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Twinkies: The Breakfast of Champion Programmers Still Hard To Get
An anonymous reader writes "When Hostess, baker of Twinkies, filed for bankruptcy and ceased operations in November, Twinkies were no more. Then, a private equity firm bought the business for $410 million and planned to resume production in 'The Sweetest Comeback in the History of Ever.' Now, an article in the Pittsburg Post-Gazette reports that they're still hard to get, since an unprecedented demand has caused orders to exceed production capacity 'by a significant amount.'"
It's pathetic that there could be that much of a demand for 'Twinkies'; the food of the unhealthy and overweight.
*n/m*
n/t
So they got rid of unionized workers and increased demand to unprecedented levels in one stroke?
Watch for the "Hostess Model" to be the path that more companies to follow in the future.
What do they care?
They all care. That is the point. You think anyone chooses to be fat, your less attractive, treated badly, can't fit normal clothes, you are generally slow, as well as a whole host of illnesses...yeah you die sooner as well, so I guess others will have to pay for your pension. Overall though its shitty being fat, and you care about it all the time.
You get penalised for being fat.
Keep your Twinkies. Zingers are the superior creme-filled cake. Because of the icing! Mmm, vanilla-flavored, artificially-colored sugar topping!
Defending IP by destroying access to it? That makes sense, RIAA/MPAA. Go to the corner until you can play nice!
Odds are these are going to be cheap deaths.
You'd think.
Diabetic patients are just as expensive as those old people - maybe more so. And unlike the old people whose days are numbered, those Type-IIs will live a pretty long time due to the medical profession's ability to keep them going.
Stroke, renal failure, amputations, etc ... are a very heavy burden on our medical system. And when you have it in a patient who is in their 40 or 50s, you have MANY years of extremely expensive care.
I've seen a lot of developers eat breakfast over the decades and don't recall ever seeing anyone stuffing their face with a Twinkie. Tankards of coffee would be a far more accurate observation.
Join the Slashcott! Feb 10 thru Feb 17!
Because Twinkies are suddenly magically profitable again. Never mind that it is on the backs of the labor that produces and delivers them ( http://stream.wsj.com/story/latest-headlines/SS-2-63399/SS-2-272258/ ).
The socially responsible programmer says, "BOYCOTT HOSTESS!" and finds a new breakfast of champions.
Are Twinkie addicts really that committed to "authentic" Twinkies? Plenty of companies make knock-offs, which, in my limited experience, are not significantly different from the real McCoy.
If calories in < calories out, you will lose weight.
Except that is an incredibly naive argument. One of the problems with *dieting* is that your body is a machine that has evolved over many centuries, and is simply not fit for today's modern world, which is built around driving to megastores, and sitting in cubicles. Food is chemicals the body can't cope with. Ironically if you eat less your body thinks its being starved...and starts turning food into fat. The bottom line is getting to be the right weight again is a constant struggle, and there is a lot of stupid advice (fad diet of the week). Its very different from an addiction.
I actually thought it was a good thing they shut their doors and stopped producing twinkies. How many years were added to lives of the general population and dollars on health problems not wasted in this country because they were gone? It's hard to say, but probably a lot. They did everyone a favor by failing at basic business sense. I for one think it's unfortunate they're back in production again.
Fat people can fit normal clothes. Plain old, standard, totally normal 5XL t-shirts.
You can wear *anything* as long as its a sack. If you are a man you essentially lose your waist, and as for your post you can wear a extra large tshirt...but it has to be black, oversized to look even a little reasonable. A surprising amount of companies do not even make large clothes, or only have limited range.
You know what else is hard to get? Heroin.
"Champion programmers" don't eat Twinkies. Fat programmers eat Twinkies.
Don't fuck up your body, please. You only get one and it's already out of warranty.
You are welcome on my lawn.
They may not be ramped up in making them yet with getting the supply chain going and such but the run on the stores when they were going out of business I wonder how many people are not worried now that they are back.
Paul: Father... father, the sleeper has awakened! - Dune
I noticed Twinkies back on the shelf a couple weeks ago. I ran up to the stack, hefted a box lovingly and said, "I knew you couldn't resist me for long!" A stockboy standing nearby laughed, but what does a mere lad know of true love?
... shared her with my wife and little boy. "Yes, please! Help yourselves!"
... moved on.
Now I know, however, a shadow has fallen upon this romance. In Twinkies' absence, I tried Tastykake's Dreamies. Her smooth, flavorful cream enrobed in fresh, rich-tasting sponge cake was more than simple comfort when Twinkies left. Dreamies shared sensations with me that were unfulfilled fantasies when Twinkies were my sole companion. Every night after dinner with Dreamies was an exquisite exploration of forbidden flavor. Sometimes, I even had two!
When Twinkies came back, my heart and stomach pounded; lovers reunited! We left the grocery store and I buckled my box safely into the passenger seat and started the engine. At the first traffic light, I reached over and deftly parted her cardboard folds and reached for the treasures within. Cellophane yielded willingly at the next red light and soon familiar flavors and textures burst in my mouth!
Something was wrong.
My tastebuds now expected the fresher, richer flavors of Dreamies. Twinkies had a familiar, hydrogenized aftertaste, but Dreamies didn't. I don't think my companion noticed at the time, but when we got home, I put her on the shelf and have only reached for her twice since then. I've even
There's no way Twinkies doesn't know now. Something has changed between us. I think I hear sobbing in the kitchen when she doesn't know I'm near. I feel bad, but I know she feels worse because she was the one who left. I want to make it work, but Twinkies just can't bring me the sensations for which I yearn. I've
As a EU citizen you are probably aware not a single food from the US comes from the US... there is NO food exported by the US to anywhere else that did not come from somewhere else to begin with. Real American foods such as American Cheese, American Beer, Grits and .... well that is about it, are not export. American bakery products are amongst them. And for good reason.
Twinkies are famous for being one of two things to outlast the nuclear holocaust. And you got to pity the cockroaches if that is the only food left. The maker claims their long life is a myth but I tested this by keeping them on a hot PC for over 2 years and the taste at the end had not changed. Can't say if they spoiled, just that the taste has not changed.
So what is the taste. Imagine a cake.... now imagine cake without butter. Ah, like Chiffon cake you might say... NO. In order to have a long shelf life, the hostess company does not put butter in its cakes. This might confuse those of you who think ordinary cake with butter has a long shelf life if properly wrapped but you know, Americans. They have however NOT simply made a Chiffon cake (also does not contain butter) but added something else. Don't know what but it is chemical You could lick an oil refinery and not encounter such a chemical taste. Why you might want to lick a oil refinery? Possibly because you just ate a Twinky.
The cake is truly horrible in every regard, taste (chemical), texture(dry), color(frightingly yellow pale). Inside the Twinky the ugliest caterpillar ever made a cocoon and died just as its entire body had degraded into a white mass. There are various candy interiors you better not think about to closely, this is they their queen. I think it actually serves as a coating for you taste pupils to guard you against the true horror of the cake.
So why do American love it so much?
THEY DON'T!
When I went to the US a few years ago, I went on the hunt for them because I heard so much about them and had to taste them. Most Americans I asked had no idea what I was talking about. I finally found them at Redneck central Walmart. Everything you ever heard about the USA and don't really believe is happening right now at Walmart. I now understand the compulsive need American feels to own a dozen machine guns.
To recap:
If you EVER hear about a regional delicacy that hasn't made it past its region. Take a GODDAMN HINT. Chocolate, Beer (except American), Wine, Cheese, Appels etc etc ARE NOT regional delicacies because they taste damned good and everyone loves them. Rotten fish, maggot cheese, American cheese are ONLY available in select locations because everyone will sooner declare war then import them. This includes ANYTHING from the hostess company.
They went bankrupt for a reason. Americans are fond of them because their mothers (who hated them) gave them a cake from a big box to shut them up and of such things the memories of childhood are made. But nobody in the US actually eats them. You shouldn't either, I did so you don't have to.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
I guess I've long since ignored the polls on slashdot's front page, but I'd like to see the a poll like this.
What's your average time interval between twinkie consumption?
* 1 day
* 1 week
* 1 year
* 5 years
* 10 years
* closer to infinity
I only post comments when someone on the internet is wrong.
seriously, as i look around the office and recall from offices past, ours is a field rife with obesity, diabetes, stroke, heart disese and various other maladies caused by eating nothing but twinkies washed down with sugary soda. we can all recount a person in our office who was so fat they required special seating thanks to the nerd diet. We all know who the guy with the smell is in the office and chances are hes obese. Someone so overweight that to reach the parking lot to the door was to them a 5k to anyone else. If we we're to consider Diet and Exercise programming languages, then our laughable grasp of them would send us all scrambling to the O'Reilly store so fast youd think it was black friday.
Put down the fucking twinkies. let them go, slow down on the soda (I can attest, its hard to quit) and try meatless monday. consider the wellness program at your office this year. If you dont have one, push for it, because as long as we continue to hold this dreck upon high as some golden calf from which its ambrose we spin our code, then we can all look forward to bigger chairs higher insurance premiums and shorter lives.
and to the offices that have snack bars, please stop. I mean just stop. if you have to offer a snack as a perk, look at getting something healthier than packets of crisps and candy bars because while the HR team might not eat the junk food, the HR team takes a real lunch. nerds at their desks routinely plow through breakfast and lunch without so much as a thought and when offered, will eat anything freely given. We miss meals so you dont miss deadlines. stop poisoning us.
Good people go to bed earlier.
I'm convinced that this whole hostess economic death and magical comeback was just a masterful marketing exercise with the following goals: 1) renew interest in their product which everybody was taking for granted. 2) hide the fact that they (guessing here) added nasty stuff to their ingredients to increase shelf life. Maybe 2) required an assembly line modification and they creatively found a way to use the downtime.
I've never had a twinkie. I want to try
You really don't. They are pretty gross and really bad for you.
what I find pathetic is that they ceased production for a product in such high demand. whoever handled the bankruptcy fucked up.
The company didn't go through Chapter 11 bankruptcy where you keep operating and restructure the company. The company did a Chapter 7 where you liquidate the company. A Chapter 7 bankruptcy occurs when you no longer expect the company to have a reasonable expectation of remaining a going concern. When you do that you stop production because the company no longer exists and is being sold for the residual value of its assets. Someone bought the assets and started production again which is exactly what you might expect in a Chapter 7 bankruptcy.
How the heck can a company that makes products where demand outstrips supply by "some margin" go bankrupt? Isn't that kinda anathema for capitalism?
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
As John Belushi showed us, the true breakfast of champions is little chocolate donuts.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/2345
"To those who are overly cautious, everything is impossible. "
You should sue whoever "educated" you. ...
</unwanted education>
your “non-empty” markup tags are meant to come in pairs. :)
As a EU citizen you are probably aware not a single food from the US comes from the US... there is NO food exported by the US to anywhere else that did not come from somewhere else to begin with.
Baked beans are a long tradition in England, dating back to... hmmm... let's see.
The beans presently used to make baked beans are all native to North America.
Well... that doesn't bode well for your theory. Let's continue anyway.
In the UK, Ireland, Hong Kong and Singapore the term baked beans refers almost exclusively to canned beans in a tomato sauce. Many people regard baked beans as an integral part of the modern full English breakfast, including beans on toast. Every day 2.3 million British people eat Heinz Baked Beans;
H.J Heinz must be a British institution with so many people enjoying their products on a daily basis. Why just look at their history!
The H. J. Heinz Company, also known as the Heinz Company and commonly known as Heinz and famous for its "57 Varieties" slogan and its ketchup, is a United States food processing company with world headquarters in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
Well damn. You're looking more foolish by the minute.
The problem is that the foods from the USA that you take for granted as being UK foods actually came from the USA before you were born. You've simply never questioned the source of your own cultural traditions.
As a EU citizen you are probably aware not a single food from the US comes from the US... because you're an idiot who doesn't know where the things he's eating came from
FTFY
And for bonus laughs, the captcha for this was "schooled"
Maybe they should have a contract with the bakery in Canada that makes them. As they don't seem to have problems with production.
The Canadian licensee never went bankrupt so the production never ended here.
Jesus was a compassionate social conservative who called individuals to sin no more.
As a EU citizen you are probably aware not a single food from the US comes from the US... there is NO food exported by the US to anywhere else that did not come from somewhere else to begin with. Real American foods such as American Cheese, American Beer, Grits and .... well that is about it, are not export. American bakery products are amongst them. And for good reason.
This is simply untrue. There are a significant number of American culinary products which are considered to be of high quality and are consumed the world over. Since you specifically mention cheese, I'll provide a counter example: Maytag blue cheese. It is an American blue cheese that is rated as comparable in quality to Stilton, Roquefort and Gorgonzola by professional cheese tasters.
Heh. Did this a couple weeks ago.
I knew it would come in handy.
XKCD:Xeric Knowledge Comically Dispen
Twinkies are famous for being one of two things to outlast the nuclear holocaust.
Fascinating, is this the one in Hiroshima, or the one in Nagasaki? Also, did we export enough Twinkies to Japan in 1945 to adequately test their resilience?
If you are not allowed to question your government then the government has answered your question.