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The Empire Writes Back About the Failed Death Star Petition
It appears that it isn't just fans who took notice of the failed White House petition to build a Death Star. Star Wars Blog has an official response from the Galactic Empire which reads in part: "IMPERIAL CENTER, CORUSCANT – The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again by the recent announcement by the President of the United States that his nation would not attempt to build a Death Star, despite the bellicose demands of the people of his tiny, aggressive planet. 'It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire,' said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. 'Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.'”
This entry was posted on January 15, 2013 at 9:00 am and is filed under In Pop Culture.
Should be refiled under Imperial Politics, Interstellar News, Diplomacy, or something similar.
Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
The Emperor doesn't have a Term Limit.
What are the key differences between Bush, Obama and Palpatine?
Space-time coordinates.
Palpatine wields the power of the Force. The others are just sociopathic assholes with normal human abilities.
This is one of the stupidest stories I have read; not even worthy of slightly retarded 12 years olds.
Goddammit. My mod points expired a few minutes ago ;-)
By executive order, I authorize that construction begin immediately on a Death Star!!
By executive order, all personal property and assets are now the property of the Empire, and these assets shall be used to build this Death Star.
So, too sophisticated for about 50% of the Slashdot audience then.
While it's fun to pretend, most of us know that this really isn't an official response from the Empire, since the Empire is a fictional organization. What it is is a single post from a single blogger.
Why is Slashdot running an article which consists of "this one blogger posted a message on a blog about some geeky topic"?
Don't worry, I got this!
Other than it was long ago and far away. A couple Star War stars have the same names as our stars.
The problem is not the power its the web of contracting associated with a project of such magnitude. See all the contractors know who its for and know the risk involved so they pass on bidding on the project.
Oh look, another dumbass who doesn't know that congress is responsible for the "budget".
Oh look, another dumbass who doesn't know that Palpatine dissolved the congress so he is infact responsible for the "budget".
"The Imperial Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I've just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away."
-Wilhuff Tarkin
Did you just say that a Sith Lord knew how to balance?
First of all, the man hasn't strayed from a solid black ensemble in 40 years. Then there's the whole argument for physical balance - if I had a nickle for every time I saw a Sith (minus Maul, his balance was impeccable) wobble, fall or hell - fail to decide to attack anddefend in a fight... Then there's that whole thing where they lean completely to one side of the force which I don't think I have to tell you...
You know what? I need to balance myself. Before I get nerd-uppity on the internet about the finer points of galactic budgets, saber fighting techniques and personal dispositions of fictional characters I'm going to go kiss my girlfriend.
...he probably knew how to balance the budget.
Doubtful. Not only was the Death Star a huge budgetary drain, but he blew away a whole planet of taxpayers, causing a further drain on the Galactic Economy.
Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
Actually, it was a long time ago.
If you can't convince them, convict them.
The Empire's Death Star qualifies under new Executive Orders issued today by the White House as an assult weapon. As such Grand Moff Tarkin is required to surrender possession within mandated timeframes and confirm registration on all other non-qualifying items in the Imperial armory. W. Tarkin and Anakin Skywalker aka D.Vader must also submit to a Universal Background Check.
We should have started on a few Star Destroyer's first! Conquer some neighboring planets and get them to build the Death Star for us.
I've never understood it.
Now you kids get the hell off of his lawn!
Python: 'And then suddenly you have a language which says "we're all stuck with whatever the whiniest coder wants".'
since the President doesn't have that power to begin with.
Why?
Cause his birth certificate does not mention his midi-chlorian count?
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
That's a terrible age to be a grumpy old man.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Palpatine was involved in fewer wars?