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Brain Cells Made From Urine
Press2ToContinue writes "Scientists have found a relatively straightforward way to persuade the cells discarded in human urine to turn into valuable neurons. The technique, described online in a study in Nature Methods this week (abstract), does not involve embryonic stem cells. These come with serious drawbacks when transplanted, such as the risk of developing tumors. Instead, the method uses ordinary cells present in urine, and transforms them into neural progenitor cells — the precursors of brain cells. Researchers routinely reprogram cultured skin and blood cells into induced pluripotent stem cells, which can go on to form any cell in the body. But urine is a much more accessible source."
The future might include pee brains in addition to pea brains.
...of thinking with my penis. Guess who's just got the last laugh now?
Whoa there dude! Check your keyboard, somebody might have slipped you a Dvorak.
Alcohol kills brain cells. Beer makes you pee. Finally, we're close to making this a zero-sum game. Cheers!
Only problem: The brains made of those neurons always feel pissed ...
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
Where "getting pissed" means an injection of new brain cells, not killing the ones you already have.
This sounds wrong. But I'm shuddering to think what step #2 might be
The Cloud - because you don't care if your apps and data are up in the air.
So now brain cells can be free as in beer too...
Excuse me, but please get off my Pennisetum Clandestinum, eh!
Don't joke! It leaves us only an inch away from shit for brains.
I suggest the name "reverse alcohol" for this methodology.
My first program:
Hell Segmentation fault
... ...Thou shall not take of the piss that thou'st passeth after a heavy night at the inn and make of it an addition to thine body, or use it to adorn thyself, or for any medical purpose whatsoever.
42.
43. For the Lord thy God is a fastidious god, and does not like to see people messing around with things that are iccky. Nor does he want to give an opportunity for the unbelievers of Phillistine and Gath to make stupid puns about 'taking the piss'. Thine body is made in the image of the Lord, and if He had wanted you to employ the spillings of thy loins to improve thy brain, he would have made thy member long enough to place in thine ear. Nor yet shall ye retain this water in any kind of receptacle, lest ye be tempted by Satan to do what is unclean, but ye shall cast it out onto unshriven ground, where the dogs may smell it as they please.
44. And Abraham spoke and said unto the Lord: "Lo, thy words are as a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. But what shall our brethren do if they are caught short at a party and cannot reach a station of comfort? Or, as it may be, some of thy handmaidens are already in there and taking their time about coming out?
45. Then the Lord waxed exceeding wroth, and swore at Abraham, saying "Thou dissembler! It is not for the likes of thee to question my instructions! Should you try to catch out the Lord thy God again, thy throat will catch fire, and not one of thy tribe shall be found who may pee in your mouth....
from the third Book of Emissions (Golden Showers edition)..
After the revelation that stuff in semen halts aging, now stuff in piss creates brain cells.
Ladies, here's proof, anything coming out of my dick is good for you!
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
They can turn into almost any other cell so why not. All a tumor is is a bunch of otherwise normal cells gone wacko.
Don't blame me for redundant posts. I can't type very fast. Hence the user ID.
It's okay to point.
Just don't laugh.
No brain, no pain.
Granted, they've only been able to create a Youtube commenter as of yet, but there's still a lot of untapped potential.
Might leave you only one inch away, but for me it's about eight.
Not to step on the joke, but while your feces do have a lot of your cells in them, they're mostly dead cells which would be useless for induced pluripotency. Furthermore, I've heard it's about one third bacteria, so you'd have contamination problems. Urine, on the other hand, is much more sterile and free from bacteria, and it would presumably be much easier to spin down urine and collect living cells than it would be to separate cells out from feces.
Most importantly, the reason they were using urine was not to make brain cells from weird places, they had previously discovered that kidney cells took much less time to turn pluripotent than some other cell types, such as skin cells. I'd assume that colon cells wouldn't have this advantage even if you did isolate them living from poop. And I'm not going to test that hypothesis either...
Samson: (John Cleese) Blood donors that way, please. ...a thing to do some urine in.
Donor: Oh, thank you very much.
Samson: Thank you.
Grimshaw: (Eric Idle) (whispering)
Samson: What?
Grimshaw: (whispering)
Samson: No, no. I'm sorry, but 'no'.
Grimshaw: (whispering)
Samson: No, you may not give urine instead of blood.
Grimshaw: (whispering)
Samson: No. Well, I don't care if you want to.
Grimshaw: (whispering)
Samson: No. There is no such thing as a urine bank.
Grimshaw: Please.
Samson: No. We have no call for it. We've quite enough of it without volunteers coming in here donating it.
Grimshaw: Just a specimen?
Samson: No. We don't want a specimen. We either want your blood or nothing.
Grimshaw: I'll give you some blood if you'll give me...
Samson: What?
Grimshaw:
Samson: No, no. Just go away, please.
Grimshaw: Anyway, I don't want to give you any blood.
Samson: Fine. Well, you don't have to, you see. Just go away.
Grimshaw: Can I give you some spit?
Samson: No.
Grimshaw: Sweat?
Samson: No.
Grimshaw: Ear wax?
Samson: No. Look, this is a blood bank. All we want is blood.
Grimshaw: All right. I'll give you some blood. (produces some blood in a jar)
Samson: Where did you get that?
Grimshaw: Today. It's today's.
Samson: What group is it?
Grimshaw: What groups are there?
Samson: There's 'A',--
Grimshaw: It's 'A'.
Samson: (sniffs blood) Wait a moment. It's mine. This blood is mine! What are you doing with it?
Grimshaw: I found it.
Samson: You found it?! You stole it out of my body, didn't you?
Grimshaw: No.
Samson: No wonder I'm feeling off-colour. (drinks from bottle, Grimshaw takes it from his hands) Give that back!
Grimshaw: It's mine.
Samson: It's not yours. You stole it.
Grimshaw: Never.
Samson: Give it back to me.
Grimshaw: All right...but only if I can give urine.
Samson: Get in the queue...
"Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff."
- Deep Thought