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The Science of Hugo Chavez's Long Term Embalming
Hugh Pickens writes writes "Discover Magazine reports that Hugo Chavez will apparently get an embalming job designed to keep him looking alive for decades similar to that of Russia's Vladimir Lenin, whose body still lies in a mausoleum in Moscow's Red Square, nearly 90 years after his death. So how do you preserve a human body for decades without it turning into a pile of melted tissue? First, get to work quickly. Upon death, the human body starts decomposing immediately. The way to stop it is with formaldehyde, a preservative used for the past century, which inhibits the enzyme decomposition as well as killing bacteria. 'You pump the chemical in, and as the formaldehyde hits the cells of the body, it firms up the protein of the cell, or fixates it,' says Vernie Fountain, head of the Fountain National Academy of Professional Embalming Skills in Springfield, Mo. 'That's what makes them stiff.' With a body that will have to be on display for years, it's likely to require a top-shelf, super-strong solution. 'If I were doing Hugo Chavez, I would strengthen the solution and use more preservative product,' says Fountain. Next, get a good moisturizer. Formaldehyde preserves, but it also dries out the body. Vaseline or other moisturizers can preserve the look of skin, according to Melissa Johnson Williams, executive director of the American Society of Embalmers. Finally keep cool. Heat decomposes a body so for long term preservation, the body has to be kept at the temperature of a standard kitchen refrigerator, somewhere in the mid-40s. Lastly, if Venezuelans really want to keep Hugo Chavez around forever, like many other world figures, there's only one solution that works, according to Fountain. 'The best form of preservation is mummification.'"
If they could pull it off, he would still be "alive" today.
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
They should really look into plastination.
The whole process is specifically designed to put dead people on display.
Or be a saint, blessed with incorruptibility.
Does it have to be one or the other?
Look for Democrats to do something similar for THEIR communist hero when Obama dies of old age, still in office, 30 years from now.
THL phish sticks
"the body has to be kept at the temperature of a standard kitchen refrigerator, somewhere in the mid-40s."
No, store it at 27 degrees F which is -2.78 degrees C if you want to keep the meat fresh, not frozen and stop microbial action.
This is the temperature that we store fresh meat at. It is below standard refrigerator temperatures. Meat freezes at 25ÂF which is below the freezing point of water because of the salts in the blood and cellular fluid. A lot of research has been done on this - initially regarding the storage of fish for Norway's trawlers and later for the storage of pork.
For the absolute best results adjust this freezing temperature to account for the preservative solution which will likely change the freeze point downward - then stay just above that point of freezing for the meat.
There is a lot of science behind this in the meat industry that could be applied to Hugo.
But I highly doubt they're going to be able to do this properly.
I doubt their embalming job would last a year.
They just don't strike me as the kind of people who can pull it off.
Check out the web site for "Fountain National Academy of Professional Embalming Skills". If these guys do embalming with the same professionalism they utilize with web site creation, they'd get better results if they stuck Chavez in a blender.
Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
Does wonders for produce by killing the living heck out of bacteria... Not sure if there would be 'harmful' side effects though.
And gave it away to the likes of Cuba and Bolivia and Iran for influence, while the citizens who elected Hugo Chavez received no benefit and the petro industry in Venezuela degraded due to lack of upgrades.
That word, I don't think it means what you think it means...
Until the current "left wing" populist government falls will suffice. The "Right" will promptly bury him. Then when the revolution comes again the "Left" can dig him up and put him back on display, nicely (or nastily) mummified.
Perhaps they should build a pyramid...
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
In high school the essay Behind the Formaldehyde Curtain made a big impression on me; embalming was described as really creepy and artificial, which I suppose it is in any instance, but do they really need to circulate three to six gallons of dyed and perfumed solution of formaldehyde, glycerin, borax, phenol, alcohol and water through the stiff? It was much like when I found out that "milk" on the breakfast cereal on TV was actually glue. We're being scammed! Sort of.
Dumping all that junk into the ground doesn't seem very good for the environment, either - I imagine in the years since (late 60s) the essay was published a bit of attention has been paid to making embalming a bit less toxic - or was that not an issue in the first place? At any rate, cremation for me, thank you - although after losing both parents I've found out that isn't cheap, either.
They are asking Russians to do it, so Chaves will be ok :)
I would love to live in a world where all presidents or whatever called heads of a state are embalmed and stored in a mausoleums for the amusement of the next generations.
And he looked plastic/waxy to me. So he may be preserved .. but lifelike only goes so far.
I am Slashdot. Are you Slashdot as well?
Just like I was rooting for the cancer, I'll be rooting for the bacteria.
Just make a really good wax head and a fake body, like Madame Tusseau's. Seal the fake up in a thick glass coffin and who will be able to tell the difference?
I'm up to single malt whiskey now and plan to switch to Everclear by my 70s. If I drop in my 80s they should be able to prop my corpse in the corner and use it as a coat rack.
http://www.bodyworlds.com/en/plastination/idea_plastination.html
> They are asking Russians to do it, so Chaves will be ok :)
He's dead, Jim.
"Freedom Through Vigilance"
They are asking Russians to do it, so Chaves will be ok :)
I would love to live in a world where all presidents or whatever called heads of a state are embalmed and stored in a mausoleums for the amusement of the next generations.
What somewhat surprises me is that they don't get the wacky plastination guy in on the project. The actual product isn't really a preserved body in any useful sense(as the name suggests, the original tissue is largely replaced by polymers); but the replacement occurs down to impressively tiny details, the results look fantastic, and they last nobody-knows-how-long-but-a-long-time under normal indoor conditions.
I've been lucky enough to have travelled around the world, including Moscow and Peking.
Never felt the need to visit the chemically-preserved remains of "great" men there.
Can anybody please cite me a truly humane, visionary leader who was embalmed in modern times, for public display?
How about "despots"?
Candidates should include Tito and Ataturk?
Nope, not one. They did not need it, and neither did the population they left behind.
I was wondering about the same thing. Gunther von Hagens (or Liebchen if you like) has a very nice and apparently working method of getting corpses preserved. Also he does it in such a way that people can learn from this. ;-)
My suggestion; only leave the skin so people can have a good look inside on how 'red' he actually was
Besides, I think that he doesn't really fit in with men like Mao and Lenin who actually got stuff done. He was anti-american, but that's about it, he didnt really do any paradigm-shifting stuff IMHO.
How low can Hugo?
rm -rf --no-preserve-root /
After they have him stuffed they fit him with animatronics so he'll jump up every so often to scare the shit out of tourists.
Did you know 80 to 90% of the moderators on slashdot wouldn't recognize a troll even if one dragged them under a bridge.
P.S.
Maybe this is the reason he is not doing the plastination:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/06/world/europe/06corpses.html?_r=0
<Quote> But Mr. Hagens, who turns 66 on Jan. 10, has told the German tabloid Bild that he is suffering from Parkinson’s disease and that his wife 'will plastinate my body,' and 'my plastinated corpse will then stand in a welcoming pose at the entrance of my exhibition.' A man who has always loved publicity and controversy, Mr. Hagens gave no indication of how long he expected to live, but typically patients with Parkinson’s, a degenerative disorder of the central nervous system, live for years after a diagnosis. </quote>
rm -rf --no-preserve-root /
No, Lenin's body is still on display. I checked Wikipedia and you're thinking of Klement Gottwald (Czechoslovakia).
link.
"First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
Yes, but the more accurate "fascist" has too many negative connotations to be acceptable.
The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted. James Madison
They can not do the plastination.... A while ago chavez expeled the "Bodies revealed" expo from venezuela, and denounced it as inmoral.
Embalming him using that procedure would be an about face that his supporters could not aford...
*** Suerte a todos y Feliz dia!
No, I don't think so.
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
Of course, we could find that Venezuela has been developing zombie technology, and he could hang around undead for a while.
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
Taxidermy!
Ironically, in 2009 Chavez ordered to confiscate one of these body exhibitions that was on tour in Caracas, because he said it was immoral to put unsepulchered bodies on display.
http://news.sky.com/story/676071/chavez-blocks-venezuela-dead-body-art-show
In case you understand Spanish, you can hear it from the man himself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2MfLT-U2qo
Make sure he's dead
*BANG!*
Okay, now what?
“He’s not deformed, he’s just drunk!”
Write to Congress, a few of them people there look like they already perfected the art.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
I was thinking the same. If they need a fridge to get it to the mid-40s, Venezuela is a hotter place than I originally thought.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
The only reason capitalists are more efficient at redistributing money is simple self interest. If I redistribute everything to myself, well, DUH, of course I strive for efficiency!
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
This rises a question: how to model our economics from now on? After all, socialism failed. So did capitalism. So is there any model that gives Joe Average a reasonable standard of living - including financial security - and doesn't result in economic meltdowns every few years?
Forget magic. Any technology distinguishable from divine power is insufficiently advanced.
Nice
When Fascism comes to America, it will call itself Anti-Fascism, and tell you to give up your guns.
As opposed to "communist", which has nothing but warm fuzzy connotations? But yeah, Obamacare is fascism, straight up. Forcing citizenry to buy junk products from a bloodsucking industry...and there's that whole continuation of the Unitary Executive thing....
A while ago chavez expeled the "Bodies revealed" expo from venezuela, and denounced it as inmoral.
If that was about the time when the reports came out that the bodies were those of executed Chinese political prisoners then maybe he wasn't so crazy. This one time.
My God, it's Full of Source!
OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)
Yeah, also just keep the heads, they are of the most interest anyway. I feel like there is futurama joke hidden here somewhere, but I can't find it.
May Peace Prevail On Earth
Formaldehyde is a gas a room temperature. The substance used in labs and embalming is formalin, a room temperature liquid of water and formaldehyde.
For a geek site, you should get these sort of things right to start with.
Article X: The powers not delegated... by the Constitution...are reserved...to the people
It always fascinates me to think that guy can get any viewership at all for his show. Why do people watch it? What do they get out of it? I don't understand.
"First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
His most ardent followers are downright fanatical. For everyone else, like or not the guy was the epicenter of the government and many announcements were made amid his endless prattle. Supporters were expecting new handouts, and detractors feared new expropriations, threats and draconian abuse of power. I knew that I'd have a full report on the web the day after, tops.
This post contains no rudeness or derision of any kind. All arguments are friendly. Terms and exclusions may apply.
In a perfect world - no waiting, but I'm unsure how it could work. But at least I would like to see all the previous deceased rulers of my country from Lenin to Yeltsin - why not? They were going in this direction - at first they did put Stalin in mausoleum, but then Khrushev spoiled everything - buried Stalin and stopped this awesome tradition. Pity. Mummified corpses are fun and profit!
Sorry to tell you this, but now that Jesse and Strom are gone, that joke is, too.
Il n'y a pas de Planet B.
I visited Stallman's site to see what he had to say on the passing of his comrade Chavez, and it didn't disappoint. But what he cited was a hoot - blaming Venezuela for global warming, er, heating, due to them exporting their oil.
Only problem - Chavez too needed money, and Stallman never explained to him how he too could be better off by ending Venezuela's oil exports and selling free, sorry, libre software instead. Now, if only Stallman could put together an online petition suggesting that Chavez's body be made available for necrophilia - Stallman's own #2 choice after scientific experimentation.
Well, it certainly looks like it's been in the same form for a long time, so I'd say we have a winner.
Karnal
Have gnu, will travel.
How much of 'Lenin's body' is now wax? By total weight and surface area please.
They're not saying. A assume the numbers are something like 30%/100%
John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
You seem to be forgetting at the very least the venerable Senator Orrin Hatch, whose only necessary campaign slogan is 'experience'. Indeed I wouldn't trust anyone with any less experience to take so many campaign contributions from lobbyists.
Fascism should more properly be called corporatism because it is the merger of state and corporate power. -- Mussolini
The conspiracy theory is that Lenin's body was replaced by a wax statue once it started to deteriorate. Wouldn't be that surprising to be honest, the bolsheviks have lied about bigger things.
I saw BodyWorlds in 1999. I learned more human anatomy during that two hours than I had in all of my life to that time.
The art pieces are a bit freaky, but they also have several exploded-view (think engineering drawings) versions of human bodies, with the organs all clearly in their original shape, showing clearly how everything fit together.
They also prepare and sell individual organs/parts that are plastinated to medical schools/colleges. These last far longer and are more tactile than formaldehyde-preserved jars of guts. it saves money.
You can look to many parts of Europe for just that - security, prosperity, great quality of life, and so on. But that's socialism, which clearly doesn't work.
They want a result that will last for decades to a century. "Plastination" has only a couple of decades of proven track record. It may well have good potential to last a lot longer, but that isn't the same as having a record.
Given that, I'd stick with the best of proven techniques for conventional embalming (including literally getting him into the fridge while he's still warm, to stop him being warm). You're not going to get a second chance with "Plastination" (capitalised, as IIRC it's a trademark), but repair techniques with conventional embalming have been in work for decades, so you do have second chances. By the time that Hagen's children (if he bothered to have any ; cousins otherwise) are dead, if the first Plastination specimens are still in good condition, then you could realistically consider the technique for preserving a body to last for 2+ generations, after which it really is of academic interest only.
Oh, doesn't Plastination involve continuously soaking the body in a vat for months? While most of embalming can be done by pumping a new batch of formaldehyde into the blood stream (and guts, surely?) during the night, and letting it soak into the stiff through a day on the podium? That would make a big difference too.
Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"
There are many people who are not aware that communists are historically greater mass-murderers than fascists. Many people associate fascists with evil and communists with good intentions (when in fact, communists have historically been at least as evil as fascists).
The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted. James Madison
lol no clue if you are serious, but I was talking about Chavez, not bodyworlds. I can understand why people see BodyWorlds for sure!
"First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."