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The Science of Hugo Chavez's Long Term Embalming
Hugh Pickens writes writes "Discover Magazine reports that Hugo Chavez will apparently get an embalming job designed to keep him looking alive for decades similar to that of Russia's Vladimir Lenin, whose body still lies in a mausoleum in Moscow's Red Square, nearly 90 years after his death. So how do you preserve a human body for decades without it turning into a pile of melted tissue? First, get to work quickly. Upon death, the human body starts decomposing immediately. The way to stop it is with formaldehyde, a preservative used for the past century, which inhibits the enzyme decomposition as well as killing bacteria. 'You pump the chemical in, and as the formaldehyde hits the cells of the body, it firms up the protein of the cell, or fixates it,' says Vernie Fountain, head of the Fountain National Academy of Professional Embalming Skills in Springfield, Mo. 'That's what makes them stiff.' With a body that will have to be on display for years, it's likely to require a top-shelf, super-strong solution. 'If I were doing Hugo Chavez, I would strengthen the solution and use more preservative product,' says Fountain. Next, get a good moisturizer. Formaldehyde preserves, but it also dries out the body. Vaseline or other moisturizers can preserve the look of skin, according to Melissa Johnson Williams, executive director of the American Society of Embalmers. Finally keep cool. Heat decomposes a body so for long term preservation, the body has to be kept at the temperature of a standard kitchen refrigerator, somewhere in the mid-40s. Lastly, if Venezuelans really want to keep Hugo Chavez around forever, like many other world figures, there's only one solution that works, according to Fountain. 'The best form of preservation is mummification.'"
The controversy surrounding President Roosevelt's possible pact with Fox News was largely dismissed as a conspiracy -- until Pearl Harbor happened, confirming our worst fears with the deaths of thousands of Americans.
I know that many people have a hard time believing this, but please, look at the facts.
Our government officials are working to pass legislation which would classify innocent protests against cocaine as acts of terrorism-- and Fox News's lobbyists are deeply involved in this campaign.
Ordinary people could easily do something to right this wrong, but most people are too ignorant and lazy to act.
For years, the US military has been building secret bases under the sea and beneath ocean trenches. Since the war in Iraq, these sites have been used for drone pilot training, and for stockpiling cocaine.
Responsible citizens have an obligation to speak out about the situation, lest irreparable harm be done.
But I highly doubt they're going to be able to do this properly.
I doubt their embalming job would last a year.
They just don't strike me as the kind of people who can pull it off.
We're famous for something!
Red/blue political mud wrestling match coming 3... 2... 1...
They should really look into plastination.
The whole process is specifically designed to put dead people on display.
Why do we preserve the turds or our species?
Sounds like it's broken.
Or be a saint, blessed with incorruptibility.
"the body has to be kept at the temperature of a standard kitchen refrigerator, somewhere in the mid-40s."
No, store it at 27 degrees F which is -2.78 degrees C if you want to keep the meat fresh, not frozen and stop microbial action.
This is the temperature that we store fresh meat at. It is below standard refrigerator temperatures. Meat freezes at 25ÂF which is below the freezing point of water because of the salts in the blood and cellular fluid. A lot of research has been done on this - initially regarding the storage of fish for Norway's trawlers and later for the storage of pork.
For the absolute best results adjust this freezing temperature to account for the preservative solution which will likely change the freeze point downward - then stay just above that point of freezing for the meat.
There is a lot of science behind this in the meat industry that could be applied to Hugo.
kinda hot
then slice thinly on the bias
serve over wilted lettuce
"So how do you preserve a human body for decades without it turning into a pile of melted tissue?"
Botox!
Does wonders for produce by killing the living heck out of bacteria... Not sure if there would be 'harmful' side effects though.
And gave it away to the likes of Cuba and Bolivia and Iran for influence, while the citizens who elected Hugo Chavez received no benefit and the petro industry in Venezuela degraded due to lack of upgrades.
How are they planning to preserve his massive ego?
Until the current "left wing" populist government falls will suffice. The "Right" will promptly bury him. Then when the revolution comes again the "Left" can dig him up and put him back on display, nicely (or nastily) mummified.
Perhaps they should build a pyramid...
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
In high school the essay Behind the Formaldehyde Curtain made a big impression on me; embalming was described as really creepy and artificial, which I suppose it is in any instance, but do they really need to circulate three to six gallons of dyed and perfumed solution of formaldehyde, glycerin, borax, phenol, alcohol and water through the stiff? It was much like when I found out that "milk" on the breakfast cereal on TV was actually glue. We're being scammed! Sort of.
Dumping all that junk into the ground doesn't seem very good for the environment, either - I imagine in the years since (late 60s) the essay was published a bit of attention has been paid to making embalming a bit less toxic - or was that not an issue in the first place? At any rate, cremation for me, thank you - although after losing both parents I've found out that isn't cheap, either.
And he looked plastic/waxy to me. So he may be preserved .. but lifelike only goes so far.
I am Slashdot. Are you Slashdot as well?
Just like I was rooting for the cancer, I'll be rooting for the bacteria.
Just make a really good wax head and a fake body, like Madame Tusseau's. Seal the fake up in a thick glass coffin and who will be able to tell the difference?
I'm up to single malt whiskey now and plan to switch to Everclear by my 70s. If I drop in my 80s they should be able to prop my corpse in the corner and use it as a coat rack.
http://www.bodyworlds.com/en/plastination/idea_plastination.html
I've been lucky enough to have travelled around the world, including Moscow and Peking.
Never felt the need to visit the chemically-preserved remains of "great" men there.
Can anybody please cite me a truly humane, visionary leader who was embalmed in modern times, for public display?
How about "despots"?
Candidates should include Tito and Ataturk?
Nope, not one. They did not need it, and neither did the population they left behind.
After they have him stuffed they fit him with animatronics so he'll jump up every so often to scare the shit out of tourists.
Did you know 80 to 90% of the moderators on slashdot wouldn't recognize a troll even if one dragged them under a bridge.
I tell you...
No, I don't think so.
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
Of course, we could find that Venezuela has been developing zombie technology, and he could hang around undead for a while.
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
Taxidermy!
http://www.djmorton.demon.co.uk/scouting/songs/embalming.htm
He'll probably crave for brains, never having had any in his life. I mean, he was damn inefficient at redistributing money - like all socialists.
Make sure he's dead
*BANG!*
Okay, now what?
“He’s not deformed, he’s just drunk!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6S5amkCoyc&list=UU6nSFpj9HTCZ5t-N3Rm3-HA
They should look into canning him and serving up to a pack of starving dogs in the barrios of Caracas.
Write to Congress, a few of them people there look like they already perfected the art.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
I was thinking the same. If they need a fridge to get it to the mid-40s, Venezuela is a hotter place than I originally thought.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
There is another word that you should know.
Formaldehyde is a gas a room temperature. The substance used in labs and embalming is formalin, a room temperature liquid of water and formaldehyde.
For a geek site, you should get these sort of things right to start with.
Article X: The powers not delegated... by the Constitution...are reserved...to the people
Sorry to tell you this, but now that Jesse and Strom are gone, that joke is, too.
Il n'y a pas de Planet B.
I visited Stallman's site to see what he had to say on the passing of his comrade Chavez, and it didn't disappoint. But what he cited was a hoot - blaming Venezuela for global warming, er, heating, due to them exporting their oil.
Only problem - Chavez too needed money, and Stallman never explained to him how he too could be better off by ending Venezuela's oil exports and selling free, sorry, libre software instead. Now, if only Stallman could put together an online petition suggesting that Chavez's body be made available for necrophilia - Stallman's own #2 choice after scientific experimentation.
Have gnu, will travel.
dictator, wanting to preserve the myth of his life, to keep the cult status alive. Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Kim Jung, Chavez, and soon Castro. Failed "leaders" who have to keep their people under lock & key (or a wall), only allow the information out that they want, then when they die, they want to keep the myth alive.
You seem to be forgetting at the very least the venerable Senator Orrin Hatch, whose only necessary campaign slogan is 'experience'. Indeed I wouldn't trust anyone with any less experience to take so many campaign contributions from lobbyists.
Fascism should more properly be called corporatism because it is the merger of state and corporate power. -- Mussolini