:First Mickey Mouse, Now Unicorns? by TFAFalcon · 2012-12-01 12:28 · Score: 2, Insightful

Well you have to consider that the leader was raised in a country where such propaganda is fairly standard. So he might not realize how ludicrous the claims are. And at the same time the population might also be fooled - not because they are stupid, but because they've been bombarded with such 'official statements' their entire lives.
It's kind of like religion - If you are raised in a culture where it's common to hear about virgin births and people rising from the dead then you won't be shocked when a person makes a claim that one of those things happened. So similar claims (like the before mentioned zombie appearing in a vision) will much more likely be accepted then in a culture without those 'background' myths.
Re:First Mickey Mouse, Now Unicorns? by khallow · 2012-12-01 12:50 · Score: 3, Insightful

And at the same time the population might also be fooled - not because they are stupid, but because they've been bombarded with such 'official statements' their entire lives.
Or because people who don't believe, tend to die badly.
South Koreans see them when drunk by kawabago · 2012-12-01 13:26 · Score: 2

Which is .... always.
Re:First Mickey Mouse, Now Unicorns? by Brett+Buck · 2012-12-01 13:26 · Score: 2

Now they have done it! 5-party negotiations, the world community, that they can ignore. Disney lawyers, however, are not to be trifled with.
Brett
They are the same, for all intensive purposes. by Brannon · 2012-12-01 16:24 · Score: 2

...
What the actual Korean news story said by billstewart · 2012-12-01 18:18 · Score: 4, Informative

IO9's article about what the story's really about. First of all, a Kirin isn't really that much like a unicorn, though it is a mythical beast. But it's really about finding a site related to Tongmyng, ruler of an ancient kingdom in northern Korea, who was symbolized by the Kirin, kind of like calling somebody "The Dragon King" or whatever. There's some question about whether their announcement is more like "we found some cities from Troy / another Mayan pyramid / etc." type of history or more like "We found King Arthur's castle Camelot" sort of national mythology, which would certainly be the kind of thing you'd do when you've got a new Fearless Leader.

--

Bill Stewart
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Fake because.. by BeCre8iv · 2012-12-01 22:51 · Score: 3, Funny

Unicorns are obviously not adapted to live in a lair

--
This perpetual motion machine Lisa made is a joke, it just keeps getting faster and faster. - Homer