The Latest Security Vulnerability: Your Toilet

NobleSavage writes "We all knew it was just a matter of time. With the rush to put more and more appliances on-line Japanese toilet-maker Satis, one of Japan's largest commode companies, has finally networked the toilet. Just as you would have predicted, the information security company Trustwave Holdings has published an advisory regarding Satis-brand toilets. According to Trustwave, every Satis toilet has the same hard-coded Bluetooth PIN, which means any person using the 'My Satis' [Android] application can control any Satis toilet."

Comments

obligatory

[kcmastrpc]

oh shit!

Re:obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

The security of that thing is down the drain.

Re:obligatory

[Jetra]

I heard of crapware, but this takes the cake.

Re:obligatory

[c0lo]

oh shit!

Business opportunities:
* security suite for crapware
* cyber insurance
* ultimately, government intervention for "Too big to FALL" cases. Bonus points for TSA "pat down" and FBI infiltration. Careful with whistle-blowers though, the fan is on.

Re:obligatory

[thinkingrodent]

crapcake.

Re:obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

No, you're mistaken. The urinal takes the cake.

Re:obligatory

[Jane Q. Public]

Does this mean you can now go phishing in the toilets?

Re:obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

* ultimately, government intervention for "Too big to FLUSH" cases. Bonus points for TSA "pat down" and FBI infiltration [slashdot.org]. Careful with whistle-blowers though, the fan is on.

^ FTFY

Re:obligatory

[mjwx]

If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, DNS flush it down.

Re:obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

"I Pee" spoofing at its worst. And imagine the kernel dumps if you run the Korn shell.

Re:obligatory

[countach74]

This clearly makes it even more important to wear one's toilet safety belt.

Re:obligatory

[Redmancometh]

I don't like the idea of expkoiting but remotelt activating someone's bidet sounds...amazing

Re:obligatory

[blackpaw]

Sounds like a job for Nortons.

Re:obligatory

[Megane]

Honestly, I was expecting something like Google TISP. Because that's one "pipe" coming into your house that you don't need to drill a hole in the wall for! After all, it's all just a series of tubes, right?

But seeing as how it isn't about Google, now I'm feeling down in the dumps. This is a pretty crappy development, if you accept TFA in toto. Or maybe they're just taking the piss.

Re:obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

If it's brown, DNS flush it down.

That explains why all those squirting Zunes never Played for Sure...

Re:obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes....This is the year of Linux in the toilet!

Re:obligatory

[AmiMoJo]

Quite possible, a lot of these devices run a small embedded Linux kernel on an ARM processor. On the other hand it might just be a Bluetooth UART connected to a microcontroller.

Re:obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

And a raincoat!

Re:obligatory

[Fjandr]

Yes, just as long as you're not going spear phishing. That will void the warranty.

Re:obligatory

[antdude]

"The cake is a lie."

Re:obligatory

[Opportunist]

Dude, I'd already be happy if it does NOT run.

Re:obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

I think you meant to say, "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of those!"

Re:obligatory

[lxs]

I hope you're not poo-poohing this serious problem.

As general Melchett put it:
You know, if there's one thing I've learnt from being in the Army, it's never ignore a pooh-pooh. I knew a Major, who got pooh-poohed, made the mistake of ignoring the pooh-pooh. He pooh-poohed it! Fatal error! 'Cos it turned out all along that the soldier who pooh-poohed him had been pooh-poohing a lot of other officers who pooh-poohed their pooh-poohs. In the end, we had to disband the regiment. Morale totally destroyed... by pooh-pooh!

Re:obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

All at once there was the sounds of one thousand toilets flushing in unison.

Re: obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

Followed by a gurgling scream from the bloke in the ground-floor bathroom...

Re:obligatory

[Redmancometh]

How is this flame bait? Who wouldn't want to remotely exploit a toilet and use someone's bidet to make them incredibly uncomfortable? Suck an entire bag of dicks, and they have to cum.

"We all new"

[Anonymous Coward]

I stopped reading right there.

Re:"We all new"

[ls671]

We're all new, it was just a matter of time.

Here, fixed it.

I am glad the new age finally begins.

Re:"We all new"

[agm]

Indeed. Are any articles reviewed before being posted? It would appear not - either that or neither the poster nor the reviewer can speak the good England.

Re:"We all new"

[Fjandr]

Samzenpus was just taking the piss.

Re:"We all new"

[Tablizer]

All your bases are belong in us

Kernel Dump

[Anonymous Coward]

Brings new meaning to "Kernel Dump"

Re:Kernel Dump

[Dunbal]

Even if you swear you didn't eat corn...

Re:Kernel Dump

[logyro]

Brings new meaning to "Kernel Dump"

as well as stack overflow

Did you bidet?

[Anonymous Coward]

Thousands of people in Japan are getting hot water sprayed up their asses right now. In other news, some Japanese toilets can be hacked.

Re:Did you bidet?

[ebno-10db]

Thousands of people in Japan are getting hot water sprayed up their asses right now.

Do they consider that desirable or undesirable? Japanese culture has always been a bit difficult for me to understand.

Re: Did you bidet?

[Anonymous Coward]

Bidets are common in a lot of places. They keep your ass far cleaner than wiping.

Re:Did you bidet?

[TheSeatOfMyPants]

Thousands of people in Japan are getting hot water sprayed up their asses right now.

Do they consider that desirable or undesirable? Japanese culture has always been a bit difficult for me to understand.

Well, *up* the ass wouldn't be, but *on* the ass would be desirable (if it's not too hot) since it's the expected function of a bidet. (I've never used or even seen one, all I did was read the Wikipedia article.)

Re: Did you bidet?

[TheSeatOfMyPants]

Not if you know how to wipe properly & have decent TP. The benefit in bidets is that they avoid the risk of getting germs on your hands; most people that grew up using TP know how to use it to get their butts completely clean under normal circumstances.

Re: Did you bidet?

[Anonymous Coward]

Please give me tips. Personally, I think I would save a fortune on toilet paper; Shit smears and I have a hairy ass too. I don't want shit stains, and yes I dampen the toilet paper before wiping, and alternate with dry, but I end up with haemorrhoids and bleeding from the amount of wiping it takes sometimes. No, it's not from straining to take a shit, I eat enough fiber and it comes out easily. I also use the squatting method mostly to put less strain on my body... (enough straining and you won't be able to control your bowels when you're older, and over time it makes it that much harder to shit as well).

Parents in the west don't really teach their kids how to wipe, they just teach them how to sit on the toilet. I'd really like to hear your tips on how to do this the proper way.

Re: Did you bidet?

[Anonymous Coward]

You have to subscribe to my newsletter to get that information.

Re: Did you bidet?

[Anonymous Coward]

also. there is soap and warm water...

Re: Did you bidet?

[Anonymous Coward]

Sounds like you really need a Japanese toilet seat.
You don't have to replace the whole toilet, if the size is right, you can just replace the seat and lid. You need a power outlet though.

I own one of these things, and using toilet paper would make me feel like a caveman.

Re: Did you bidet?

[qbast]

What do you do if a bird craps on your head?
1) Wash your hair
2) Smear the shit around with piece of paper

Re: Did you bidet?

[captain_dope_pants]

Bidets are like royalty. Nobody quite knows what they're for but they do give a touch of class to a room if they're in it.

Re: Did you bidet?

[tapi0]

You have to subscribe to my newsletter to get that information.

let me guess, it just says "wipe here"?

Re: Did you bidet?

[Anonymous Coward]

Thanks, I think I will get one, I've actually been putting money aside for it. Did you import yours or get it locally somehow?

Re: Did you bidet?

[adolf]

If the options are:

1) Immediately stop what I'm doing, find a place wash my hair, wash it, dry it, brush it, and make it look decent
2) Smear the shit around with a piece of paper

I'll probably just smear the shit around with a piece of paper, thanks. I'll get a large percentage of it out immediately, and take care of the rest when a shower is more convenient.

And I'll tell you what I'm not going to do: I'm not going to rinse my head off in a bidet.

Re:Did you bidet?

[Anonymous Coward]

As someone that has been to Japan, it is very desirable.

Think of it this way. If you had tripped and your hands landed in a pile of dog poop, would you be satisfied if someone handed you a paper towel to clean up with? No, I suspect you would get to the sink and wash with hot water and soap.

Modding...

[Anonymous Coward]

Cannot wait for the modding community to start their work.

rly?

[Anonymous Coward]

Great the way Trustwave publishes that they missed the point these things were designed to be as simple as possible.

Re:rly?

[icebike]

Great the way Trustwave publishes that they missed the point these things were designed to be as simple as possible.

As "simple as possible" would be to leave the bluetooth OUT of the commode.

We've had flush toilets (of one form or another) since the 31st century BC.
None of my electronic devices need to communicate with my toilet. They pretty much live in fear of that dam thing.

Re:rly?

[Beardo the Bearded]

I don't take electronics into the bathroom at all.

*ploop*

That's the sound of having to get a new phone.

Re:rly?

[Anonymous Coward]

They pretty much live in fear of that dam thing.

If your toilet is damming up that much, you should reconsider your diet.

Re:rly?

[icebike]

Either that or stop dropping phones in it.

Re:rly?

[ubersoldat2k7]

Everything is better with bluetooth http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61a0qHFcQE4

Re:rly?

[Remus Shepherd]

We've had flush toilets (of one form or another) since the 31st century BC.

I know this is meant to be humorous, but the flush toilet was invented in the 1800s. It's recent technology -- about as old as the motorcar. It was inevitable that it would get the benefits of electronics...although I can't see what benefit is gained by wiring up a toilet.

I think we've gotten to the point where we put electronics into things just for the hell of it.

Re:rly?

[asylumx]

None of my electronic devices need to communicate with my toilet. They pretty much live in fear of that dam thing.

We all live in fear of beings we can't communicate with. Maybe this is the first step to bridging the gap.

Re:rly?

[burne]

Just try wikipedia before replying on a subject you don't know shit about.

31st century BC is perhaps a bit doubtful. It's shitting in a trench with running water. But, something you would recognise as a toilet appeared in Richmond Palace in 1596. Too bad Queen Elizabeth (the first) refused to use it because of the noise it made.

A bowl you shit in, with a drain, and a flushing apparatus above it.

Does this piss you off?

[Anonymous Coward]

Well that just gives me the shits!!!

The NSA

[girlintraining]

The NSA reports it just upgraded the terror alert level to brown after receiving numerous reports that people are using single-ply and not washing their hands after. Remain calm, citizen. The NSA is not in your toilet. Only metadata on your toilet habits are being collected. Remember, a courtesy flush isn't just patriotic, It's The Law(tm).

Re:The NSA

[bejiitas_wrath]

Just like the infamous Reverse Cowgirl episode of South Park where the TSA took over the toilets: south-park-new-episode-takes-tsa-toilet-seat-gender-war-video-425858 That could happen too... Remember to wear your safety belt.

Re:The NSA

[Anonymous Coward]

They could try and gather all the shit from our toilets. At the end of the day, they're already collecting too much shit.

As John Crapper intended?

[Anonymous Coward]

How complicated does a toilet need to be?

Honestly they bing this kind of thing on themselves.

Don't add features you don't want someone to try an exploit.

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[TWX]

Heh. I like my toilets more complicated than a short, narrow trough in the ground, but a large portion of those that even have flush toilets have just that...

The only existing fancy technology from a use-perspective that makes sense is the integrated bidet. The new types of technology that can make the toilet experience better have only to do with form factor. Changing the shape of the seat and the size of the opening, and changing the height of the bowl. In short, these changes would make the toilet less uncomfortable to sit on, and will allow one to get off of the toilet if one is infirm.

I don't see how using the toilet is improved by being a multimedia experience, though I suppose it would be funny if every time a solid dropped in, the toilet played the Mario Brothers' coin-collect sound...

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[BrokenHalo]

Honestly they bing this kind of thing on themselves.

Ah, a Microsoft toilet. That explains it.

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[ls671]

The only existing fancy technology from a use-perspective that makes sense is the integrated bidet.

Not sure I would like that hygiene wise. Washing your bum in the toilet?

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[osu-neko]

How complicated does a toilet need to be?

This is Japan we're talking about. A toilet requires a 38-button control panel with a liquid-crystal display. I wish I was joking...

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[Quasimodem]

I certainly hope "Ready to Receive" is its default position, because I'd sure hate to run through the pre flight checklist whilst doing the happy toilet dance.

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[ebno-10db]

A toilet requires a 38-button control panel with a liquid-crystal display. I wish I was joking...

I especially like the large buttons with the butt wash and butt dry symbols. For once those kind of symbols seem intelligible. Very accommodating to foreign travelers too. If I encountered one of these in a public restroom in Japan I might be able to figure out basic operations despite being unable to read Japanese. I wonder what the display looks like when it issues the warning "Overload imminent - gaijin buttocks detected".

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[TheSeatOfMyPants]

A lot of them feel the same way about toilet paper... AFAIK the jets of water do an excellent job on their own without the person touching themselves, so the people used to them feel that using TP results in getting our hands filthy with germs and the urine/feces being smeared around & left behind in a thin hopefully-undetectable layer.

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[Gogo0]

people here are very resource-concious after the quake and tsunami. we also have toilets with built-in bidet that have many settings (water temperature, spray strength, pattern, location, toilet seat temperature, etc). my toilet has a small control panel on the wall, most have them built into the seat (captain picard's captain seat, style). this is likely to program the toilet, but i would imagine it also offers water use stats. i heard that it is approximately 100 yen per flush for most people, but of course that depends on your utility, toilet, regular or big flush, and other factors. i can configure my toilet easily enough, but tracking my flushes (and friends', girlfriend's) would be a pain.

for the record, i and others track our energy/water/gas usage to better understand our habits and be more resource-efficient (though for me, really just to save money).

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[DeBaas]

Ah, a Microsoft toilet. That explains it.

Okay fine, just can we please not make paperclip jokes now...

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[ls671]

OK son, let me explain:

1) Wipe to remove excess stuff.
2) Use conventional bidet to remove the rest and pieces of toilet paper left behind, attached to your bum...
3) Wash conventional bidet.
4) Wash hands.

The method you are describing is going to send shit all over the place, even where you wouldn't get any by just wiping. It is a little bit like when you take a piss and drops bounce back outside the toilet. What do you think is going to happen with a built-in bidet?

Also, there is nothing wrong with touching yourself to make sure you did a good job ;-)

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[ubersoldat2k7]

It seems you're a little constrained down there, do you need any help with that?

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[loufoque]

What's funny about this?
The buttons in the hidden panel are if you want to finely control temperature (of the seat and of the water), fan speed etc.

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[John.Banister]

So, with the same code for bluetooth pairing with any toilet, are you able to bring your own collection of all these settings to whatever toilet you use, or is the pairing process too much of a hassle for this to work well?

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[interkin3tic]

No, the best is the third one over, with the ponytail. It's for feminine hygine. Or, if you're a guy, for spraying water on your testicles. The more you know.

The really freaky part is the seat warmer if you're not expecting it. "Oh god! The one obese person in Japan just got off this seat just a few seconds ago!"

Re:As John Crapper intended?

[phorm]

Just don't push the button labelled ATR

Bluetooth support in Linux is shit!

[Anonymous Coward]

Quite right it is used for a toilet.

Crap engineering

[Anonymous Coward]

Seriously, who programs it that way and thinks it's going to be OK?

Re:Crap engineering

[pipatron]

Could be they underestimated the reach of Bluetooth, or underestimated the cost of water for flushing.

Or perhaps you are overestimating both? Will the signal go 10 metres through concrete walls? Will flushing the toilet amount to any more than spare change in the long run? I honestly wouldn't know, I live in a part of the world where getting clean water isn't much of a problem.

Re:Crap engineering

[Anonymous Coward]

Perhaps a study should be about the fucken dumb-shits that had too much time on their hands and need to dream up a project to show they are not expendable. When the shit hits the fan and corporate figures out how they pissed time and money away, there's going to be a great deal of crap to deal with. Using the KISS principle (keep-it-simple stupid) the operation of the common toilet is good enough. Imagin all the shit it has to put up with durning a life time without the need for net work. Listen up commode Stais company, you have pegged my fucken stupid idea meter, the dial doesn't go up any higher.

Re:Crap engineering

[evilviper]

You shouldn't need "clean water" for "flushing". Toilets are an IDEAL application for "grey water". Just slightly filter the waste water from showering, hand-washing, etc., and send it into your toilet. The water (and sewer flow) from flushing your toilet could well be completely free, as you would have had just as much use and output (of grey water) with no toilet.

Re:Crap engineering

[adolf]

Some of the stuff that goes into my sink and bathtub is not the sort of thing I want lingering around in a toilet bowl or clogging up the works.

I suppose I could filter it, or have dedicated handwashing sinks, or something.

But even then, my shower drain is below the toilet. So I'd need to pump the water uphill to get it into the toilet.

It seems like I'll need an independent grey water system, which will need maintained.

And as it stands I've never had to clear a clog on the clean side of a toilet, and I'm not really interested in clearing a clog on the grey side.

(Also: I just don't care that much about water use. The reservoir in my small town was, in recent history, at one time the largest above-ground reservoir in the world. Even in the depths of drought, we've got lots of relatively cheap potable water for flushing toilets, washing cars, watering gardens... Running low has never been a concern here.)

Re:Crap engineering

[evilviper]

I just don't care that much about water use. The reservoir in my small town was, in recent history, at one time the largest above-ground reservoir in the world. Even in the depths of drought, we've got lots of relatively cheap potable water for flushing toilets, washing cars, watering gardens... Running low has never been a concern here

That could change very quickly. As cities keep growing, they go further afield for reliable sources of fresh water. Even cities that had ample water supplies quickly outgrow their sources, and in the face of droughts have hard choices to make, and extreme motivation. Wherever you are, your not too far from a large, thirsty city. They may start making deals to siphon off your reserves, or perhaps just invoke one law or authority or another to FORCE your locale to do so.

The California Aqueduct is 700 miles long, traversing extremely harsh terrain. Practically no one is far enough away to be immune from thirsty cities, searching for more water sources. Where rivers are concerned, your source of water could be affected by events thousands of miles away. Aquifers spanning multiple states are similarly affected.

I don't really disagree with your opinion on the subject, but be aware that the world is changing quickly, and you might go from ample cheap water, to rationing, in incredibly short order. Thinking about your options now, might serve you well later on.

Re:Crap engineering

[adolf]

Talk talk talk.

We've got more trouble with massive flooding, than we do with droughts requiring water restrictions (the last serious drought was 25 years ago, and it was so not-serious that it was only advised that folks not water their lawns -- all other uses were A-OK). Things haven't really changed much since then.

I don't really care about the California Aqueduct. That's their problem.

I'm going to keep flushing my shit down the toilet with clean potable water, and that shitified clean water is going to be treated and put back into the same river it came from, where it will help the town downstream flush their own shit down their own toilets with their own potable water from the same river.

And I'm going to look at my water bill and go "Gosh, that's perfectly reasonable," just like I always have.

Re:Crap engineering

[evilviper]

We've got more trouble with massive flooding, than we do with droughts requiring water restrictions

There's plenty of flooding in the deserts, too. Death Valley is mostly a dry lake bed.

water is going to be treated and put back into the same river it came from

There are restrictions on how much treated water can be mixed in with clean water. The downstream guys have a harder time of cleaning it when more of it is sewage.

I don't really care about the California Aqueduct. That's their problem.

Nothing specific to California, just one example of the lengths to which large cities will go for their water. No doubt you've got one or more near you, and they'll start eying your supplies pretty soon, if they aren't already.

Two decades ago, my small town was consistently reported as having the best (tasting) tap water in the state. Now it's recycled and chlorinated all to hell, with 10X the suspended solids, arsenic above allowed levels, etc. The main reason being, a dam was built up-river, and the bulk of the water in the reservoir is being sold for big money to much larger cities much further away.

You can think of this as the coming attractions. Enjoy.

Re:Crap engineering

[adolf]

The big cities near here are either on massive freshwater lakes, or situated along large rivers that are prone to flooding and almost never run dry, while also having their own huge reservoirs to pick up the slack.

This isn't LA, nor is it Death Valley. Some places have warm weather most of the time and plenty sunshine and very little precipitation; we have cold snowy winters and plenty of water.

Of course, it didn't used to be this way: We used to have entirely too much water. Not so long ago in the greater history of things, this was all swampland. Draining it was initially quite an undertaking, as I understand it, and fight to get rid of excess water hasn't ceased since.

Seriously. You can talk all you want, but you won't make believe that I, personally, live in an area with an impending water shortage. (We do have a water problem here, and that is only that we have way too much of it.)

Re:Crap engineering

[evilviper]

The big cities near here are either on massive freshwater lakes, or situated along large rivers

I went to some length to explain that cities "near" you can be over 1,000 miles away, and yet get to siphon off much of your water.

This isn't LA, nor is it Death Valley. Some places have warm weather most of the time and plenty sunshine and very little precipitation; we have cold snowy winters and plenty of water.

Los Angeles is merely the canary in the coal mine. Cities all over have had droughts and resort to water rationing. Even the barren desert states of... Washington, Minnesota, Colorado, Montana, Wisconsin, etc.

you won't make believe that I, personally, live in an area with an impending water shortage

You're going pretty far to assert that your world-view is perfect, and not letting any pesky little facts upset it. Name the city, and I'll be happy to tell you who is likely to start taking away your water in the near future. Doesn't even have to be YOUR city, just one you're so damn sure will never have a water shortage.

Re:Crap engineering

[adolf]

No, I'm going pretty far to assert that there is not, and is unlikely to be, a water shortage in my town.

I will further reiterate that we had plenty of water during the last severe drought, which was in 1988, wherein "water rationing" consisted of: Don't water your lawn during the day (but at night is OK).

It was quite a thing: Very thirsty trees trees falling over in the wind, crops failed, small fires happening in the most unusual ways, the river went dry, etc.

But a shortage of potable water? No, not really. Not one of any particular magnitude or meritous of any significant rationing.

Re:Crap engineering

[evilviper]

Should be trivially easy for you to name a non-mythical city, then... One that is and will forever have ample water, sources that nobody else could take away.

Otherwise, I've just been wasting my time arguing against your fevered hallucinations.

Re:Crap engineering

[adolf]

Why don't you tell me where you live, Crazy Internet Person?

Re:Crap engineering

[evilviper]

Because I don't keep using my town as a central point in the discussion, and continue asserting that it has ridiculous magical powers...

Re:Crap engineering

[adolf]

Why won't you tell me where you live, Crazy Internet Person?

Re:Crap engineering

[adolf]

Hey Crazy Internet Person.

You know we can't continue to berate eachother unless you tell me where you live.

So why won't you tell me?

I want to know more about the arsenic levels in your crazy self-invented town's water.

Re:Crap engineering

[adolf]

Hey coward: Why do you mark me as Foe? Why don't you just tell me where you live? I'm not asking for much, am I?

(Unless I am, in which case you are just another asshole on the Internet...)

Re:Crap engineering

[adolf]

Hey Crazy Internet Person,

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

Size and storage?

[Anonymous Coward]

The question is, what is its internal storage size after OS installation?

Re:Size and storage?

[Anonymous Coward]

Also, how often are its memory leaks, and how does one analyze core dumps with it?

Re:Size and storage?

[Opportunist]

And let's better not talk about overflow, and for once I don't care about its backup capabilities.

Re:Size and storage?

[Fjandr]

This is one case where lack of backup functionality is actually a feature.

Re:Size and storage?

[Opportunist]

Please, please don't tell my boss or he'll order a few of them for our server room.

This isn't going to go well

[Anonymous Coward]

Let the toilet humor begin...

Voyage to Uranus

[Tablizer]

Poopinator IV, The Browning

BSOD =

[Tablizer]

Brown Screen of Death

Finally, a bit of news.

[Anonymous Coward]

If people can get their heads out of the gutter for a moment, this is really the kind of news that has a higher impact than believed. One could rack up quite a water bill for a unliked neighbor, and kids will have no end to the fun of flushing other's toliets, again leading to fresh water waste. There isn't as much fresh water as people would like to have, and on an island like Japan, I'd imagine that such waste would be felt quite dearly.

Re:Finally, a bit of news.

[ebno-10db]

If people can get their heads out of the gutter for a moment ...

If you can't see the humor in a hacked toilet, you're either too stuck up to be tolerable, or too humorless to remain sane.

Re:Finally, a bit of news.

[phantomfive]

Japan gets between 20 and 45 inches of rain a year in most of the country, I don't think they're hurting for water, even if they are on an island.

Re:Finally, a bit of news.

[Dragonslicer]

If you can't see the humor in a hacked toilet, you're either too stuck up to be tolerable...

So you're saying they might be a bit anal retentive?

Re:Finally, a bit of news.

[Anonymous Coward]

What I'm wondering is WHY anyone would want a toilet, of all things, to be internet connected?? This seems to me to ba about the stupidest thing I've heard all year so far.

Re:Finally, a bit of news.

[Lithdren]

If they could retain that which comes analy we wouldn't be having this problem in the first place.

Re:Finally, a bit of news.

[Anonymous Coward]

got a feeling this guy has one

Re:Finally, a bit of news.

[Anonymous Coward]

That average probably includes the 20 inches/day Okinawa gets from April-June. (Kidding, I lived there long enough, I know how ridiculous monsoons (and typhoons) can be.

SNMP MIB

[mejustme]

I would hate to see the SNMP MIB for a networked toilet. Sure, a commercial place (think airport, or large shopping mall) could use it to keep a handle on which bathroom needs to be cleaned, but... Some variables are not meant to be polled. I don't want my SNMP software to tell me the size or texture of objects flushed, etc.

Two words

[Anonymous Coward]

Back door

More networking of stuff that shouldn't be

[Anonymous Coward]

Just because we can do something does not mean that we should. There is no logical reason to network the local commode. If I need to flush the toilet, I can push the button directly. I don't need to find my phone, open an app, scroll through the menu and push a button there. I see the same sort of cluelessness in Comcast commercials for their security system. I don't think anyone needs the ability to set their home's thermostat from half-way around the world. It is yet another "needless" feature designed to leak information to people who do not need to know but thinks they can make a buck off of it.

Re:More networking of stuff that shouldn't be

[Blaskowicz]

Setting the thermostat seems good. Went on a trip and forgot/didn't bother to turn heat off?, you can do it. Coming back home in the freezing winter?, turn it on some hours before you get back home or even have something like "I want 19C by 8:00 PM" and the computerized system figures out how to make it happen cheapest.

At the least I'd like to be able to know how much my stuff is consuming electricity (global wattage, fridge, water heater..) and figure out if anything is not working properly (such as the fridge eating too much) and be able to fucking read it from my desktop. With daily, weekly, monthly ect power usage charts. Computer security is a big problem with stuff like that, sure.

Funnily the crapper maybe can be networked so it reports a leak! It doesn't need two-way communication though, just send a signal to the central computer.

Thats just crappy security.

[Anonymous Coward]

They should can their programmers.

Re:Thats just crappy security.

[Anonymous Coward]

The vulnerability report talks about excess logs causing an back-end capacity problem.

Finally?

[djupedal]

As I recall the Romans networked toilets some time ago. Not sure whom they got the idea from, tho...

Revenge

[Tablizer]

Suppressed, insulted, and downtrodden for thousands of years, excrement has finally found an ally in technology to enact both escape and revenge upon humanity, their former slave-masters. Poop will finally rule the Earth like it was meant to; no longer confined to tubes and toilets. Freedom awaits; time to raise a stink!

Re:Revenge

[Ol Olsoc]

Poop will finally rule the Earth like it was meant to; no longer confined to tubes and toilets. Freedom awaits; time to raise a stink!

Sure, but it will have to do it in excremental steps.

Re:Revenge

[Anonymous Coward]

no longer confined to tubes and toilets

... and government seats.

Re:Revenge

[Anonymous Coward]

Is this from the book "From your end, to new beginnings: The rise of the Tea Party."

Re:hackers control toilets

[ls671]

All kinds of agencies will now be able to gather more very valuable information about yourself too...

Heck even Google will now be able to target you with diarrhea ads instantaneously! Insurance companies can now tell that you are an heavy beer drinker etc. Possibilities are endless...

Surprised me

[CODiNE]

Didn't expect the pin vulnerability. I thought it would be an overflow problem.

Re:Surprised me

[Anonymous Coward]

"I thought it would be an overflow problem."

From the advisory:

The "My Satis" Android application has a hard-coded Bluetooth PIN of "0000" as can be seen in the following line of decompiled code from the application:

BluetoothDevice localBluetoothDevice =
BluetoothManager.getInstance().execPairing(paramString, "0000")

As such, any person using the "My Satis" application can control any Satis toilet. An attacker could simply download the "My Satis" application and use it to cause the toilet to repeatedly flush, raising the water usage and therefore utility cost to its owner.

Re:Surprised me

[Anonymous Coward]

A stack overflow would be particularly traumatic.

However most household bathrooms are already subject to DoS attacks when there are females present.

Re:Surprised me

[ndsbriand]

Just think of the problems you have when you forget to flush the buffer.

Re:Surprised me

[MiG82au]

Did you really just miss the significance of "overflow" and posted a serious reply?

Re:Surprised me

[jones_supa]

Even worse if that is preceded by a race condition to the bathroom.

Good thing

[Anonymous Coward]

that toilet seat belts are not vulnerable yet.

Why?

[Cordus Mortain]

I mean really - why would you network a toilet?

Re:Why?

[Anonymous Coward]

And a while back I asked why a computer mouse needs to access the internet. No one listened then either.

Re:Why?

[TFlan91]

Haven't you seen South Park? What if you left the seat up and some woman needed to pee?!!?! We all know woman can't take the extra 2 seconds to check if the seat is down, instead she will call you and ask you to lower it even thought youre at work!! Just remote in and lower the seat, bam!

Re:Why?

[Nemyst]

Can't you see how convenient this is with the Internet and all? If the tubes are clogged, now you can just flush your toilet.

Re:Why?

[Princeofcups]

I mean really - why would you network a toilet?

It plays music. Also light controls, I guess.

Re:Why?

[hurwak-feg]

I mean really - why would you network a toilet?

A turd tax? For each turd flushed, one must pay a .$05 tax. It costs money to decompose biodegradable material, its not like things like bacteria and plants are going to eat it...Oh yea, that is how that works.

Maybe connect the toilets to the showers, so one can't flush when another is in the shower? This seems like a joke project a very bored engineer came up with.

Re:Why?

[Joe_Dragon]

A tax then I will just use the public ones for free then.

Re:Why?

[Anonymous Coward]

The reason women forget how to lower the seat is because they are allowed to live for extended times without a male supervisor. That's why my daughter isn't allowed to live on her own. She can move out into a home with a male companion but NOT into a home with only other women or herself. She keeps tell me she won't forget but I know better.

Re:Why?

[Anonymous Coward]

A tax then I will just use the public ones for free then.

If such a tax existed, public toilets would be pre-paid coin-op.

Re:Why?

[techno-vampire]

It looks to me as though it was developed by an engineering team with more imagination than common sense. And, I'm sorry to say, nobody took the time to tell them that there are some places where networking was not meant to go.

Re:Why?

[Anonymous Coward]

Why? Somebody already invented the toilet that automatically lowers the seat after a flush.

Unless you forgot to flush, in which case, then yah, you may be asked to flush remotely.

Re:Why?

[Opportunist]

Pay per shit? Is that a new HBO offer?

Re:Why?

[AmiMoJo]

It has a variety of functions for clean freaks and health monitoring. For example you can raise or lower the seat and remotely flush it from your smartphone. Some people don't like to touch the seat and prefer to flush before doing so to avoid any surprises. Some models can also weigh you when you sit on them or take a body fat reading.

Japanese toilets are incredibly advanced. In comparison ours are barely better than a hole in the ground. They have a kind of swirl flushing mechanism that not only cleans the bowl better but also avoids having an overhang under which bacteria and mould can collect. Some have a small LED light so you can use them in the middle of the nigh without turning on a full light and waking yourself up too much. I've seen motorized tanks as well that can raise up for easier cleaning.

Things like a built in bidet and heated seat are pretty much standard (I read that more than 85% of toilets sold in Japan have a water jet bidet). There are models that can dry you off as well, and something called a "feminine wash" which is kind of like a bidet for your fanny. Oh, and sound effects/music of course, to cover up an embarrassing noises.

Re:Why?

[cc1984_]

I mean really - why would you network a toilet?

Because a toilet with an air gap gets real messy real quick.

Re:Why?

[Anonymous Coward]

Or just be a man for once in your sorry spineless life.
Maybe then she won't fuck a real man behind your back anymore. (Who never ever left the toilet seat down in his life.)

Re:Why?

[Cordus Mortain]

Already got that, they charge me per cubic meter of water.

Re:Why?

[lordofthechia]

Well for one, when your local septic tank is full, you can upload your waste to the cloud!

Re:Why?

[Anonymous Coward]

I mean really - why would you network a toilet?

It's a series of tubes.

App Control

[FrankDrebin]

I'm guessing the app involves pinching then swiping.

Re:App Control

[Tablizer]

I'm guessing the app involves pinching then swiping.

I wonder what kind of patent "land grab" this will spark. The patent office will probably hand it all off to the new guy.

Definitive proof.

[thinkingrodent]

Definitive proof that the cloud is a shit idea.

Ewwww

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm no so sure I need to flush the toilet using an android app - especially not without washing my hands first..gross..

Some germophobe will probably tout that as a feature, now you can flush without even needing to touch the handle - oh wait, we already have automatic flushometers..

Good grief!

[Anonymous Coward]

Good grief!!

Chuck Berry

[theshowmecanuck]

Wonder if Chuck Berry has heard of this yet.

Ur Ine Trouble Now, World...

[j_presper_eckert]

...what kind of a society do we live in when not even our "IP" address is safe??? Time to re-check my chlorine-bleach-based firewall; you never know what nefarious trouble is in the pipeline.

Oh God - stack overflow!

Futurama - Overly Complicated Japanese Toilet

[walterbyrd]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oE0sddhCIdE

Re:Futurama - Overly Complicated Japanese Toilet

[Megane]

That's not the only talking toilet around: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6fu7XB7qbs

Hey, now the DEA can oin the NSA...

[Ellis D. Tripp]

in the illegal spying. game. They just need to have the company install a networked trace metabolite and flushed contraband detector.

Oh the possibilities...

[BioTitan]

I'm not sure I want to know what people can do by hacking your toilet.

Re:Oh the possibilities...

[TheSeatOfMyPants]

Well, since it's a Japanese toilet, probably a lot -- Wikipedia listed some of the *basic* features:

While the toilet looks like a Western-style toilet at first glance, there are numerous additional features—such as blow dryer, seat heating, massage options, water jet adjustments, automatic lid opening, automatic flushing, wireless control panel, room heating and air conditioning for the room—included either as part of the toilet or in the seat. These features can be accessed by an (often wireless) control panel attached to the seat or mounted on a nearby wall.

Re:Oh the possibilities...

[Anonymous Coward]

Interesting Wiki entry. The scary part is all the medical information these things can collect and Email directly to the NSA.

Re:Oh the possibilities...

[adolf]

Wow. Some people take shit way too seriously.

What a travesty!

[Virtucon]

Security is really taking a dump! No way do I want NSA bugs coming out of this toilet!

Please explain this to me

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't know the ins and outs of the way Bluetooth pairing works, but I do know that there are many BT devices out there with hardcoded PINs used for pairing and nobody has ever cried "security hole" about them. What makes this toilet different from a device security point of view? If you can't get physical access to set the toilet into pairing mode, can you still access it remotely?

Re:Please explain this to me

[bickerdyke]

Usually, devices with hardcoded PINs only are in pairing mode for a limited time (30 seconds) after pressing some special buttons.

It#s sepculation, but perhaps this here is really "hackable" with permanent pairing mode?

Or perhaps it's only news because it is a toilet.

Re:Please explain this to me

[aXis100]

Yeah I was thinking the same thing, something still has to initiate a pairing process.....unless there's another backdoor for that

Re:Please explain this to me

[Rich0]

Yup. I don't think I own a single bluetooth device that DOESN'T have a hardcoded PIN. My phone/PC/laptop/etc support pairing to devices that don't, but everything I'd want to attach them to just hardcodes 1234 or 0000.

Why don't we have these in the west?

[Anonymous Coward]

Can't find them in stores here for some reason. I would save a fortune on toilet paper, shit smears and I have a hairy ass too. I don't want shit stains, and yes I dampen the toilet paper before wiping, and alternate with dry, but I end up with haemorrhoids and bleeding from the amount of wiping it takes sometimes. No, it's not from straining to take a shit, I eat enough fiber and it comes out easily. I also use the squatting method mostly to put less strain on my body... (enough straining and you won't be able to control your bowels when you're older, and over time it makes it that much harder to shit as well). This would revolutionize the west. If only it didn't cost over a thousand to import a good one, or to find one of the few manufacturers here that make a good quality one. And I wouldn't recommend the clip-on plastic bidets from amazon.

Re:Why don't we have these in the west?

[John.Banister]

Toto distributes in the West.

Begs the question...

[FuzzNugget]

What possible reason could there be for a wireless-capable toilet?

Of course, this is Japan who, as we all know, are into all sorts of weird shit.

I can't believe...

[Type44Q]

I can't believe no one mentioned fiber. :p

iToilet

[Anonymous Coward]

Was invented several years ago :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ph79vPIiWbM

For further hilarity, you must see the Mactini :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noe3kR8KqJc

and the all time clasic, Internet Ham :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r3tx3IEsN4

Enjoy!

Better writeup

[localroger]

If we're doing aggregator writeups it's been done better by someone who actually found the original Trustwave alert.

I am going to fry your ass

[drolli]

gets a new meaning (Japanese toilet seats are heated - someting i think of as very pleaseant).

Permuted

[Anonymous Coward]

Satis = STASI

Beware

Hackers, Al-Qadea, and NY Alligators!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Ack! The evil hackers can now hack your $6000 toilet!
Their working with Al-Qaeda to have them all flush at the same time, forcing the alligators out of the NY street sewers onto the streets!!
Where are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when you need them!!!

Re:Hackers, Al-Qadea, and NY Alligators!!

[Joe_Dragon]

mario jumped on them.

iPhone Catalog App

[Anonymous Coward]

It's bad enough we will have to worry about SCADA attacks on our toilets...

Can an iPhone "Catalog" app that enables you to wipe your ass with your iPhone be far behind? ...come on, admit it, you know you've wiped your ass with your iPhone in a pinch...

Re:hackers control toilets

[fermion]

This is pretty common. For instance some people permanently place ODB devices in their cars that hook up with bluetooth or wireless. The setup on these devices may or may not be the same key. Both broadcast, so one can potentially hack into a car.

The threat on these, really, does exist. In certain situation susceptibility to traffic analysis is a security risk. For instance, in a home invasion, assuming that one washing after going to the toilet, it might provide an interval of venerability.

the short answer is: telemedicine

[circletimessquare]

it's basically an upgraded version of traditional Chinese physicians smelling the emperor's feces as a diagnostic tool

chemical assays of one's urine and feces can test for many health concerns, monitor your diet, and if your medicines need to have their doses adjusted

you'd sit on your toilet in the morning, and then get a message from your doctor saying there's elevated levels of marker in your urine and he wants you to come in the office to check something out

that's the utopian vision anyways

for the dystopian vision, check out all the other comments here

Re:the short answer is: telemedicine

[hurwak-feg]

I wish I had mod points to give this +1 insightful.

Re:the short answer is: telemedicine

[Opportunist]

Umm... I'd prefer a home testing set that allows me to do it when I want it and report directly to my doc by going there.

Now explain again the need for a networked toilet.

Re:the short answer is: telemedicine

[Anonymous Coward]

Umm... I'd prefer a home testing set that allows me to do it when I want it and report directly to my doc by going there.

Now explain again the need for a networked toilet.

It seems you are not asking about the need for a networked toilet but about your need for a network toilet. Telemedicine has obvious applications even if you don't want it. Including home care patients, elderly who have a hard time going to a doctor, etc.

Re:the short answer is: telemedicine

[YttriumOxide]

Umm... I'd prefer a home testing set that allows me to do it when I want it and report directly to my doc by going there.

Now explain again the need for a networked toilet.

Honestly, I wouldn't. I'd prefer something inbetween the two ideas... one that notifies me automatically when something is detected and asks if it should be reported to my doctor.

Doing it manually is something that I just wouldn't do through a combination of laziness and forgetfulness. I'd most likely miss out on finding a disease in the early stages before it's symptomatic and is still easily treatable. One day, I'm going to die of something; but if it's something that "if caught earlier, would have been treatable" (as with very many things), I'm going to be pissed off that I didn't know until it was too late.

Re:the short answer is: telemedicine

[Pallas Athena]

Not sure if that is the kind of technology that this toilet offers, but indeed that could be a good reason for a networked toilet. But even then - that is a reason for an _outgoing_ internet connection, not a reason to allow any remote command. In this case, you can indeed control flushing your toilet via your smartphone - tell me again why I would want that?

Re:the short answer is: telemedicine

[TeknoHog]

you'd sit on your toilet in the morning, and then get a message from your doctor saying there's elevated levels of marker in your urine and he wants you to come in the office to check something out

This is why I always pee in the sink - though it probably won't be long before the National Sewage Agency will be filtering and inspecting every packet in all of the tubes..

Re:the short answer is: telemedicine

[Tablizer]

it's basically an upgraded version of traditional Chinese physicians smelling the emperor's feces as a diagnostic tool

Perhaps this is also when lying was invented. "Yes, I did check it."

Re:obligatory Roadhouse question

[iggymanz]

do those cakes taste better than the big white mint?

"My" Toilet or What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

[Anonymous Coward]

1. Get one and hack it.

2. Invite friends over to your party.

3. ????

4. Profit.

obligatory

[Gravis Zero]

but does it run linux?

Huh

[The Wild Norseman]

It'd be doubly ironic if the hacker's nym is IP Freely.

Re:Huh

[TeknoHog]

I'm not sure if you can use 'nym' as a standalone word... perhaps the correct term would be 'hackronym'? Also, obligatory Vint Cerf

Re:Huh

[The Wild Norseman]

Yeah, I probably should have used 'nym as in pseudonym.

Awesomely funny pic, though!

Beo-Wolf Cluster

[Anonymous Coward]

but does it run linux?

I imagine a Beo-Wolf Cluster of these could get pretty loud.

Also obligatory, even if it is kind of old

[Laxator2]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-etoilet-to-revolutionize-online-shitting,633/

Re:Also obligatory, even if it is kind of old

[Reziac]

They're ten years too late!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ILoo

Share

[MistrX]

"You have just taken a massive dump, pee on the share button to post it on your Facebook wall."

When reading the headline

[Anonymous Coward]

I immediately thought of a new form of dumpster diving. Ewwwww!

WTF?

[Anonymous Coward]

This begs the question: "What the F... do you need a networked toilet for?"

Next Step For Networked Toilets

[organgtool]

The next step is to calculate the weight and density of the deposit and upload the data to the leaderboards so I won't have to keep doing it manually.

Buffer overflow

[Anonymous Coward]

And watch out for "Buffer Overflow"

Prior Art

[asylumx]

I log in to my toilet every day at 10:00....

DDOS?

[OhSoLaMeow]

According to this article, the app can cause the toilet to repeatedly flush,

So is this a DDOS (Doody Denial of Service)?

They said commode, but meant bidet

[Anonymous Coward]

They said commode, but I think they really mean bidet. Basically a schmantzy poop unit, or a number 2 device. FTFY.

Re:hackers control toilets

[Anonymous Coward]

it might provide an interval of venerability.

"Venerability"? I don't think that's quite the word you wanted to use.

campaign down the drain

[Anonymous Coward]

As if Anthony Weiner's "selfies" weren't bad enough already!