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North Korea Declares a State of War
paysonwelch writes "North Korea has declared a state of war against South Korea, stating that neither peace nor war has ended. Quoting the news release via Reuters: '1. From this moment, the north-south relations will be put at the state of war and all the issues arousing between the north and the south will be dealt with according to the wartime regulations.' The DPRK goes on to say that this will be a 'blitz' war and that they will regain control of the south, and destroy U.S. bases in the process."
Great line from the declaration: "[The U.S.] should clearly know that in the era of Marshal Kim Jong Un, the greatest-ever commander, all things are different from what they used to be in the past." A senior U.S. official called this statement "pot-banging and chest-thumping." The official said, "North Korea is in a mindset of war, but North Korea is not going to war."
I for one welcome our glorious new Democratic overlords.
I have to agree that Marshal Kim Jong Un is the greatest-ever commander...after all, most commanders have lost lives, while Kim Jong Un hasn't lost any lives, or even a single battle. What US commander in chief could say that?
Now, if he actually does have his people go to battle, I'd change my opinion, and call him an egomanical turd.
Suddenly, Zergling rush!
My first program:
Hell Segmentation fault
Even OJ Simpson was quoted as saying, "Cool it, Kim. You should ratchet things down by looking for the real killers who sunk that South Korean destroyer."
It's Schrodinger's war: neither peace nor war has ended
They're just threatening to open the box and have a look.
Nobody really wants a nuclear war in Asia.
Nobody?
"His name was James Damore."
I can see prices of Android tablets skyrocketing.
Apple must be behind all this.
You should check out my collection of Pogs.
Patience is a virtue, but haste is my life.
I wonder what would happen if the US used a stealth bomber to drop a 500 lb. bag of candy on Kim's house, just to make the point that we can drop anything on him at any time. Just a reminder that he lives precisely as long as Obama chooses to allow. Maybe follow it up with dropping a few thousand teddy bears on major population centers.
This is not how you conduct a blitz.
Troll is not a replacement for I disagree.
but they have weapons and personell in quantity
Half of them are photoshopped, though.
So... during all this falderall, we get to see a lot of photos of Young Dear Leader surrounded by elderly men in military uniforms with ridiculously large hats, pointing dramatically this way and that. Occasionally you get a side view of Dear Leader and... all I can think of is MAN he's fat. Looks like close to 300 pounds. They try to disguise it with clothes and camera angles but there's no denying that he is a Big Boy. Maybe we should just send truckloads of Cinnabuns and wait for the inevitable?
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
I'm pretty sure we've always been at war with East Asi....uh.....North Korea.
not technically true, Chuck ass-whoops the laws of physics until they obey him
Or, you know, try to escape to Japanese disneyland like his brother did...
They're close to losing control over their own country, either because the population is rising up (unlikely here) or because they're out of resources because they've built a state system filled with people used to divert state resources to personal ends (very likely the case here).
This won't end well, as it will force China and the US into a confrontation when the cleanup happens.
I'm lost... Why are you calling the U.S. a communist dictatorship?
Upward mobility is a slippery slope - the higher you climb the more you show your ass.
Pics, or it didn't happen.
Don't quote me on this.
Never.
Those were the cover-stories, to get parents to donate their children, instead of resist.
You HAVE been brainwashed.
"Flyin' in just a sweet place,
Never been known to fail..."