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iWatch Prototypes Could Be Ready, Apple Hires Fitness Physiologists For Tests

Posted by samzenpus on from the here-it-comes dept.

SmartAboutThings writes "Recently, Apple has been on a hiring spree, allegedly adding to its 100+ team of members of the iWatch team a sleep expert, a former expert in pulse oximetry and many others. Now, according to a recent job listing on Apple's own website, it seems that Cupertino is looking for physiologists for fitness and energy tests. In my opinion, this can only mean that the iWatch is nearing its final stage and that experts are required to assess how it fares."

100 comments

  1. first post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    F' beta.

    1. Re:first post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

      F' beta.

      Why in Odin's name would a company buy a site whose user base was historically so anti M$ and expect that they could make money from it by changing it to a M$/advertising oriented site. It reeks of affluenza enhanced megalomania. Someone's gonna buy this site for pennies in a few months.

      And have you noticed the polls? 1 out of 4 has something to do your employment status or conditions. Can you spell market research? I'll bet your resumes' IP, writing style and any other identifying data is being matched to slashdot accounts so this employment company can give the employer a little bit of extra info about you. As they teach their kids in that part of Ohio where I had to live in exile for 15 years, (said with a Dutch/Amish accent) "Expect the worst from anybody friendly, you won't be disappointed."

      I wish I could be happy. I haven't seen this much backlash against the establishment since the 60's. But you should be targeting NASA! vaca louca!

    2. Re:first post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I haven't seen this much backlash against the establishment since the 60's. But you should be targeting NASA! vaca louca!

      NASA? What did they do?

    3. Re:first post by Nitage · · Score: 3, Insightful

      WE HEAR YOU We did tell you we wanted feedback. Here's our response.

      Your response shows that you didn't hear. The beta is an experiment that has failed. Accept that and move on.

    4. Re:first post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

      Why in Odin's name would a company buy a site whose user base was historically so anti M$ and expect that they could make money from it by changing it to a M$/advertising oriented site. It reeks of affluenza enhanced megalomania.

      Because sites like Slashdot were VERY influential in communicating public opinion on just how bad Vista was.

      Microsoft recognized that, and engaged Waggener Edstrom and Burson-Marsteller to manage Social Media Marketing (SMM) for Windows 7 onwards. They used huge numbers of sock-puppet teams to quash any suggestion that Microsoft products were not stable or optimum in their roles. As well as promoting Microsoft, they heavily attacked competitors like Firefox, Google, Linux, Libre Office, Android etc. Any posting of FOSS or alternative products attracted a storm of FUD talking points that made it impossible to have a rational discussion.

      Because the discussions became so polluted with marketers, most of Slashdot's readership left the site in the years between the Windows 7 release and now. The marketers have stayed though, and still post and moderate to present as rosy a view of their sponsors proprietary products as possible, while spewing FUD about Open Source. If you look at Slashdot's current demographic, most visitors are from call-centers in Mumbai and Pune in IndiaMumbai and Pune in India. They rarely contribute directly to discussions, but copy/paste/post the SMM talking points at every opportunity and moderate their partners into visibility and competitors to oblivion.

      Dice gets most of their income from companies like Microsoft, Apple etc who pay for their products to receive favorable and frequent attention.

    5. Re:first post by Blimbo · · Score: 1

      F' beta.

      Yep, i don't often comment, but that thing called /.BETA is hard to look at..No way i want that in my casual browsing future...

    6. Re:first post by jddeluxe · · Score: 1

      That's why I make it a point to post utter bullshit to all those polls...

    7. Re:first post by Anachragnome · · Score: 2

      "Dice gets most of their income from companies like Microsoft, Apple etc who pay for their products to receive favorable and frequent attention."

      Do not forget Google (How many GoogleGlass Articles this week?).

      US5722418
      +
      US5644363
      +
      GoogleGlass
      +
      Acceptance
      =
      ????

      If history is any sort of an indicator, any rights we sell today, our children must buy back with blood tomorrow

    8. Re:first post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      While this is certainly cool, is there a list where I can cite specific accounts of who are paid marketers rather than unaffiliated customers? Is this theory simply somebody's fantasy?

    9. Re:first post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's Scroogling time again already is it? That was quick.

    10. Re:first post by alex67500 · · Score: 2

      Apollo 13 was kind of Beta...

    11. Re:first post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Are you kidding? Microsoft et al have whipped Slashdot into a rabid frenzy over Glass. Anyone who even sligtly defends it is called a Glasshole or worse.

      Glass stories on Slashdot aren't promotions, they're a signal for the Microsofties to start their (very extended) Two Minutes of Hate.

    12. Re:first post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Why such a specific request?

      The whole point of their online persona management software is to conceal the activites of the SMM sockpuppet handlers.

      Why don't you Google "Burson Marsteller astroturf". Or "Waggener Edstrom Rapid Response Microsoft", or even Mark Penn? Check bak in here with what you've learned...

    13. Re:first post by MouseR · · Score: 1

      I need a few hundred moderator points to troll-flag posts.

      So you dont like the beta. Stop polluting every frickin news story. Some of us would like to read and comment.

    14. Re:first post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Dice gets most of their income from companies like Microsoft, Apple etc who pay for their products to receive favorable and frequent attention.

      [citation needed]

  2. We Are Not Your Audience by Osgeld · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Considering the news is days to weeks old the only value here is the COMMUNITY. We do not clap for your poorly worded couple paragraph news scrapes like a bunch of mindless buffoons, we are here to debate, and find a common ground on topics that we find interesting.

    There is plenty of things to fix on slashdot, beta does not address a single one of them and makes the site pointless to visit. Your move...

    1. Re:We Are Not Your Audience by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      We are your content.

      FuckBeta.com

      I am Beta Spartacus!

    2. Re:We Are Not Your Audience by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Normally I would agree but lately I only come here for the red snowcones that Ex-SLASHDOT BETA user has patented. They're so amazing -- they made all my teeth fall out and I don't even care!

      And I'll continue to spread the word about this amazing red snow until the slashdot admins realize that we're not the audience, we're the community. We *are* the content.

      And free red snow for all!

    3. Re:We Are Not Your Audience by M.+Baranczak · · Score: 2

      And this is what I still don't understand: Why? What was the motivation for the redesign? What problems was it supposed to solve? (And if the answer is 'to better serve ads', then you might as well tell us, because we'll find out anyway.)

    4. Re:We Are Not Your Audience by citizenr · · Score: 4, Informative

      Managers have an intrinsic need to manage shit. With no new projects and business as usual they feel useless and threatened.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P...
      read under "The duck technique"

      --
      Who logs in to gdm? Not I, said the duck.
    5. Re:We Are Not Your Audience by rochrist · · Score: 1

      Well...yeah, except for the part where the 'community' here is akin to a horde of rabid weasels.

  3. *slow clap* by pr0ntab · · Score: 1

    nt

    --
    Fuck Beta. Fuck Dice
  4. Are you not entertained! by Nightbrood · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Try us Slashdot.... if you want to proceed with Beta then let's do the following test:

    1.) Disable comments for a day
    2.) Post stories that are "more accessible" for your "wider audience" to consume
    3.) Watch your stats (we know you are obsessing over them.)
    4.) Tell us how you like your numbers

    Don't screw this up DICE... I've enjoyed Slashdot as a community for 16 years but I am not afraid to move and it sounds like much of the community feels the same way.

    #IamSlashdot

    1. Re:Are you not entertained! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Hey Dice! Try this experiment on 10-17 February and get a true measure of how much wider your audience gets!

    2. Re:Are you not entertained! by pitchpipe · · Score: 1

      I've enjoyed Slashdot as a community for 16 years but I am not afraid to move and it sounds like much of the community feels the same way.

      I'm not afraid to move, it's just that I don't think anything else will be as good. reddit is good if you turn off the default subreddits and subscribe to AskHistory and such, but the commenting system comes no where near to Slashdot's (there's just so much shit on there). I guess that's why I'm commenting on this so much: I care. I want to stay here.

      I will leave though.

      --
      Look where all this talking got us, baby.
    3. Re:Are you not entertained! by Nightbrood · · Score: 2

      If there is one thing I know about this community it is that, unlike the vast majority of other communities out there, we have a huge concentration people with the knowledge, skillset, and passion to create and preserve our community without need for a corporate minder. Perhaps Slashdot beta was the kick in the pants we needed to find out how much we truly valued it. I am already looking into how I can assist in creating a new home for our community if Dice decides that they are not going to listen the community.

    4. Re:Are you not entertained! by clonehappy · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I agree. However, while it wouldn't be hard to replicate the system and start over anew, we would lose the years of discussions that slashdot has archived. Don't overlook the value of over a decade and a half of the discussions that have made this site what it is lo these many years.
       
      And the value, for what it's worth, of someone with a 3-4 digit ID coming into the discussion to smack someone with his/her cane. We know what that low UID means, not that the person is speaking the gospel, but maybe we should stop and think about what he or she is saying a little further.
       
      While I agree, whole heartedly mind you, that Slashdot Beta is fully broken, there are aspects of this place that are just impossible to be replicated. Dice isn't just going to hand over the database to the community. We need to preserve and fight for what we have left rather than try and start over anew. It would never be the same.

    5. Re:Are you not entertained! by Nightbrood · · Score: 1

      I agree. You are correct about this and it would be regrettable to lose it. Hopefully DICE is sensible and starts treating the community with more respect and comes up with a solution that makes everyone happy.

      The biggest challenge here is being willing to lose that historical treasure trove. If you are not willing to lose it then you have no power over the changes others are making that affect you. I would have been quite happy to stay lurking as I normally do. However, the unanimity of the response from our fellow members showed me that this was something I should not stay quiet about.

    6. Re:Are you not entertained! by mrbluze · · Score: 1

      I think it would be wise to start a new site already. The worst that can happen is the new site will fail and Slashdot will bounce back and return to its roots.

      --
      Do it yourself, because no one else will do it yourself. [beta blockade 10-17 Feb]
    7. Re: Are you not entertained! by PCM2 · · Score: 0

      Hell, might as well use the opportunity to shill my own stuff (seems like that's what /. is for these days, anyway)...

      I was one of the first 5,000 /. users, and like most of you, I too am fed up with all the shenanigans since Dice took over.

      That said, I'd like to personally invite the whole, babbling mess of you to come on over to The Register at www.theregister.co.uk.

      We're different. We're a little weird. We like to write headlines that pass people off. A lot of the site is pitched from a UK perspective, which means Americans sometimes don't get it, but we actually have an international staff with offices in Australia and San Francisco (where I work).

      And even if the headlines sometimes get a little out there, the reporting is actually mostly pretty straight -- although we don't mind calling bullshit when it's warranted. Anyway, at least we DO reporting, unlike /., which just slaps a misleading summary on someone else's stuff. And several of our people have actual tech background (though others are just reporters).

      What's more, compared to any other tech site I've ever worked for, we actually do have a lot of really articulate, whip-smart commenters on our stories. I think you would like some of what you read there. We have some trolls and dimwits, too, but that's par for the course.

      Fair warning: our comments ARE moderated by our editors. That's probably never going to change, owing in part to the truly ludicrous UK libel laws, where we can be held responsible for the contents of your comments if we "publish" them. But most of what we pull are just pointless personal attacks and spam.

      And as a bonus for /.ers, our site design is about as ugly as the old /., so there's that.

      Come check us out. We might be kind of an acquired taste but once you acquire it you might be hooked.

      --
      Breakfast served all day!
  5. Not an idle threat by istartedi · · Score: 2

    If you think this contributor won't pack up and leave when things get sucky, just hop on over to my Flickr page and note the date of my last picture.

    Lotsa luck getting that ad revenue without contributors. News aggs plastered with ads are a dime a dozen. You're Digg4ing your grave.

    --
    For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
  6. Cool by koan · · Score: 1

    Now instead of wondering if you're a douche I'll know you are.

    --
    "If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."
  7. Or just an enhanced fitness product by D1G1T · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Don't forget that Apple has been offering fitness accessories with Nike since 2006.

    1. Re:Or just an enhanced fitness product by Princeofcups · · Score: 3, Funny

      Don't forget that Apple has been offering fitness accessories with Nike since 2006.

      What does that have to do with the Beta?

      --
      The only thing worse than a Democrat is a Republican.
  8. Slashdot Beta? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Thanks Obama!

    1. Re:Slashdot Beta? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Thanks Obama!

      Mother fucker! I knew it!

  9. I would rather... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Lick a jellyfish than use slashdot beta.
    Go swimming in a porta potty than use slashdot beta

  10. Boycott Slashdot by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Dear Timothy:

    We don't want this crap you call a beta. We will leave! You will be out of a job! Your wife will leave you.

    Beware the ides of March! This beta will be the death of Slashdot. Beware the ides of March!

    Boycott Slashdot

  11. Message to Dice about Slashdot Beta by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The more you tighten your grip, the more the Slashdot community will slip through your fingers.

    (BTW, we are a community, not "a audience".)

  12. Re: Listed has been removed by Scowler · · Score: 1

    Care to list those Fortune 500 companies that somehow pass your dirty test? I certainly don't know any.

  13. I'm still joining the Boycott, are you? by beta-boycott · · Score: 1
    So.. Timothy has said:

    Right now, we're directing 25 percent of non-logged-in users to the beta

    I hardly saw any real words of action in his post. I would rather have heard something along the lines of.. "We have mistakenly pushed beta on 25 percent of our users prematurely. We will be directing those users back to the classic site while we action your feedback regarding, fully functional commenting, over spaced generic design and fixing reported bugs. We do not intend on directing users to the beta site again until we're sure 90% of you are happy with the changes" If Timothy says something with at least this much substance then I won't feel the need to boycott. But as I've heard the the problematic commenting was highlighted in October last year and not been fixed since, and they've started pushing users on to beta regardless.. I don't have much confidence in much action being taken any time soon. Fuck Beta, Boycott is on.

  14. beta needs... by Badblackdog · · Score: 1

    O Dice-O-CAre

  15. Yeah GP keep on topic! by moogla · · Score: 1

    We have very pressing matters at hand that happened this week, not last week.

    --
    Black holes are where the Matrix raised SIGFPE
  16. They've responded! by fiannaFailMan · · Score: 0, Redundant

    We've had only a few major redesigns since 1997; we think it's time for another. But we really do take to heart the comments you've made about the look and functionality of the beta site that houses Slashdot's future look. So let's all slow down. Right now, we're directing 25 percent of non-logged-in users to the beta; it's a significant number, but it's the best way for us to test drive this new design, to have you show us what pieces need to be fixed, and how. If you want to move back to Classic Slashdot, that path is available: from the Slashdot Beta page, you just need to select the "Slashdot Classic" link from the footer (or this link). We're committed to keep you informed of the plans as changes are implemented; we can't promise that every user will like every change, but we don't want anything to come as a surprise. Most importantly, we want you to know that Classic Slashdot isn't going away until we're confident that the new site is ready. And — okay, we've got it — it's not ready. We have work to do on four big areas: feature parity (especially for commenting); the overall UI, especially in terms of information density and headline scanning; plain old bugs; and, lastly, the need for a better framework for communicating about the How and the Why of this process. Some of you have suggested we're not listening; on the contrary, some of us are 'listening' pretty much full-time. We're keeping you informed of this process, because we're a community and we want to take everyone with us. But, yes, we're trying something new. Why? We want to take our current content and all the stuff that matters to this community and deliver it on a site that still speaks to the interests and habits of our current audience, but that is, at the same time, more accessible and shareable by a wider audience. We want to give our current audience the space where they are comfortable. And we want a platform where we can experiment with different views of both comments and stories. It's not an either/or. It's going to be both. If we haven't communicated that well enough, consider this post a first step to fixing that. And in the meantime, we're not sorry to have received a flood of feedback, most of it specific, constructive and substantive. Please keep it coming. We will be adding more specific info here in the days to come.

    Let's give them a chance, folks.

    --
    Drill baby drill - on Mars
    1. Re:They've responded! by Koen+Lefever · · Score: 1

      Please keep it coming.

      That is exactly what we are doing. You'll see what happens when we stop keeping it coming between February 10th and 17th.

      --
      /. refugees on Usenet: news:comp.misc
    2. Re:They've responded! by ColdWetDog · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Let's give them a chance, folks.

      We did. BozoBeta has been around for quite some time. Aside from a few minor cosmetic changes and a few (very few) functional improvements, it's been the same pile of fail. There have been precious few positive comments about it. When Slashdot started pushing the Beta design, the negative comments became more numerous, more strident and more detailed.

      So what we get from Timothy is a bit of marketing babble liberally sloshed on to a smidgen of comprehension.

      The ball is in your court, Slashdot. Figure it out, it's not really all that hard.

      --
      Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
    3. Re:They've responded! by M.+Baranczak · · Score: 1

      It's a small step in the right direction. But they've mishandled this thing so badly that it'll take more than one vaguely worded post to quiet people down.

    4. Re:They've responded! by plasticsquirrel · · Score: 4, Insightful

      There's a perfectly valid alternate design for Slashdot already:

      http://web.archive.org/web/20000305021033/http://slashdot.org/

      Still looks great -- I prefer it to this design and to Beta. Admins, please bring back the design used around 2000. There is little whitespace, so little wasted space, larger clearer fonts, and still a lot on each page, and little or no JavaScript cruft. Besides those significant improvements, it looks warmer and more classic.

      BETA SUCKS. FUCK BETA.

      --
      Systemd: the PulseAudio of init systems
  17. iWatch by luckymutt · · Score: 1

    iWatch Beta disenfranchising the /. community.

  18. I still love you slashdot! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Where else can a guy get his Google, Facebook and Apple slashvertisements all in one place?

  19. Apple iWatch can't load Beta by Spy+Handler · · Score: 3, Funny

    they tried to load Slashdot Beta on the iWatch and it exploded, taking out several hipster Apple testers.

  20. this beta sucks by ppff · · Score: 0

    This beta sucks so much that I registered on Slashdot just to say that this BETA sucks !

    --
    x
  21. No, we MUST keep the pressure on. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    No, we need to keep the pressure on.

    I learnt a important lesson about a decade ago. Here in the UK there were fuel price protests which _really_ scared the government of the day.

    However, the protesters let the momentum disappear after some promises were made and by the time they realised their mistake and organised another protest, the new protest display turned out to be only a shadow of the original protests and nothing really got changed.

    I've never forgotten that lesson.

    1. Re:No, we MUST keep the pressure on. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk beta. I've seriously considered dumping slashdot from my RSS feeds, and this'll be the tipping point. make the old site better, don't make a new site

    2. Re:No, we MUST keep the pressure on. by dcollins · · Score: 1

      I was going to mod you up, but I think you'll get to 5 anyway, so instead I will add to your astute observation.

      Firstly, it pleases me for Slashdotters to recognize the need for joint organizing and pressure on management, aka, a form of *union*. I'm downright impressed.

      Secondly, I think there are several nations in crisis today where the protesters are acting on your words; while the sitting powers seek to divide and distract them with partial and vague promises, the protesters are taking this as the moment to redouble pressure, and it seems like that those instances are the most successful. So there are more case studies of what you mention happening around the world this very instant.

      --
      We know where leadership by an anti-intellectual "strongman" who scapegoats minorities and likes boisterous rallies goes
    3. Re:No, we MUST keep the pressure on. by dvh.tosomja · · Score: 1

      I fully aggree, fuck beta

  22. Re:fago8Z by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You almost got me you rascal!

  23. What is with this anti-readability trend? by Jack+Kolesar · · Score: 2

    So, I was logged in and didn't get to see the beta so I just checked it out. I have to ask something. Why oh why has light grey on lighter-grey become the new trendy style for UI? Do people no longer wish to be able to read the shit that is on a page and just mindlessly stare at a whitewashed screen? You do realize that some contrast is OK right? There is a reason that people use black type on paper. The Kindle isn't coming out with a light grey on white version to make it cooler. Fuck! It was bad enough when I first opened my iOS 7 mail on my company iPhone. Now I have to see the same shit mimicked on the last semi-intelligent website on the internet? First Yahoo fucks up my homepage that I've been using for the last decade and now Slashdot has to go and screw up my favorite website since 90's. Damn you guys! Keep this shit readable! New for the sake of "new" is not better!

    1. Re:What is with this anti-readability trend? by emacs_abuser · · Score: 1

      Yeah, I noticed the gray on gray too, and gave them feedback.

      So, I just checked the current site. Background is okay at ff/ff/ff but the text is 31/37/39. I don't get it, that's just plain nuts.

  24. Pulse Oximeter by jblues · · Score: 1

    I'd love to have an onboard pulse oximeter . . . being young (ish) and in good health, on the rare times that I've had it measured it was 98-99% However, I'm very curious about what happens during: * Intense exercise * Illness I've even considered buying one just to find out. . .

    --
    If it acquires resources on instantiation like a duck, then its a shared_ptr<Duck>
  25. elementary by itchybrain · · Score: 1

    Maybe those experts Apple hired were not to oversee the development of iWatch but to diagnose a mass disorder that had hit its employees hard.

    Hey, think differently, after all.

  26. Is there any summary of why Beta sucks? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Has someone written a coherent, all-in-one-place summary of why Beta sucks?

    If the powers that be at Slashdot Corporate are interested in engaging the community, perhaps they will make the design process public; if not, somebody else perhaps has/will?

    1. Re:Is there any summary of why Beta sucks? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      http://slashdot.org/firehose.p...

  27. A modest proposal by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Perhaps instead of spamming "fuck beta" in the comments of every article, instead we could just comment as usual except with an extra phrase at the end or in the sig. The phrase in question is "Ceterum censeo Beta esse pedicandum," which basically translates as, "By the way, I think the Beta must be fucked." (Anyone who actually knows Latin should feel free to improve the phrase's grammar if necessary.) I think this would be a good way to protest now that Dice is starting to get the point. Keep doing the "I am Slashdot" thing too, it's a good response to the things about this community that Dice still doesn't understand.

    Ceterum censeo Beta esse pedicandum.

  28. The internet - by Fisher Price!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The beta site is part of a terrible trend, as is windows 8 - its computing for the drooling mouth breathers that watch Entertainment tonight and give a crap about what some douche bag entertainer had sex with or whatever...Maybe the internet is just doomed...

    ODD COINCIDENCE My confirmation word is harming - which is exactly what Dice is doing to this site

  29. Longtime lurker here by fuckbetafuckbeta · · Score: 1

    For all the lurker types out there, fuck beta

  30. I like the more intellectually difficult route by moogla · · Score: 1

    Which is in the spirit of many Amazon reviews, where the comment is sort of on topic but then goes on to discuss how it might be an analogy for (or direct cause of) Slashdot's beta site sucking. Some of the posts I've seen in this vein were absolute gems.

    --
    Black holes are where the Matrix raised SIGFPE
  31. Our community transcends any mere "place". by j_presper_eckert · · Score: 1

    An iWatch??? Oooooh shiny! I wish that I had an iWatch prototype so that I knew exactly when 2359 hrs rolls around on Feb. 8, and I can leave this inglorious Beta disaster once the week-long "slashcot" begins. There might not be much point in waiting for the trainwreck to begin; it's already in progress, and we're all starring in it. Dunno if I can masochistically "tough out" this entirely needless murder of my favorite discussion forum. I very rarely post, but I read a great deal of it and am always entertained, challenged, and (most of all) educated by the entire Slashdot experience.

    Fuck Dice. Fuck 'em right in the wallet; fuck 'em in the share price; fuck 'em in the investment portfolio and cut the strings on everyone's golden parachutes. :P

    Anyone at Dice who cheerfully refers one more time to us as a motherfucking "audience" is a complete smeg-head.

    I'm not sure I want to stick around and watch Dice's inept version of Mount St. Helens erupt in slow-motion destruction. Seeing it deserted en masse in coming months due to the Beta's inevitable victory, and having it start resembling something like sad old deserted kuro5hin, is probably too much for me.

    In the big feedback thread, Soulskill's oozed forth nothing but laughably transparent management-speak platitudes that are devoid of any actual understanding of, let alone respect FOR, the community that comprises Slashdot. if he doesn't get it, or is studiously AVOIDING getting-it, then i'm sure his Chad Lumbergh superiors at Dice Central Command sure as hell don't get it. Tonight's presently-in-progress Beta feedback thread is pointless 'cos the suits really have no intention of switching gears, and the usability-destroying "OMG Ponies!"-ization of ye olde 'dot is a solid certainty.

    Up until this moment the whole thing made me rage, but now I'm just feeling a bit more sad than angry. Yeah, we're being sold out. I'm not going to pretend I'm not pissed-off and unhappy about that.

    Stick a fork in ye olde 'dot, folks; it's done. Last one out, please turn off the hot-grits spigot.

    I look forward to some other new site/wiki/blog/Fuhrerbunker/casino where I can digitally rub shoulders with y'all in the VERY near future. There are already several posts in other current threads about a possible Altslashdot.org; who knows what other new purpose-built destinations might come to be? But I truly have very little further hope for this fascinating & enlightening place that I've been visiting since before 9/11. It's a place that I miss already, if you know what I mean.

    But then again, Dice's chronic greedy misunderstandings about that are a huge part of this needless mess, hey? This crufty ol' comment-friendly website, as a place, does not matter. Why?

    Because we're Slashdot.
    Our community transcends any mere "place".
    Together, we can exist anywhere we choose.

    ~JPE

    --
    Can't stop the Beta? Time to evacuate to ##altslashdot at webchat.freenode.net - Slashcott in effect.
    1. Re:Our community transcends any mere "place". by mrbluze · · Score: 1

      look forward to some other new site/wiki/blog/Fuhrerbunker/casino where I can digitally rub shoulders with y'all in the VERY near future. There are already several posts in other current threads about a possible Altslashdot.org; who knows what other new purpose-built destinations might come to be? But I truly have very little further hope for this fascinating & enlightening place that I've been visiting since before 9/11. It's a place that I miss already, if you know what I mean.

      Whenever it's ready! I'll subscribe too.

      --
      Do it yourself, because no one else will do it yourself. [beta blockade 10-17 Feb]
  32. Re by grrrl · · Score: 1

    >http://web.archive.org/web/20000305021033/http://slashdot.org/

    oh that page made my heart a flutter

    (posting from the beta OMG WTF BBQ)

    1. Re:Re by halcyon1234 · · Score: 1

      >http://web.archive.org/web/20000305021033/http://slashdot.org/
      oh that page made my heart a flutter

      No shit:

      Banner Ads on Your Cell Phone
      Technology Posted by emmett on Saturday March 04, [2000] @11:25AM
      from the just-what-you-need dept.
      James Ensor writes, "I'm sure you'll all be just thrilled to hear that Ericsson has developed and is implementing a way to do targeted ads on Internet enabled cellphones. They envision TV-like FMV commercials in the future.

      In conclusion: Fuck Beta.

      --
      UTF-8: There and Back Again
    2. Re:Re by plasticsquirrel · · Score: 1

      Am I the only one who really misses those old days and still thinks that the older layout was better? Remember when the pages just loaded all the comments without JavaScript bullshit? Remember when it was still fast despite offering so much, because it was simple? It was easy on the eyes and seemed to be teeming with life and information. :-)

      The current design is not as good as that older design, but one thing is certain:

      BETA SUCKS. BETA SUCKS. BETA SUCKS. DICE ARE HORRIBLE UNTHINKING MONSTERS, AND SO IS ALICE SOMETHING-SOMETHING.

      --
      Systemd: the PulseAudio of init systems
  33. AD by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    AD not News

  34. The design process - iwatch vs Beta by spasm · · Score: 3

    "this can only mean that the iWatch is nearing its final stage and that experts are required to assess how it fares"

    Or alternately, they're getting physiologists in at the early design stage so it's actually designed around user needs not marketroid fantasies.

    Somewhat unlike the process that led to Beta.

  35. www.alsakkaftravel.net by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

          5

    2014

     

  36. Bring back Taco and the GNAA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Maybe CmdrTaco can buy it back for $50 and clean up this shit.

  37. No you don't. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "I wish I could be happy."
    No, no you don't. You just hate change and like to whine. My rpoof?
    ""Expect the worst from anybody friendly, you won't be disappointed."" this is the exact opposite of wanting to be happy

    You, like every other whiney ass just ,need the slightest excuse to bitch. Like some spoiled child.

    The new site responds better, looks better, and has some nice features.

    I especially like how you don't actually list issue you have, just a rant and complain like a 13 year old a reddit. Oh wait, my kids are teenagers on reddit and they don't complain nearly as much as you. When they do complain, that have a specific reason.

    1. Re:No you don't. by gl4ss · · Score: 2

      nice features?
      the threading is shit. the use of space on screen is shit. (NONE of the article pictures are relevant!)

      loads of empty space where there used to be useful links and snippets of nerdy information.

      even the javascript is broken. (the advert only pops on when scrolling a bit down, when header goes into sticky mode)

      --
      world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
  38. I know what will happen by geekoid · · Score: 0

    Actual discourse among intelligent adults why all the whiny complainers are away.
    We will be able to have an actually Apple story without people like you going on long rants, be able to have discussion about climate with all the idiot who think they matter are away.

    It will be glorious.

    Any chance we could get you to extend that date, to say... the year 3000?

    --
    The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
  39. Fucking Shill by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    The new site responds better, looks better, and has some nice features.
    I especially like how you don't actually list issue you have

    Exactly like how you don't actually list what the "nice features" are. Or what you consider "better looking". Or how you're measuring the "response".

    Because for most of us, the response time is either no different, or MUCH slower since you have to keep "loading more" comments over and over, instead of just "loading all".
    And I don't think it looks better, it wastes a shitload of screen real estate and looks like some high school project that was slapped together after a late-night masturbatory session with your MLP dolls.
    Nice features? I see no nice features. I see a giant pain in the ass.

    So, Fuck you and fuck beta.

    1. Re:Fucking Shill by mattack2 · · Score: 1

      instead of just "loading all".

      Wait, how do you load all comments? At some point, Slashdot has (always?) broken into 'pages', at some weird place.. It's breaking by sub-threads or something, which seems reasonable, except that the subsequent pages usually/always have tons of repeated content..

      To be clear, I'm talking about Classic view.

  40. Agree by Antiharpist · · Score: 1

    I'd love a nice watch that I could browse classic Slashdot on. Fuck Beta.

  41. beta really does suck by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I scrabbled like a ferret to find out how to get back to classic.

  42. Hey that's OFF TOPIC by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    And here's another:

    Rupert Murdoch was beaten up by his Chinese wife! She beat the crap out of the old fool!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

  43. Like all the rest... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ....it will be overpriced, under-performing, and unsupported as soon as they decide they need to do something more with the platform. Why people continue to subject themselves to Apple is beyond me.

  44. The beta interface is terrible! by denominateur · · Score: 2

    I've been a slashdot reader for a good 15 years now and I really hope that the new beta design changes substantially before being pushed to production.

    1) FAR too much white space, only two or three stories fit on my screen! This is not Windows 8 and most of us don't have the attention span of a goldfish....
    2) Titles have the same background as the story text. This makes it much more difficult to quickly skim the site. Look at this, I made three paragraphs and there's about an INCH of space between them!
    3) The comment system has been thoroughly broken.

    Launch a poll for the new design and see what happens...

  45. Beta sucks really by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I tried beta. twice. The comments are just not readable

  46. Feature request by Savage-Rabbit · · Score: 2

    There's a perfectly valid alternate design for Slashdot already:

    http://web.archive.org/web/20000305021033/http://slashdot.org/

    Still looks great -- I prefer it to this design and to Beta. Admins, please bring back the design used around 2000. There is little whitespace, so little wasted space, larger clearer fonts, and still a lot on each page, and little or no JavaScript cruft. Besides those significant improvements, it looks warmer and more classic.

    BETA SUCKS. FUCK BETA.

    Dear Slashdot management,
    Can we please get a button, located at the top of each thread next tot he 'Post' button, that filters out any posts with the word 'Beta' in them when you press it?

    Sincerely,
    Those rest of us.

    --
    Only to idiots, are orders laws.
    -- Henning von Tresckow
    1. Re:Feature request by clubby · · Score: 1

      A means of mass-ignoring the overwhelming majority of posters who hate the redesign? Based on Dice's attitude so far, they might go for this.

  47. fukc the beta! by ppff · · Score: 0

    I will join the boycott!

    --
    x
  48. Better question by Dcnjoe60 · · Score: 1

    A better question would be why do ACs keep posting this shit against the beta, when in a separate article, the powers that be said they were backing down and re-evaluating?

    1. Re:Better question by clubby · · Score: 1

      Because they said they're slowing down, not backing down. We say "scrap the whole thing, it can't be saved" and they say "we won't force it down your throat until we think we can get away with it." Until they give a little more ground than that, we'll have to keep pointing out that what they're saying and doing are unacceptable.

    2. Re:Better question by RobertLTux · · Score: 1

      because for a number of use the response to
      WHAT DO YOU WANT

      ends with a wave and "Can you and your associates arrange that Mr SoulSkill??

      Okay heres the deal when the US elects a President that actually does what s|he promised when s|he was on the campaign trail then you can shut down Classic Slashdot.

      --
      Any person using FTFY or editing my postings agrees to a US$50.00 charge
  49. paragraph issue seems to be fixed by denominateur · · Score: 1

    hmm, they seem to have fixed the paragraph issue

    apparently